"Fuck! We can't be lost." Bon repeated for the fifteenth time after we'd lost our last symbol. We'd tried backtracking, going tree by tree until we found ourselves in an entirely different area.
"Let's just try and make it back to the road, we have a higher chance of coming across that instead of searching for the others right away." I felt oddly numb at the moment, and my clear head helped us stay on track.
"Good idea, yeah, let's do that." Bon started heading in a different direction before pausing. "Which way would the road be?"
I shrugged, "one of us should climb a tree and see if there are any gaps between tree lines or whatnot." He nodded once again and heaved himself up onto a nearby tree branch. After a minute or so passed, I called up to him. "Can you see anything?"
"Um, I'm pretty sure I can see where the road is. Hang on, I'll be right down." I heard him lower himself, a few leaves falling off the tree and fluttering toward the ground. Once his feet were firmly on the ground I questioned which was our destination was. He raised his hand to point, but he faltered. "Let's see, I was standing on this side of the trunk, so.... uh," he pointed out a rough area. "It's somewhere over there."
I sighed in relief, "thank god, how far is it?" He remained silent and I nudged him, "you remember that, right?" He nodded and I grunted, "how far?"
"Like ten kilometers."
"You've gotta be kidding me, that's like two hours of nonstop walking." I ran my hands through my hair, my fingers snagging on the clumps of dried dirt and blood. Huffing, I told myself to calm down. "Well, standing around will only set us behind, so let's just get moving." Bon grunted in agreement and we set out on our journey. With no way of knowing if we were going in the right direction, or if what Bon saw was even the road to begin with.
.oOo.
"Bon, what time is it?"
"You know, when you constantly know the time like that, it makes the minutes seem longer." I hushed him and told him I just wanted to know the goddamn time, for fucks sake, it's not like knowing will kill me. "It's half past seven."
"You're shitting me,"
"One shall not be shitted as the time is correct."
"Knock it off, I'm not in the mood. We should've made it to the road by now, did we not go in the right direction?" I rubbed my arms and leaned against a tree, the cold was brisk, but thankfully, the trees blocked most of it's force.
Suguro stopped as well, clasping his hands together and blowing through them. "I don't know man, I know for a fact that I saw some sort of clearing in this direction. And it was a wide stretch, I can't think of anything else it could've been except for a road."
I hummed, "so, if it is the road, we must have veered off somehow. Maybe we should check again." He nodded and I offered to climb the tree this time, he looked worn out, and even if I felt the same, he was only human. I panted as I pulled myself up, branch by branch. It was sad how out of energy I was only halfway up the tree, but I powered through and gripped the trunk when I reached the top. It had grown past sunset and the only light came from the few stars that peaked from behind the clouds. "I can't see anything up here!"
"Nothing at all? Not even a darker shade of black?"
What was he, stupid? Darker shade of black.... whatever, I just answered him and climbed back down, throughly exhausted. "There's no way we can make it back at this rate. We'll have to camp out somewhere nearby until morning."
He nodded his head, "but I don't feel right giving in just now, can we just keep moving for a little bit?" I relented and followed behind him in silence. He, however, seemed chatty for some reason. "Your life kinda sucks, Okumura."
I couldn't help it, I laughed, the sound scaring a few birds, or possibly bats. "I mean, I won't argue about it, but what makes you say that?"
His footsteps never moved out of pattern ahead of me, "I knew your life sucked even before this shit happened. And all off us at the cram school have had pretty shitty experiences, but it's pretty safe to say that you've been dealt a horrible hand."
"...okay, so what's your point?"
"I don't really have one, I guess. I just wanted you to know that I understand that you're being put through a lot. And I have to admire how you've held yourself together during it all, even now, I have no idea how you're still standing."
I cackled, a few sticks snapping as I stepped on them. "Everyone is underestimating me, I'm half demon, remember? That has to have a hand in it. And besides, you've had a rough time growing up, too."
He paused and I almost slammed into his back, "not really, I mean, my life was pretty shitty for awhile there. But," I heard him shuffle around before he came to rest somewhere in front of me. "Ever since that incident in Kyoto, things have been getting better on my part. I really don't have much to complain about anymore." I pondered his words as I leaned against a tree. "My dad and I have been getting along, and even though I wish things could go back to what they were like before the Blue Night," a small pang of guilt struck my heart, "I couldn't be any happier with my position, right now,"
"Well, you know, except for the past couple of days." I snarked and he snorted in response.
"Yeah, I agree, this is one hell of a roller coaster."
"... do you think we will make it out of here?" My own words sent daggers into my chest. The air around us taking on a darker twist.
He was silent, and after a few moments, I was about to ask if he was even awake, but he answered me before I could open my mouth. "I don't know, but I have hope that all of us will survive this."
I swallowed hard at his emphasis on the word. All of us... it never really crossed my mind that only some of us would be saved. The thought was saddening, I'd been under the assumption that we were a group, and if help never came, that'd be the end. Or the bright side, that all of us would pull through. However, the idea that only some of us would manage to make it until the next sunset... that somehow made me sadder than all of our demises. What if.... what it Yukio didn't...? I covered my mouth and swallowed hard, what would I do if I had to live without him?
Oh my god, that was a worse fate than dying. Living with the constant guilt that you made it when someone else didn't... I wracked my brain, considering who could be put into such a scenario. With horror, I realized that my own brother wasn't very high on that list. What did I prefer; for him to suffer with survivor's guilt, or to die here? I didn't want to think about that.
"You okay, Okumura?" I was startled from my thoughts and I cleared my throat.
"Uh, yeah, why?"
"No reason, you just got quiet all of a sudden." I just hummed and we sat in our silence for awhile. I listened to the chirps of crickets until he asked me a question. "So you and Moriyama, what do you plan on doing?"
My eyes bugged and I scampered to answer him, "n-nothing is going on between us, what makes you say that?" I nervously scratched the back of my head and flinched when I dug out a scab. Gross.
He laughed wholeheartedly, "You're completely transparent, Okumura. The only one who doesn't know how you feel about Moriyama, is Moriyama." My cheeks burned hot and I was thankful that it was too dark for him too see my face.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I slumped down to the ground, grabbing a fistful of grass and pulling them by the roots. "Shiemi and I are just friends," my tone was firm, because it was true. To her, I was only an acquaintance; truly friend zoned.
"Then do something about it, don't wait for her to change it for you." He scoffed, "do you really expect Moriyama to confess her feelings to you? She can barely recognize a true friendship, let alone a romantic relationship."
I pulled a few more blades from the ground, "why are you telling me all of this? It's not like it will matter in these next few days."
He huffed and I heard him slam his fist into the ground, "because you need something to hold onto in times like this." I swallowed the lump that was beginning to for in my throat as he continued. "Out of all of us, you have one of the strongest willpowers. So if you give up hope, it would only be a matter of time before the rest of us fell, too." Why was it my responsibility to keep the facade up?
"What's the point of lying to everyone? I'll look like more of an idiot when the truth is finally revealed."
"That truth being death, right?" I flinched, and even though he couldn't see it, it was if he could sense it. "Why do you care what anyone thinks of you when we are standing by death's door? You know, if we all die out here, at least we left this world kicking, right?"
I realized then just how much I'd given up. Suguro sounded like me, but I sounded... distant, and ready to accept this fate. "Y-you're right, I guess I've lost my footing. Sorry for being such a downer, dude."
"Don't worry about it," he was silent for a moment, and then, "so, you gonna make a move on Moriyama?"
"Jesus Christ, man, I don't know?" I plucked one last piece of grass and wiped my hands on my pants, folding my arms over my chest. "What if she rejects me?"
"Then you tried your best, but what if she accepts?" I hummed and he chuckled lowly, "I mean, out here, things can't really get much worse. A girl rejecting you pales in comparison to what's already happened, you don't have much to lose."
"I suppose you're right, but how do you even bring something like that up? We don't exactly have a Sakura tree to stand under, and sitting next to a crowded fire when I confess is a bit... lame." I leaned my head back against the bark of the tree trunk, spotting a star through the thick branches and clouds.
He grunted, "fuck the aesthetics of it, Okumura. There's no way you'll be able to talk to her in the perfect setting, so just make do."
I sighed and nodded, "yeah, okay. Hey, we should probably stick it out here for the night. I don't feel like going any further." He hummed and I heard him get to his feet. I took one last glance at the lone star, "perfect setting..."
"Did you say something?"
"Uh, no. Just mumbling, where are we gonna sleep?"