Castle and Beckett are watching Benny (The Good The Bad And The Baby) And Castle finds out that Beckett wants to try and have children.
•••
Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun
Forever (Oh)
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms
And love, oh love
I'll be a fool, for you I'm sure
You know I don't mind (Oh)
You know I don't mind
'Cause you,
You mean the world to me (Oh)
I know I know
I've found, I've found in you
My endless love
Lionel Richie - Endless Love
•••
Castle had just thrown away the paper towel that he used to get Benny's throw up off of the shoulder of his shirt. He turned around looking at Beckett who was holding Benny, different than before. She wasn't holding him like a bomb, she was holding him like a mother. And he loved that. He imagined himself having children with her, playing around the house together, building forts, taking them to the park. He imagined Kate rocking their child to sleep in her arms while singing softly. It almost brought tears into his eyes.
"What?" Beckett asked with a hesitant smile, noticing the big grin plastered on Castle's face.
"Nothing." He smiled.
"Your face doesn't look like nothing." She countered with a smile.
"I was just daydreaming."
"About?"
"You." He matched her smile.
"Good." She laughed. Benny matched her laugh and Beckett fell in love with this baby even more. At first she had wanted to object bringing the baby home because she didn't consider herself a baby person. But spending the night with Benny and with Castle made her a baby person. And maybe Maddie was right, maybe she did want little Castle babies.
Castle had finished walking over and Beckett handed over Benny. They figured they would feed him one more time them put him to bed. Castle held Benny while he told Beckett how to make the bottle. It wasn't as hard as Kate thought it was going to be. She brought the bottle to Castle and handed it to him. She then sat down next to him and watched as Castle gently fed Benny. Yeah, she did most definitely want little Castle babies. But would it be to dangerous? With everything going on would they be able to have a family while the person behind her mother's murder was still on the loose? Their baby would just be another liability, and she didn't want that. She didn't always want a family, but being with Castle and now having experiences with a baby and with Alexis was all she needed to convince her want a family. She wanted something to be a combination of both Castle and her, and a baby was the way to do that. Goodness, if she had a child that was her and Castle's she would be on cloud nine. Still, did the dangers outweigh the good?
"Kate," Castle asked bringing her out of her daze, "What's wrong? You look worried."
"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just tired." She replied, knowing that Castle's wouldn't buy it but also knowing that he was too smart to push right now.
"Just let me know if I can do anything, ok?" He asked trying to hide his concern, knowing she obviously could sense it from a mile away.
"Yeah." She smiled. A silence fell between them and they basked in the beauty of the little human that was Benny. Kate was switching between watching Castle and Benny every minute or so. She could definitely picture Castle holding their child, whether it be a boy or a girl.
"Do you want to try and feed him?" Castle asked meeting her gaze.
"Um...I've never fed a baby before." She said with slight shame in her tone.
"Do you want to try?"
"Sure." Beckett replied opening her arms for both Benny and the bottle. Castle helped her of course, he told her how to hold the bottle and how to support the head at the same time. After everything was set and Kate was content feeding Benny, Castle scooted a little bit closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Kate instinctively laid her head on his shoulder and sighed contently. This was so domestic and she couldn't be happier.
Slowly but surely Benny finished his bottle and Kate gently pulled it from his mouth, watching as he closed his eyes and snuggled into her side. Kate's heart swelled in her chest. She really wanted this life with Castle and she wasn't going to run from it. She realized that she wanted a life with Castle more than she had ever wanted anything else. She knew now that she wanted his babies, and she wasn't going to let her past destroy her future.
"Castle?" She whispered after they had put Benny into the crib inside their bedroom for the rest of the night.
"Yeah?" He asked putting on his night shirt.
Beckett paused. Could he really want kids with me, she thought. No. She was just thinking irrational thoughts. Or was she? She stopped her brain from going a million miles per minute and really thought. Here was this man who had been pining over her since the day she met him. He loved her with everything in him, and she did too.
"Kate?" Castle interrupted her thoughts
"Huh?" She responded slightly embarrassed.
"You were going to tell me something."
"Oh, right..." she trailed off.
Castle gave her the time to feel confident in asking her question. He waited quite a bit. Of course he didn't mind at all, he would wait forever if he had to.
"Rick...do you wanna have a baby?" Kate said biting her lip waiting for his response.
Castle responded a little late processing the information. Once the initial shock got out of his system, a smile as big as could be bloomed on his face and he ran over to her squealing and picked her up and spun her around. Kate squealed too and soon they were laughing and smiling like idiots. He set he down once they heard Benny whine in his sleep, both of them scared that they had woken him up. But they had not. They then locked eyes again and and smiled even brighter. He pulled her in and hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear and 'I love you'. When they pulled apart she leaned in and connected their lips.
He placed his hand on the small of her back and she interlocked her hands behind his neck. She kissed him passionately. They were going to try. Try and have a family. Sure things weren't always going to go smoothly and there may be bumps in the road but overall the outcome would be a child. Or children. Yeah, she liked the sound of children. Her heart swelled as he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and bit it softly. He then ran his tongue over to soothe the tingle. She played with the hem of his night shit wanting to pull it over his head and devour him then and there. But she didn't. There was Benny. She slowed the kiss down and heard Castle mumble a complaint into her mouth. She pulled away and when she opened her eyes Castle's face was in a pout. She giggled to herself before nudging him slightly.
"Why'd we stop?" He whined. Beckett gave him an empathetic smile and nodded towards Benny, "Oh." he finished.
"Once we reunite Benny back with his family we can have all the sex you want. Alright?" She quietly laughed.
"You know I'm going to take that and run with it." He confessed.
"I know." She smiled. A moment of silence fell between them, just to two of them staring lovingly into each other's eyes. They were content and they were happy, and soon they would have a child on the way.
"What do you say we get ready for bed and cuddle together for warmth during these cold days?" He smirked, just wanting an excuse to be close to her.
"Sure, I'd like that." She returned with a soft laugh. As she turned to walk towards the dresser she felt arms wrap around her middle and a soft kiss behind her ear.
"Yes?" She asked smiling to herself as she opened the drawer.
"I just love you so much. I'm so happy that we're going to make a baby." He softly spoke.
"Me too, babe. Me too." She leaned forward kissing her chastely. Once the kiss ended Castle walked over to check on Benny while Beckett change into her night clothes. They switched places once she was dressed. Once Castle got dressed they curled up in bed in each other's arms.
Their sleep was cut short when at 1:30 in the morning Benny started crying. Beckett was the first to wake, sitting straight up while Castle groaned, obviously having flashbacks to when Alexis was a baby. Kate hurried over to where Benny was sleeping and picked him up bouncing slightly to try and calm him down. But he kept crying. Kate was getting flustered at her inability to calm Benny down, so she turned her head toward Castle for assistance. He was by her side just like that and swiftly they switched Benny from Kate to Castle. Castle tried bouncing the baby boy as well, but to no avail. He then lifted Benny up above his head and talked sweetly to him, saying things like, 'who's a sweet boy' and 'calm down you little bean.' He bounced while he did this and Benny calmed down a little bit. Castle then lowered Benny and cradled him in his arms. He then gently swayed back and forth and soon Benny's cries came to an end and he gurgled softly before closing his eyes and drifting back into the world of dreams. Castle laid Benny back down and turned to Kate, who seemed to be on the verge of tears.
"What's wrong?" He asked walking over to her and taking her hands in his.
"Just-I don't know, I-I'm going to be a horrible mother." She cried tears rolling down her cheeks.
"What? Why would you think that?"
"Because I look at you and you seem to know the right thing to do and when to do it, and I don't. I-I can't." She wiped at her tears.
"Kate, honey, you need to remember that I've done this before, with Alexis. If you would've seen me, I had no idea what I was doing." He comforted.
"I just don't want-I don't know if I want to do this anymore." She cried harder.
"What? You mean try and have a baby?" Rick asked, seeming hurt and somewhat offended.
"I don't know."
"Do you genuinely not know, or do you just not want to tell me?"
"It's neither of those, "She sniffled, "I'm just scared that if we do have a baby, they'll grow up to resent me. That they'll think I wasn't around enough, that I wasn't giving them enough love, everything. But I want it with you so bad, Rick. I want to have a family with you."
Castle brought her in against his chest and let her cry, he let her get out all of her emotions. Once she calmed down quite a bit, Castle spoke once more, "Tonight, just tonight. I've seen you improve. I mean when we first got Benny, you told me that you weren't a baby person. But just over the course of the night, I've seen you feed him and more. You're doing great for never having done this before. Don't negate the positives. Believe in yourself, because I believe in you, so much."
Kate raised her head from his chest and looked to him with red eyes, "Thank you," she said, "For dealing with me and why craziness."
"You're not crazy, you're just new to the world of parenting and that's ok. There's no one that gets it right on the first time, I just got lucky with Alexis."
She giggled. She then leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. He kissed her back and soon they both went back to bed, Kate curling up on Castle's chest, Castle wrapping his arms protectively around her. They fell asleep like that, and there were no more interruptions that night. And then when morning came they would deal with morning, but for now they were enjoying their time together.
:)