Not edited. I am extremely nervous to publish this omg
Dawn's
It's been a week. A week since I've seen Ryder. A week since I've talked to Ryder. A week since I've been in school. A week of staying at home all day long with my father because he has the week off. A week of nonstop hell.
I couldn't face Ryder after what happened, he'd want me to talk to him and I just can't do that.
I'm such a coward.
Father told me I could stay home for the week, but- of course- there's a price.
He brings the belt down one more time and then leaves. He hasn't hit me in the face at all.
When he's done, I go back to my room.
You may think I'm absolutely bonkers for choosing this over going to school and facing Ryder. But Ryder knows way too much now. He knows I talk, and he has a clue something has happened to me or is happening to me. Plus, I'm going to get a beating either way. When he's doing during the day, he doesn't bother me at night.
It's still hard to believe I lost my shit like that, I usually have a handle on myself... I don't know what happened.
Ryder's
She hasn't been to school all week after what happened.
I think back to it, thinking of all the possible things I wish I had done different to avoid what I did to her.
I finally get hold of her hand and whip her around. It was rough, and it probably hurt her, but I'll apologize for that later.
I didn't get to.
Her hair is now out of her face, showing a very swollen, very bruised eye.
I feel myself get cold. Deadly cold.
Someone hit her. Someone hit her in the face. Who the fuck-
"Who the fuck did that to you, Dawn," I say in a deadly tone.
She breathes harder than she already was, and trashes around until I finally lose my grip.
She runs into the restroom and I run after her, but not quick enough because she had locked the stall door before I could get her.
I pound on the door, too angry to think about my actions.
"Open the fucking door now, Dawn!" I yell, "Who the hell did that!"
I keep pounding and pounding.
"Dawn!"
I pound some more, but stop when I hear a terrified voice cry out.
"Stop stop stop!"
I hear her gasping for air, and it takes me a minutes to realize it was Dawn.
"Get off! Stop! Stop!" She yells again, and I feel my heart break.
She keeps yelling, and I ram into the door, trying to bust it open.
After about 3 painful rams, the lock finally broke and I opened the door.
Her arms are over her head, as if she's trying to protect herself, and she rocks back and forth while yelling.
My heart skipped a beat as I looked at her. She was so scared.
I fall to my knees and wrap her in my arms, but she started to thrash around.
She yelled more, "Stop! Please! Stop! Get off!"
It's then that I see her eyes are closed.
I remember her last panic attack.
She doesn't know it's me. She doesn't know where she is. In this moment, she's somewhere else.
"Dawn, it's me," I try to say calmly, but you could still hear my panic.
"Dawn, baby, calm down. It's me. It's Ryder."
Her eyes suddenly pop open and she looks as panicked as I am.
I put my head in my hands and think about it all over again.
What happened to her?
I feel anger bubble inside me. Someone has hurt her. Someone has hurt her bad. Someone has causes her so much pain.
When she left me in the parking lot, I couldn't even think straight. Her voice. I can't even think about her voice. It was so broken and scared when I heard it, I don't want to think about it. One thing I've dreamt of was to hear her voice. Now I wish I didn't. I wish I could go back in time or erase the memory of how it sounded. How terrified it was. How petrified she was.
I didn't want to remember her voice like that, but she wouldn't say anything when I pleaded her to in the parking lot.
I want to go to her house. I want to see her. I want to tell her I'm sorry. But I won't. I should give her some space.
After third period, I ditched school, but decided to go back at the end of the day to see Jesse and ask him how Dawn is.
Until then, I go to the gym.