Sofia's PoV
I watched as her feet swayed in the air, while she was resting on her stomach on my bed, doing her homework. My own feet were propped up on my desk while my text book was splayed in my lap.
I wasn't sure when things changed between us. I wasn't sure at all, to be honest with you. Sammy was the greatest person I've ever known. I cared for her so much. She made me feel safe and yes, she made me happy.
"Everything okay?" Sammy whispered, now in front of me. I must've zoned out briefly.
I found myself doing that a lot too. Just thinking randomly about different things. I wasn't sure if it was normal or not, seeing as I was in the company of a very beautiful woman and my mind was elsewhere. I've noticed her doing it to, lately. I looked down at the ring she gave me a month ago and smiled softly. It really did mean a lot.
"Sofi?" Sammy shifted and took my hands, pulling me to lie with her on my bed. "Is everything okay?"
I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of her hand cupping my cheek. When I opened them, her eyes were still the light blue, her face full of concern. "I'm fine," I whispered thickly.
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow and smiled softly. "Because the frown on your face is saying otherwise."
"Oh," I smiled sheepishly and shrugged, leaning to lie on my side, propping my head up with my hand, "I'm just thinking."
"About?"
"You." I said honestly. "You know, how much I care for you."
Sammy grinned and leaned over to capture my lips in a soft kiss. "Ditto."
I gave her a weak smile and flopped back onto my back, staring at the ceiling. I felt the bed shift and then I felt her body weight on me, straddling my waist. She descended down towards and kissed me again, but with more passion. I moaned softly at the movement and held her close as our mouths explored each other.
Camila was currently heading to B.C. to play with her team in the Play-Offs. Lauren was also in B.C. because her mom and dad were back for the break and wanted their daughter time. Kyla was spending the week with Austin and his family and my parents were still at work.
Even with Sammy there with me, I felt alone.
We found ourselves at square one since we started the physical part in our relationship. We made love a couple of times within the last month, but rarely did it get that far. We found ourselves at the point where we'd make out heavily and then stop before things progressed further. Neither of us talked about it. We never talked about it, we just went back to sharing stories, talking about school or watching the current program on the TV in front of us.
I was all of sudden met with cold air on my lips when I realized Sammy pulled away from our kiss and was staring at me. "You were thinking," she pointed out.
I swallowed and sat up, nodding my head wordlessly.
"Me too," she sat up as well and ran a hand through her hair.
Silence struck the room and we both sat there, staring at the door. When did everything change for us?
"Sofi," Sammy turned and grabbed my hand. Her eyes were full of unanswered questions and so were mine.
"Do you love me?" I asked before she had a chance to ask me first. The look on her face was of shock but she never blinked.
"Of course I love you," she breathed and moved to tuck my hair behind my ears. There was a 'but' forming on her lips and I closed my eyes, getting ready to hear it. "You're amazing Sofi, you're beautiful and I care so deeply for you. You know I'd do anything for you."
I sighed, taking a deep breath. "But you're not in love with me," I dared to look at her, "are you?"
We never said the four letter word to each other before. Which I was thankful for in a way, knowing that it may have been a lie. A lie that would've been hard to forgive in the long run.
I felt my chest tighten. It wasn't because I'd be heartbroken if she told me the truth, I just knew that out of nowhere, this great relationship was about to end. She didn't say anything. I took her hand and held it to my lips. "It's okay," I whispered hoarsely, "Sam, it's okay."
"How can it be okay?" Sammy stood up and shook her head, pacing the room. "Jesus Sofia, I tried so hard. I tried so hard to love you like you deserved to be loved and I," her shaky breath made her voice crack slightly, "you mean everything to me. You have to believe me."
And I did.
"I do," I got up and wrapped my arms around her neck. "I really do."
"I want to," she whispered, "I want to love you like that Sofi, I really do."
"That makes the both of us," I pulled back, "you're really not alone in this."
Silence.
I brushed my lips over hers again and wiped the tears that were running down her face as she was mirroring my actions.
"So this is it," she whispered against my lips, our noses bumping against each others.
"Yea," I breathed, closing my eyes tightly.
After we calmed down a bit, Sam grabbed her stuff and made her way home.
I cried.
I was once again alone.
But I found it heart warming to know that Samantha Taylor was the first person to show me the world in her eyes, with her heart.