I hate him, but I love him too. Annoying man, but then again he didn't deserve what happened to him. So here is some Pure Insanity™ love for you guys. You can tell he's one of my favourite followers! <3
Warning!: A little bit of masturbation and none consented touching! :P
Fan art: https://au.pinterest.com/pin/398498267002055046/
It's Complicated
The sanctuary was most certainly my home. But my houses all across Skyrim were where I spent most nights.
It was a moonlit night in Hjaalmarch and I was headed to my home, Windstad Manor, after just finishing my last contract. I had just killed Safia, the captain of the Red Wave, and jeez it was hard. That ship was impossible to get onto without being seen. The guards didn't do anything when I was on the ship but after entering I encountered five deadly pirates that were less than friendly about me trespassing on their boat. I had barely made it out alive.
That is why I decided that instead of my Solitude home, I would stay in my house in Morthal. It was a little away from the place of the deed so it would take the guards longer to find me if they tried to track me. I also didn't want anyone finding the last sanctuary our family had so I stayed clear of Dawnstar to protect them.
I rocked up to my house and unlocked the door, limping and trying to climb the front steps was not a good idea and please never try it. It hurt just as much as when I was being attacked by three blood thirty pirates at once. I stumbled through my door and my steward Faendal was cleaning the weapon rack, he quickly jumped to me and wrapped my arm around his neck, hauling me to my bed on the left side of my house just off the main hall. There were still items to add in all areas of my house, but for the most part it was finished. All except the alchemy lab that was still completely empty and probably gathering dust and spiders.
"Thane, you need to be more careful," My housecarl Gorm said. "Here drink this."
He handed me an extreme healing potion and placed a bowl of cabbage soup on my bedside table. Faendal sat me on my bed and patched up my knee. It was bleeding pretty badly and I was not sure how I had even got home with such a gash in it. He dabbed a wet cloth over it, making me hiss in pain, before he used the healing hands spell over and over until the bleeding had stopped.
"Get some rest and one of us will check on you soon." Faendal added, heading down the stairs with the bloody rag and the empty bottle, Gorm followed behind him.
I sighed as I lay down, I could at least feel my leg now and it wasn't in much pain as it was before, but I knew if i headed down too soon the two worry warts would send me back up to 'rest'. I looked up at the ceiling and stared at nothing in particular. I couldn't stop thinking of Cicero.
I had promised the jester that I would play a little 'game of life' once I had returned but it was looking like I wouldn't be heading out tonight. There was a sudden stinging pain and the gash in my leg opened up. My vision was blurred as I sat up straight and tried to heal in myself.
Faendal must have heard me because he came rushing up the stairs with another cloth and two more healing potions. I wanted to help him but it seemed that my consciousness had other ideas. The last thing I remember was Gorm telling me to stay awake, Faendal using healing hands on me, and then I fell backwards. The wood of the roof began twisting into a mess of waves and colours before I passed out.
~Time skip brought to you by fetching the mead.~
I awoke in the dead of night.
"Aww man," I sighed, coving my eyes with my forearm. "I guess I won't be making it home for our little game Cicero."
I was a little more than angry with myself for not prepping for my contract properly. If I had done so I would be home with the family and not in serving pain in a home that was way too close to where the deed had taken place. I remembered the last time I came home injured, Babette was faster than lightening when she saw the blood, grabbing medicine and rags, she tended to me through the whole ordeal. She was like an angel in a devil's form. Nazir was worried, his face was ridden with it, but he would remain as calm as possible for everyone else's sake. He would bring me food when I was hungry, throwing in a few little treats like sweetrolls now and again, and he would do all the contracts I had been given while I was still recovering.
Cicero, on the other hand, never left my side. He would stay with me all day not once thinking about himself. He fell asleep on the chairs next to me, woke up on the chairs next to me, and talked to me all day. I had to remind him to tend to the Night Mother some days, to which he would refuse and I had to call Babette to stay with me until he had finished so he won't fret that I would die if I were alone, it was quite frustrating at times but it made me feel a little spark whenever he showed he cared.
That spark was the very reason I was not prepping properly. He would follow me around the sanctuary all day and ask if I needed any help and I got so distracted by him that I couldn't focus on what I needed to do.
Cicero was, thankfully, not in the sanctuary the day I was sent to deal with Red Wave. However, it was the thought of him returning before I left and never leaving my side that scared me a little. I loved being around the fool, but when I was supposed to be concentrating on a task it was hard to tear myself from thoughts, some cute some much dirtier, of the jester. Once I had almost finished packing that day, I was still missing a few weapons and potions, when he returned and my instant thought was to run and leave. So I did.
I regretted leaving the sanctuary in such a hurry but I couldn't deal with even another touch from Cicero. He would leave me squirming. To make things worse the Night Mother had known about my 'thing' for Cicero for weeks, and every time I was asking about a contract and he walked in the Mother would make a sneaky remark about him to me. At first I thought it was merely the way she talked and that I was the one who was over thinking it, but after a few times (and a few more times of hearing her laugh inside my head when I was close to him) I knew she was making fun of me. I never would have guessed that the Mother who murdered her own children would have a sense of humour, but you can't judge a book by its cover.
I removed my arm from over my eyes, the room had come into focus now, and I slowly propped myself up on my elbows. The doors were shut and there was no one else in the room with me. I lay back down and sighed. It had been a few weeks since my last masturbation, and I had heard that doing it relived stress and helped with insomnia. It also produces a chemical that is a natural pain reliever, Oxytocin, and considering I was in extreme pain I deemed it necessary.
I cautiously reached down under the covers and slid my hand down between my legs.
"Oh Divines." I mumbled, "Please let nobody hear this."
I began to touch my breasts and rub myself. At first I couldn't seem to get myself in the mood to feel any pleasure, I tried every place I knew of that would normally work, but I felt nothing. Then I had a thought. Cicero.
"If the Mother could see me now she would surely tease me about this." I groaned.
I closed my eyes and I envisioned Cicero, the fool of a man who had stolen something not even being the best thief in the world could retrieve. My heart. I had been waiting all of my life for someone like him to mess with my mind, someone crazy, someone who could make me feel again.
I thought about everything I wanted to do to him, and everything I wanted him to do to me. I wanted to see how he looked without his fools clothes on, I wanted to feel his touch in a safe and secure environment, I wanted to feel him. No I needed to. My brain kept trying to remind me that he was literally insane, a deadly assassin, and almost ten years my senior! But by the Nine those things made everything I felt for him all the more exciting. I could feel myself getting closer to the edge as I scrunched my eyes and wrinkled my nose.
"Cicero." I moaned, getting slightly faster with the mention of his name.
"Yes, Listener? How can Cicero be of service?" I heard, mer centimetres away from my ears.
My hands shot from my legs and breasts to the top of the covers in an instant, pulling it up and covering my body from view. Then I opened my eyes and there he was, the damn fool who I was really hoping not to see for a while after masturbating to his image. Cicero. He had somehow managed to climb on top of me, on his hands and knees, without me even noticing. He had his knees either side of my thighs and his hands either side of my shoulders, his face was way too close to my own.
"Cicero!" I exclaimed.
He moved his hand and covered my mouth. I panicked at first but he motioned to the ceiling with his other hand's index finger and then placed it over his mouth.
"They might take notice that you are awake." He smiled, doing a little manic laugh as he removed his hand from my mouth. He straighten himself onto his knees, careful not to sit on me and pulled his gloves off.
"Cicer-" I was cut off again but his ungloved hand pressed to my mouth.
"Humble Cicero lives to serve." His smile was not as insane as before, something was keeping him from that.
He pulled the covers from my hands and threw them back to the end of the bed, revealing my whole naked figure. I covered my breasts and vaginal area with my hands and he released my mouth.
"Cicero wants to see this in the light." His voice wasn't as high pitched as it was every other time he spoke, no, it was softer.
He removed himself from the bed and looked for a candle. I tried to move but my subconscious wouldn't let me leave, I was still terrified of the jester, because after all he was a murderer and no amount of feelings would change that.
I heard him step back towards me.
"Found a light." He said, laughing as he lit it and placed it on the bedside table.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction, and when he stopped walking I feared the worst. It was like that for a whole two minutes and then I felt the bed move as he placed himself back into his previous position above me. Not a word was spoken. I flinched as a hand traced one of the scars along my cheek. The hand was hesitant at first but it relaxed soon enough. I dared to open my eyes and they locked with his instantly. There was no smirk, not even a trace of one, just an intense gaze of...something...staring at my skin.
I hadn't seen many emotions from Cicero before, so I wasn't too surprised when I couldn't pin point the emotion straight away.
"Show me." He demanded in small and hushed tone.
I obliged, removing my hands from the areas they covered. His eyes moved slowly from my own and took in all there was to see. Everything. Not once did his expression change.
"Listener." His voice was a normal tone, no high pitched nonsense. "I want to take care of you too." He smiled and the insanity returned.
Cicero blew out the candle and he smashed his lips to mine. It was rough, harsh, and at some point he drew blood from my bottom lip. I was only focused on the things happening with my tongue that I stopped dead when his hand reached between my thighs. I drew my dagger from under my pillow as a natural reaction and held it up against is throat.
"Now Listener." Cicero's voice was riddled with fear, a sound I heard one to many times in the voices of my victims, but it was also laced in humour. As if he knew I wouldn't kill him. "You cannot kill Cicero. I know you cannot, you would have done so a long time ago."
I lowered my weapon.
"I's so sorry Cicero, it was a reaction to the touch." I placed the dagger back in its place. "You are right. I could never kill you."
Cicero laughed ecstatically, and placed my other hand on his chest. Bare chest. When did he get undressed?
"Do you feel that Listener?" He said, and I did. His heart was racing. "You do this to Cicero with every touch. I wish to touch you too Listener."
I couldn't protest as he lay down next to me and pulled me closer, oh gods he was fully nude I could feel it on my skin, then he turned me onto my side.
"You don't need to think of poor Cicero. No. Imagine the one you desire." He whispered into my ear.
'I don't need to imagine, it's happening Cicero' I thought.
He scooped my leg into his arms and placed it over his own so he had full access to me. My head was laying on his arm that was wrapped around my neck and playing with my breasts. The other hand had pulled the covers over us and was now exploring my nether reigns. His hands were so warm. And there was that damn spark.
"Do you feel it too [Y/N]?" Cicero asked as he sucked on my neck.
I had never heard him use my name before. It was always 'Listener this' and 'Listener that', never [Y/N]. But by the freaking Nine it rolled of his tongue as if his voice was made for it.
I arched as Cicero got faster. It felt so much nicer when someone else was touching me; there was the added bonus of it the person doing it was a dangerous man, the notion that we could have been caught at any time, and for Gods sake I was being masturbated by the man I loved. The arm I was laying on was relived of it position and he pulled it back to him. I knew where it going but I never said a word. I just silently thanked Sithis that he was also enjoying this.
"Cicero." I moaned. The Imperial got faster.
"[Y/N]." He growled into my neck.
Oh Gods. I wrapped my fingers into his hair because I was certainly loosing all control over my senses.
"Cicer-..Oh!" I gasped.
"[Y/N]." His voice was husky and low, nothing like his jester persona.
"I..Cicero!" I arched one final time and he bit my neck as I released, and a few moments later and he did too.
We lay there for a few moments in pure bliss as the events of what just happened sunk in.
"I,er,umm...Cicero. Did this really just happen?" I could not believe it.
"Yes Listener!" Cicero's happy-go-lucky voice had returned and he pulled me into a hug. "...Cicero is hungry... ...need a sweetroll... or a carrot..."
'Andddd he's back' I thought, laughing a little as I reached into my bedside cabinet. I kept a sweetroll nearby just incase the guards mock me.
"Here." I said, handing him the treat.
"Oooooh! Thank you Listener!" He exaggerated.
I pushed him out of the bed. "Don't you dare get crumbs in the bed!"
"He he he he ha ha ha." He smiled as he got up and went to the table in the middle of the room. "Of course Listener."
"I am never going anywhere without him again. Or maybe I should, it leads to a lovely night." I mumbled into the pillow.
"Cicero can hear you." He giggled. "I will do this every night I can spare from now on Listener. Maybe more if you shall allow it."
I know it was pitch black but I could feel the damn smirk from across the freaking room. I smiled, 'yep, I love him'.