Gasping for air as he woke up, Ben coughed, letting his forehead rest on the cold, wet and hard floor. Everything was numb and dark. Ben gripped on to his head, the front part pounding in his ears.
Where was he? Who brought him here? Where were his parents? Ben tried to make some kind of sense to this situation, but the facts didn't just add up. The only thing he could remember was his parents yelling at him that they didn't want him anymore. Could that be true?
"Ben Solo," an unfamiliar, gravelly voice rasped from the shadows. Weakly, Ben reached out with the Force to try to find the source of the voice. He felt the presence of someone or something else. Whoever it was didn't feel human to Ben—how could anyone be filled with so much hate and anger?! It almost felt like a mass of total darkness rather than a person.
"We meet at last."
A cloaked figure stepped into the meager light, standing over him. All Ben could make out in the dim lighting were two light blue eyes, staring unblinkingly down at him. For a moment, Ben was stunned into speechlessness. "W-Who are you?" Ben eventually stammered, squirming a little against his bonds. This...person didn't feel right to him.
For whatever reason, Ben's question seemed to please the man. "Your uncle never told you of me?" He asked, and Ben frowned, trying to remember if his uncle had ever told him about creepy golden-eyed guys in hoods. He couldn't remember that...
"My name is Snoke. Perhaps you'll remember me from this?" He started to question as he flooded a memory to Ben's mind.
Ben's head continued to frown as the memory was played back in his head. He could see...himself? At a very young age, no older than eight or nine. He was lying in his bed and a dark voice was speaking to him. He watched as his younger self sat up quickly in his bed, racing out of his room to find his parents. As the memory faded away from his mind, Ben returned his gaze up to the strange figure in front of him.
That got a brittle laugh that was more of a cackle than anything else. It sounded so evil it made the hair on Ben's arms and legs stand on end. "Oh no, my dear boy, I am no voice inside your head. I am, in fact, all too real." He paused, his golden eyes narrowing. "And now, I am your master."
Uneasiness settled into Ben's stomach while his mind swirled with confusion. "No," He began hesitantly, "My uncle is going to be my master...he's going to teach me the ways of the Force."
Snoke scoffed. "And do you think your uncle would want to mentor you now? After you killed your own mother?"
Every muscle in Ben's body stiffened. "She's...not dead." Even to his own ears, he didn't sound sure, because, truthfully, he wasn't sure.
Snoke shook his head with a sigh. "Poor, naïve little Jedi. I have agents all over the galaxy. I had them check on your mother after you attacked the Jedi Academy and leaving with your father's ship, but by the time they arrived, she had already died. Ultimately dying of a broken heart. Tragic. To be killed by her own son..."
Ben began to breathe hard, not wanting to listen anymore to the man. He didn't want to be near him. The darkness the man emitted seemed to reach out and swallow everything around him..."I didn't...I didn't mean to..."
"Oh, I believe you," Snoke said, "But, will your father, I wonder? He was ever so in love with her." Snoke's expression grew mocking.
Ben shook his head, willing with all of his might for Snoke to just go away. He even tried to use the Force, but with Snoke's powerful dark presence surrounding him, choking him, it was hard to maintain control over any of it. "You're lying!"
Snoke snorted in contempt. "That may be true." He agreed, "But, you will believe me. Of that, I assure you."
"No," Ben began again, shaking his head and glaring up at the hooded figure, opening his mouth to protest more. Instead, Snoke raised a pale, wrinkled hand, outstretching it towards Ben. "What...?" Ben began, but that's all he managed to get out before his head exploded with pain.
It felt as if cold hands had somehow reached into his head, ripped opened his brain, and began to draw out each memory that he had to examine it. He saw himself playing with Artoo. He saw his parents, his dad looking at his mom like she ruled his world. He saw his dad showing him how to fix things, saw his dad giving plastic ships to play with. Every birthday. Every happy moment, sad moment, even the boring moments.
All of it flashed before his eyes.
Then, the pain began intensifying, the memories began to morph and change. No longer were there happy memories. Some memories disappeared entirely, while others changed into something completely different. Each change that was created felt like a dagger was being stabbed repeatedly into his head, and he couldn't even see reality anymore. Just those changing memories.
It seemed to take years. Distantly, Ben was aware that someone was screaming—that he was screaming, squirming, trying to get away from the hand that was causing this pain to happen. But finally, as he reached the memories of him killing his mother, the pain began to crescendo, new memories forming in his head, until finally...
The world went black, and as he fell into the dark oblivion, the new memories swirling and throbbing in his brain, he felt something within him snap, something important, something...
He couldn't remember what, and darkness swallowed him, claiming him, before he could care enough to figure out what had just happened.
-
His dreams were full of flying through the stars with his father and his ship. He felt free. He was in control. As long as he could fly, he could do anything.
Soon, though, the dreams began to fade, and he was floating in in darkness. Wake up, someone was saying. It was a familiar voice, but he couldn't put a finger on whose it was. Wake up, Ben. Slowly, the darkness began to fade, replaced by a blinding white light. He squinted painfully, trying to adjust his eyesight. It took a while, but he eventually managed to clear his vision and finally see around him.
He was in a clean, white room. He lay on a large, comfortable bed, alone. He wore a plain blue shirt, and black sweats. Next to him, on the side table, were his old clothes, folded neatly, though they were still coated in dirt. He was hooked up to some machines of some sort, machines he didn't recognize. Slowly, he sat up, frowning as he looked around the room. He didn't remember how he'd gotten there, or where he was, or why he was even there. As he tried to think back, a sudden wave of pain hit his head, and he gasped, reaching up to gingerly touch his forehead.
With the pain beginning to fade, he decided to try to remember once the throbbing in his head stopped, and he reached over to his pajamas to try to figure out if he could come up with answers just by examining them.
A memory flashed. His mother, in danger. A man stood there, wearing black clothes, like the ones he was touching holding her, a lightsaber to her neck. The held the red lightsaber in his right hand, a strong grip around Leia's neck with his left arm. Ben focused on the scenery. The Jedi Academy...and his mother's stomach was still swollen, indicating she was still carrying Jaina.
The memory sent a fresh wave of agony, both through his head, but mostly through his heart. As if the clothes were on fire, he threw them across the room, breathing hard and shaking. His mother had always been kind to him, had always loved him. And, his father...
Another wave of fresh pain as he struggled to remember his father. He groaned, leaning back in the bed, clutching the bed sheets. Whatever had happened, he'd seriously gotten a knock to the head. Suddenly, the door opened and in stepped a nurse. She didn't smile as she approached him, going straight to the machines. Ben debated on asking her to see if she knew what was going on, but another figure entered the room that froze the question on his tongue.
Now, Ben was really confused. He tried to think back, to remember if his uncle had ever mentioned this man before, but once again he was hit with pain. He hissed, reaching up with his free hand to gingerly touch his head. "Why...What's happened to me?" Figure that out first, then figure out what exactly this man was to him.
A sad expression passed over the man's face, and he glanced at the nurse. He said something in a strange language, and the woman abruptly stopped what she was doing and left the room without another word. Once she was gone, the man sat down on the edge of Ben's bed, his body tight, as if he were expecting Ben to turn on him in an instant. "What do you remember, Ben?" Snoke asked, and something strange passed through his expression.
Ben hesitated. "Every time I try to remember, it hurts."
Snoke nodded as if he expected this. "The doctors said it would be a side effect of what happened to you, but you should be able to remember if you concentrate." Ben didn't know why the man didn't just tell him. He debated arguing, but something about the man told Ben that he wouldn't appreciate that. So, hesitantly, Ben forced himself to focus on the painful memories. At the first wave of pain, he wanted to retreat like he had the last few times he'd tried to remember, but as he focused, the memories became less hazy, sharpening into focus.
"My...mom died." He began, his mouth going dry at the memories. He quickly shoved those away. If he thought too much about it, he would start crying again, and he had a feeling that this man wouldn't like his tears. He didn't know why, since the man seemed to be nice, but something told him that if he so much as looked at the man wrong, he could get in trouble. "It was an accident, but it was my...my fault." His throat tightened, forcing himself to remember what happened after that. "My dad came home and...found out."
Something was wrong, though. He could feel it as he replayed the memory. But, how could he deny them? They were his memories, after all. "He got mad and blamed me. He..." Now, Ben stopped, replaying the memory, not sure if it really was real or not.
"Go on." The man implored gently, though there seemed to be an almost eager gleam in his eyes.
"He hurt me." The words felt wrong leaving his mouth. "Really badly. I thought he was going to kill me, so I ran away. I got lost in the woods, and I tripped and...I woke up here." His voice had gone soft, and he turned his gaze away from the man, staring off into the distance.
"Why would your father do such a thing to his own son?" The man sounded surprised, but Ben suspected that he'd known the answer already.
Ben frowned, forcing himself to remember further back. Other memories, lonely memories, began to form. "He...never paid much attention to me." It was a struggle to get the words out. He knew the memories were real, but they just felt so wrong. Perhaps they felt that way because he didn't want them to be real.
All he'd ever wanted was for his father, not just his mother, to love him. "He liked my unborn sister more. She would have been a lot like him." The memory of the attention his unborn sister got from his father...jealousy swelled within him. What had he ever done to deserve to be ignored? Why hadn't his father ever liked him? Was he such a disappointment to his father that he deserved to be treated like a stranger in his own family?
Conflict roared within him. His mind kept bouncing between trying to find a way that this was all just a terrible nightmare, and accepting what was happening. "What about your sister?" The man prompted.
Another painful lurch in his chest. "We never knew each other," he admitted, Again, that swell of jealousy. It should have been a familiar feeling by now, given everything he'd gone through but...it didn't feel familiar.
Why?
"Poor child," The older man said, and Ben turned his full attention back on him. His expression reflected pity, but there was still that strange glint in his eyes. "But, you are safe from all of that now."
Something still didn't seem right about the whole situation—other than the fact that he'd essentially murdered his own mother and his father had tried to kill him. "How did you know where to find me?" He tried to keep the suspicion from his voice. He didn't want to make his savior upset.
He didn't seem to take offense, though. "My dear boy, I've always taken an interest in you. You see, before you were born, your uncle made it seem like I was corrupted, that I had killed and bribed my way into power. As a result, I was driven into hiding. Now, I am trying to rid the world of the wrongs your uncle and his Jedi are doing to the world. When I heard of your birth, I thought maybe I could save you, and I had my agents watch you. When Ventress, my assistant, saw your father try to kill you, she saved you and brought you to me. You've been in a coma for the last two years."
"Two years?" He echoed, his voice disbelieving. Had his mother been dead for two years already? He didn't know what a coma was, but he couldn't remember a month going by. Apparently, coma's made you sleep for a really long time.
Snoke nodded gravely. "But, now you are safe. Your father and uncle will never find you, I assure you."
Unease settled in Ben's stomach. It was almost as if a part of him wanted his father to find him. How could he want that, though? He shuddered as he remembered the way his father had looked at him when he'd found out what had happened to his mother. The way he'd advanced on him...
It was suddenly hard to breathe. His chest felt heavy, and it took all of his control not to cry. He wouldn't do that, not yet, not while the man was still staring at him. "What....what happens now?"
The man seemed pleased with this answer. "Can you stand, Ben? I'd like to show you something."
Ben hesitated. "I haven't tried to yet, but..." He carefully threw back the covers. It took a moment, and when he was standing, he wobbled, but managed to stand.
"Very good." The man stood, turning, though he paused at the sight of his old clothes littered on the floor. "I thought I had those destroyed." His voice had suddenly changed. There was an edge to it, an edge that made Ben's chest tighten in fear, though he tried not to show it.
"It was there when I woke up." He replied, trying to sound normal.
Snoke stared at it for a moment longer before sighing. "Good help is so hard to find these days," he said as he began to leave the room, Ben following behind him.
Snoke led him through various corridors. Men and women in dark brown uniforms walked past, all of them looking like they were from some different galaxy. "Where are we?" He asked in confusion after they passed a particularly large group patrolling the hallway, their movements completely in sync.
"We call this the Starkiller Base," Snoke answered. Suddenly, they were entering into a dark room with a window facing an even larger, brighter room, though the floor of that room was a level below them so that Ben had to look down when Snoke led him to the window.
There were plenty of kids down there, perhaps twenty or thirty at most. They all wore baggy, light brown pants, with a darker brown t-shirt. They were all about his age, and they looked to be in a class about learning to fight. They kept their attention on a familiar woman with strange markings tugging the corners of her mouth, who was instructing them on how to do a cool-looking kick. The kids tried it, to varying degrees of success.
"These are other children I have saved from the Jedi." Snoke began to explain, "They're all like you. They have the Force. All of their parents rejected them because of their different abilities. I brought them all here as toddlers. My people, such as Ventress over there."
Ben took a closer look at her. She was supposedly the woman who saved him. Still, as he looked at her, he couldn't help but feel an intense dislike for the woman. Snoke was still talking. "They give these kids the ability to someday defeat the Jedi and bring peace back to the world."
Ben pulled his gaze away from the woman. Though some of the kids were clearly less skilled, there were some who picked Ventress' moves up rather quickly. One of them, a girl with dark brown hair and olive colored skin, caught Ben's attention. "That's cool I guess." Ben said, turning back to Snoke. "Why are you showing me this?"
Snoke faced Ben. "Because I want you to train with them. See, in three years, when all of you turn sixteen, you will engage in a competition. Whoever wins, will not only lead this team, but will also be my personal apprentice. There are a lot of kids down there and in my other hideouts across the galaxy who, because they've been here longer, will have an advantage over you." His stare intensified. "I have a feeling that won't last long, however. You are strong in the Force. If you apply yourself, you could easily defeat everyone and become my apprentice."
Ben was stunned. He glanced down at the kids below. He didn't know any of that stuff. "What if I don't win?" He asked softly, feeling like it was an important question.
Snoke didn't answer immediately. "You will be part of our army, but you won't be leading." Ben was unsure at first. He tried to imagine himself down there, but it seemed...strange. Different. He'd never thought...
"Think of it like this," Snoke interrupted his train of thought, "If you work hard enough and become my apprentice, someday you can get revenge on your father and destroy him."
That caught Ben's interest. Did Ben want to destroy his father? The memories flashed through his head again, bringing a fresh wave of anger and betrayal. His father had certainly wanted to destroy him. Why shouldn't he want to kill him, too? His father would surely kill him later if they ever met again. Why not at least prepare himself so that he could face him? Ben turned back to Snoke, a wave of determination hitting him. "Alright. I'll do it." He said, his voice full of conviction.
A slow smile crept across Snoke's lips, and something about that smile caused Ben to feel...almost sick for a moment. "Good, good." He said, satisfied. "Now, you'll need to get rid of your name for a new one."
Ben frowned, uncertain again. "What's wrong with Ben Solo?"
"It's the name your father gave you, the one he will be looking for you with. Surely, you don't want him to find you, hmm?"
He had a point. If he was going to make a new life for himself, he would need another name. "What name are you thinking of?"
Snoke considered this for a moment. "Kylo Ren." He finally said, and the name settled over Ben like a warm blanket. "From now on, you will be known as Kylo Ren."
"Kylo Ren," Ben said, tasting the name on his tongue. It was different but somehow, it oddly seemed to fit. "I like it."
"Good." Snoke said, putting a firm hand on Ben's shoulder, his smile widening. "Welcome to your new life."
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NICE LONG CHAPTER FOR ALL OF YOU PATIENT READERS!! Thank you so much for all your love and support! Just a few more chapters and everubjbg will fall into place and make sense regarding the Solo/Skywalker family for The Force Awakens!
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May the Force be with you, always!
M.S.
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