A/N: I’m dedicating this chapter to iloverain94. Thank you so much for voting and leaving all those lengthy comments ♥
*****
Alice’s POV
“How was he able to win that thing anyway?” Keegan asked once he’d returned to us. He was out of breath and fuming so I guessed he’d been unable to catch Skyler. The male Miller twin was nowhere to be seen.
“Dad took us to a shooting range once when we were kids and Sky got really hooked up,” Beth started to explain in between taking nibbles of her pink cotton candy. “There was a time when he’d spent at least three hours a day in that place so naturally he became quite good at it.”
“And you didn’t think you could’ve warned me about that?” Kee resented, rubbing his chest in circular motions.
Must’ve been quite a chase.
“I wanted to see you confess your affections to a stuffed animal,” Beth commented, gaining a snicker from most of the boys and Morgan. “Anyway, take Mr. Snuggles back.”
She handed the teddy to its new owner. Just then, a group of teenage girls went by.
“What a cute teddy bear!” The first one squealed.
“Is it yours?” Another inquired and Keegan reluctantly nodded.
“I love a guy who’s not afraid to show his softer side,” the last one stated with a flirtatious wink. “Can I run my fingers over him?”
“You can touch anywhere you want,” Kee murmured huskily. He no longer seemed bother by the giant toy.
The girl approached him, not the least bit abashed by the ambiguous meaning behind his words. We watched as he exchanged a couple of just as suggestive comments with her before she gave him her phone number and walked away with her friends.
“Oh, come on! Even Mr. Snuggles couldn’t cock-block you?” Beth marveled.
“What can I say,” Kee smirked. “If you got it, you got it.”
*****
“How is the University life?”
My aunts’ cozy kitchen with its smell of homemade food wasn’t where I was used to have conversations with my mother. As a general rule they were held in Elanor’s vast, sterile living room. I also wasn’t used to seeing her in casual clothing. Her preferred hairstyle – the tight signature bun, remained unchanged.
“It’s good,” I replied, taking a sip of my tea.
“Do you enjoy your classes?” She inquired again, fishing for questions. I knew she was making an attempt to bond with me and I appreciated it, but I couldn’t help expect to be reprimanded each time she opened her mouth.
“Some are boring, others I like. Having Beth around certainly makes them more entertaining.”
She nodded and we fell into silence. I lifted my cup to my lips just for the sake of doing something.
“And the apartment, do you like that?” Was what she asked me next. I noticed that she was tapping her own cup with her finger, a telltale sign this conversation was going nowhere.
“Yes, and our landlord is really friendly.”
I smiled, thinking about Calvin Andrews – our always jolly, kind-hearted landlord and supervisor of the order in our apartment building. Turning my gaze towards Elanor, I saw her purse her lips and I could almost hear the words of complaint which were swirling in her head: ‘Alissa, what does it matter if he’s friendly? He’s your landlord, does he do a good job t that?’
I hurried to add:
“He’s very responsible and keeps an eye on everything, making sure we have all we need.”
She nodded again and silently drank her tea. Once her cup was empty, she frowned as if she was thinking of something utterly unpleasant.
“And how are things with the boy?”
I sighed. Even though she’d avoided addressing Caden by his name, I could tell straight away she meant him just by the disapproval in her tone.
“I’m not looking to start an argument, Alissa, I’m simply inquiring about my daughter’s relationship,” she waved her hand, probably annoyed that I’d glowered at her.
“We’re fine, mother.”
“Just fine? Nothing more? No longer floating in the clouds?” If Elanor didn’t think that sneering was a sign of bad breeding, she’d be doing that right now. “And I don’t suppose he’s found a job.”
“He’s trying but it isn’t easy.”
She let out her signature dignified grunt.
“Well, I’m sure it is not! I for one would not hire someone who’d steal my income the moment I turned my back on them.”
“I thought you weren’t looking for an argument,” I reminded her of her previous statement coolly.
She didn’t grace me with a reply; she just got off her chair and poured herself more tea.
Why couldn’t she see Caden for who he really was?
He was kind and loving, and considerate… Yes, he’d made some poor decisions in the past but he’d learned from his mistakes. He was getting his life on track and he could never intentionally hurt me. He loved me.
Even though lately I felt like I didn’t deserve it.
Ever since the shooting, I wasn’t myself. I was jumpy and nervous; I often cried when no one was around even when there was nothing to upset me. I’d suddenly feel this lump in my throat, my eyes would water and a moment later I’d be on my knees, sobbing.
Caden didn’t know about that.
No one knew.
One thing I couldn’t hide though was my nightmares. I wish I could make them stop or that I could somehow keep my screams in my head but I always let them out. I would scream, I would cry and I would wake up.
And then I’d see Caden’s agonizing, worried face. He would try to soothe me, he’d hold me to his chest, he’d rock me gently back and forth and tell me that it would all be okay and that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me.
And I would believe him just enough to go back to sleep.
I sighed and looked around the kitchen. Elanor was still here, leaning on counter and drinking her tea with her back turned to me. I quietly got up and left without a word. I didn’t go to the living room where I could hear my friends laughing. I closed the door to my room and slumped on my bed. I felt like crying again but I knew that Caden would eventually come up to check on me so I kept my tears at bay. For now, I just wanted to be alone.
****
Caden’s POV
“So what did you want to talk about, Logan?”
After dinner at the Green’s, everyone had moved to the living room with the exception of Alice and Elanor who stayed in the kitchen. I guessed they’d want to be alone and attempt to bond. I was sure they would fail, yet I’d gotten up to give them some space. But as I followed the others, my brother pulled me to the side and asked to speak with me one-on-one. We’d chosen the garden since everyone else was in the house.
“Dad,” he replied briefly and I groaned.
The good news that Cillian greeted me with at the fair was that Gavin was out of town; I no longer had to dread meeting him. The bad news was that he didn’t want to tell me why my father had suddenly disappeared. When I’d asked, Cillian had mumbled “We’ll talk later or maybe Logan will explain that to you” and right then and there I knew that I was not about to hear anything pleasant.
“He’s been drinking again?” I now asked my brother. I was adamant he’d give me a positive reply.
“We don’t know,” he started to weasel. “We haven’t seen him since…” He took a deep breath and looked at me with distress. Whatever I’d imagined the bad news was, I was now sure it would be ten times worse. He spoke fast after that, almost as if he was afraid that if he slowed down, he’d rethink saying what he had to say.
“Caden, dad went to see mom the day before yesterday. She had another breakdown while he was there and he was pretty shaken up. He just up and left after he saw her. I don’t know where he is; he’s not picking up his phone and…”
I wasn’t listening.
I’d stopped listening after he’d told me about mom’s crisis. I wished so badly that I could see her! Alice and I had made plans to go and visit her tomorrow before we returned to Aberville. And now I wouldn’t get a chance to. Not so soon after a break down. I had to wait for her to calm down. No. I had to wait for the doctors and nurses to sedate her, then for her to recover from the extra drugs. Only then could I visit her.
“Caden,” I felt my brother’s hand on my shoulder and looked up to face him. “I know this wasn’t want you wanted to hear… what either of us wanted to hear, but it wasn’t dad’s fault. Don’t pin this on him…”
I shook my shoulder to remove his hand and glared at him.
He was siding up with Gavin again?
What about mom? She was the victim; why didn’t Logan stand up for her?
“She had a nightmare,” he blurted out, lifting his hands up in an appeasing gesture, his gaze darting to my trembling fists. “It wasn’t dad’s presence; she’d had a bad dream and was already a mess when he got there that morning.”
I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t Gavin’s fault this time.
Logan waited patiently while my breathing slowed down and the anger was at bay.
“Is that all you had to say?” I asked him, wanting to get back in the house and to Alice. I had to tell her about my mom. I flinched at the thought: I knew she’d be upset by her conversation with Elanor so delivering her the news about my own parent couldn’t come at a worse time.
“No, there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. To give you, actually,” Logan reached into his back pocket and took out an envelope.
“What’s that?” I asked, without taking it.
“Cash,” my brother periled curtly.
Not him too!
A few hours ago, while we were still at the fair, Cillian had pulled me away from the others.
“Here,” he’d said, shoving a wad of money in my hand.
“What’s that for?” I’d asked him.
“For you. It’s not that much,” he’d hurried to add once I’d opened my mouth to protest. “I know it’s tough to find a job so just take it. You know, to pay the bills and stuff…”
“Cillian, I don’t want your money,” I’d replied, touched by his kindness and irritated at the same time since he obviously thought I could not provide for myself. A nasty little voice in my head had butted in, noting that he had a point: we’d been at Aberville for a little over a month and I’d already spent most of what I’d earned by working at the pub. I shook my head, trying not to think that if things didn’t change, we’d be relying on Alice’s family to support us. Now Elanor would just love that! She’d never let me forget it.
“Don’t be too proud, Cade,” Cillian had gone on, voicing what had been on my mind. “If you don’t take them from me, Alice would have to get them from her mother. If you think Elanor hates you now, just think of how she’d react after she’s been paying your bills.”
A crooked smile formed on my lips.
How come this guy knew me so well?
“Fine,” I agreed, finally taking the folded money. “But this is a loan, Cillian; I’ll pay you back.”
“Sure you will,” he’d replied but by the tone of his voice I knew he didn’t want me to.
“Bro?”
“Hmm?” I murmured, getting back to the present.
“The dough,” Logan reminded me, waving the envelope in front of my face.
“I don’t need it; Cillian already lent me some,” I commented, pushing his hand away. “Besides, don’t you and Morgan need that?”
Keegan’s sister was older than us so this was her second year as a University student. Unlike us, she’d chosen to continue her education further away from home and not in Aberville. Once she and Logan had gone steady, he’d moved in with her. He was working but as far as I knew she was unemployed so I was sure they’d need that money almost as much as I did.
“Nah, we are cool,” he stated but I wasn’t convinced. “I get enough from my job and Morgan gets a full scholarship; we really are good, Cade. Besides, I’m only giving you your half of…”
He suddenly shut up and bit into his lip as if he’d said too much.
“My half of what?” I asked him, narrowing my eyes while I gazed into his.
Was he up to something shady again?
“Nothing… Never mind…” He muttered but I wouldn’t let it go.
“Logan,” I took a step towards my brother. “My half of what? I’m not dropping the matter so you might as well tell me.”
He sighed and leaned his back on the wall of the house.
“Your half of what dad left us.”
“That money came from Gavin?” I inquired evenly and he nodded. “I don’t want it.”
I turned my back to him with the intention to go inside the house but he grabbed my hand.
“Don’t be such a child, Caden!”
“A child?” I repeated, facing him again. “How am I being a child?’
“You refuse to take the money since they came from dad even though you need them; even though you keep saying he never does anything for us,” his voice rose up. “Well, he’s doing something now, Caden. He’s trying. He’s trying to quit drinking; he’s trying to help us out… He’s trying to be a dad again. Why can’t you give him a chance?”
“Because I already gave him a chance,” I snarled in my brother’s face. “Several, in fact. He blew every single one of them.”
“I really think this time is different, Cade,” he stated, his tone back to normal. “Morgan and I’ve been back in town for a few days now and he’s been wonderful to us. He’s polite, he jokes around, he even made us breakfast. He’s been so calm up until,” my brother slowed, “up until he went to see mom the other day.”
He stopped speaking, probably expecting me to give him a piece of my mind. I had nothing to say so he went on.
“The first day we were back, dad gave me two envelopes – one for me and one for you, Cade,” his voice was deliberately leveled. “He gave me yours just in case you didn’t want to see him.”
I sneered. Now where would my old man get an idea like that?
“Here’s yours; please take it,” he added, handing me the envelope once more.
I looked into his eyes – the same bluish-grey as mine. Only, I was sure mine were cold while his were pleading. We stared at each other for some time before I gave in and snatched the cash from his outstretched arm. I thought I saw his lips twitch up in a smile but he quickly suppressed it.
“Can we go back inside?” I asked.
“Yeah, we can go now.”
We walked into the living room where Logan kissed his girlfriend and sat next to her on the couch. She gave him one of those meaningful looks that people who are close sometimes share and he nodded in response to her silent question. Morgan snuck a glance my way and that’s when I knew she’d been inquiring about whether I’d taken the money.
Had it really been from Gavin or did those two…
No. They could not afford it; it must’ve been left from my father.
Besides, Logan said it was from Gavin even though he knew it would make me less likely to take the cash.
“Where’s Alice?” I asked, searching for her amongst the others.
“I think she went upstairs,” Will replied, scratching Cheshire behind the ear.
I nodded and made my way to the bedroom. The first thing that came to my mind when I opened the door was “Why is it so dark in here?” The lights were off and the curtains were drawn.
“Alice?”
I heard a shuffling noise from the bed, followed by her voice.
“Yeah?’
“Why are you on your own? And why are you sitting in the dark?” I flicked the light switch and she shielded her eyes, blinking at the light.
“I just felt like it,” she replied briefly.
I sat on the bed, next to her lying form.
“Did the talk with Elanor go that bad?” I asked, rubbing her back gently with my left hand.
She averted her gaze and nodded.
Was she hiding something from me?
“Alice…” I turned her face towards me. I hated seeing her upset but I had to tell her about my mother nevertheless. “Mom had another breakdown. We can’t visit her tomorrow.”
Her eyes became even sadder and she sat up to hug me.
“Oh, Cade…”
We stood in each other’s embrace in silence, before she backed away slightly to get a better view of my face.
“Does this have anything to do with why Gavin is not in town?”
“Yeah…” I summed up for her what Logan had told me. Once I was done speaking, she leaned her head back on my chest and I started to rock us back and forth.
I kissed her on her forehead.
Then on her right cheek.
Then on the left one.
Then on her nose.
By the time I started to nibble her earlobe, she was giggling.
“Caden!”
I smiled, hearing her cheerful voice. I’d managed to distract her.
“Cade, stop it!”
“I don’t wanna,” I murmured, tickling her neck with the lapping motion of my tongue.
“Cade, everyone is still downstairs; they might hear us,” she reprimanded but she didn’t put up a fight once I pushed her so that she lay on her back. Nor when I pulled the fabric of her green top up to kiss her stomach.
“Caden…” This time my name sounded like a moan.
“Yes, my little Alice?”
Her hands moved up my torso and under my singlet. Her touch was light as she slid her fingers up and down my body.
“Just try not to make too much noise,” she breathed before lifting herself up to kiss me.
Only a moment later my singlet was on the bedroom floor, followed by her top.
Our kisses became more and more heated as I reached into my back pocket to take out the condom. I slid her jeans off her and she did the same to mine. Our skin touched, completely naked, save for my boxers and her panties. But they had to go too.
Once I’d removed them, I stopped to look at the girl beneath me.
Her eyes shone brightly now, all the sadness from before gone. Her lips were curved into a smile as she moistened them with her tongue, preparing them for another kiss.
I didn’t make her wait long for that.
I leaned down, nibbling on her bottom lip with my teeth. I was slow and gentle as I slid my tongue into her mouth.
Alice meant the world to me.
I loved her more than I could ever love anyone else and I needed her to know that.
I didn’t want to just say it; I wanted to show her.
So I let my body speak and uncovered all my feelings for her through a kiss.
*****
A/N: So, another chapter is up and I wanted to use this Author’s Note to say a huge thank you to all of you who support my work. Your votes and comments, your love for my stories and characters, are sometimes the only reason why I plant my butt in that chair, turn on my laptop and write; following and even simply adding my books to your Reading Lists means a great deal to me, so THANK YOU! ♥