🌸 via menswera on ao3 !!
🌼 go read angelic, wind me up and let me go, and basic space !!
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Let's start with how everything ended, the chain of events that lead us to... whatever this is.
Matty was drunk, which was not a rare occurrence, eyes glued to the tv screen everything around him was chaos, it was thirty minutes before a show everyone was getting ready setting up all of the instruments and the screams from the crowd getting louder. Matty! Matty! They called. It seemed so ridiculous how someone could ever look up to him or was even excited to see him, he is what people should avoid being. He became such a warped version of the wonderful, talented person he once was.
He took another sip of the glass of wine, so use to the taste it was no longer bitter on his tongue. someone blocking the tv, he screamed angry before realizing it was George with his 'I'm worried about you' face, upset and disappointed. A grunt coming from the shorter boy getting up and heading to the bathroom to avoid the same speech about how he has to take care of himself and how this is not just for him but for the band and the fans. In all honesty, he didn't care about the band, he didn't give a rat's ass about the fans, this started out as something he enjoyed but then turned into something that he had lost complete interest in. This was just like school, he knew that he was obligated to go but still complained about it as if that would change anything.
He was about to close the door and successfully escape from the only words that had any importance in his mind but George just had to block it with his gigantic feet.
"Matt what are you doing? You have less than thirty minutes to get ready and you're already drunk" Matty look down in guilt he had fallen to a new low he didn't even knew existed. "I thought you were actually changing, but that was my fault for just imagining that's one day your word would mean anything."
"Don't say that George, I am changing I just need a little boost to give a better show, you know for the fans." Adam and ross were running behind them to go get dressed.
"Good news everyone Matty actually cares about other people and how they feel!" He said sarcastically, throwing his arms up.
"Shut up you guys, I'm sick of your fucking arguments that always interfere with the show, it's always the same: you don't talk to each other for two days then we have to cancel interviews, and tell the label we aren't ready with the new album because the princess and her boyfriend are non-stop fighting!" Adam screamed "and it's the same shit every time I'm sick of it, have you even started writing any new songs?" Ross placing a hand on his shoulder whispering something in his ear making him calm down.
"I-I... no... well It's just that I haven't had the time you know, so I think another month or so" he tucked his hands in his front pockets and concentrated on the fans shouting 'MATTY, MATTY, MATTY' it got louder and louder in his head, he couldn't hear anything else but that. Adam looking infuriated his mouth kept moving and everyone around looked scared but he didn't hear anything. Adam just sighed and flipped him off before leaving to take his place on stage, Matty's eyebrows drew together and he was thinking about asking someone around him what had just happened but didn't do much about it.
Matty still not ready and completely forgetting the lyrics to every song that belonged to him, smashed the cup on the floor, glass shattering across the floor, and drinking directly from the bottle now in an almost impressive five minute he finished most of it. Someone from the crew whose face was unfamiliar was now screaming at him to go on stage and leaning down to pick up the broken glass with a very pissed off expression on his face.
He slowly walked on the stage forgetting they were at the highlight of their carrier. Turning to look at the crowd and listening to the screams even louder 'MATTY, MATTY, MATTY' it was all so close. Everything was pitch black with just static being played on screens behind them, in a few seconds there would be incandescent rectangles above them and 'Love me' would start to play, he knew all of this by memory but for some reason tonight was terrifying and his mind was clouded. He held on tightly to the mic aquiver with fear, his stomach aching and vision blurring he counted to three and the opening riff started playing. He tried to do his iconic little dance but all he could do was shake his head and stumble across the stage getting strange looks from his bandmates.
He had already missed his queue and when he tried to sing nothing but out of tune mumbles came out causing everyone to stop playing. Matty looked mad about this and ran back to the center of the stage. "What's wrong guys why did you stop...we-we were having a good time. Right Guys?" he got a roar back from the crowd thinking this is a joke. The ache in his stomach returning and his head now turning. "Holdup guys... I'm feeling funny" he chuckled he sat down throwing the mic to the side making an incredibly unpleasant sound as it hit the ground, he covered his mouth then went to the side of the stage to empty the contents of his stomach in front of more than 18,000 people.
"Much better, so who's ready to start?" this time getting no response and a few people from backstage running up to Matty asking him if he's okay or if he needed help.
He just cleaned his mouth with the sleeve of his dirty sweater and just got up as if nothing had happened "Oh I'm fine, leave me alone" earning laughter from the crowd so they tried to continue and they had to skip that song and continued with 'UGH!', the same thing happened nonsense and mumbling followed by giggles and apologies. This caused a lot of the people to leave the venue but that didn't worry Matty in the slightest, he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and made his way behind the drum kit and put his hand all around George's lower stomach, causing him to blush a bright red. Matty looked up and smirked "Don't worry love I'm looking for your lighter" he nodded and threw him at him clearly angry.
"unbelievable" adam whipered as he took off his guitar and got off stage followed by Ross and later George. Matty was very thrown off by this taking a drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke warm up his lungs before letting it out and turning back to the audience seeing angry and sad faces from everyone some people even crying because of how exciting they were, this made matty feel a stong pressure on his chest and the feeling of his legs giving in. Hands shaking, he had let everyone down again.