I will never understand why you held me if you were afraid of warmth.
- Rupi Kaur
~
~
~
Chapter 28
Camila's POV
I hurriedly run towards my car as soon as the clock strikes 7:30 pm. I open the passenger door and neatly put my dress before I jog my way to the driver's seat. The girls and I will meet at Normani's house to prepare for the prom night that will start at exactly 9:00 pm. The girls still don't know that I have a car so I'm pretty excited to brag it to them. I put the key to the ignition and revive the engine of my car as I started to drive around the blocks of New York.
When I'm near to Normani's house, I spotted Dinah and Ally walking while having a chitchat so I eagerly press the gas pedal towards Dinah before I press the honk longer and louder, causing both of them to jump off.
I crack a loud laugh while hitting my steering wheel couple of times. Dinah is so mad right now that she kept on cursing me. I rolled up my window and peak outside.
"Hola!" I waved happily with a smirk plastered on my lips.
"Fuck you, Camila!" Dinah cursed out loud, earning a glare from Ally.
"I can hear you, Dinah Jane!" Ally.
"Uhh," I press the honk again, "Put your ass in the side, Dinah. My mustang is here."
I saw how their jaws dropped as I continue driving and park it at Normani's driveway. When I hop out from the driver's seat, Dinah and Ally quickly walk up on me.
"Which car rental did you called for that thing?" Dinah.
"It is MINE. M-i-n-e. Mine."
Dinah raised an eyebrows, "No shit?"
"No shit, Dinah."
Ally squealed, "Oh my god! Can we ride that on the way to Carolton? Please say yes, Mila." Ally claps her hands in prayers with her eyes pleading for me to say yes.
"I'll be happy to be your chaperon for the night." I grin.
The three of us started to walk inside Normani's house since Mani's the one who will do our make up. Ally's in charge of doing our hair while Dinah and I are in charge of eating every food Normani have on their fridge. I still can't believe that it's been 3 months already. I've been waiting for this prom for a long time and now here it is. Only an hour away.
It took us almost two hours before we finish glamming up. My hair is being curled up as I wore my black slit glittering dress paired with an open heel grey sandals. I'm wearing the most natural make up. Dinah's wearing a red slit fitted dress, Ally's all white dress, and Normani's wearing a dark blue navy dress.
The girls and I are rocking our outfits right now. We all jump up to my mustang as I drive excitedly to Carolton. I'm so excited to see my girlfriend as well. I haven't seen her the whole day since she wanted me to surprise about her outfit. When we arrived, Alex quickly greeted us. She's wearing a flower crown, backless silver dress and a heels. Alex looks so stunning tonight. As we mingle around with our fellow classmates, I can't help not to roam my eyes in hopes to find Lauren.
"Cami, you look so fucking beautiful!" Alex gasped while checking me out.
I smiled, "I know, I know. Don't say it as if it wasn't that obvious enough."
Alex playfully rolled her eyes, "I can't with you."
We continue to have a conversation along with our other classmates and some of our track and field team. We've been discussing about dresses and makeups and how college prom is much more exciting than the ones we had in our senior high school days. Alex offered me a drink but I told her I'll drink some iced tea instead. We continue having a chitchat when something hit my head. When I look over the floor, it was a paper airplane.
Curiously, I took it. At the top of the plane, it says: Open and read me. And so I dismantle the paper plane and it turns out it is a love letter from Lauren. With a smile, I read it.
Dear Future Wife,
As I woke up this morning, the sunlight was rushing through the room, and it lit up every dark corner that there was. There was this unexplainable joy in my heart, and I knew at that moment that I needed to tell you just how much I love you. Forgive me, for I am not a writer, and may not know the best words to use. All I know is that I love you and that I want to be there beside you as you're fulfilling your dreams. I want to make you laugh when you're having a bad day. I want you to be happy, with me, to see a smile on your face every morning and every night, and your gleaming eyes with desire for me. I want to make you fall In love with me every single day. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. You mean everything to me. Indeed, you are my twin soul, and I think we were destined to be together. Open your heart to feel me there. I will always be there, for you. You have given me so much joy and unconditional love that I am quite sure that I am the luckiest woman in the whole world.
With my heart in one hand and a bunch of red roses in the other, I give you this letter.
With deep love,
Lauren.
And when I glance up from the letter with tears swelling up in my eyes, that's when I saw her. Lauren in black and white tuxedo with an open heels sandals. Smiling while rocking back and forth with her left hand slipped inside the pocket of her pants and the other was holding a bunch of red roses. She's nervous, so am I.
I don't even know why I'm nervous when it's just Lauren. I guess prom has really it's own kind of magic.
The green eyed girl started to walk towards my direction, giving me the roses. "Hi, I'm Lauren."
I smiled and decided to play along, "Hey, I'm Camila." I said, holding out her hand.
The green eyed girl put my hand over my shoulder with her arms wrapped around my waist, "Camila? I love that name."
"I love yours too."
"You look-wow!" Lauren looks stunned as her eyes kept checking me out.
"You look wow too." Her tux fits perfectly to her. She looks so gentlewoman and so beautiful and so perfect.
As we go on for the night, I tell Lauren to get in line to take our official prom picture. She says we should wait till the line dies down but I insist. Prom is once in a lifetime thing so we really can't miss this out. We do the requisite prom pose, with Lauren standing behind me, her hands on my hips.
After we take our picture, we find all of our friends in the dance floor. Dinah's already dancing with Normani pretty romantically, Shawn with Georgina, and Ally with Alex. But when (You Drive Me) Crazy of Britney Spears comes on, all of us go crazy, screaming in each other's faces and jumping up and down. Lauren keeps asking me if I'm having fun and I said yelled over a loud music, "Yes, yes, yes, I am having fun!"
After all the hyped and everything, Best Part of Daniel Caesar comes on and the lights around us becomes dim and everybody started to dance slowly over the music.
Lauren cupped my cheeks with a smile. Her eyes are bright and hopeful, alight with happiness. "I love you more than anything, Camz. I love you more than life itself."
"You should love life more than anything else, you silly."
Lauren chuckled softly, "Okay."
I smiled before I hug her tightly and Lauren reciprocated it, even more tightly.
"Just hold me close and never let me go."
"I won't." And her words give me an assuring feeling like it always does.
Before, I was so scared of falling In love with her. But now that I'm here, it's not that scary anymore, not with Lauren by my side. Is this how it goes? You fall In love and nothing seems truly scary anymore, you laid your heart wide open and the chances of it getting break doesn't terrifies you anymore because you know at the end of line it's all worth it?
I pulled away and give her a little kiss, and Lauren kisses me harder. In the mid of our kiss, I whisper, "I love you." Making the green eyed girl smile.
Prom is over and almost everyone is still high from last night's event. It was a full blast and I had so much fun. It's already 5:30 am and all of us are hanging out in the playground. We're all scattered around. Ally and Alex are hanging out in the slide with Shawn and Georgina. Normani and Dinah are hanging out in the bench near the old oak tree while Lauren and I are sitting on the swing. When the sun is starting to rise and about say it's first hello in the city, all eyes landed on Normani and Dinah.
Dinah started to talk. I can't hear what she's saying but she's probably saying her romantic speech for Mani. I'm excited and nervous at the same time on how this thing will come out but I'm happy and proud of Dinah. Whether this confession failed or not, I'll always admire how brave and strong my best friend was.
"Camz," Lauren called out. I look beside me and she's already back on her feet, "let's go somewhere else."
"Like, right now?"
"Yes."
"But-" Before I could even protest, Lauren carry me in bridal style and started to run away like we were fugitives.
I wrapped my arms around her neck and rest my head on her shoulder. I love how her scent intoxicate me. We run a couple of miles before Lauren step foot on the porch that is definitely not ours. Lauren put me down and before I get to ask where are we, she hold my hand and push the door open, revealing a house party for the elders.
It has a Mexican themed party with a happy Mexican traditional music blasting around the place. Men are dressed in tux while wearing a Mexican hat. Whereas women are dressed in long white dresses. Watching these people dance makes my body move along the beat and dance as well.
"Are we crashing to their party?" I whispered and Lauren gave me a small laugh.
"Hola! Bienvenidos (Hi! Welcome)." One of the elder man greeted us with a warm smile.
"Hola, Johnny! Podemos ir a tu fiesta? (Hello, Johnny! Can we crash to your party?)" I glance over Lauren. Her speaking Spanish is such a turn on. Like it makes her even more hot and sexy.
"Por supuesto! Ponte cómodo (Sure! Make yourselves comfortable)."
"Gracias (Thank you)." Lauren shift her eyes on me with a smile. "Let's dance?"
"Sure!" Lauren and I hold hands as we make our way to the dance floor. How I love dancing with her. It's like a natural thing that we have in common. We dance for a while. Lauren swirling me around. Her hands around my waist as I shake my body.
"Camz, switch partners!" We both giggled before we switch partners. I am now dancing with Johnny and Lauren dancing with his wife Betty. Johnny is a good dancer and gentle to be partner with. I had so much fun as we dance. Jonny's telling me a Spanish jokes throughout and I can't help but to laugh because of it. When the music comes to an end, Lauren comes running back to me. She's holding a short light pink wedding veil in her right hand that she snatched from Johnny's wife and in her left hand is a bottle of Champagne. Lauren put the veil over my head, "I love you, I love you, I love you," In between words, she's showering me with kisses with her hands cupping my cheeks.
"Bye everyone! We had a great time! Bye Johnny, bye Betty!" Lauren giggled while waving her hand in the mid air. Before we completely walk out of the house, I took the candlelight with me as we headed straight home.
Lauren and I are both laughing as we walk a couple of more blocks. I don't know what we're laughing about but it was a happy moment. The silent morning street of New York is filled with our joyous laughter. Once we arrived home, Lauren and I go straight to our bedroom. In the floor beside our bed, we both lay down next to the candlelight and a bottle of champagne.
"Do you trust me?" Lauren ask, and I nod my head.
"I always trust you."
"Okay, it may hurt a bit but you'll be fine."
I nod again before I leaned in and to kiss her lips. Lauren took my right wrist. And to where my pulse is, she put a heart tattoo. It was painful a bit but it's okay. Then it's my turn to put Lauren's tattoo on her left wrist, same place like mine. When I'm done, we stare at our matching tattoos and it was beautiful. Like this permanent ink imprinted in my skin, my love for Lauren will stay here in my heart forever.
We both lay back down on the floor. I rest my head over Lauren's shoulder as I hug her tightly, "Go to sleep now, Camz." Lauren says, "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they try to get you." The green eyed girl planted a soft kiss on the crown of my head before she whisper, "I love you."
***
Lauren's POV
An intense headache knocked the hell out of me that I don't need to use alarm clock anymore because of it. Beside me is Camila who's still peacefully sleeping. I unwrapped her arm around me as I headed straight to the bathroom to splash a cold water in my face. I strip off my tux and headed for a cold shower since I need to go out for school activities at the art club that I joined in recently.
After I fix myself and ready to go, I walk towards Camila who's still in her prom dress. I carefully carry her and gently lay her to bed to avoid waking her up. She looks so tired. Softly, I run my fingers to her cheek. "Thank you for loving me when I still tasted heartache and war." I muttered before planting a soft kiss on her forehead, "I love you."
Before I left, I leave a note at the fridge saying I need to go to school and I'll be back as quick as I can with a pizza for her. I walk towards my car and revive the engine as I started to drive around. After a couple of minutes, I arrived at the parking lot of Carolton.
I walk towards the classroom where art class usually held. When I open the door, the first thing that I saw was Ally who's sitting in the middle row, smiling. I smiled back at my best friend and take a seat beside her.
"You look great today, Lo."
"You too, Ally."
Soon, the classroom is started to filled with students but what caught my attention is when Normani step inside the classroom. Smile quickly plastered on her lips when she saw Ally but then it quickly died down when her eyes shifted on my direction.
I gulped heavily as I shift my eyes to somewhere else. Normani walk towards our direction and take a seat beside Ally and started greeted her like I didn't exist in her world. I can't blame her though.
I suddenly feel uncomfortable at the presence of Normani. Slowly, I can feel something strong building up inside of me the longer I'm sitting here in my seat- Fear.
Why would I be scared? I didn't do anything. I thought to myself but then another voice whisper in my ear.
You're the one to blame. You'll always be the one to blame.
I clenched my jaw tight that it could break my teeth anytime soon as I try to shake off everything in my head. Everything in my life is now starting to make sense because of Camila. Because of her, I'm now happy. I won't let everything gets fucked up because of it.
When the instructor for this class came in, all the thoughts suddenly vanish for a moment and I took it as my advantage to stop myself from overthinking too much.
"Good morning, I'd like to announce that we're having an early dismissal today for some urgent matter so I'm going to group you into three members for the activity that needs to be pass tomorrow morning. You will go to any place you wanted to visit. Something calm and peaceful for you. Make sure that you will absorb the vibes of the place and then draw the first thing that you will see in your mind or what you feel when you are in that place. Everything clear?"
The classroom immediately filled with whispers and murmurs after that announcement as if I'm sharing a room with a dozen of bees. When there is no further question regarding to the activity, the instructor proceeds in announcing the group members.
"The group 1 will be Hernandez, Hamilton, and Jauregui."
I gulped heavily as my body grows cold after I heard who my group mates are.
"Oh, look at that!" Ally squealed. In the corner of my eyes, I can see Normani faking a smile while looking at me but I don't bother myself looking at her nor Ally.
After all the groups are being announced and distributed to the class, all the students stand up from their seats, so do we. I can feel my hands growing cold and I'm incredibly nervous.
"Since we're all group mates, we should use one car." Normani spoke. I slipped my hands inside the pocket of my jeans before I lift up my eyes to meet hers. Luckily, she's looking at Ally.
"Oh shoot! Imagine if Camila's here and we're all going to ride at her mustang. Damn! Should we call her and tell her to pick us up?" Ally asked before shifting her eyes on me, "Laur, what do you think?"
I'm about to open my mouth to say something when Normani suddenly speak out, "Let's not bother, Mila. I'm sure she's tired from last night, right?" Then Normani shift her eyes on me.
"Yeah." The only word I manage to say.
"Okay then." Ally.
"Let's just use mine. I'll see you guys at the entrance gate." And when Normani step out of the room, I release the breath that I'm holding for a long time.
"Lo, are you okay? You looked very tense." Ally put her hand over my shoulder while checking up on me.
"Really? That obvious?"
Ally nodded, "Yeah, is it because of Normani?"
I nod my head, "Can I survive this day with her?"
"You can, Laur. I promise you'll be fine. I'm here for you." I smiled at how sweet and thoughtful Ally is.
"Thank you, Ally." Then I pulled her in for a hug.
We started to walk towards the entrance gate. When we head outside, a black BMW car is already waiting outside which I assumed Normani's car. We head over as Ally take a seat on the backseat with me.
"I know a very beautiful place around here where we can feel relax. Are you guys willing to make a visit today?" Normani asked while looking at us in the rear-view mirror.
"Sure, you're all in charge in this Manibear." Ally replied while I just nod my head as my response.
"Alright then," Normani shift gear before she started to drive. I focus my eyes on the car window to see all the buildings that we passed by. I never felt this lonely before. Though Ally is just right here beside me, I feel like I am so far way from everyone. Like I'm floating in the space and no one is around me except for darkness. When I accidentally glance over the rear-view mirror, Normani's looking at me. And I know the look that she's giving me right now is very different from the ones she always gave me.
I rest my head against the car window with my eyes close, trying to find my will to relax and breathe nice and calm. As my eyes remains closed to what feels like forever, I felt my phone buzzed in from my pocket. I hurriedly took it and it was from Camila.
Hi, baby! I just woke up. I'm soooo tired. I miss you already though *insert emoji with a pouted lips cause I can't find one* don't forget my pizza on your way home, okay? I love youuuu.
Ps. I love the tattoo. It's my favorite.
Smiled quickly formed on my lips after I read Camila's text message. Sometimes I wonder despite of everything that I've done, why does god still gave me someone like Camila? I put my phone down on my lap and look at my wrist where our matching tattoo is.
"I know that smile, Laur." Ally suddenly pinched my cheek, making me groaned.
"Ow! Stop...hurting me, Ally!" I slap her hand away.
"You're so In love to my best friend, it actually hurts my heart." Ally shook her head, "In a good way though."
I smiled, "I know. It actually hurts my heart as well. In a good way."
Ally nodded with a smile, "In a good way."
"We're here." Normani suddenly speak that interrupted our conversation.
My eyebrows furrowed while looking around. This place looks familiar to me. There's a pathway straight ahead and everything is surrounded with trees.
I feel like I've been here before. I just can't remember when.
"Oh my god, this is so beautiful!" Ally exclaimed as she head out from the car first to look around, leaving me and Normani all alone.
"Is this place reminds you of something?" Normani asked seriously, still sitting to where she is. She's not looking at the rear-view mirror to look at me. Instead, she's looking straight ahead. And her voice, it was suppress with anger.
"Nothing." I truthfully answered.
"Nothing?" She scoff bitterly, "Wow." Then Normani let out a sarcastic laugh before she unbuckled her seatbelt and hop out.
I didn't mind her as I get out of the car as well and I joined them in exploring the place. This is actually so beautiful and I'm thinking of coming back here again with Camila. I'm sure she'll love this place as much as she loved the mossy avatar forest. I walk over to the side to have a closer look. The flowers are so beautiful. Things and places like this is the actual proof that life is worth living.
"Follow me. I know a spot around here that is more beautiful." Normani called out so we immediately follow her lead.
As we go further, I can feel my knees getting weaker and weaker the closer we get there. Now I know why this place looked so familar to me.
"Garden of love?" Ally asked that made my heart beat incredibly fast. I clenched my fist so hard until it turns completely white.
I look up to meet Normani's blazing gaze. Slowly, a smirk formed on her lips.
She purposely did this.
"Yeah, someone mentioned this place to me before. I remember how she told me how happy they were when she brought her girlfriend here. I will never forget how wide her smile was while she's telling me about it. Being here again brings back that good old memories, isn't it, Lauren?"
....
"Baby, wake up now. We still have a date, remember?" Keana gently caress my cheek so I tried to open my eyes despite of how sleepy I feel right now.
Even though my vision is a little bit blurry, I saw the smile that I'm addicted to. My smile grows from ear to ear when I felt her lips against my cheek.
I reach for her hand and squeeze it gently before I pulled her down so I can feel her against my body
"Do we really have to go?" I groaned against the crook of her neck.
"Yes, baby. Come on, don't be a stubborn girl. I really prepared for this day just for you."
"Okay then, if you say so." I get up from our bed and put on my slippers as Keana crawl on the sheets and buried her face to my pillow.
"I love how your scent leaves in the sheets and to our pillow." She smiled before reaching my book- A walk to remember by Nicholas Sparks. She begin to read it while her head is resting against the dashboard of our bed.
"Let's take a shower together."
"Lo, I'm already done." Keana answered without removing her gaze from the book.
"Please?" I put my hand over the book and put it down on her lap. Keana's eyes met mine. I smiled before I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers.
I felt Keana smiled in between our kiss so I pulled away and look at the girl I love the most more than anything else. Her eyes are still close, lips slightly open.
I lift up my hand and trace her lips using my fingertips before I cup her cheeks into my hands, "I love you."
Keana open her eyes, "You really knew what my ultimate weakness is. And I hate you for that." Keana chuckled before she pinched my nose, "And I love you too, baby."
I gigged, "I know you can't resist me." I wink before I took her hand as we make our way to the bathroom.
The warm water started to pour on our naked body. I took a step back to look and admire how sexy and perfect my girlfriend is.
"Lauren Jauregui!" Keana called out.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"I know that look."
"I'm just proud to myself that I can call you mine. And soon, my wife."
"And I'm also proud to be yours and be your Mrs. Jauregui in the near future."
"Can I kiss you?"
"You already know my answer to that question, right?"
"I don't. Is it a no?" I said in sad tone pretending that I really don't know her answer. But the truth is, I know it's a yes. A big yes.
"What? No! You know how much I love it everytime we kiss, right?"
"I know, I'm just messing you around." I smiled as put the bubble of the soap to her nose, causing Keana to giggle.
I put my hand on her waist as I slowly leaned in and own her lips. The suppose quick and soft kiss turns out to be a heated one, causing Keana to back away until her back hit against the wall. I pressed my body even more closer to her as I enter my tongue to explore her mouth. Our kiss became intense that it feels like I'm on a ride. I squeeze her waist hard, causing Keana to vibrate a moan against my mouth which is so fucking sexy to hear. When the air becomes an issue, we both pulled away, breathless.
After we finished taking a shower, I go to my closet and try to find something good to wear.
"Baby!" I called her out because she left the room to pick up a phone call, "Baby, I need your help! Hurry!"
"I'm coming, for god sake!" Keana yelled back that made me laugh. Few minutes later, the door of our room opened, "What???"
"I don't know what to you wear."
"Jesus!" Keana crack a small laugh, "I thought something happened to you. Just wear what makes you feel comfortable. And...would you mind if I borrow your shirt?"
"I wouldn't mind. I love seeing you wearing my shirt."
After a couple of minutes of rummaging in my closet, I decided to just settle in my metalica shirt and black riped jeans. I brush my hair up and look in the mirror one last time.
Okay, I'm ready to go.
"Baby, let's go we-" Keana called out but stop in the mid of her sentence as soon as I walk out of the room.
"What?" I asked.
"Damn! You're so fucking hot. I wanna lay you down to the bed and kiss you all day."
"We can."
"When we go home?"
"When we go home." I answered as I walk towards Keana and intertwined my fingers against hers. Today, she's in charge behind the wheels since she don't want to tell me where are we going. Not even a clue.
"Garden of love?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah, it's so beautiful here. Promise you won't regret it." Keana excitedly giggled as she drag me inside of the garden.
There's plenty of different kinds of roses and trees around and in the middle of it was a medium size fountain of an angel statue who's holding a big heart.
"You're right, it's beautiful here." I said while my eyes are roaming around.
"I know you love roses so I brought you here."
"I love this place."
"And one more thing." Keana anxiously said.
"What?"
She let out a sigh before she speak again.
"I know we had our ups and downs. A lot of fights because of jealousy and misunderstanding. We always thought to ourselves that maybe we're not really meant for each other. That maybe we fell In love too fast and things like that don't last forever. I always go to sleep crying because of you. Someone even told me to just forget the love I had for you because you're no good for me. But like drugs, I'm already addicted to you. Like cigarette, my lips always longing for your kiss. And I will always want you no matter how bad and toxic we are." Keana cupped my cheeks as her eyes swelled up with tears.
"They say choose what makes you happy that's why I chose to be with you. I don't care how complicated this relationship gets. I don't care if I lose everything that I have. I don't care how much pain I need to endure if that's the only way I can be with you then I will gladly let myself suffer. I don't give a fuck to them because all I need is you, Lauren. Your love, your kiss, your body, your flaws, your imperfections, your weakness, your mood swings, everything about you. I love them and I will never get tired of loving you."
I don't bother myself to hold back my tears. I just let it falls down to my cheeks continuously. I ran my thumb on Keana's cheeks to wipe away her tears.
"Sssh, stop crying now please. Didn't I tell you already? I don't want to see you shed anymore tears because of me." Keana flash a smile while sobbing. She tipped her toes and kiss my tears away before she pressed her lips against mine.
When she pulled away, Keana whisper against my lips. "I love you so much, Lauren Jauregui."
"I love you too, Keana. Always."
.....
"Yeah," I simply answered with a fake smile. Ally looked at me worriedly but I don't bother to look at her. I just focus my eyes on Normani who just gave me a smile before she go inside the garden.
Tears started to roll down on my cheeks continously as the memories that we had here hit me so hard. My heart is so heavy right now that I can no longer breathe properly.
I'm so sorry Keana. You don't deserve a mess like me. I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve a girl like you. I should be the one who died not you. I thought to myself as things in my head started to get messed up pretty badly. A whirlpool of emotions is swallowing me alive and I'm drowning. I can no longer breathe and I can't even stop myself from crying. The pain I'm feeling right now is unbearable and what's worse is, I can't even do anything to make it stop.
"Lauren," Ally put her hand over my shoulder so I immediately wipe my tears away before I answer her.
"I-I'm fine."
"You're not, no need to lie about it. I know what Mani meant when she said that. Did this place reminds you of her?"
I nodded, "So much."
"I'm so sorry I didn't know about it. Let's just go and find another park. I'll talk to Mani."
"I'm fine, really. We're already here and I don't want to cause any disturbance on you guys."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded before I give Ally an assuring smile.
"Let's go then." I followed Ally as we go inside. I saw Normani already sketching something on her sketch pad.
I look around and I still know every corner of this place as if I was just here yesterday. It's not the same anymore, to stand in the same ground I used to stand with Keana. My heart aches that new set of tears are swelling up in my eyes and about to fall down so I used my arm to wipe them off.
I take a seat on the grass beside Ally. I decided to sketch a bunch of white roses. All of them are so beautiful except for one stem that is already wilt and dead. At the top of my sketchpad, I wrote Fatal as my title.
The beautiful white roses symbolizes all the beautiful things I have in my life- how lucky I am to have them because not everyone can afford those kinds of things. How lucky of a bastard I am to have Camila who loves me so much even if I don't deserve it. While the wilted one symbolizes what I feel inside.
The worst kind of pain is not how you feel your heart shatter in pieces like a glass inside you. It's the feeling of your still alive, breathing, but you're already dead inside. It's the worst kind of pain I've known. And for years, I've been a good liar than I can actually hide my emotions so well that no one can tell I'm dead inside. I'm hurting a lot. I'm still suffering from the death of Keana and the death of my soul that died along with her. Just because I'm breathing doesn't mean I'm alive.
And as everyone says, destroy what destroys you. But how can I destroy it if that thing that's destroying me is myself?
I'm the first one to finish sketching maybe because I always drew different kinds of roses so I don't find it so hard to sketch it.
"Ally, I have to go now. Can you tell Normani that I already leave? I'm not feeling well today."
"I'll take you home, Laur."
"Thanks, I really appreciate that but you don't need to do that. You should just stay here with Normani."
"But your car is not here with you. What if something bad happen to you?"
"Quit worrying much about me, Ally." It's more favorable to me if something happened to me, "I'll be fine. I'll call a uber to drive me home."
"Okay, if you really insist. But please, can you text me once you arrived safely in your apartment?"
"I will, Ally. Thank you." I get back on my feet and swing my bag over shoulder when I remember something, "Hey, Ally."
"Hmm?" She hummed.
"Can you we keep that a secret? I mean when you saw me crying back there?"
"Sure." Ally gives me a genuine smile.
"Thanks." Then I started to walk away. I decided to take a walk instead of calling a uber to take me home. I don't think I can go home when I'm still in this kind of state.
And honestly, I don't know where I'm going. My mind is like floating in the air. Thousands of thoughts are crashing inside my head. So many emotions swirling inside me all of a sudden. Until I found myself in front of the bar. I know I made a pact to Camila of not drinking any alcohol but this is my only solution right now.
And so, I decided to spend the rest of my night at the bar, drowning myself to more and more alcohol to forget everything just for a moment. With a dissolved thin powder in front of me, I didn't hesitate to snort it.
The reason why drugs are addictive is because they make you feel alive inside. Just for a short period of time, let me feel that I'm alive. Just for once, let me escape the pain that I've been dealing every single day of my fucked up life.
***
Camila's POV
After finishing my fifth round of coffee, I continue to walk back and forth inside our apartment with my phone in my hand. It's already 6:40 am and Lauren is still not home yet. I called Ally and she told me that Lauren head off first before them yesterday. I also tried to call Kendall, Taylor, and Selena but they all had the same response: Lauren's not with them. I also tried to call her phone thousands of time but her cell is off which makes me super worried that I didn't sleep the whole night just to wait for her to come home. The anxiety that it caused me is too much that my heart is beating incredibly fast. I am hyperventilating as well as my body begins to feel weak. I'm also having a trouble concentrating about anything else rather than this present worry right in front of my face.
I take a seat to one place, trying to breathe nice and slow to calm myself down. When I'm having an incredibly difficult on controlling my worry and my head to stop overthinking, I unlock my phone to call 911 when the door suddenly open. It was Lauren.
"Lauren!" I can't help it anymore. Tears rolled down to my cheeks as I run towards her direction and hug her tight, "Where have you been?! I'm so worried about you! Why didn't answer my call? I'm going crazy thinking what could have happen to you!"
Lauren reciprocated my hug, "I'm sorry. My phone died down and there's a family emergency that I need to go to. I'm so sorry." She pulled away and cupped my cheeks, wiping away my tears using her thumb. "Sshh, stop crying. I'm okay, I'm all fine. See? I'm still here." Lauren flash a timid smile before she leaned in and kiss me. When she pulled away, Lauren added, "I'm sorry for making you feel worried. I promise, it won't happen again."
I stare at Lauren's green eyes and in an instant, I notice something. It wasn't that bright like the usual. I always stare in her eyes so I know the green eyes that I'm looking right now is different from the ones I always looked at before. Her lips is smiling but her eyes aren't. They were sad, no glow and no brightness. It's as if I was staring in a green eyes with no emotions and no life at all. It was lifeless. Her green eyes that was used to filled with sparkles, glows, and lights are now lifeless. Like a black and white. No color.
I cupped her cheeks and caress it softly, "I know you're not okay. What happened?"
Lauren chuckled, "What are you talking about? Ofcourse, I'm okay. I already see my beautiful girlfriend."
"Lauren, I'm serious. You know-"
"I'll go get some shower first, okay?" Then without any word, Lauren started to walk towards our room. My eyes followed every move she do until she close the bathroom door and the sound of water running down from the shower can be heard.
I know she's not okay. I can feel it. I can easily tell just by the look in her eyes. As much as I want to know what's bothering her so I can comfort her, I don't want to push her to tell it to me. So as her girlfriend, I guess I'll just do my best to make her happy and keep her mind from whatever that's been bothering her.
While Lauren's taking a shower, I prepare us a breakfast. I make some bread toast. Cooked some pancakes and eggs and make a hot chocolate for us. When Lauren came out of the room wearing only an oversized t-shirt, I can't help myself not to check her legs out and admire them. Lauren got this beautiful flawless toned legs you'll ever see in the whole world.
"Hmm..." Lauren snort around as she pulled the chair and take a seat beside me, "It smells so good. Yum, yum, yum!"
I smiled as I put some pancake and eggs to her plate, "So you better eat more so you have strength for the whole day. You looked like you haven't sleep the whole night."
"Oh, I'll probably stay at home for the day to have some rest. I barely got enough sleep last night."
"Sure. Just don't forget to lock the doors when I leave."
"Hmm." Lauren nodded, "I'll prepare us a delicious dinner so when you get home, you'll feel a little less tired."
We continue to eat our breakfast in a comfortable silence until I remember something- Lauren's birthday is the day after tomorrow.
"Baby, your birthday is so close. What's your plan? Should we go on a beach or a road trip?" I asked excitedly as I make a plan inside my head on how am I going to make my girlfriend's birthday so special.
Lauren finish her pancake and egg as well as her chocolate drink before she stand up from her seat, "I'll head off to sleep now. My headache already kicked in." Then Lauren started to walk towards our room, leaving me all alone.
Maybe she's just really tired.
After finishing my breakfast, I fixed myself and get ready to school. Before I head outside, I walk towards Lauren who's already sleeping.
"Lauren?" I called out as I caress her hair. I got no response. She's probably in a deep sleep now, "I'll go ahead now. Take some rest and call me as soon as you wake up. I love you." Then I kiss her forehead before I head outside.
***
As soon as I step inside the campus, smile quickly drew on my lips. It was Dinah and Mani holding hands. Behind them are Shawn, Ally, and Alex.
"So, how did the confession go?"
Dinah smiled, "It was sweet. I really make sure it was short and romantic at the same time."
To Dinah, Normani says, "You yelled in my ear "Listen here, you little shit. I have feelings for you and it's about time you acknowledged them"...so sweet that I can't even comprehend at that time whether she's confessing or threatening me."
All of us crack a laugh. Typical Dinah. Whether it's a romantic confession or romantic threat, at least both of my best friends are now happy especially Dinah. I've never seen her be so happy like this.
"Guys, I think we should head over to our class." Ally reminded us over the laughter.
"Wait, wait. Where's Lauren?" Alex asked me. Lately, Lauren became Alex's favorite person to annoy that's why she's always looking for her.
I'm about to open my mouth to say something when I accidentally glance over at Normani and Ally who's looking at each other. I can't describe the look that they're giving to each other or if that has a meaning or something so I just shrugged it and focus my attention to Alex instead.
"She's sick that's why she stayed at home to take some rest."
"Aww, that's sad." Alex pouted.
"I know, but she'll be here tomorrow for sure. Let's head over to class?" I asked and they nodded as we all started to walk around the hallway.
Before I proceed to my room, I parted ways so I can go to my locker to fetch the stuff I need for today's class. After I stuff it inside my bag, I close my locker door and made a quick stop at the bathroom to pee.
At the restroom stall, I was busy humming my favorite song while waiting for my pee to falls down when I suddenly heard a two voices of a women arguing.
"We need to talk."
"About what?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. I can't be wrong. It's Normani and Ally.
"You know what I mean, Normani! What you did yesterday is too much!"
Normani's sarcastic laugh suddenly echoed around, "Let me ask you this, Al. What did I even do?"
"Why don't you answer your own question, Normani? Come on, stop acting like you're innocent!"
"It's not even my fault if too much guilt is consuming her. May I remind you, Ally. It's her fault why did that happened!"
"It is no one's fault Normani, for fuck sake! It's been 3 years. 3 fucking long years! If you want to live in the past, don't drag other people with you! And you still think that she don't blame herself all the time for what happened?! The person is regretting everything! She already suffered so much pain and this is not helping! You don't need to remind her all the time about it! That was so childish!"
"Really, Ally?! Who's side are you really on?" Normani scoff, "Oh right, I remember now. It's always been her right from the start."
"Are you serious right now?! It's not about choosing sides, Normani! It's about YOU being so childish and immature!"
"Oh really?! Wow!"
"Keana is our best friend, Normani. But what else can we do? She's not coming back. When will you realize that it's her choice? She chose that path and what happened is no one's fault? Not even Lauren. When, Normani? When?"
Lauren? So they're having an argument over Lauren and what happened yesterday? But Ally told me that everything went okay and they're all fine.
"You need to let her go, Normani. For the sake of your health. It's not good to have a grudge inside your heart."
A series of sobbed suddenly echoed around, "I can't do that. I can't."
"Why? What does Keana have on you that you can't let her go?"
"As much as I hate Lauren, I also hate myself. If I only told her then none of this would happen. Then maybe she's still alive!"
"Sssh, stop crying now. Please, stop. It's okay, it's okay."
I stayed in the cubicle a little longer until I make sure that they're gone. I don't want them to know that I'm inside of the restroom and I heard single bit of their conversation. I just feel bad at how things still affect Normani. Though it's been 3 years, the death of your best friend is something you can never easily moved on to especially when she became mostly part of your life. And I hope this is not the thing that's been bothering Lauren.
***
After class, I swing my bag to my shoulder for my next period which is History. When I walk out of the room, Ally suddenly drag me.
"Hi!" I said, feeling a little defensive after what happened at the restroom.
"Hey, Mila. Can I...ask you a favor?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"I have a family emergency and I won't be around for 2 days and my professor will surely kill me if I can't pass my journal."
"Oh, so you want me to work on your journal?"
"Yeah. Well, don't worry. I'll pay you 5 pairs of banana socks-"
"Are you kidding me?! I'll gladly do it for you, Ally! I'll skip my homeworks and stuffs just for your journal!"
Ally chuckled, "Anyway, my journal topic is all about soccer. You don't have to worry about anything though. I already asked Anna to accompany you at the soccer stadium tomorrow morning and she said yes. And oh, I already gave your number to her."
I cupped Ally's shoulder, "You don't have to worry, Ally. I will make sure you will get 1.0 in your journal."
Ally smiled before she pulled me in for a hug, "Thank you so much, Mila. God bless your soul. Love you!"
After Ally handed me her brown journal, I proceed to my room and attend my class. So far, it's been good. I don't have to bare with slow hours at school because activities and my friends keeps me busy and well occupied not to notice that it's already 7:30 pm.
As soon as my last period ended, I hurriedly go to the parking lot so I can go home. Before driving, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and text Lauren that I'm on my way home. I'm pretty much excited to have a dinner with her.
It took me couple of minutes of driving around the street before I pulled my car in the driveway. Excitedly, I jogged my way to the porch and fish out my keys to our apartment.
"Baby, I'm ho-" I stop in the mid of my sentence when I saw nothing but an empty house with a lights on. "Lauren? Are you home?" I put down my stuff at the couch before I go to our room to check if she's there.
She's not.
I go to the kitchen and I saw a note sticked in the fridge.
I go out for a moment to buy some ingredients. My phone is also broken so I can't answer any of your calls and text. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I love you.
Lauren.
I breathed out in relief as I settled myself in the couch to have some rest. I'm so tired, really. While waiting for Lauren to come home, I took Ally's journal from my bag and started to put some designs on it to lessen the work that I'll need to do.
I calligraphy Ally's full name on the front and her section. And in each pages, I put different designs at the edge when I felt my eyes are already closing on it's own.
I glance at my watch and it's already 8:14 pm. Lauren's still not home yet so I decided to just lay back down on the couch for a moment to take a quick nap while waiting for my girlfriend to come home.
***
I groaned when I felt my whole body in sore including my neck. I slowly sit up straight when I notice that I'm still laying here on the couch. The sun already rise and I can hear the casserole bang on the stainless sink as the water from the faucet runs down.
"Did you come home last night?" I asked. My voice is a little raspier.
Without turning her body around, Lauren answer. "Yeah."
I rolled my eyes on her as I clutch tightly against my hair. She did go home last night but she didn't even bother to wake the hell out of me. I mean, who wouldn't be annoyed in that?!
"Why didn't you wake me up?" I tried to suppress my anger and keep the calm tone in my voice.
I can hear the sound of the plates hitting against our wooden table, "I don't want to bother you."
I scoff, not bothering to answer her back. It's too early in the morning and I don't have enough strength to have an argument with her.
"Breakfast is ready." Lauren said but I completely ignore her. I reach for my phone at the table to check if someone message me and I have. It's from unknown number.
Hi, Camila! It's me Anna from the soccer team. I'm so sorry something came up and I can't come with you today. Don't worry, I asked your girlfriend to come with you and she said yes.
"Really?!" I muttered before throwing my phone on the couch. I get back on my feet and walk towards the room to fix myself. Every stomp of my feet on the floor is louder so Lauren can feel that I'm angry and annoyed from last night. When I get inside our room, a phone rings suddenly echoed inside. I'm sure as hell it wasn't mine so I walk over to our bed and look for it.
I flip over the blanket and the pillow until I found it. It was Lauren's phone. I flip it over to check if it's brand new or not.
It's not.
My phone is also broken so I can't answer any of your calls and text.
I eagerly press the home button and her phone lights up with 100% battery. I enter her passcode and swipe her phone, look at her gallery and it's perfectly working which makes me even more angry at her.
Why does she need to lie about this?! I just couldn't understand! If she don't want to talk to me and tell me where's been the whole fucking night then fine by me! What makes this annoying to me is that I look like a fool waiting for her. Twice!
"Bullshit!" I throw her phone across the room to at least make her lie true.
I walk over to the bathroom and slam the door behind me. I open the shower and let the cold water run through my naked body to at least calm myself down. I stayed a little longer inside as I take a seat at the bathtub while the water is running down on the floor.
When I felt the shiver in my entire body, I turn off the shower and wrapped the towel around my body. I walk over to my closet and grab my sweatshirt and sweatpants before I headed to the living room with my bag to fix my stuff.
I saw Lauren sitting on the table with her phone in her hand. Her plate is still empty so I assumed she's waiting for me.
"Did you threw my phone?"
"I did." I answered coldly, not bothering to meet her gaze.
"Care to explain why you did that?"
"Shouldn't you be thanking me for breaking it? At least you don't have to make up a lie, right?"
And Lauren snapped. "Who said I'm lying?! My phone is broken and this phone is brand new!"
I throw my bag on the floor before I turn around to meet her gaze, "I was not born yesterday! I'm not stupid, Lauren!" I yelled angrily at her, "Look, if you don't want to tell me where you're going and you don't want me to call you then just tell it to me straight! Don't make me look liked a fool waiting for you up all night!"
"It only happened one time!"
"Twice!"
"Can we just...stop arguing now, please? I prepare us a breakfast."
"No thanks, I already lost my appetite."
"Camz, please. I prepared us a breakfast. Don't ruin it by making this thing such a big deal."
I furrowed my eyebrows as I look at her with so much disbelief in my eyes, "Do you fucking hear yourself, Lauren?! This," I pointed down the floor, "isn't a big deal for you? Did you know that I'm going crazy thinking what could have happen to you? Do you even have a single clue how much anxiety I have to deal because of you?"
"So what are you trying to say now?! You don't want us anymore?"
"That's not-"
Lauren cut me off, "I get it. If you want us done, then we're done." She stand up from her seat, slamming her hands against the table. I look at Lauren, wondering who is this girl in front of me.
I watch her grab all the foods that she cooked and walk over to the trash can, "Let's fucking throw this all." Lauren throw everything including the plates, cups, and the utensils. Then she grab her phone and throw it on the wall across the living room where I'm standing at. "And this fucking phone too."
I flinched at the loud sound of her phone scattering into tiny pieces. Tears started to swelled up in my eyes. Her action caught me off guard and I honestly don't know who she is right now. And even though my knees are shaking and tears are now rolling down on my cheeks, I still stand here on my ground with my composure on.
Lauren looked at me straight in the eyes. Her green eyes are blazing with fire. It is filled with pain, anger, and hatred. We locked eyes for a moment before she look away, tears also swelled up in her eyes. And suddenly, the anger and fear that I feel right now suddenly vanish that all I can think off is to run by her side and hug her in my arms. And as the tears rolls down to her eyes, Lauren viciously punch the table while screaming filled with so many emotions.
"Lauren!" I run towards her direction as tears continuously streaming down to my cheeks. I hug her tight as a series of sobbed echoed around, "Stop, please. Stop."
We settled down on the floor. I pulled away and cupped her cheeks as my thumb wipe away her tears. "What's wrong? Will you please talk to me?"
Lauren gulped before she meets my eyes. She shakes her head gently before she cupped my cheek using her bleeding hand, "I'm sorry, Camz. I'm so sorry." Lauren rest her forehead against mine, "I didn't mean to scare. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me." She owned my lips and as we kissed, we were both tasting each other's tears.
When Lauren pulled away, I whisper, "I will never leave you. Do you hear me? I will never."
We stayed on the floor for a moment until Lauren finally calms down. Before I leave, I cleaned out the wounds in her knuckles and wrapped it with a clean bandage. When I'm done, I caress her hair and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "I love you."
As I head out to our apartment, I make sure the door is locked before I walk towards my car. I slip my hand inside the pocket of my sweatpants to get my car keys when a loud honk suddenly echoed in our driveway making me flinch.
"Camila!" It was Taylor. "Hi! Can we talk? Come on, I'll drive you to school."
Talk about what? Out of curiosity on what we will talk about, I nod my head and climb up to the passenger seat of her car. I buckled my seatbelt up as Taylor started to drive around the blocks.
"I bet she's being bitchy, isn't it?" Taylor asked while driving.
"We had an argument this morning because I caught her lying. Her aggressive behaviour caught me off guard. At that moment, I feel like I was looking at somebody else and not Lauren."
"That's not new to us. Lauren's always like that everytime her birthday is so close."
Her aggressive behaviour is because of her birthday? I knitted my eyebrows as I look at Taylor, "Why?"
When we hit the stop light, Taylor look at me while wearing a confused look. "Your friends didn't tell you?"
"Shawn only told me that the reason why Normani hates Lauren is because her best friend died and Lauren's the reason of it."
"Lauren loved celebrating her birthday. I mean, birthday means you're growing up, heading to maturity, and stuff. It all just started three years ago when Keana died on her birthday. That's the reason why she hates celebrating it."
"But that was three years ago when that happened. Lauren shouldn't treat herself miserable like this because of that. No one wants Keana to be dead, it's not her fault."
Taylor pulled her car at the side before she speak, "I saw how the world turn their back on Lauren. And I almost did. I saw so much anger and hatred on Normani's eyes that I almost believe her. I mean, everyone don't want to be drag down in hell especially when you already figured out what your future would look like, right? But then I saw how Ally stood up for her, protect her from everyone, and be there for her no matter what. And that knocked me off that I'm her best friend and I should also do the same thing. Lauren needs someone to lean on to and not another person to blame her for what happened. Cause honestly, it's no one's fault."
"Taylor," I hold her hand and squeeze it gently when I saw that she's already crying.
"What really happened? Why does Normani hate her so much?"
"It's not my story to tell, Mila. But once you knew everything, just promise me that you'll always be there for her no matter what."
"I promise. Nothing in the past can ever change what I feel for her."
Taylor smiled before we get out of the car and go inside of the Hard rock cafe where Kendall and Selena are waiting.
"Hey, bitches." Taylor greeted.
"Hi." I greeted with a smile as well.
"Oh my god, I miss you Camila!" Kendall stand up from her seat and give me a hug followed by Selena. I haven't seen them for a long time.
"I miss you too, guys."
When they pulled away, Selena quickly ask, "Where is she?"
"She's at home."
"Camila, does she visit Keana's grave? Cause I swear!" Kendall.
"You knew her, Keny." Selena.
I shrugged my shoulders, "I honestly don't know. There are nights where she didn't come home. She told me she had a family emergency to go to."
"I'm sure she's at Keana's grave again. Lauren seriously needs to move on, for god sake! She's clearly not living into reality. She's living to her and Keana's moments every single day!" Kendall.
"You can't blame her! She's her first love." Selena defended Lauren.
"So? The point here is she's gone now and she will never come back!" Kendall.
"You should suppose to know what she feels right now considering of what happened before, right?!" Selena.
"Excuse me?! Ofcourse, I know what she feels. But this is honestly too much! I'm just basing my opinion to reality, okay?" Kendall.
"Can the both of you calm your asses down?! We're not here to argue whether Lauren suppose to feel okay or not okay. We're here to plan our surprise party for her." Taylor butt in, "Any idea?" Taylor continued.
"Party." Kendall.
"Party?! Do you think she's in the mood for that?" Selena.
"Do you know the word idea?" Kendall rolled her eyes.
Taylor took a loud sigh, "Talk to me when you two are both calm!" Then she turn around to face me, "Got any idea, Mila?"
"How about we filled our room with many balloons and in our bed there are like roses, bears, gifts and our message to her. I think she'll like it."
"Great! I'm considering that idea." Then Taylor turn around to face both Kendall and Selena, "How about you two?"
"Lauren loves amusement park, right?" Kendall asked.
"So much." Taylor.
"That's it! I will rent the whole amusement park just for her." Kendall.
Whoah.
"Cool." Taylor.
"Midnight driving and talk about things. More like girls bonding. I know a fancy ranch house and in the middle there's a cabin house. It would be a perfect spot for us after Mila and Keny's surprise." Selena.
"Alright, so here's the plan:
We will fill the room with balloons, teddy bears, gifts, roses, and our message for her then we're going to the amusement park and after that the midnight driving and cabin house." Taylor.
"Yup, I think that's great."
"I think so too." Kendall.
"So, I guess we're all set?" Taylor.
"I'll be the one who will buy stuff for the room surprise." Selena.
"I'll take the foods." Taylor.
"I'll help Selena to buy stuff."
"Alright, that's it. We'll see you girls at the house." Kendall.
We all nodded as we drive back to the campus. Since the surprise party for Lauren is all set, I'm thinking to ask the girls and Shawn to help me. After Taylor and I's conversation, only one thought stuck in my head: Make my girlfriend happy on her special day.
When we arrived at the campus, there's a lot of students gathering around the lobby.
"What's happening?" I asked and the girls shrugged their shoulders as they said "Don't have any idea." in unison.
And since I'm with Kendall, Selena, and Taylor, it wasn't that hard to walk straight up in front without any sweat. As the students give way to us, a huge banner of A memorial for our beloved Keana Marie Issartel is what welcomed us. At the corner, I saw a picture framed of Keana with a black ribbon attached to it.
Kendall, Selena, and Taylor gasped at the sight of it. They even looked so shock. In front is Normani who's standing at the podium wearing all black. Her eyes are red and puffy so it's pretty obvious that she's been crying. I look around to search for Dinah but I can't find her anywhere. Even Shawn and Alex.
"Keana is not just my best friend. She's gives me hope, light, happiness, and strength. Yesterday, my friend asked me what does Keana have that I can't move on even though it's already been 3 years since she died. The reason why is because...I have regrets inside. Too much regrets that I can't let myself move forward. And I hate myself. So much. Before Shawn and Lauren came, I had Keana first. And before they loved Keana, I loved her first. And when I got the strength to confess, Lauren killed her. She fucking killed the girl I'm deeply In love with!" Tears rolls down to Normani's cheeks continuously as anger became too strong in her voice.
Normani...is In love with Keana? Before I could even process the thoughts in my head, I heard Kendall speak beside me.
"Hurry! We need to find Lauren. This is not good."
_____
A/N:
Hi!!! So, the next chapter is a special chapter for Normani and her love story with Keana. I hope you enjoy this chapter and stay safe ❤️