nineteen
1 week later
Day 8 of Conversion Therapy
No one kept their promise.
There were only 3 of us left. Reagan, Rahul, and I. I've been forcing Reagan to stay, I've even seen her outside of the sessions. Nathan and Matt killed themselves, and Kenzie and Peyton left on the 4th day.
I couldn't help but think that Nathan and Matt killing themselves was my fault. I couldn't talk them out of it. They felt miserable. I guess they had a reason. I knew that their parents would never let them back together after the therapy lessons were over. So, what was the point of living without your soulmate?
Kenzie and Peyton were already planning on leaving. The therapy was getting worse day by day, mainly teaching us how to hate ourselves. Apparently, the LGBT rug was still there because we had to learn to hate it.
I tried my best not to cry everyday at dinner. I barely touched my food, especially the day Nathan and Matt died. It was even harder concentrating on exams after that. Thank god they were over.
Eva and Mom were concerned, I bet. I just didn't want to talk about it. I hardly even talked to Pillar, either. I could tell she knew the therapy was becoming worse.
There were 8 of us left. 3 from Gay, 1 from Bisexual, 2 from Transgender and 2 from Aesexual.
It was hard to believe that we lost 27 people in just 8 days. It was awful how I witnessed at least 18 suicides in just a week. I tried helping a few people, but it was no use.
The 8 of us were currently at the end of the session. We barely paid attention anymore. Every one looked miserable and broken.
Who'd send their own child here? I think, my heart breaking.
The worst part about this entire therapy, was that nothing changed for me sexuality wise. The most I've learned was to hate myself.
I looked over my shoulder, to see Reagan with a water bottle in her hand, and about 10 pills in her other.
"No!" I grunt, trying my best to get the water from out of her hand. She fought back, clutching her other hand to prevent me from knocking the pills out. "I can't let you die!"
"What's the point of living anymore, though?" Reagan sighed, still fighting for her water.
"Everything-"
"Janelle, look around you! It's only been a week and half of us have died, while the rest left! I don't know how we're still here, or why! The 8 of us haven't committed, because for most of them it's w-working!" Reagan started to cry, and I lost my grip on the bottle somehow.
"The fact," Dr. Morgan interrupted us, "That most of you committed is just a sign of completion. That the therapy worked."
I blink to keep myself from crying, "Shut the fuck up!"
Dr. Morgan and I go back and forth for at least 20 seconds, then I hear the sound of a bottle crunching over my shoulder. There I see a near-death Reagan sipping the last sip of her water bottle.
"NO! Reagan!" I scream, shaking her. She already looked pale, and her face expression was neutral.
"It...It was.. for the best....Goodbye."
"NO!" I scream again, "NO! NO!"
I feel Rahul's arm pulling me away from Reagan, as I scream more.
"I'm going to need a paramedic. One more gone." I hear Dr. Johnson say into the phone, with no type of tone in her voice.
"You son of a bitch!" I scream, walking over to her, but Rahul pulled me away once again. "You let all those people die! You're just pathetic! Fuckin' pathetic! You two don't give a shit about anyone, just the fact that you make money is all you need! You're sick! I hate you both so much!" I start to cry, as my voice begins to strain.
"There, there, Janelle." Rahul pulls me into a hug.
"I w-wanna go home." Is all I say, crying into his shoulder.
"It's okay, the session for today is over." He assures me, as I make my way over to the couch Reagan and I always sat on.
"Reagan..." I say, a tear dropping on her cheek. I never thought I'd be the one crying. It reminded me of the first day we met. Her, sitting on the couch crying, with no one to hold her. Now I was the one in that position.
It's crazy how much you can learn from a person in 8 days. We hung out for 6 of them, even if we were miserable. Reagan loved to play softball, her favorite food was margarita pizza. She loved to fiddle with the charm bracelet she got from her grandmother, who accepted her for who she was, but passed a week later.
More tears stain her white shirt. I couldn't stop crying. It was absolutely awful seeing her gone.
"The paramedics are here," I hear Rahul cough out. I turn to see the 2 broad men dressed in black waiting for me to move. I finally stand up, grabbing my purse, and running out the door.
Not even caring to wait for the elevators, I run down all the stairs quickly, accidentally passing the receptionist desk.
"I-I'm sorry." I walk back into the building. "I forgot t-to check o-out."
"It's okay," Mrs. Viétnem, the receptionist, smiles sympathetically at me. "I checked out for you. Have a nice day, Brooks."
I nod, and walk slowly back out the doors. It was good I remembered to park in the front, I didn't want people in the parking lot to see me crying.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, how was school?" Eva asks, as she opens up the door for me.
"Yeah, great, s-see you later." I run straight to my room, slamming the door shut, and throwing myself onto the bed.
There, I cried into my pillow. I cried because of Reagan. I cried because of Nathan and Matt. I cried because of all of the people I couldn't save.
"I'm a fucking failure! I'm so fucking useless! I couldn't even save someone that was right next to me! I'm just a weak little bitch who couldn't just accept themselves because it's 'abnornal'. Ugh, I hate myself! I fuck everything up!" I scream, not caring who heard me. The violent scream sobs became worse, and I losing my voice.
Not like I need it, no one wants to hear my bullshit anyways.
-------
Eva's POV
(yeet bitch you weren't expecting that.)
Janelle cried in her room for Lord knows how long. I sat by her door, trying to figure out what all of what she screaming about meant. Then, of course, it hit me. Conversion therapy.
Oh course she went there! That explains why she always got home so late, and never said a word at dinner. She was probably too traumatized to say anything.
"I can't let my baby sister continue to think like this," I mumble, getting up and going to my room. "Let's see who I could call.."
I scrolled through my phone, trying to find a person I knew would help Janelle. Alyssa, Grace and Nick weren't exactly the best to call, she didn't even talk to them anymore. Now that I thought about it, she barely talked to anyone anymore.
Then it hit me. Jade! She was gay, and Janelle was surely fond of her. I'm not so sure what happened between them, but I hoped she could do something. She was my only hope.
I called her, and she answered on the third ring. "Hello? Eva?"
"Yes, it's me. I have to talk to you about something really important."
"Alright. What's going on?" She asks concerned.
"It's about Janelle. For the past week, she's been acting really odd. She's actually been crying and not talking most of the time. I found out what's been going on, she's been going to conversion therapy." I explain, tapping my foot rapidly.
I hear a sharp gasp come from the line. "Holy shit! Okay, I've seen her in the hallways and her friends have too, and she's looked so different. So...sad and miserable looking." I hear Jade's voice break for a moment.
"I need your help. She can't go there anymore. I bet she's seen so much, she went on about not being able to save some people. My guess is that she seen suicides happen."
"Alright, oh my god," Jade sighs deeply, "Okay. Find the address to the place, I'll be there tomorrow for her next session. I'm gonna tell you the rest via text, I have to go now."
"Okay, Jade. Thank you so much." I sigh of relief.
"No problem, Eva. I never stopped liking Janelle, even if she stopped liking me." And she hung up.
Fuckin' adorable!
~~~~~~~~~
a/n: I'm so sorry I switched POVS in the middle of a chapter, but at least I didn't keep switching back. I just needed to show Eva's point of view and plan. Because next chapter is gonna be really good.
#TeamJadelleForLife my hoes
Word Count: 1534