Author: llama_butt
Book: Seek the Way
The Flow:
To be honest. From the first chapter, I was going to stop reading. I'll tell you why: your sentence structure is not in sync. Your punctuation needs major adjustments. The dialogical aspect to it needs to be outlined correctly for your story to be effective. But I continued to read it despite all that, you know why? You have amazing imagery and symbolic techniques that kept me going. I constantly envisioned what took place, from your amazing descriptions. You don't have many grammatical mistakes, hence why the story line resonated with me. And, frankly, it is a melancholy piece, a work of art.
The characters who resonated with me:
Ben&Mel
Depression. This daunting feeling all of us submerge into for many different reasons. You've hinted throughout the book this predominant theme. It was gradual, but your words foreshadowed the ending. We often blame ourselves for inflicting pain on others, losing them in situations that where out of our control to begin with. I love, truly LOVED, how you blended an optimistic person with, I'd say, a mixture of a realistic/pessimistic person so well together. Ben was her vice. Mel was his reason for living. But love isn't enough, love is just a feeling, our past/present/future is what haunts us the most. Mel's depression couldn't be extinguished from this sentimental swirl of light that Ben engulfed her with. It was deeper than that for her. He didn't manage to give her a reason for living, but he cooled down this burning sensation she constantly felt. You demonstrated a love that exists with no conditions. That's just bitter-sweet, but it is the sweetest part of it that I felt, ended this short-story in a good note. Well done!
Rank: 8/10
Authors note: Edit this book. It's a beautiful, heart-wrenching story, that highlights the detrimental impact of depression. You have eloquently portrayed it through your writing style. But it honestly deserves to be modified, to allow your readers, without disruptions, from the main conventions of writing, to explore this beautiful love story.