The ride to Hogwarts doesn't last long enough.
Audra's beginning to find that that's the way things always seem to go, like the more determined you are to make something stay the faster it slips away. She spends it sitting with Lee and the twins, watching the shadows race through the halls through the windows. She's curled into Fred's side, her head on his chest so she can feel the vibrations of his voice rumbling through his lungs when he talks. Just the usual, he says, while comparing his summer with Lee, and Audra has to bury her face in his shoulder to hide a smile. Exploding things, driving mum and dad crazy, you know. Nothing exciting.
"Are you okay?" Fred nudges her with his knee, staring in that openly affectionate way that makes something in her chest ache.
"Just thinking." The carriage hits a bump in the road, jolting her forward. Fred catches her, but doesn't let her go, just pulls her across to sit so close to him she's practically in his lap. It's times like this she thinks of things she'd never paid attention to before- exactly how many freckles cover his nose, about the peculiar color in his eyes, about the chip in his front tooth you can only see when he gives you his brightest smile. "Things are going to be different this year."
Fred nods, and he places her hand in his lap so he can trace the lines of her palms. They had done fake palm reading a few weeks ago, and ever since then he's been looking at them to see if they've changed. Audra isn't any good at divination, so she made up fake forecasts- long lives, many wives, a million cats and ten kids each. The twins however, were brilliant at divination, and told her fortune in a slightly more serious tone- a long life, an everlasting love, wealth and riches, struggle and pain. It hadn't been meant to be real, but Audra had watched them predict other things (quidditch matches, the weather, which of them will get the flu first- with enough accuracy to pay attention.
They bump along the long dirt lane until the castle rises up in front of them, a monster of stone with lights shining out of its windows. Audra hesitates before climbing down from the carriage, staring across at all the people she now must pay attention to and act happy around- Draco and Pansy, Emmeline, Clary, Hermione and Harry and Ron, Angela and Katie. "Hey." Fred tugs on her hand, and she jumps down to him, letting him steady her when the shock of the impact threatens to knock her to the ground. "Stop worrying. It's going to be fine."
"I know." She smiles up at him, and he looks down at her in a way that makes her think that he doesn't quite believe her. "I'm not worried. I'll be with all of you."
"Yeah, well." He rocks back on his heels, and then before she can react, he ducks his head to kiss her cheek. It was one of the gestures of careless affection she's seen other people give each other, where you care about each other so thoughtlessly and effortlessly that they move around each other as easily as breathing. Fred is an expert at this easy exchange, but Audra isn't, so she just squeezes his hand in what she hopes he takes to be a thank you and moves off into the great hall on her own.
Draco has saved a spot for her. Audra's face splits in a smile when she sees him, and he waves a hand in a lazy gesture of greeting to beckon her over to him, as if she could have possibly not been able to find them. Despite everything, she really has grown fond of him, and it's with real love that she wraps him in a hug and shoves him over so she can have more room. They've grown close to each other in a way that she wouldn't have thought possible, over nights spent playing wizard chess while his family talks and parties where they lurk in the same shadows to avoid being noticed, days where they scribbles notes and letters that they exchange constantly. She's never really treated him like family or tried to be anything more than civil, but now that they've spent time together, she wishes she'd been around to help him down the right path while they still had time.
"Everything good?" He asks her, and Audra knows that everything good in this case now means how'd that super secret spy mission for the dark lord go.
"Draco, everything is excellent." She puts her head on the table for a moment, exhaustion creeping over her (constant Occlumency is tiring) and then straightens back up with a smile. She drums her fingers on the table, more out of nerves than anything, and listens to the sound of her nails click. "Just wonderful."
It doesn't take long for the feast to get under way, even with the sorting. Dumbledore stands to introduce the teachers, and Audra is just staring to dream about the treacle fudge and mashed potatoes when the new woman stands and interrupts, preparing to make a speech.
Audra doesn't like speeches.
Or new people.
She lets her eyes run across the rest of the teachers instead- to Dumbledore, who does not look as welcoming or as young as normal, McGonagall with frown lines deep on her face, and Snape, who's already staring back at her like he could feel her looking. She catches sight of Emmeline, who gives her a grin and the middle finger, and then turns to look at the twins, who stop whispering long enough to wink at.
The new person, Umbridge, ends with a smile. A scattering applause came up from the students, mostly from the Hufflepuffs. "What was that about?" Draco whispers, looking around at those nearest to them. He's gotten used to being able to look towards Audra for answers, but this time, she has none.
"No idea," She mutters, and suddenly she's not so hungry anymore, which makes her even angrier than the fact that Umbridge was dressed in six different shades of pink. "But I doubt its anything good."
Emmeline is already in the dormitory when Audra comes in. It's the first time that they've even laid eyes on each other since that party over the summer (the endless wine, the tiara crushed onto her curls, two girls in dresses of emerald green and blood red, a body on the floor, a snake winding around ankles) and Audra clings onto the doorframe to steady herself. The tension in the room was pulled tight enough that it was like a rubber band about to break, and Audra almost feels like suffocating in the silence. But then Emmeline lets her wand fall to the floor and hurtles toward Audra, throwing her arms around her and clutching onto her robes. "You're alright. You're okay, thank Merlin." She pulls back just long enough to look her in the eyes and then chokes out a relieved laugh. "I was so worried."
It seems strange that Emmeline was the one that was worried when she had been going to meet with the Dark Lord every night and Audra had been enjoying Weasley family dinners. "And so are you." Audra clings onto her even tighter, not sure she could make herself let go. Here, finally, was someone who understood the world she was being forced to live in, who was walking the same path Audra was (though admittedly they were both heading towards different destinations). For better or worse, Emmeline was Audra's best friend, and here was a perfect reminder of what it means to have a best friend- someone who holds on even when it might be easier to let go. "Was it awful?"
Emmeline doesn't meet her eyes when she finally breaks away, bending over to pick up her wand and shove it deep into her pocket. On the inside of her arm, the dark mark flashes. "It wasn't too bad." She shrugs and smiles a hopeless smile that doesn't reach her eyes, then nods towards the empty bed. "You think she listened to you? Went on the run?"
There wasn't any pretending, or any excuses that could be made. Ariel had not been on the platform, or at dinner, and now her side of the room was completely empty of any belongings. "Yes," She said, and remembered the night where the everyone was ushered out of the kitchen but Audra and George had leaned over the bannister to stare down into the hallway, only to find Ariel on the welcome mat, looking lost and alone. She had stood there clutching onto her suitcase until Molly ushered her behind closed doors. It was the last time Audra had seen her. She's somewhere in America now, in the middle of a muggle city where she can be swallowed up by all the different faces. Hopefully somewhere warm." "I think she did."
"Well, at least we won't have to deal with her damn cat this year." The cat really was a menace, but the joke fell flat. Emmeline dumped the contents of her make up begging in one of Ariel's drawers. "He's not going to find her, is he?"
"No." Audra doesn't need to wonder if it was the truth or not, when she knows its the Orders handiwork. "Never."
"I'm probably going to do something stupid." Emmeline's voice broke up the quiet just as Audra was beginning to fall asleep. Audra turned onto her back and sighed, glaring at the place where she knew Emmeline's voice had come from.
"Okay."
"I'm going to talk to Clary." Which, okay, Audra had to admit that that was something that definitely qualified as stupid. "I still love her."
Audra sat up, yanking the curtains away from her bed so she could stare over at Emmeline. "Do you remember what we did this summer?" Audra realized her voice could be described as a frantic screeching, and took a deep breath to calm herself. "And who was always yelling at me about making the right friends? Clary is not exactly what we would call Dark Lord approved!"
"Well, yeah." Emmeline waved a hand in front of her dismissively, swatting away Audra's words like she would an annoying bug. "But we loved each other a lot, and she was willing to fight for us before. So if she's still up to it... you were the one who kept saying that we all had choices. I'm not going to take hers away."