HOLY MOTHER OF SKYWALKER! I LOOOOVED your comments you guys! If Rhea was an actual person than a fictional character, she would get so much love from all of you <3 So here ya go with a new chapter!
You don't need to change how you look to be beautiful because you ARE beautiful. Inside and out <3 (>^-^)> <(^-^<)
Much love!! \m/
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Broken Hearts & Lonely Stars:
Chapter Eleven: A Heartless Warrior Against A Fragile Princess
Some say that no one can live life without having the slightest bit of love in them. Love would always be there in our hearts, waiting to blossom into a beautiful flower. A vulnerable beautiful flower unaware of the cruel world around it.
I stood at the threshold of the living room, aware of the eyes on me, feeling as if their very gazes cut through my skin, making me bleed out my own mistakes. I stood there as the girl they all knew. A girl I mustered up, rebuilding back my brick wall that once blocked any feelings after I let the dam inside of me crumble. Just standing there, I felt stronger as if Johnny's glare could hardly affect me as I turned my icy glare towards him, a smirk playing on my lips as those familiar eyes I once gazed into and shared many laughs widened.
It seemed I was getting that reaction lately.
After a few weeks of going through chemo, I was loosing weight and my black hair was thinning. Every time I took a shower, my fingers would be entangled with thick strands of my hair. At first, I was afraid. Afraid to even touch my hair, afraid to think that I was becoming Voldermort's reincarnation for an odd reason. I shook my head, scoffing at such childish thought. To be even frightened over a fictional character. I pulled down my beanie, hiding my thinning hair, hearing heels slapping against the wooden floor, knowing who it was.
"Rhea, sweetie," my mother called, entering the living room behind me. "Are you ready?"
I watched as Johnny's widened gaze turned to my mother and he quickly got to his feet. "Mrs. Daniels? What a surprise!"
My smirked widened, knowing my mother would scold him for not acknowledging her presence when she helped me take down the packed boxes to her car.
"Jonathon," she begun, firmly placing her hands on her hips as her eyes narrowed on him. "Did your parents ever taught you any manners? The disappointment I see when you mostly acknowledge those alcohol beverages and cigarette packs and not your best friend who doesn't have the energy to even lift one box! If your mother - God, bless her soul - was here, she wouldn't hesitate to pull your ear and drag you to aid us!"
I rolled my eyes as I turned to my mother, seeing her in her Mother-knows-best attitude. "Mom, just go to the car and wait for me there. I need to talk to my fellow friends," I bit out the last part as I glanced back at four people.
My mother opened her mouth to argue but quickly shut it when I turned my glare at her. She nodded, meekly and left, leaving me alone with my so called "friends."
"I didn't know you needed your mother to fight your battles, Rhea," Johnny chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.
I folded my arms against my chest, the urge to punch him gnawed at me but I chose to ignore it. This wasn't the time to fight and lose in the end. I was too weak and loosing against Johnny or any person was a humiliation. With my reputation, fighting was my hobby not something to lose in.
"Nothing to say, sweetheart?" Johnny smirked, running his fingers through his tousled hair. "I gotta say, this is a new Rhea I truly like. No comebacks just a quiet, little mouse. You know, I rather like screamers than whimpers."
"You're disgusting, Johnny!" Bridget screeched, slapping his bicep as she approached me. Her golden brown hair fell over her bare shoulders as she wore a strapless spring dress that flowed all the way to her feet, hugging her curves. I tore my gaze away from her breasts and into those chocolate brown eyes. "Rhea, how you've been? I heard--"
"Shut it," I snapped at her, coldly. "Listen to me loud and clear, Bridget. I don't give a fuck about you nor what escape those vile diseased lips. If you really want me back in your life like you say so, then, keep those legs sealed shut like your lips. I bet that'll be hard to do considering you can't keep your mouth close."
Her mouth fell agape as she stared at me in shock.
I didn't care anymore. She needed to know that I wasn't her little play toy anymore. Yes, I still craved her body against mine. I craved those lips like a ravenous beast waiting for her to crawl into the devil's den. Even though I missed our little sleepless nights, I wouldn't walk on nails to go back to her. I looked back at both a smirking Chelsea and a surprised Johnny.
"Well, I'm very surprised to say that this was my longest friendship. A friendship full of lies. How long have you guys kept me in the shadows without telling me that you had your different lives? Without including me into your new 'cliques' and relationships, hmm? I'm done with this high school bullshit. I was expecting to be told that I was replaced but not be backstabbed. You wanna know my little dirty secret?" I chuckled, "I have cancer!" I threw my hands up with a grin plastered on my face as I watched them gasp except Johnny who hardened his gaze on me. "So, guys, keep living your 'Rhea-drama-free-life' and go fuck yourselves. How peachy!" I rolled my eyes, flipping them off as I walked away and out of their lives for the last time.
I walked through the hallway, slowly approaching my room. I heard soft murmuring as I grew closer to my room, hardly finding any recognition in that voice until I stood in the doorway of my room. It's been a long time since I was back here. The walls covered with band posters, skateboard shelves with CD's and action figures on them, fliers taped to the wall of ska/punk/hardcore shows. Sitting on my bed was a child with her black hair framing her face, ringlets reaching her elbows. She was dressed in a yellow dress as she read something from the familiar black velvet covered book in her hands.
"...We all have our secrets. Hiding them within us, not letting no one see our hidden scars, our healing wounds. Our pasts haunts us like our nightmares wanting us to show our fear. I'm one of those people who conceal themselves from being hurt. Pushing others away before they taint my mind with their love. I'm not normal. If I was I would never be in this vulnerable state. My room has seen my tears, my hurt, my true heart. I'm a soldier, unafraid of anything. Ready to shoot you as you come closer to my barrier. I don't want to get hurt like before. I don't want to let someone else in and get my scars and wounds reopened. I want to be sane again. I want to smile without forcing myself to do it. Let me wither in my own misery and die gracefully..."
"Who in the world told you to be in my room?!" I snapped, anger burning in my veins as I glared at the girl who's eyes widened in fear.
"I-I-I--"
I snatched the book away from her. "Get out before I beat the crap out of you--" I was cut off when she wrapped her tiny arms around me, making me stiffen underneath her hold.
"I don't want you to die, Rhea!"
And as I gazed down at my little sister. My fragile Lily, I realized that throughout my heartless life, I never once told her how much I loved her nor a happy birthday. Instead, I pushed her away with everyone else and become a shadow in this world while her role models slowly walked away, leaving her alone with no one to help her along the way. I rose my arms and embraced her, kissing the crown of her head just like my mother did to me.
"I..," I begun but stopped. I know I couldn't promise her that I won't die. I couldn't even say it out loud just by hearing her heartbreaking sobs leaving trails on my shirt.
All my life I thought I was better off dead. How leaving everyone was the best but as I gazed at my Lily, I knew I had to make this right. I might had left my friends behind and would live each day from now on with no friendship at all, I had my little sister who not only wanted friendship but her sister, I had to make it right for her.
I unwrapped her arms from me and grabbed her hand, wiping her tears with my thumb as I smiled softly at her. "I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for everything I'd done to you." I bowed my head, resting my forehead on her shoulder.
"Just don't leave again," she whispered. "I don't know what I'll do if you left. Promise you won't leave, Rhea. Please promise me."
I looked back at her, holding her gaze as her tears begun to fall again. I forced a plastic smile as I forced that one word through my clenched teeth, knowing just like my mother, it wouldn't hold anything knowing the hidden truth. "Promise."
The worst thing about lying to your little sister is seeing the joy in their eyes when they believe you.