Something Carlie said had struck me. It seemed like calling her had actually knocked some sense into me the way I'd hoped it would.
"What other excuses are you using to turn them down?" Carlie's words repeated in my head over and over.
She was right. I'd been so convinced that I'd lose some friends or the job wouldn't work out or something bad would happen, I hadn't realized I wasn't giving myself a fair chance. I'd worked hard for an opportunity like this and I highly doubted it would come around again.
I couldn't worry too much about things with Alec since we'd be working at the same company, in the same city. I couldn't lose him to distance. Carlie had made it pretty damn clear that I was fretting for nothing when it came to holding onto friendships. Social media was an extremely powerful tool. She was right. I just had to keep in touch and occasionally visit. I'd miss everyone but we'd still see each other. It was a small price to pay for an opportunity that could skyrocket my career in ways Abernathy Advertisements would never be able to. And let's be honest, I'd hate working with Chase and Darin.
It made sense. Choosing Clearwater made all the sense in the world. Especially with their incredibly generous offer. How could I refuse? My only concern now was what I'd do if the job didn't work out, but I was quickly talking myself into taking the risk anyway.
"You're not overthinking again, are you?" Alec chuckled, running a comb through the back of his hair.
I'd been staring out the windows at the city, my mind a whirlwind while I contemplated my decision. I'd barely noticed the sound of the door closing when Alec had left or when he'd returned with a large pizza and a two-liter Coke bottle a few minutes ago.
"I think I've made my decision," I said, turning to face him.
"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow, tossing the comb on a nightstand. "What's the verdict?"
I breathed a heavy sigh and pulled him into a hug, instantly falling more in love with the feeling of his strong arms wrapping around me. I felt safe, protected. And it didn't hurt that he smelled like peppermints.
"What's this for?" Alec asked with a soft laugh, rubbing his palm up and down my upper arm.
"For talking me into coming here and giving the idea a chance." I smiled against his chest. "I've decided to take the job with Clearwater."
"What?" Alec grabbed my shoulders, pushing me an arm's length away and scanning over my face and body as if he was making sure I was still the same overthinking girl he'd come to Seattle with. "Are you serious? Really?"
A hopeful grin splayed across his face, and his eyes, also lit up with hopefulness, sparkled in anticipation of my confirmation.
I nodded fervently, unable to hold back from tugging his body against mine and kissing him urgently, passionately. His hands slid down my back until I felt them squeezing my ass. He held me tightly against the hard lump in his jeans while he stepped backwards, eventually pulling me down on top of him when he collapsed onto the bed. We continued to make out until we were both out of breath and I sat up, straddling his lap with my knees digging into the mattress.
Alec flashed me an alluring smile, letting his hands rest on my thighs.
"Really," I finally said, trying to catch my breath.
It felt like it had taken a lifetime to make this decision. I could see so much happiness and excitement in Alec's eyes and it caused a warmth to envelop my body while I watched him, staring into his eyes like the bliss within them held all the answers to every question I could ever ask. Being so close to him felt like home. It felt like I belonged in his arms.
I was no longer worried about how I'd handle things if my employment with Clearwater didn't last. Somehow I knew that Alec would take care of me if need be. I was sure I could depend on him for anything. I knew I was making the right choice and I was glad he was going to be along for the ride.
"I'm happy for you," he said sincerely, giving my thighs a gentle squeeze.
I climbed off of him, rolling onto my back and taking him with me. Smiling up at him, I linked my arms around his neck while I played with the back of his silky hair. I could feel his soft breath on my face and longed to kiss him again, tugging at his shirt collar to bring him closer.
"I'm happy for us," I whispered, gazing up at him while I pressed a kiss to his collarbone.
The corners of his mouth turned up just slightly and he placed an openmouthed kiss on my forehead, lingering a moment and running his fingers through my hair.
"I heard what Carlie said earlier," he mumbled against my skin. "About you and me."
Discomfort panged my nerves at the sound of his words but I said nothing, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't speak again, I was forced to respond.
"What about it?" I frowned, twisting a few strands of his hair around my index finger.
He shrugged and shifted to rest his weight on one forearm, lazily watching me play with his bangs. "I guess it got me thinking."
So Carlie's words had struck more than just me. She really did have a way of getting through thick heads.
"About what?"
Alec shook his head, shooing my hand from his hair. His eyes darted around the room to find something else to devote his attention to. It was obvious he was becoming uncomfortable and I was pretty sure I knew why.
"Alec?"
His eyes met mine again in a heated stare until he finally answered me. "We've got a good thing going, right?"
My brows drew inward. "What? The sex?"
He shifted again. "I don't know. Yeah. I guess."
I didn't know what to say to that. "I guess. Why? What about it?"
He looked like he was about to say something but dismissed it with a wave of his hand. He flopped onto his back and we lay there in silence, both of us staring holes through the ceiling until I couldn't take it anymore.
I sat up on the edge of the bed and turned sideways to face him. Was I really about to do this? My nerves were rattling with anxiety over how he might react but I was already on a decent roll throwing caution to the wind today. Why not keep it going?
"Alec, I've been thinking about us a lot lately," I confessed. A tightness was settling in my throat. "I've realized a few things over the last few weeks."
He'd folded his arms behind his head and he was stealing glances at me while I spoke. I felt like I was in the midst of some awkward audition for a play.
Maybe I shouldn't do this, I thought. But then I reminded myself that I'd feel a lot better once I got it off my chest. I had to tell him. My heart and mind had finally found something to agree on and my body was yearning for me to spit it out.
"What?" he asked with curious eyes.
"It meant a lot to me when you made sure Sean Ashworth got that disc. It still means a lot," I began, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
He'd propped himself up on his elbows by now, watching me intently. It felt like there was a giant microscope focused on me, like I was being scrutinized. I ignored that thought and continued.
"It hasn't been that long that we've been getting along, but I feel like we've become so close," I told him. His eyes seemed to brighten as I went on. "You don't know how much I appreciate your encouragement in coming out here and talking to Clearwater. I was ready to say no and settle for Abernathy or maybe something shittier if you hadn't given me the push I needed. Despite our vast differences and everything that's made us rivals in the past, you keep supporting me and giving me that extra nudge I don't realize I need."
This was starting to sound like a thank you speech at an award show. I needed to shift the conversation if I was going to tell him what was really weighing on my mind.
"Alec, I... As you know, I have a tendency to overthink everything," I said, earning a soft chuckle from him. "I do that because I always want to make sure I'm making the best decision. I don't want to jump headfirst into something without analyzing every possible outcome."
"Believe me. I know," he smiled, nodding.
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and I felt sparks shoot up my arm.
I shook my head. "This isn't going how I hoped it would. I don't know how to put what I'm thinking into words."
He frowned, sitting up beside me. "What's bothering you, Bree? Talk to me."
Just say it! I mentally yelled at myself.
"Alec, I don't have to overthink this time," I forced myself to continue. "It's not a hard decision and I'm not concerned about the outcome. I want what makes me happy and what makes you happy and that's all I really care about right now. I'm not going to overthink it. I won't let myself."
"Hey. Come on," he said in a soft voice, pulling me onto his lap. "What are you talking about? You make me happy. I'm happy right now. What's this all about?"
I looked at my hands folded in my lap to avoid his gaze. I was tempted to shrug the whole conversation off, feeling an ounce of discouragement creep up my skin. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to say this.
"Alec, I'm falling in love with you."
I said it so fast, I wasn't sure he even understood my words at first. I felt the rush of all the oxygen leaving my lungs and what seemed like my entire body flushing at the shock of my own admission. I couldn't look at him. So much for not being scared of the outcome.
There was a long silence between us. At first, I thought I might have just scared him out of that potential relationship idea he'd mentioned recently. We still hadn't addressed that. Then I was worried he might be mad. I'd seen Alec's angry side a few times when he felt like he was being backed into a corner and I hoped I hadn't made him feel that way now.
I finally peeked up at him from the curtain of my hair that I'd been using to hide behind. He didn't look mad or apprehensive or scared at all. He was staring down at me with widened eyes but the beginnings of a smile were inching across his lips.
"A-Alec?" I choked on his name, clearing my throat loudly. Damn that nervous lump.
He nodded slowly, the smile spreading equally as slowly.
"You're not... upset... are you?" I asked tentatively.
He shook his head but still didn't say anything. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed at it, glancing down at the floor before meeting my gaze again. Suddenly his face became very serious.
"No. I'm not," he said with a tightness in his voice. "I just wish I'd had the balls to say it first."
That dazzling grin broke out in full force and his cheeks reddened briefly. I'd never seen him nervous like this and all I could think was how adorable and sexy it was at the same time.
"Bree, I've found myself quickly falling for you this entire time," he confessed. "I just hadn't gotten up the nerve to say anything yet."
"So I beat you to it," I breathed.
He laughed, full and happily. "Yeah. Yeah, you did."
I relaxed against his chest and his arms wrapped around my midsection, pressing my body tighter against his. I smiled up at him and he pressed his lips to mine in a slow, passionate kiss that ignited every nerve ending in my body and sent my senses ablaze, quite literally taking my breath away.
"So where does this put us now?" I asked when we finally separated, breathless.
Alec smirked. "Well, I did tell you I wanted to give us a try. What do you say?"