Original author: Angelina
Translator: Angela
[not sure if this is needed, but I'm putting a warning here for blood and self-harm just in case there are readers who are sensitive about these topics (it's nothing really serious though)]
"Idiot, bastard, I can't believe he yelled at me." As he ran, Mai Ding wiped away his tears with his sleeve. An Ziyan had never yelled at him so fiercely or harshly before. He ran and ran, running until he had no more strength left in his body. Mai Ding sat down on by the river bank. His mind and his heart were full of An Ziyan's face and words.
Why did things turn out like this? Everything was supposed to be fine after their family situations were solved.
But there were problems between the two of them as well.
Lu Wei had followed Mai Ding all the way from his school. He stood in front of Mai Ding, took out a tissue, and handed it over: "Are you okay? How come you're crying?" Lu Wei said with an angelic smile on his face.
Mai Ding saw Lu Wei and accepted the tissue: "How come I bump into you everywhere?"
"God probably arranged it for us to meet. Why, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing."
"You'll feel better if you say what's on your mind and vent a little."
When he heard this, a lump formed in Mai Ding's throat again: "Who else could it be? He's so ridiculous! He told me that you like me, he was angry at me, and then he yelled at me! We've only known each other for two days so how could you possibly like me?" He said angrily. If An Ziyan heard these words, they would probably have another huge fight.
Lu Wei pretended to look upset: "Looks like it was my fault that you guys are quarreling. Maybe it's best if I don't bother you anymore." Lu Wei was about to leave when Mai Ding grabbed his hand: "Why do you have to leave? He already yelled at me. Why can't I make a single friend when he's surrounded by women all day long?"
"But this is bad, isn't it?"
"There's nothing bad about it. This time, it's all his fault. I'm not going to give in."
An Ziyan, who had driven his car out from the school's parking lot, parked his car nearby and watched Mai Ding, Lu Wei, and their intertwining hands. Without saying a word, he drove away. What could be more hurtful than seeing you together with another man?
Lu Wei continued to add fuel to the fire: "How could he scold you? Didn't you say that he treats you really well?"
"Since he said all those things about me, I never walk to talk to that horrible person ever again."
"Can you really do it?" Lu Wei asked.
When he was asked this, Mai Ding was stunned for a few seconds and then finally sagged his shoulders and shook his head: "There's no way I can. Even if he hits me, there's no way I can control the impulses in my heart and body that want to be close to him."
"Is it a good thing for love to go so far? He doesn't even trust you anymore. And it won't just be me; in the future, you won't be able to make friends anymore. How many more times will you two argue due to situations like this? If there isn't even a basic level of trust, then isn't love just a word on a piece of paper?"
People are strange. When other people said bad things about An Ziyan, Mai Ding's mind was full of An Ziyan's good points: "Even though he always calls me an idiot and a fool, there are also times when he calls me his baby. I don't care if it's just words on paper, I don't care if there's trust, I only want An Ziyan. I don't care about anything else."
Even after seeing Mai Ding's determination, Lu Wei still did not back down. It seemed like the cut was not deep enough yet, and needed another stab. Lu Wei was a ruthless hunter and of course, he wouldn't let Mai Ding break his perfect record.
"Then where are you going next? If you don't have a place to stay, you can come to my house."
Mai Ding shook his head: "It's okay, thanks for the offer, but I want to stay here for a while by myself and settle down my feelings."
Lu Wei stood up: "Then I won't bother you. Don't think too much about it and don't get too sad. You should understand what's worth it and what isn't."
Mai Ding stayed silent. According to Lu Wei's assumption, Mai Ding would eventually give in and go back to find An Ziyan. Lu Wei slowly calculated the time as he made his way to the entrance of An Ziyan's home. When he got there, he happened to bump into An Ziyan and Cao Chengyi as they were returning home. Lu Wei smiled: "You found a new beau pretty fast huh. Looks like I don't have to try that hard anymore."
An Ziyan looked at him coldly: "Why did you come here?"
"This street doesn't have your name on it, does it? Can I not come here?"
Cao Chengyi wanted to rush forward and beat up the arrogant Lu Wei, but An Ziyan pulled him back: "I'm warning you, don't touch him." The coldness in An Ziyan's eyes almost made Lu Wei gasp in fright, but he still managed to calm himself: "Why can't I touch him? It's not like he has your name on it right?"
"Don't mess with me, old man. The outcome won't be pretty."
"The outcome won't be pretty no matter what so I might as well satisfy myself once. His performance in bed should have already been well-trained by you, right?"
An Ziyan stepped forward and gave Lu Wei's nose a solid punch. Because there was so much force behind the punch, Lu Wei fell to the ground as bright red blood dripped from his nose. Lu Wei touched his nose and laughed. The effect he wanted to achieve was accomplished because not far away, he saw that Mai Ding was running toward him. Mai Ding helped Lu Wei stand up: "Are you okay? Is it serious?"
Lu Wei shook his head: "It's okay, it has nothing to do with him. It was me who wanted to persuade him to apologize to you, but it looks like I really shouldn't have come here."
When Mai Ding heard this, he felt even more enraged. He yelled at An Ziyan: "What's wrong with you? Why did you hit him?"
Cao Chengyi wanted to help An Ziyan by saying something but An Ziyan stopped him: "Let him speak."
"You think you're all right righteous for hitting him? I don't care if you yell at me, but wow what a man you are. I only made a friend, is it really that weird for you? Aren't you also together with another man? Do you not think you crossed the line by hitting Lu Wei like this?"
An Ziyan was deeply wounded, it was so deep that he could not feel pain through the numbness, only sadness.
Sadly, you cannot see my wounds; sadly, I cannot see your love.
Lu Wei continued to say kind words: "Mai Ding, it's not worth it to have an argument because of me. I'll feel really guilty."
Cao Chengyi yelled at Lu Wei: "You're the kind of guy who makes me so fucking disgusted."
"Do you feel proud to have a two on one fight? Let's go." Mai Ding let Lu Wei lean on him.
An Ziyan called Mai Ding: "Mai Ding."
Mai Ding stopped with his back to An Ziyan.
"If you take another step, it's over between us."
Mai Ding's entire body trembled. No matter how intense the argument was, how could this sentence be said so easily? It was clear that An Ziyan was in the wrong, yet the person who had to bear all the pain was Mai Ding. Mai Ding didn't want to separate, but he still stubbornly walked away with Lu Wei. An Ziyan turned around and walked towards his home while Cao Chengyi asked: "Why didn't you tell him?"
An Ziyan answered faintly: "What's the use?" Use love as an object to bet on? Bet that you will stay, bet that will look back at me? The result was you left for good.
Cao Chengyi looked at An Ziyan's tired silhouette. Although he couldn't see An Ziyan's expression, but Cao Chengyi could obviously feel An Ziyan's sadness. In all the years he had known An Ziyan, it was the first time seeing him like that. He looked back at Mai Ding, who was slowly walking away, and couldn't help but sigh. Even though they passed the hurdle with both of their families, how did everything become like this?
Mai Ding brought Lu Wei to the hospital, the bridge of his nose was broken and was receiving treatment from the doctor. As Mai Ding made his way to the hospital's washroom, it was as if all the energy in his body was gone. His stomach churned as if he was at sea and he could not help but lean over the sink and puke everything out. He felt so bad, so sick, so pained that it was as if he was about to die. He lifted his head and looked at his pale face in the mirror.
You said that you would always love me.
You swore that we would always be together.
You promised that we would go to the Maldives together.
"An Ziyan, you're a liar, a big fat liar." Mai Ding's fists hammered down on the mirror. The Mai Ding within the mirror broke into pieces as the glass shards stabbed Mai Ding's flesh. There was a pulsating pain as blood soaked his sleeves drop by drop. In his mouth, a broken whisper: "Liar, you took all of my love yet you said you wanted to leave me. Why don't you admit you were wrong? As long as you admit it, I won't need anyone else. I only want you, An Ziyan, I only want you."
Mai Ding refused Lu Wei's kind invite and returned home looking like a ghost. When Mai Ding's mother saw him, she knew that he must have had a fight with An Ziyan. Between couples, bickering and arguments happened often. Mai Ding's mother also felt that she didn't have anything helpful to say. Mai Ding ran to his bedroom, threw himself onto his bed, and lay motionless.
Oh Mai Ding, what has blinded your eyes? It certainly isn't your love.