It was not until I sat down inside the plane I started crying. I just put on my glasses to avoid a display of my emotions and cried during my flight from Quebec to home. I have grown attached to the boys and I felt a little more than a fangirl now. It was a dream-like phase for me and it ended.
I was the luckiest of lucky but it felt really heart wrenching to leave them. I still remembered the kiss I shared with my bias that was wildest of my dreams and even giggled at the thought before but now that it happened everytime I thought about it, my heart and body responded accordingly.
He never explained why he kissed me but his the look in his eyes made me think stupid stuff.
Today was the concert and even when boys wanted it, they can't drop me off to the airport. Clayton came, dad and his second wife who gifted me a whole lot of stuff and I couldn't manage to hate the woman.
Even though I knew I will be back to my normal life but it felt like I was leaving the boys unprotected.
When my mother received me at the airport back home, she hugged me real tight seeing my condition probably she didn't utter a word.
"Internship starts tomorrow?" She finally uttered something and I managed to nod.
"Do they look as handsome as they do on the poster?" She asked to make me smile I guess.
"Better." I had to smile at the memories.
She laughed.
For the rest of the drive, I drowned myself in misery and songs by VICTOR.
***
"I wish we could attend a concert together," Maddie said as we sat down with movies, pizza, and ice cream that night.
"They are perfect Maddie even behind the camera, they are so damn hard working."
"Of course they are Zee, we don't stan useless people."
Suddenly my phone started ringing and Zaidan's name flashed on the screen.
My heart stopped not because he was calling but he was calling after we kissed. I was still not sure if that was real.
"Hey," I said in a small tone and Maddie covered her mouth with wide eyes.
"I miss you Zenna." His words sent a ripple of warmth and desire through me and I wanted to run back.
"Me too," I answered back.
"And rest of the members are sulking, especially Skyler." He informed me and that made me smile.
"Come back now," Brent shouted over the phone.
"How cold-hearted can you be?" That came from Ross.
"Is your friend pretty Zee?" Michelle called out and I winked at Maddie making her curious.
"Skyler will call later, he is still taking a shower," Zaidan said.
"How are you?" I asked.
"Miserable."
I laughed awkwardly.
"How about you use a stand in for scenes with Camila?" I asked not sure why he was miserable.
"Like a stunt double?" He chuckled.
"Yeah," I said in a breezy tone.
"Or you can be a stand in for Camila." He offered.
"Very funny Zaidan." I rolled my eyes at his crazy ideas.
"I am serious, I can be naturally romantic with you." After the kiss, he had been blatant about his words that made me blush to my hair roots.
I was speechless and Maddie giggled seeing me blush.
"You don't do that to a fangirl Zaidan, it is unhealthy for our hearts."
"You know you are more than just that for me." He said it with utter seriousness and for a second I forgot how to breathe.
"Thanks, Liam and Ross for making me realise what I was feeling around you. And Brent for making me realize that you were leaving soon. That day at bowling alley I hated seeing you with Liam."
My heart had restarted now and it was beating too fast.
"Zaidan." I managed to mumble.
"Please come back." And as he said that I was crying again.
This was actually happening. Imagine having lived all your life admiring a person on screen too beautiful and unreal to be true and then that person says he misses you. I felt happy, overwhelmed, excited and anxious all in a moment.
And I didn't know what to say in that moment.
I was glad when Maddie took over the phone and I started talking in an upbeat tone.
It is now that I was far away I realized, I was way past the fan mode, I might like Zaidan a little more.
***
"This is crazy." Maddie classified my problem into the crazy category as I expected.
"What should I do?"
"Camila is a bitch." Maddie was still on her commenting mode.
"That is not a solution to my problem Maddie."
"Fangirl Maddie advises you to go and live a romantic life with Zaidan but my sensible Maddie says do what you feel right in your heart."
I understood what she meant. Zaidan was missing me probably because I was the only girl that took care of her and he was around the longest after being heartbroken. If he gives a chance to other girls which he would since he had so many gorgeous options around him I stood nowhere close.
"Camila will be with Zaidan for most of the day when the shooting starts." Maddie reminded the painful truth.
"Not helping Maddie." I glared at her.
"For now start with the internship."
So that's what I did.
***
Once in a while someone from VICTOR a message popped up on snap chat but due to the concert I know they were super busy. I was kind of worried how Zaidan might think of my reaction to his words, did he hate me now?
And Zaidan's hate was scary. Did he consider me an oppurtunist like Camila?
The internship was surprising well. I was being paid and my boss was not a jerk. People at worked minded their own business and I was doing what I loved.
After two weeks my dad called me.
"How are you, Zee?" He asked in stiff formal tone.
"Fine, how are you?"
"I have started walking on my own now though with a prominent limp."
"Oh, Okay." And then I had nothing to say.
He didn't ask about Mom or anything else, he was silent and so was I.
"How is everyone?" I asked though I knew how they were.
I practically read every news about them.
"Really busy." He answered.
"Do you want something, dad?" I asked pretty sure he called me for a reason.
"I-Before- well I want to say that, earlier boys suggested you to be their tour photographer but I refused because I thought your mother will disapprove and that boys might be getting attached to you." He explained guilt evident in his tone.
"Now the concert is coming to and end, so is there anything else?" Agitation seeped in my tone.
"They are angry with me and talk to me less, I want you to join us back." He finally shared the reason for call.
"When do you want me back?" I asked feeling a little trepidation now.
"As soon as concert ends you can be hired as band's official photographer."
That was dream come true job to do what I loved around people that I loved.
"Where will I live?" I asked worried that I will be thrown in with Camila again.
"I have an empty place which you can rent.I got it from the company."
"Give me a week's time. I have to inform my present employer about it and ask mom." I said feeling excited all of a sudden.
"That's totally fine. After a week boys come back from their mini-tour as well. You start then."
"Thanks, dad, I will call you as soon as everything is confirmed."
"But make sure not later than a week, because you have to start shooting for promotional pictures for Zaidan's upcoming drama with Camila." And then he hung up.
It hit me when I realized what just happened. I walked into this trap of watching Zaidan and Camila working in proximity with my feelings now clear for Zaidan and rest of the band to see.
-----------------------------------------
At least she is going back :)
And we how Zaidan feels about her. Let's just hope he doesn't have some lingering feelings for Camilla :D
She just got the best job in the world. xD