"Kiss Estelle."
Eren almost stumbled off of the log, his face a deep red. "Wh-what?"
"I said to kiss her, idiot. For thirty seconds."
"Ymir," he shook his head in head in protest. "I can't do that to her."
"But it's okay with you, isn't it, Estelle?" She tests, lowering her eyes at me.
I don't reply, and she smirks. "Then it's settled."
Eren faces me, but looks half hesitant. "I'm sorry," he mouths.
I feel my face distort into a displeased frown. I haven't ever been kissed by anyone other than Levi.
Eren puts two fingers on my chin, tilting my head up so that I'm facing him. He brings my face towards his and I mentally scream at him and Ymir.
Just as Eren's hand goes in my hair and he has both of our heads cocked in the air, his hand pulls out of my locks violently, tugging my hair.
After a few seconds with still no contact on my lips, I see Eren being roughly pulled back by his arm, the one that was in my hair in Levi's grasp.
"Would you just get the fuck off of me?" Eren grumbles, struggling to undo Levi's grasp.
"The game's over," Levi growls, glaring at Eren. "You're coming to my office tonight."
"What? I didn't do anything wrong," Eren protests.
Everybody gets up, brushing the dirt off of their pants. I put my hands up to my lips, thankful but confused.
Hanji begs to stay a little longer but Levi doesn't have it. We all take our leave on our horses and I look down while going.
"I'm sorry," Krista pulls up to me with an apologetic frown. "I didn't think Ymir would go that far..."
"It's okay," I give her an encouraging smile. "Really."
"I'm glad," she strokes her horses mane and goes back to Ymir.
I bite as I look forward at Eren, who looks annoyed as he rides aside Levi.
This is all my fault, I think to myself, sighing.
I can't help but wonder what Levi has been thinking all day. He's looked irritated, but otherwise, he was mostly expressionless. I'd only seen him like that one time before.
• Flashback •
Levi and I walked through the markets, picking up fruits and spices as we went.
"Oh, Levi?" I called. "Do you think I should get these? They're on sale."
"Oh?" He inspected the potatoes carefully. "If you'd like them..."
"Okay," I flashed him a grin and dropped three in my basket.
"Estelle?" Somebody asked from behind me. I turned around, expecting to see Levi. Instead I saw Joshua, a fellow classmate.
"Josh?" I questioned.
"Y-yeah," He began rubbing the back of his neck. "You look nice."
"Oh, uh, thanks," my face reddened and I played with my fingers.
"It's coincidental that you're here, actually. I wanted to ask you something."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Do you have plans this Saturday?"
"Oh, n-"
"Yes," Levi cut me off. "She has plans with me."
"I do?" I muttered curiously.
"Yes, you do." His voice was sharp as a knife and cold as ice.
"I see," Josh grinned awkwardly. "I'll be seeing you around then."
He headed the other direction and I looked back towards Levi, who was staring at Josh blankly.
"Are you okay?" I said. "What was that even about?"
"Nothing," he replied quickly, and grabbed me by the shoulders, pulling me towards him. "Let's go home."
I blushed at the way he called it 'home', even though it basically was our home, where we spent all of our free time together.
"Yeah," I bury my face in his jacket. "Home."
---
[ Eren's Point of View ]
I fidget on the seat as Levi locks the door behind me. Just arriving moments ago, he didn't hesitate to drag me across the floor immediately until we end up in his office.
He turns around with a glare before walking towards me, hitting me in the jaw.
I antipate it will hurt, and it does, but I find amusement in it. It makes me feel like he's doing it because I won, because I'm the one who got her.
"You idiot," he spits. "Do you think she wanted you to put your disgusting hands all over her all night?" Another blow goes to my jaw, and this time I wince.
"She didn't seem to mind," I give him a grin through my soon-to-be bruised expression. "She's the one who said yes to going with me, anyway."
This time he kicks me in the stomach and I spit out blood. "Do you think she'd like this?" I ask. "And we have a mission tomorrow. Do you think this will go without notice?"
He stands silently for a few moments, not facing me.
I start feeling brave, adrenaline going through me. "What do you think you could give her that I couldn't? I love her."
He begins shaking, veins popping in his neck and forehead.
"I could provide her a family, an eternity of happiness. Comfort and support."
I dig my fingernails into my palms and finish, "I could give her what she deserves."
"Shut the fuck up!" He yells, putting his fist to my chin again. This time I stand up and push him into the door. It doesn't seem to hurt him, but it got him off of me.
"Why do you think she's yours, anyways? If she was, she wouldn't have agreed to coming out with me."
"Are you still on this?" He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "We both know who she'd choose."
"But is it really about who she chooses?" I test. "Don't you want her to have the person who's right for her? Who can give her more?"
I watch as his eyes grow more hollow. His whole body tenses as I walk over to the door softly. I listen as a sob sounds from behind me, hearing a huge crash from inside as I begin roam the halls.
---
[[ Hanji's Point of View ]]
"Eren?" I mutter as I run my hand through my loose hair. "What was that sound?"
He looks a little surprised to see me awake. I push my glasses farther up on the bridge of my nose, and squint as I adapt to the light. "What's going on? Your face is bruised."
"The sound came from Captain's office," he says quickly. "I'm going to bed."
"Oh, alright, then."
I pull my hair up quickly and walk into Levi's door without giving him any warning. When I open the door, I gasp aloud.
The entire room has been torn apart, his chair thrown lazily beside the door, his mattress against the window. Pens and paper are sprawled all across the floor and his desk is turned on the side. "Levi?" I call.
I get no response, and I look around his office. "Levi, are you in here?"
Balancing myself on my toes, I bend over and find a leather book on the ground, marked with a red ribbon working as a bookmark.
I open the book and see scribbled cursive and recognize it as Levi's. Most of the words are crossed out, and I can hardly read anything. Multiple pages are torn out, and the ones that are still in are either empty or not legible.
On closer inspection, I notice the format of the writing. They're all in the form of notes or letters, all beginning with 'Estelle,",
I stand from my crouched position and put the book under my arm, turning off his light and closing the door softly behind me.
Roaming the cooridors, I find no sign of him, even though I checked each hallway and room that wasn't already occupied by a squad member.
"Levi," I whisper, searching the entrance. I walk into the kitchen again, and sense movement.
"Levi?" I try again, looking under the table.
Something moves under the sink, and I cock an eyebrow in suspicion. I open the pantry and find Levi, curled up with his arms around his knees.
"What the hell are you doing?" I ask. "How can you even fit in that?"
"Could you fuck off?" He groans.
"Come out from there, you look ridiculous."
"Don't look at me, Hanji."
"What?" I feel more confused at him calling me by my name than his request.
He climbs out of the cramped space and I notice his eyes are hollow but a little puffy, a few drying specks of water on his shirt.
No, not water, tears.
"What's wrong?" I grab a tissue from the cabinet and hand it to him. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," he takes the tissue and cleans up his shirt.
"Why were you under there?"
"I was... thinking."
"Thinking? In a cramped space like that?"
"I prefer thinking in small spaces."
"Why's that?"
"Because then you have the false security of believing nothing else is out there. As though everything is right in front of you if you look hard enough, because only air surrounds you."
"Oh," I feel a little surprised at his statement. I pull the leather book out from under my arm and show it to him. "And what's this?"
His eyes widen and his lips part. "Why do you have that?"
"I found it in your room, I was concerned. Did something happen?"
He looks down and shakes his head. "No."
"Your room is a huge mess. Did you do that?"
"No."
"Why are you lying? Eren told me yourself that you were in his room..."
His body tenses as I say Eren's name and I remember that Eren was the one coming out of his room in the first place. Did Eren do something to Levi?
I think through the day, remembering Eren's slightly friendly attitude towards Estelle. "Don't tell me you're jealous of Eren..."
"Jealous?" Levi looks up at me, his eyes slightly astray. "Are you crazy?" He begins laughing, putting his hand up to his mouth, eyes widened. "Jealous?"
"Levi," I'm surprised by his out of character behaviour. "What's going on here?"
As he continues laughing, I look through the book again, opening it to the page marked with the red ribbon. Inside, the ribbon hugs a photograph to a paper, probably the only paper inside that you could read.
The photograph is of a younger Levi being kissed on the cheek by a just-as-young Estelle, her hair tied back with a ribbon the same colour of the one holding it to the paper. His lips are in a straight line as they always have been, but his eyes look more gentle. Estelle has a grin on her face and her cheeks are a bright red, her eyes shimmering in the light from the background.
On the paper are words not marked in letter format, it looks more like a journal entry.
Levi looks up, noticing what I'm doing.
"Don't read that," he warns, his expression serious. "Please."
I scan over it quickly, but don't read over many of the words. "Then tell me what happened," I test.
"Just give that to me, please, Hanji."
"Will you tell me?"
He looks reluctant, but then nods quickly. "Whatever you want, just give it to me, please."
I bow my head and hand it to him.
"Now tell me, what's the situation?"
A few moments go by before he finally speaks. "I think I love Estelle."
"Oh?" I can't help but grin. "And this is a bad thing?"
"Eren knows he loves Estelle, and is a lot less of a little bitch than I am."
"And what's your point?"
"What?"
"Well," I lean my hands back on the table behind me. "Do you think Estelle likes Eren?"
"Didn't you see them today?"
"That was a dare," I mutter.
"Not that," he grumbles. "He was clinging to her all day."
"So that's it then?"
"Yeah, that's basically it. And he'd be the better choice for her."
I grin for a few minutes, just looking up at the ceiling.
"You're really creeping me out. I just need advice, okay?"
"Well, there's not much to be offered. It's more simple than you think it is."
"Just tell me what to do, shitty glasses."
I don't reply for a few moments, expecting something more polite.
"Please," he begs.
I push my glasses farther up the bridge of my nose and smirk. "Fight for her."