Lauren's PoV
I bit my lip as green eyes looked back at me. I couldn't back-pedal this one, could I?
Madison laughed, tossing her head back as she slapped her knee. "Oh God that's awesome!"
I blinked. "Awesome?"
"Well yea, I mean Camila Cabello is the hottest chick Austin's ever dated and it turns out that she's into women more?" She laughed even more as I sat there completely confused. It was all so twisted.
"Madison, I didn't say Camila was gay," I said firmly, keeping my eyes on the ice. I noticed Camila was back in the penalty box and I smirked, she was feisty on the ice.
"Whatever," Madison calmed down, "I'm not going to tell anyone about you and Camila if you don't tell anyone about Trixie and me," she held her hand towards me so I would shake on it.
"What makes you think that anything's going on between Camila and I?" I challenged.
She shrugged. "Trixie mentioned her suspicions."
I knew that girl was trouble.
Sighing, I took Madison's hand and shook it, leaning forward while tightening my grip on her hand, "if this leaks out I'll know whose ass to beat down," I whispered harshly.
Clearing our throats we both sat back in our chairs in mutual agreement. Once the buzzer went off to announce the game was over, the whole arena started cheering. Southwood Scorpions won. 14-3.
I got up, doing up my coat. I had to get out of there before I ran into Austin. "Well, it was nice meeting you."
Madison stood and nodded. "Trixie's going to sleep before practice tonight, would you like to hang out for a bit?"
I thought about that for a second. It beat going home. I just needed time. "Sure," I smiled softly.
Madison grinned as we made our way through the crowd and out of the building.
I wasn't sure how long I'd try and keep to myself. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Camila, especially after what happened. I just couldn't deal with Austin right now. We were best friends growing up, I could tell the guy anything and knew it'd be kept safe. He always covered for me when I was skipping out past my curfew. He was like a brother to me.
I was just so in love with his cousin and it hurt me knowing that I wasn't only hers.
I was scared. I couldn't ruin our family.
Yet I couldn't just let Camila go that easily. She not only had my heart, she now had my body and soul.
- - - -
Was it Sunday night already? I looked across the dinner table as she sat there, eating her peas politely. She told me she hated peas but that was my girl, eating them in all politeness. Her eyes connected with mine and I swallowed, dropping my gaze.
"So Lauren," my Uncle Vic took a sip of his water and looked at me with a small smile, "Camila tells us that you are helping her sister out with some music."
I finished chewing my piece of chicken and nodded. "Yea, just the lyrics."
Austin shuffled his chair closer to the table and changed the subject. "I saw Madison at practice this morning, she said you two hung out after Mila's game yesterday." He eyed me up and I nodded.
"Yea, just went to the mall for a bit," my eyes briefly wandered to the brunette who dropped her fork and then quickly picked it up, slightly embarrassed. She ducked her head and mumbled her apologies, rolling her peas with her fork. I frowned when I noticed that crease that formed on her head when she was confused or hurt.
"Austin," Aunt Greta smiled, breaking the awkward silence, "your father and I have to be in Toronto next weekend. Can we trust you and Lauren to be on your best behaviours?"
Austin smirked. "No wild parties; got it." He nudged Camila and winked.
Camila smiled and got up from her chair, excusing herself while clearing off her plate and glass, leaving the room.
"You two are the cutest," Uncle Vic grinned at their son. I rolled my eyes and threw my napkin beside my plate, taking a sip of water. "I think in the next few years we should expect our first grandchild."
I spit out my water and dabbed my mouth with the tossed napkin. I was faced with three pairs of eyes looking at me. "Oh come on," I exasperated, "Austin and Camila are seventeen, they have a whole life ahead of them to be thinking about children!"
"Either way," Aunt Greta cut a piece of chicken on her plate and looked lovingly at Austin, "you two are going to last."
Austin seemed satisfied in his mother's confidence and chuckled. "I hope so."
It was making me sick. I felt everything that I ate, start to come back up. I shoved my chair back forcefully, hearing it crashing behind me as I rushed to the bathroom. Just the thought of Camila and Austin together forever was enough to make me gag. I bent over the bowl and tried to regain my breath. I had no clue why I felt so sick.
Camila tried her best to grab my attention since the morning before and I held her at arms length. I fucked us over by digging our hole so much deeper than it already was. I made a weak call and 'slept' with her.
But it felt so fucking good. She may have never been with a woman before but damn she knew how to please one. Okay, well she knew how to please me.
A soft knock at the door shook me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Camila standing there with a cold glass of water. "Are you okay?" She whispered, chewing on her bottom lip. She did that a lot.
My hair fell in my eyes as I nodded, slowly standing. I took the water with my shaky hands and sighed, taking a sip. "Just not feeling too good," I whispered back, handing her the glass back.
"Anything I can do?" God she looked so adorable.
I quickly shook my head and opened the door wider. "Nah, I'm just going to lie down."
"Oh, okay." She stepped aside and I stopped and gave her a small smile.
"Thanks for the water," I kissed her cheek and ran upstairs. I heard her sigh heavily and make her way back into the dining room.
I hated this! My heart clenched. I felt like I was losing her even though I was the one pushing her away. What would happen of Aunt Greta and Uncle Vic found out what Camila and I were doing? They adored Camila, hell they already considered her a daughter-in-law and the bearer of their grandchildren. It would squish them if they ever found out.
Not to mention the fact that I already failed Grade 12 last year. Yea, I failed to mention that as well, didn't I? If I returned home without a diploma, my parents would be pissed and most likely disown me. No word of a lie. It's not like they cared about me, no, what they cared about was their social status and if their only child failed her senior year again, it'd look bad on them.
So I knew deep down that there was no chance in hell I could walk up to Austin and say 'Hey dude, cuz, I'm so scoring with your girlfriend and I have been making out with her, dance-fucking her, feeling her up all behind your back. We're cool though right? No hard feelings? Oh, and don't tell our parents'.
Sure, that'd go well.
Once they found out, my ass would be back in B.C., and not only will I be another senior failure, I was sure I'd disgrace the whole family with my actions. Disowned by all.
Oh right. That's why I was getting sick.
In love with girl I cannot have for more than one reason. Still wanting girl I cannot have for more obvious reasons.
I ached for Camila. I needed her now more than ever.
I tucked myself in bed and closed my eyes. It was still early but I needed to turn off my brain somehow. Sleep was the only thing that kept me safe.
If only I didn't see her face the very moment I closed my eyes.
I groaned into my pillow and tried so hard to fight away those images of fucking her against the shower wall. Images of her holding my hand under the blanket while watching a movie quietly in her parents' living room. Images of her lips captivating mine in a way that told me it wasn't about sex. Her eyes that held me high on my darkest days. I wanted to show her how much I loved her without having to tell her. Somehow telling her made it seem more real and permanent and that scared me. Instead, I let my first time with Camila be in a hot sweaty shower stall.
Not exactly how I wanted our first time to be, but there you had it.
And it'll forever be the most intense sweetest moment in my life, ever.
- - - -
Camila's PoV
"Women suck!" I screamed as I slammed my bedroom door, nearly knocking it off the hinges.
"AMEN!" Alex screamed and mocked my door slamming. What an ass. Didn't he have a fuckin' dorm to go to? Of course but he stayed with mommy and daddy so they'd feed him.
"Men suck more!" I screamed back and throw my pillow across the room. Talk about a hissy-fit.
Why was Lauren acting that way? I felt the tension between her and Austin and it scared me. Did he find out? No. He would've definitely confronted me. He did stay his distance though, knowing I was a tad frustrated. He assumed it was because I was tired from the day before, two practices and one game.
My earlier practice was rougher than the two put together. City Rebel's were a hardcore team who strived to win each and every game. Of course I was intimidated once I was out on the ice with them. But soon I relaxed and I felt at ease for the first time since being with Lauren the morning before.
God.
Lauren fucking Jauregui.
I threw myself on my bed and let out a frustrated growl. My heart ached for her. She was pulling away and of all times!
"Mila?" I heard Sofi whisper, poking her head through my door. "Are you okay?"
I sat up and rubbed my face, finding my TV remote and flipping on the tube. I remained silent as I scanned the program guide.
"Mila?" Sofi was in my room and standing next to me. I felt her fingers slowly brush through my hair as she sat down next to me, no longer pushing to see if I was okay.
We sat there watching a re-run of CSI and when it ended, I noticed Sofi was looking at me. "What?" I whispered.
She shook her head and gave me a sad smile. "Nothing, it's just painful to see you like this," she frowned, "dinner didn't go well tonight?"
I snorted and sat up straight, flipping my hair over my shoulder while studying my blue comforter. "Lauren's ignoring me," I sighed. "Things are so messed up right now and I know that sneaking behind Austin's back is so not like me, but I can't help it," I took a deep breath and looked over at my sister, "Lauren's got me. I mean, she understands me and she's gorgeous, beautiful and I can't help but find myself-"
"Falling in love?" Sofi smiled softly. I nodded and returned the smile. It felt good to know what that feeling felt like. "Honestly big sis," she squeezed my hand and stood up, "I love Lauren too and obviously not in the way you do, but if she so much as makes you shed a tear, I'll kick her ass."
I laughed. My little sister was protecting me when usually it was the other way around.
"Seriously," Sofi became stern, "she asked you not to run away from her and you haven't since she asked. Now whatever happened between you two Saturday morning obviously changed what you had dramatically and it's not fair that she's running this time. More feelings and emotions are involved now and it's just," she clenched her fists, "wrong!"
"Sofi," I stood up and grabbed her shoulders, "calm down, okay?" I pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled back, "In a twisted way I get it, I mean, I get why she's pulling away. Doesn't mean I like it. But you're right, more feelings and emotions are involved. Including Austin, who is still my boyfriend. So I get it."
Sofi shook her head and sighed sadly. "Still, she should at least talk to you about what happened."
I nodded. "Yeah, but I'll just give her time."
I guess I could admit I understood why Lauren was avoiding me the way she was.
But the pain didn't lessen any.
And after Sofi left my room, I cried.
I cried like my heart was breaking.