Chapter 11- Party time part 2
Mel's point of view:
Maddy was planning something, I was sure of it. She had that conspiring look in her eyes that was all too familiar. I plastered a smile on my face and handed her the cup in my hands, sensing from her dilated eyes that it probably wasn't the best idea to give her more vodka.
I knew it was a role reversal as it was always her looking after me, but I would usually share a look with Dom at this point, but not anymore. I knew everyone was noticing it, including Maddy. But, I just didn't have the courage to tell her everything. My throat thickened slightly at the thought. Greg would have understood, he wasn't great at all that 'feelings' crap, but he would have cheered me up. Albeit in a teasing, borderline irritating way, but there was always an underlying feeling of support. Like a safety net. I just wished I could explain that I had ruined one of the most important things in my life. That I ruined the perfect friendship.
"Are you alright Mel?" Lily asked me in a low voice, pulling me out of my depressing reverie
"Yes, fine" I plastered a smile on my face and blinked away the accumulation of tears in my eyes. She didn't look convinced, but nodded at the resolution on my face. Probably recognizing that I didn't want to talk about it. Good.
A new song started, the bass heavy and pounding senselessly in my ears. I used to love dancing at parties, but so had Greg (when drunk enough) and it was the swirl of memories that rushed through my head that stopped me from immediately swaying to the beat. Greg could entertain the whole room when he got going- his moves were so eclectic. A ghost of a smile crept onto my face at the thought. He would want me to have fun, surely?
Just then Ana grabbed hold of my arms and move me from side to side, forcing me to dance. She was so petite that she had to practically jump on the spot to make my arms move. I let out a laugh and half heartedly moved with her hilarious attempt to make me have fun. In that moment my smile was genuine- my friends had been really great these past couple of weeks and I was thankful, even if I didn't act like it all the time.
A frown replaced the smile quickly as I saw the Maddy snaking an arm around Dom's waist. I clenched my fists so hard my nails were making indentations in the sensitive skin of my palms. I resisted the urge to rip her arm off of him, I was being irrational and I knew that. Of course Maddy was my best friend and I wouldn't harm a single hair on her head, I took in a huge gust of air to calm myself.
I danced with renewed gusto, determined not to look at them. I let go, forgetting everything, thinking was for later. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as Dean was being yanked away from us by Alex. To my surprise, Dean's face was a picture of disgust, like he wanted nothing better than to fling her hand off his arm. For a moment, I felt a little confused because Alex was really pretty- the Dean I knew would have been all over her.
Maddy strode up to her immediately, so quickly that I knew she must have been watching closely. She leaned in and murmured some unintelligible words in the girls ear. Alex's expression switched from outrage to smiling in an instant and she nodded at Maddy in recognition. Her eyes rested on Lily as she slurred:
"I didn't realize Dean. My apologies" Her tone suggested she was anything but sorry. I rolled my eyes at her, but let it go. She was never like that sober. Lily Iooked a bit shocked at the attention and shot Maddy a questioning look.
"Wanna dance Lil?" Dean asked, staring at her intently. She nodded, a faint pink spreading across her cheeks. Lily never blushed; Dean's eyes seemed to light up another shade of blue at her reaction. He mouthed a ' thank you' in Maddy's direction and she smiled warmly back in acknowledgment. Before I could ask what that was all about, I looked around to see Joe embracing Dom, seeming to need support.
"Dom we should take him upstairs. Mel?" Maddy's voice was sharp to my ears, I turned my head towards her like a shot.
"Can you help us?" I nodded, my face a picture of concern. Dom wrapped an arm underneath Joe's supporting his weight and Maddy copied him. Joe had his head down, breathing heavily.
I followed them out of the room, noticing as I did, Maddy's hand slip into Joe' s and the two of them exchange a long glance. When I looked back she had released his hand. Was I missing something here? I thought I had at least followed everything happening with my friends recently, but perhaps something had slipped under the radar. Maybe I'd been acting like more of a zombie than I'd originally believed. We stumbled under Joe's deadweight across the hallway, I had a feeling Maddy wasn't doing as much as she could to support his weight. Lazy girl. Thankfully, Joe's room was downstairs so the obstacle of stairs wasn't an issue. That would have been too much effort.
"I'm just going to get him some water, Mel would you take my place" I nodded and positioned myself on Joe's right side, though I would much rather have gone instead. Not only was I much shorter than the two boys (I made our trio uneven), but being alone with Dom and a drunken Joe wasn't much different to being completely alone with him. The old me would have been completely at ease, but no. The new me was sweating bullets from anxiety .
We set him on the bed in silence, and my heart constricted slightly that we could not act normally around each other anymore, beating faster, knowing that it was utterly and completely my fault. Joe, got up from the bed with surprisingly agility and headed for the door.
"Bathroom!" He excused himself. Great, now we really were alone. I looked around at Dom to find him studying me intently- trying to figure me out probably. I didn't know who I was anymore, so how could he expect to? A glint of light from Joe's ensuite toilet caught my eye. Wait.... Joe had an ensuite, so why didn't he just stumble there instead?
Suddenly there was a loud clunk as the door was closed from the outside. Our eyebrows pulled together in confusion and I walked towards the door with the full intention of leaving as quickly as possible. Before my fingers had even touched the handle, I heard the unmistakable click as a key turned in the lock, holding us in the room.
"Hey! What are you doing?" I yelled through the door.
"Making sure Joe doesn't drink anymore" Maddy's voice replied, muffled by the music blaring from the lounge.
"Joe's not in here you idiot!" I shouted back at her, feeling the old fire return. Dom just glared at the door, concentrating hard on something.
"What do you mean? Where is he?" her tone was coloured with concern and something else that I didn't recognize.
"He went to the toilet to be sick I think" I returned, my mouth set into a hard line. If anyone else was imprisoned with me, I would have found this slightly amusing, but not in present company.
"I better go and see if he's OK" her voice sounded fainter, as if she were moving away from the door. I looked at Dom in disbelief, but all I got back was a look of resignation.
"Oi! Let us out first Mad" I shouted, no patience left anymore. No reply. She had already walked away. I opened my mouth to call her back, a stream of unfriendly words ready to colour my tone.
"Don't bother. She'll be back soon" Dom mumbled. I studied his face with uncertainty; how long was 'soon'? I nodded and sunk down on the bad next to him, leaving a large space between us. The silence screamed at us. We sat there for a long time, every minute seemed like a millenia. In reality, probably about 10 minutes passed.
"Mel, I'm sorry" Dom said in a small voice, and I hated the broken note to it. I looked at him, eyes wide with disbelief. What?
"You have nothing to be sorry for." I returned, eyes closed to hold myself together.
"I do." Dom replied, sounding taken aback, but the note of sincerity in his tone surprised me. How could he even think that he had done anything wrong? He opened his mouth to say something else and I couldn't listen to anymore. I rose off the bed slowly, hand raised in the air to silence his protests.
"Don't. This is all my fault, so just don't bother" I spat through gritted teeth, composure slipping slowly but surely.
He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder a tender expression on his face, but I shrugged it off. I didn't want him to make things right because he felt sorry for me. His pity was the last thing I wanted. I wanted him to forgive me because he wanted to, not because he felt obliged to as I had become the sad girl whose brother died.
"I should have been there for you more, but it was hard Mel. I couldn't take it." His voice broke and I wanted to reach out to him. Comfort him. To show him how completely I understood him, because I had felt exactly the same. But something held me back: I stood immobile, unable to speak due to the constricting of my throat.
"I really needed you Dom" I murmured tiredly. My voice sounded small to my ears, insignificant.
"Well, it wasn't that simple was it?" Dom asked me, stepping towards me until the proximity was enough to make me shiver.
"You're my best friend: I know what I did was horrible and selfish and..." Tears filled my eyes, tumbling down my cheeks. He shushed me before I could go on, his arm wrapped around me pulling me against him. The memory comes thick and fast.
I look up at him, having to crane my neck to meet his warm hazel eyes. Momentarily I consider what I'm about to do: I'm going to kiss my best friend. I'm going to kiss Dom and when I do things will never be the same again. Then I decide, almost instantaenously, that it doesn't matter. I want to kiss him, more than I've ever wanted to kiss anyone else.
So when I lean forward and press my lips experimentally to his, it doesn't matter to me that he's startled. More than startled, but that emotion is only fleeting. Soon enough we are holding on to each other like a lifeline and my lips are welded against his.
He pulls away and smiles at me like I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever layed eyes on. There is a fire in his eyes that I've never seen before, and as he exhales shallow, broken breaths, he seems at a loss for words.
"Wow" He whispered.
I look at him and I cannot help but wonder: how come we haven't been doing this all along? He is Dom my best friend from childhood, but I know now that that has never been true. He was never merely my friend.
"I know" I replied, softly
The memory fades away and I realise what I'm doing. Abruptly, I pulled away from him and stood up. Dom deserves better than to be played with any longer. The glimpse of his expression in the corner of my eye tells me he's hurt and I know I would do anything to wipe that look off his face.
"No!" I couldn't let him comfort me, it made me feel, if possible: even worse. Suddenly, I was so angry at Maddy for locking us in here. She had done it purposely, I was sure of it. I pounded my fists on the door and shouted her name at the top of her voice. No answer.
"What do you want from me Mel?" Dom shouted, I flinched at his intensity. I exhaled slowly through my nose: I deserved this.
"I don't know" I yelled, hating the look of hurt in his eyes. He went on:
"Well figure it out! You say you need me, but then you say you need space. I don't know what to do!" Dom gained an octave as he condemned me without mercy.
"What do you want me to say Dom? That I made a mistake, because I couldn't cope with us on top of everything else. That I'm sorry? That I hurt you, that I can't even look you in the eye anymore because I'm still so fucking in love with you!" I yelled, my eyes widening as my composure became non-existent. I hadn't meant to reveal so much. Dom's eyes bulged at my revelation. Great.
"What?" His voice was like a sharp whip to my ears. He looked livid, astounded and I didn't want to hear his rejection. There was no possibility that he felt the same, not anymore.
I met his gaze, but didn't reply. The familiar turning of the lock snapped us back to our senses. I ran to the door, wiping the hot tears off my cheeks as I did. I felt no approach behind me: Dom stood frozen and immobile. But my attention was elsewhere: the fury was filling me up, all encompassing. How could Maddy be so thoughtless? Somewhere form my deep subconscious a small voice piped up: maybe because she knows how much you need him? Safe to say I ignored that voice wholeheartedly.
I opened the door with an almost audible swish, my hands shaking with suppressed rage. Maddy stood there, surprised at my exit. Probably listening at the door to see what we were talking about. She opened her mouth to speak, a familiar sheepish expression on her face. That expression was the one she always used when she'd been caught in the act. An expression I usually laughed good naturedly at, but not today.
"You couldn't just leave it alone could you?" I spat at her. She had the good sense to step back slightly, clearly intimidated by the murderous expression on my face.
"Mel, look I was just trying to-" she mumbled in a calm voice. I cut her off:
"Trying to what? Make everything like it was before, just to make things easier for you. You didn't even think did you?" I shouted at her arms raised in frustration.
"I was just-" She started and I raised a hand to silence her.
"No you didn't. You never do. I can't believe you could be so interfering. Do me a favour and don't talk to me" My voice lost its volume towards the end, revealing the hurt behind it. I turned my back on her, my face wet.
"Mel, please!" Maddy shouted after my retreating figure, my mind was too far gone to notice the desperation in her voice.
"Mel! What is wrong with you Maddy?" Dom's voice was faint as I walked away, but I could sense the anger in it. A very different sort of anger than had been directed at me. With me it was all frustration, there was no real anger: only sadness. I didn't stick around to hear the rest. Ignoring the looks of confusion on my friends faces I brushed through the thinning crowd and headed out into the night.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Second party chapter, was it was you expected? Dom and Mel's big secret was revealed! But there's still why Mel thinks she ruined it all. Her point of view was interesting to write, I thought as Greg's sister she would need to mention him, but I didn't dwell on Greg too much because we've had a lot of that from Maddy.
Maddy didn't really think that one through did she? To be fair: she had no idea that was the reason they were arguing. Will the others side with Maddy or Mel?
Chapter song:
"You crossed this line,
Do you find it hard to say it with me tonight?"
London Grammar- Wasting my Young Years
Thanks for reading, feel free to vote, comment and vote.
NotOriginal1997 xxx