Ryder's
Why is she hurting? What happened? Why is she here if she can barely walk? What the hell?
I stare at her at her table, all alone, as my friends chatter up a storm.
What is wrong with her?
I noticed her hair staying to the left of her face, not letting it show... weird.
"Do you guys ever just wonder what goes on in a certain person's life? Like all the time just wondering about one certain person and what they do and stuff?" I hear TJ ask, "'Cause Ryder seems to be kind of obsessed with wondering about Dawn's," he smirks.
"Do you not find it even a little odd that she is always, no matter what, in some form of pain?" I ask, a little anger in my voice at the sight of her always limping and her face always scrunching when she does something as small as moving her arm sometimes.
"Ryder we know," TJ says softly, "we just don't think too much into it and get weird about it like you do."
"There is something up with her today," I say.
"Ryder there's always something-"
"But today is different," I interrupt, staring hard at TJ.
"Ryder she has a brother, and from all the stories they've told us, they like to horse play," Jenny says, chuckling a little.
I grumble to myself and get up.
"I'm going to figure it out."
"Gosh, Ryder, what do you think is wrong with her, huh?"
"I don't know," I say, frustrated, "just something."
Dawn's
I sit at my table, just staring at my hands.
I've done good avoiding Ryder and keeping my face covered, but not so good walking. I hobble and hobble and bite the inside of my cheek so hard it bleeds when I try to stay quiet.
I close my eyes and breathe, telling myself the day will be over soon and it will be okay. I will be okay.
"Are you okay?" Ryder's voice suddenly fills my head, making me jump a little and my right eye snap open. My left eye is still swollen shut.
I already know it's covered by hair, I had fixed it when I sat down, but that still doesn't stop me from being horrified of him seeing it.
I nod, a little confused as to why he's asking.
"Dawn," he says seriously, "you've been limping all day. Why?"
I stare at his face, getting uneasy in my seat.
I fiddle with my shanking hands under the table.
I shrug.
He passes me his phone and asks again.
"You've been limping all day," he closes his eyes, as if trying to keep calm, "why?"
'I pulled a muscle''
He reads it, and passes the phone back.
"Doing what?"
My breathing goes uneven
shit shit shit shit shit
I take a minute, racking my brain for something.
'running'
He nods and puts his phone on the table.
He stares at me, making me shake even more at the fear of him seeing my eye.
Thank god for tick hair
"Move your hair," he suddenly says.
My brows furrow.
I snatch his phone and type why?
"I just want to see your face," he says, close his eyes for a moment and then opening them back up to stare at me.
When I don't move, he reaches his hand up.
I flinch.
He stops and stares at me, and put his hand down. Then I realize he was going to move my hair and I don't know if I should be okay with it because it stopped him or be angry at myself.
"Did you think I was going to hit you?" he asks, "Why do you always think I'm going to hit you?" anger and hurt is in his voice.
My breathing is uneven again
I get up and quickly walk out of the cafeteria, but he follows.
"Dawn," he calls when we get to the hallway, "I'm not just letting it go this time. Tell me."
I try to go to the bathroom as fast as I could but he was faster.
He catches up quickly and tries to grab me, but I speed up.
Finally, I'm in front of the the bathroom and about run in, but he catches my hand.
He yanks me around, making me spin and crash into his chest.
My shoulder hurts from him yanking so hard. I look up at him, a little pissed.
He looks at me as well, but his eyes are trained on one thing on my face.
His eye brows furrow in anger, his breathing becomes short inhales and exhales, his mouth curls into a snarl, and there's fire in his eyes.
I stare, horrified.
shitshitshitshitshit
I look down and try to get out of his grip but he won't let go.
I start breathing heavily and pushing against him trying to get free.
"Who the fuck did that to you, Dawn," he demands, his voice deadly.
I breath harder, and thrash around until I finally get free.
I run into the bathroom, and he follows me in
I run into a stall, and locked it as fast as I could
He pounds on the door and shouts, "Open the fucking door now, Dawn!" he pounds more, "Who the hell did that!"
Memories start to crawl up my brain. Horrible horrible memories.
I cover my ears with my hands and squeeze my eyes shut.
I sit on the floor and rock back and forth, fighting off the terrors creeping into my mind
"Open the damn door right now, you fucking bitch!" He screams
I hold Jesse closer to me, not listening to him.
After a while, he stops, and I relax a little a few minutes later.
But suddenly, the door is being ripped off it's hinges.
"There you are you little bitch," he says evilly.
He picks me up roughly and I yell at Jesse to stay put and cover his ears.
Father screams as and beats me, releasing all of his anger and frustrations on my small 15 year old body.
"Dawn!" Ryder yells again.
"Stop stop stop stop!" I cry out
My lungs ache for more air as I only take short breaths.
"Get off! Stop! Stop! Stop!" I yell again, folding my arms over my head and rocking back and forth.
I keep yelling and rocking and shaking. I don't notice a silver lock loudly clang on the floor and the stall door fly open.
I'm suddenly wrapped in someone's arms, and I try to fight them off the best I could.
"Stop! Please! Stop! Get off!" I scream.
"Dawn, it's me," a voice says calmly but there was also panic, "Dawn, baby, calm down. It's me! It's Ryder."
I'm thrown into reality, as I open my eyes and look around me and take deep breaths.
My vision goes black, and then comes back. then goes black again.
I fight for consciousness until I can see again.
I breath hard, realizing what just happened.
Oh god
I don't look at Ryder.
He cradled me in his arms for a little while longer before I finally came to senses and fought to get up.
"Dawn-" he starts but I don't let him finish.
I finally get out of his arms and walk out of the bathroom.
Ryder comes out behind me.
He doesn't say anything. He just follows me as I walk to an exit.
stupid you're so stupid, you're so stupid
Tears prick my eyes, but I don't let them fall.
I walk outside, going through the parking lot.
Go home just go home
"Dawn," he says with worry, "what just happened? Talk to me, tell me right now."
I don't say anything. Not because I don't want to, but because I'm scared I'll end up telling him everything. That when I start talking I won't be able to stop.
mute. you're mute.
He gets in front of me, stopping me. I stare at his chest.
He doesn't say anything. He just stares down at me.
"What happened to you?," he whispers, barely audible. I don't think it was meant to be heard.
I stand still.
I stand still with a thundering heart.
I stand still with horror.
I put my forehead on his chest, and take a moment to relax a little. I take a deep breath through my nose and realize his cologne smells really good. I relax a little more.
What the hell do I do now?
A part of me was relieved. Relieved he knew I could talk. Relieved to not have to carry on that lie anymore with him. No more writing or typing everything that I had to say. God, what a pain in the ass that was.
"I just want to hear your voice," he says.
He takes my hands in his, and I lift my head off his chest. My arms tingle with my hands in his.
I look around, not sure what to say.
nothing nothing you're mute you're mute
"Please," his voice cracks. My heart swells with a new... unfamiliar feeling.
"Please," he whispers. He takes my hands and puts them on his chest. I could feel his heart beat. It's so steady. So soothing.
I stay silent.