I stood there, looking into the livingroom. Just looking at her, thinking about how to approach her, without calling her out of her name, without being hostile, without all the bullshit. I finally said another prayer, and walked into the living room and sat right beside her on the couch. She looked at me weirdly, and scooted over. So I scooted right next to her again.
She looked at me and rose her arched eyebrow
"Um.."
"Wait. Hold up," I put my hand up. "I got something to say.."
Again, she stared at me weirdly and cautiously. I took a deep breath before speaking
"I been thinking and, I wanna squash the beef we got. I mean we blood, we can't keep hurting each other like we do. I don't want to keep going places, and we see each other and don't speak like we don't know each other. I don't wanna keep putting each other down. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting, and I'm tired of being miserable." I told her
She eyed me for a while then finally opened her mouth to speak.
"I never thought you'd say that. Especially so sudden.." She said
"I know you don't really know how to apologize, but I know that's what your trying to do. So I forgive you. Do you forgive me, for all that I've done to you?" She asked sincerely
"Yeah, I forgive you." I told her
She smiled at me before inching towards me to give me a hug.
I really did forgive Shawnie, it's hard to forgive, but I gotta do it for me. It's alright to forgive, but don't ever forget. The question is, did she really forgive me?
Whether she did or didn't, it's now her problem. I've dropped all my problems with her. I've fixed issues with August, Most importantly I'm working on a bond with the woman that brung me in the world.
I ain't saying all my problems are solved, I still gotta lot of work to do. But I must I must admit I'm proud of myself for taking the first step to bettering my life. After chatting with Shawnie, about absolutely nothing, I went back upstairs to my room, or shall I say our room. I grabbed my phone, no missed calls, but I had a text from tank, asking would I be cool with august working with me from now on to make drops, kid must be really impressing Tank to be Finna make drops like that with me. I thought back on the day corahn and I made a drop to that one bitch's house. Tink. I laughed to myself, I was so pissed that day. Funny how when time goes by, moments that angered you or saddened you, sometimes you look back and laugh about it. Funny how time can change everything. A few days ago, corahn was my bestfriend, and I'd kill somebody over him, yesterday, I wanted to kill him.
I texted tank back, and told him I'd be cool with august working with me. I then went on Instagram, I barely log on this shit. The last picture I posted was 12weeks ago according to Instagram. I scrolled through my pictures, most were Kotd pictures. I stopped at one, one of me and corahns shoes. He had on his Last shot 14s, while I had on my candy cane 14s. I then decided to go to his profile.
He had the huge ass house that he was living in on there. I shook my head to myself. Instagram knows everything about his ass. The house was nice as hell though, looked like a mini mansion. Then he had a picture that caught my attention, him and some female smiling, looks as if they were sitting on a couch or something. This must be the little bitch he was telling me about. She was cute or whatever, she was bright skinned with burgundy hair, I think she may be Mexican or something. I went to the next picture. She was behind him with her lips tooted up, and her hands throwing up a gang sign. One that she probably knows nothing about.
"Chilling with my thug Tay." The caption read. I smacked my lips, her ass don't know what a thug is. That's one thing that always irritates me with females, they always wanna claim a title that doesn't truly fit them. Bitch if you notta thug, don't say you are. Don't act like you are. Im not Trynna say im a thug, but I will get on yo ass.
