B E L L A
Four years ago, my childhood friend made a decision that was the very definition of 'sacrifice'. It was rare to see a young person to choose such a selfless option when there were easier choices.
Choices. Plural.
But then again, Ryder Black was a fucking idiot.
I got to know him when we were children, because his parents had always brought him to his grandmother's house every summer. He was a-okay, if not a little too guarded and quiet for someone who had a really great bone structure. I mean, if he had attempted to be nicer or friendlier or even smiled a bit more, he would have been a ruler in every place he went. He had that charisma, and his looks definitely put him above his brasher, louder contenders.
But then Ryder Black was a fucking idiot, because he couldn't care less about reputation, or popularity, and decided that shoving off the biggest bully of the Yard had been the best way to start his first summer at Greenville.
That was when he had been a thin, bony, snot-nosed kid of 10 years old.
Of course, the big bully had obliterated his ass that day, and even though bloodied and bruised here and there, young Ryder Black had played it cool. As if that dirt he had been forced to eat had tasted like Royce chocolate.
When Ryder had came back a year later, he had shot up 7 inches and added pounds and pounds of muscles. He had beat that fattened bully right up and crowned 'King of the Yard'. Of course, being an antisocial idiot that he was, he never showed up on the yard again, and abandoned his throne (which I had gleefully taken).
Later, I found out that the only reason Ryder had gone against his survival instinct and shoved the bully at the first place was because the bully had taken away my barbie doll. That idiotic excuse of a man then put his scrawny ass on the line just because he couldn't bear seeing an immigrant stranger being treated unfairly.
My childhood friend is a fucking idiot. And a bit of a racist.
Fast forward years later, I still have trouble staying away from nasty men, but Ryder's life had changed for the better. He had finally moved on from toxic relationships and had looked happy, content even, with life.
The reason was that mumbling, straight-haired girl named April Hale.
April Hale wasn't your usual charmer, that's for sure. She didn't know how to say the right things or even the right outfit to wear when she was going to meet her boyfriend's intimidating childhood friend (me! I meant me! I'm not gonna sugarcoat it; I'm pretty intimidating because I've got the looks and the sass, yo!).
But she made Ryder happy, and that was good enough for me. I usually didn't approve of his taste in women. Ryder had the looks that could make Victoria Secret models make an idiot of themselves just to impress him, but he never used his charms for any good measures. Instead of hot blondes or stupid bimbos, he went for old ladies or shady-looking women.
Because Ryder Black is a fucking idiot.
He had found his Happiness Source, and he had found the person whom he would die for. But in the end, he hurt her and dumped her because he 'wanted to protect her'.
His words, not mine.
I still couldn't believe it. When he had came to me, face looking like Chris Pine in between takes, he had blurted out all of his problems. Which included people he never thought he would have to deal with anymore. Which sounded potentially dangerous, yes, but then again, wasn't the purpose of a partner is to accompany you when things get hard? Why didn't he give April a chance to prove herself? Why didn't he give April a chance to stay beside him despite all of his problems?
Why didn't he give himself a chance to be happy, for once?
There were sooooo many routes Ryder could have taken. He could have long distance. He could have pretend for April and him to break up. He could stay and look for other ways. Other jobs. He could have gone back to his old ways of selling weed and fight his way for money.
Instead, he just went and crushed the heart of the person he loved the most.
Because he 'wanted to protect her'. His words, not mine.
Ryder Black is a certified fucking idiot, indeed.
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2.23: What kind of living arrangement that won't drive me insane?
"I don't ever want to see any of your face again!" was the last words that I'd heard before Audra slammed that white-painted door in front of my face, and everybody else's faces.
It would have been dramatic, if only Audra's hadn't installed a door-stopper that would make slamming it impossible. As if the climax wasn't loud enough, Audra managed to crash some plates just before the door was fully closed.
"Oh, well," Quentin. "So that's it. I'm not gonna be laid for the rest of my life."
I could hear the other two guys groaned.
"Is that seriously what you're thinking right now? Getting your dick wet?" He said.
"Seems like you haven't upgraded your vocabulary," Alex sighed. "Pity, especially if you're really planning to have your own youtube channel."
"I told you, I never wanted to have any collab with any youtuber or even be in any video!" He was practically shaking with anger right now. "That manifestation of a banshee forced me!"
"And I just hit a girl," there was also tremor on Quentin's pronunciation, and he raised both of his hands before then started to make a really good impersonation of Popeye's face. "Oh my God my mom will kill me!"
With me included, there were three shaking people in front of Audra's apartment right now.
"I like that we're all low-key burning calories right now," I said, amused because even though I didn't know where to sleep today, I could be sharing this unorthodox moment with my closest people.
"Where are you going to sleep, April?" Alex finally brought me back from my reverie.
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An hour later, the four of us were staring at an honestly scary looking apartment located on the K-town of the city. The old granny on the front lobby told us that Bella Yen was living on floor 3. Between her coughing fit and her incessant smoking, I really hoped that the old granny wouldn't die before we finished our business in Bella's place.
"That girl is bad-luck (cough) I tell you!" the old granny were in the middle of screaming/coughing/dying when Alex grabbed both of my shoulders from behind and pushed me to the stairs.
"Shit, I can benchpress double my weight, but this place gives me the creeps," my brother said as he hugged himself. We bypassed a middle-aged woman on our way up, and somehow she managed to tap at Quentin's butt while looking straight ahead. "I feel violated."
"I never knew that Bella's living in this kind of place," Alex said.
That Guy stayed quiet, although his expression betrayed his indifferent pretense. After all, I remembered that Bella was his childhood friend.
"Bella will be okay," I said to no one in particular. I tried to rack up my memories about Bella's stellar ability to intimidate people and they all came flooding back. "Bella is scarier than that pervert lady and if she's still able to survive until now, then she must be able to do a little bit of karate or Kungfu."
"Yeah, so does every single asian who lives in this place," Quentin said. There was a pause as the three of us stared at him, before he opened his mouth again. "It's a joke. It's just a joke."
"You are one fucking bitch!" there was a male voice screaming from behind Bella's door.
"You're so toxic! I can't believe I thought I was in love with you for months! You led me on, you bitch!"
The door literally broke open as a man kicked it away, the thin wood of the door barely hanging on the hinge as the jambs had been broken the moment the man stalked away from Bella's apartment.
"Hey, you broke my fucking door, old man!" Bella was shouting back at him. "I'll send the bills to your wife!"
"Don't you dare!" the man shouted back. He was definitely older than the rest of us, and he had a few gray hairs that went loose from his otherwise neatly combed brown hair. He was tall, strapping, and had shoulders as wide as the whole height of a pre-teen girl. The potbelly on his midsection gave him a sense of his age, though, and the wrinkles around his eyes deepened as he screamed (and involuntarily spitting on Bella's doorway) to the silver-haired girl inside.
It took the man a few seconds before he actually realized that he had an audience.
"Three men?" he was saying as he took in That Guy, Alex, and Quentin. "And a girl?"
"Hello," I managed to squeak, just because it was polite. "How do you do?"
"What the hell, Bella? I thought that I'm your Wednesday! You have other people other than me on your Wednesdays?! Well, fuck you!"
He stalked off the hallway and descended the stairs in long strides.
"Is he like me? I have certain things to do and eat on Wednesdays, too." I asked Bella.
Bella held up her hand and laughed. "Let's not corrupt her today." Her hair was up in a ponytail and there were mascara smudges under her eyes. Nevertheless, she still looked like she belonged in a CW tv-show. You know, as the hot, slightly deranged second female lead.
Bella walked to the four of us, opening the now-broken door and pushed it down so that the wood was completely off its hinges.
"So what's with the surprise visit? Are we having an intervention about my taste in married men?"
"That's actually a good idea, why haven't we done this before?" Alex deadpanned.
"Oh my God, Ryder, you're here?!" Bella's eyes widened as she took in That Guy's presence. "Are you for real? Someone hit him in the head so that I know that he's not my imagination!"
"Already hit him twice today," Quentin shrugged.
"I refuse to be a barbarian," Alex responded.
"And I'm not ready to touch him," I said. "Can you see that I'm keeping a minimum distance of two meters away from him?"
Bella laughed and then pounded on His shoulder hard. "You guys are all pussies."
"Hi," there was a weak smile as He waved his hand. "Still making bad life choices, huh?"
"That one wanted to be my main dude," Bella intoned lightly. "I don't want to have a main-dude while I'm trying to break into the acting biz."
"I told you, you can always start a youtube channel just like Audra," I said, remembering Audra's success with her many endorsers and sponsors.
"Ugh. Not everybody has the funds to afford all that equipments and lightings. Plus, I don't like acting all smiley and happy when all I want to say is a string of four-letter-words."
"Like 'love', I hope," Alex chuckled.
"Yeah. Exactly like 'fuck'," Bella shot back. "So what, the wood celeb's back in town and y'all want me to participate in a public beating of him?"
"I'm sure you guys would love that," That Guy rolled his eyes. "But no. We're here because April gets kicked out by Audra."
There was a quiet moment in which Bella took in His words. I could practically see her brain cells whirring and turning via her eyes, which darted back and forth between me, Him, and the now blank doorway.
"Oh my God! It's finally happened!" she squealed so hard and then reached to the refrigerator. "I need to celebrate with a shot. Who wants one?"
Alex immediately stepped inside the house as a gesture of wanting his share of alcoholic beverage. Bella and Alex clinked their glasses after they poured an obscene amount of vodka towards a tall glass and drank it straight. My throat hurt just watching them.
"I'm so happy for you, April! You finally get rid of that soul-sucking bitch!" Bella hugged me and filled my area of breathing with vodka smell.
"Technically, she got rid of me. But yeah, it feels kind of great."
"So you want to stay here? My apartment's only got one room, but we can share. Sometimes I might ask you to move to the couch, though, if you're okay."
"Ye-"
My 'yes' were interrupted with variations of 'NO NO NO NO'.
"Sorry, Bella, but I don't think April will last a day here without getting her mind blown. And I mean literally," Alex was the first to voice his concerns.
"I don't know how you manage to live here and not get... you know, pregnant or crazy," my brother still thrived on being his usual insensitive side.
"Who says I'm not crazy?" Bella smirked, and that managed to put a blush on Quentin's cheeks. This was one of Bella's superpowers: reduce men into blubbering mess whenever she wanted to.
"I never knew about your living condition, too," He added quietly. "Is that a mouse?"
Bella seemed unperturbed with the mouse stealing from her bowl of food and just slightly shrugged one shoulder. "Tried to kill them but they keep coming. I'll just live with them and be friends."
"That's it. Both of you will live in my apartment," He announced.
"Wait, what?!" I couldn't stop my eyes from blinking repeatedly. "No-no-no-no, your notes were cute, but I don't think I can handle seeing you all the time."
"Well, is there any other option? Audrey won't take you back, and obviously you can't live here," he shot me a look that nearly incapacitated my ability to think with proper logic. "You, too, Bella."
"Well, if I can live somewhere rent-free, then why not?" Bella was fast as she went to her room and then showed up with two duffel bags. "I tell you, I'm not ashamed to be a freeloader."
"Whoa-whoa, you broke my sister, and then you want her to move in with you?" Quentin grabbed Him by the collar. "Do you want to die?!"
"Can she stay at your place?" He asked.
The amount of time that Quentin put before he replied was enough answer. I knew that Quentin would be too busy, and not only that, he had a lot of guy friends who would come around to 'strengthen their bonds'. His place was the ultimate Man Cave, and to have me, a creature with uterus, would meant catastrophy.
"What do you think?" His voice startled me. He was staring at me, his face beguiling me. I could hear a plea when he spoke. "There are two bedrooms in my apartment. I can take the couch and you two take the bedrooms. I'll stay out in the workshop most of the time so you won't be seeing me anyways."
"That... seemed like a good deal, actually," Quentin started to consider it. "I didn't know that you've been back here for a while."
"It's for a job," He said quickly, although I didn't miss the way He shot Bella a glance, and Bella glared at him right back.
"I hope it's a safe one," Bella whispered darkly.
"I wouldn't be inviting anyone if it weren't safe," there was so much emphasis on the word safe.
Alex said nothing in the whole discussion and only downed more alcohol.
That Guy sighed and then bit his lower lips before finally words came out from his mouth. "This is the least I can do. You know, for making you get kicked out. For making you lost your job. Just for a while, until you find your own place. I'm not even gonna try anything with you. I swear."
You know when sometimes you do certain things despite your whole system is screaming at you 'WARNING, DO NOT PROCEED!'? You knew that this thing could potentially break you or even worse, but you wanted to prod more, you wanted to explore more. You didn't even know where this crazy notion started, but once you gave in to the impulse, once you fed the demon, it wouldn't stop moaning for more fodder.
Staying with the person who broke my heart years ago was the perfect fodder for my inner Jabba.
And so, I said, "Just promise me something."
"Anything."
"When I'm ready for bear-hugs, please give me one whenever I ask for it. You gave me the Teddy Bears, but you still owed a lot."
There was a smile I had missed and loved.
"Sure."
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this was a hard chapter to write, especially since it's a transtitional chapter. :)the next chapter is much sweeter, though. you can find it on radish, since i just updated there, too. :) it'll help me out a lot. and by the way, two of my latest chapters seemed to spur a loooot of debate. I hope that you can keep it cool on the comment section and not fight each other. when i wrote about Audra and Quentin's POVs, it's to provide an insight to their character. in a way, it's great that people have different opinions about Audra and sympathize with her, but please do it respectfully and keep it classy! dont forget to comment and vote, guys. they're my crack!
also, i'm doing camp nano on july with a new series. it's going to be a light-hearted teen fiction (another cliche with a twist yay). it's about a quiet girl with a dark past, and a new guy with a dangerous background. the theme is 'fake-dating'. the title is 'The Pretend Girlfriend' (i suck at making titles ha.) follow me so that you can get updates when i'm starting to upload this on july :)
cat logging out! (for now)