I am going to be talking about Christian Dating because I feel like a lot of people get confused with this or don't talk about it.
The book that I put as the image is a book about dating that I am currently reading and it is about a guy who stopped dating to live a life for God. This book does not encourage people to stop dating but talks about how Christians should date and I love it because it has given me a new perspective on dating as well and to become a better boyfriend myself and to love my girlfriend more. I will be talking about dating from the book and what God wants us to do.
Philippians 1:9-10 says "And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ". Our love should grow and deepen with knowledge and understanding so that we can know what is best for us.
A little principle to remember is: The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. Intimacy means being close to someone and we all want that. When we are younger, dating is short term and it serves our needs for the moment. Most of our dating relationships lack a purpose. We date to have the emotional and physical benefits of intimacy but we do not have the responsibility for commitment.
Proverbs 3:3 says "Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart". The little relationship principle is an important aspect of true love. God wants love and faithfulness to be connected. In God's plan, the personal benefits of an intimate relationship are always closely linked to commitment to another person's long-term good.
Intimacy without commitment contradicts what the Bible teaches about true love. Instead of being selfless, it's selfish; instead of being patient, it's impatient; instead of looking out for the ongoing good of the other person, it's focused on the needs of the moment which is why the rule is so important. We need to wait on romance until we can match pursuit of intimacy with the pursuit of commitment.
The problem with dating is our wrong attitudes and values. The premise of dating is "I'm attracted to you; let's get to know each other". While the premise of friendship is "we are interested in the same things; lets enjoy these common interests together". It's important to start with a friendship first so you'd at least know that you'd want to date this person and get to know the person better. So many people base relationships only on physical attraction and romantic feelings so if a person were to do that the attraction and romantic feelings would last only as long as the feelings last.
Many people including Christians have a false mindset that physical attraction and sexual intimacy is true love. We are focusing on the demands of the present. We don't look at our significant other as a life partner. If people focus on the demands of the present, a person's physical relationship can become the focus. Many people think that the seriousness of their relationship is by the level of physical involvement. If we only focus on the physical involvement in our relationship, it can distort two people's perspective on each other and can lead to unwise choices. We will carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. God does not want us to live with guilt or regret which is why he WARNS us!
Another false mindset I feel like a lot of people have is that we can't chose who we love. When we are in love, we are CHOSING to love that person. If we can fall in love we can fall out of love as well. Jesus died on the cross for us but he didn't have to. He did it out of love and because he chose to. So that means we have the ability to chose who we want to be with and who to love. One thing I didn't really think about until now is that when we date someone it gives us the chance to love someone just as Jesus has loved us. God's love on the cross is an example to love others and the love he has for us.
Honestly I hate how dating is portrayed today. There is a difference between Christian Dating and the World's way of dating. I'm in high school so I do not know everything about dating but the one thing I hate is how so many people take no time for the commitment part of dating. Most high school relationships don't last long because people aren't ready to make a commitment and most people do it just because they like it or they do it to fill their own sexual desires.
I was lucky enough to find a girlfriend that God gave to me. I never really dated before and never had an understanding of dating but looking back at it now I knew God had a plan and still does. I loved this person for 8 months and I still do because I made a COMMITMENT to love her. I don't see her as just another girl. I see her as the girl that God gave to me and that God wanted me to be with. Having intimacy in the relationship is good and I love being close to her but I also love the commitment part. To me personally, the commitment is the best thing I could have because it shows that the person is willing to stay with you no matter what. It's better than anything "we think" the person can give us. I'm not forced to love her. I love her because I chose to and the amazing thing is the more I love and follow God the more I love others and I love her more and more everyday (You know who you are). I don't know what will happen next but I know to trust God and if he has provided me with "the one" he will show me.
I could go on and on about dating but I think this is enough and I have made my point. I really advise anyone to get this book because this was a VERY SMALL part of what it talks about and it has really helped me. If you guys have any topics you want me to talk about put them in the comments below and I will try to do them! Thanks for all the support!