Hey guys, I want to thank you all for making it past the 1K votes for this story! I appreciate all the feedback and support you guys have given me over the past few months and it makes me so happy to see that other people enjoy the story :) I'm sorry that this update took a bit longer, but I've been so busy! I hHave been to the Spanish GP last race and today is currently my last day in Ireland. I hope that when I'm home I can update more regularly again! :D
The private plane kept Keira's mind off everything and she happily questioned the pilot about everything. It made her feel like herself again and she almost forgot about why she even was on this plane. Almost. They way Minttu kept looking at her every few minutes returned that sinking feeling in her stomach and it made it hard to concentrate on her conversation. The fact that she was on a plane made it impossible to escape the situation and that was frightening her more than she would admit, although it didn't make any sense. Somewhere in the dark corners of her mind a forcefully forgotten memory made its unwelcome return. The fear accompanied by that memory also returned and her body turned cold in response. Closed doors, eyes following her, no way out of the situation, nothing that could protect her.
'Keira, are you alright?' the pilot asked when he noticed Keira's wide eyes and the look on her face as if she had seen a ghost.
'Yes, I'm fine,' she responded immediately, but the way her voice sounded higher than normal gave away that she was not telling the truth.
'We are not going in to land for another 15 minutes at least, so maybe you should lie down for a bit,' the pilot suggested and concern was visible on his face.
Keira was only half focussing on what he was saying, she was desperately looking for a way out. Only whenever she was looking out of the window, the only thing she could see was sky and nothing that would look like solid ground. The door was closed, there was no escape, like so many times before. She felt herself starting to tremble and images of the past turned her vision blurry. Then she was back there, back where she promised herself never to end up again.
A dark room, which she never even knew existed, her bag torn out of her hands and her back slammed against the wall. The voices of other students in the hallway, sounding cheerful and free. Then she felt his hands on her body, needily making their way under her clothes, not caring to be gentle. His body pushed against hers, making it hard to breath being pinned between him and the wall. A button popped from her shirt when it was forcefully opened and it rolled away on the ground, taking her hope of this ending soon with it. His teeth on her breasts, making her eyes well up with tears. A cry from pain when her nipples were next, but a strong hand was placed over her mouth making the sound go no further than her throat. Her skin raw and red from him compellingly rubbing his stubble against all parts of her body, along with sickening words escaping from his lips. Whenever she showed the tiniest bit of discomfort or moving away from what he was trying next, it earned her even more pain. A blow to the head, just there were no one would notice. Nails scratching on her skin, leaving deep red marks her shirt would hide from the world. He limbs bend in ways they weren't intended to, making it hard for her to use them normally during the day. The sound of him undoing his belt, resulting in her to prepare for even more pain and dejection.
'Keira, Keira, wake up!' Minttu's voice sounded far away, but the urgency in it wasn't lost.
Blinking a few times with her eyes, Keira was brought back to the present, although still confused. Minttu's face took shape again and she realised she was on the ground, as the face was hovering above her. She didn't remember how she ended up here, but the cold sweat on her body made it impossible to forget what she had been experiencing just now. She had done so well the last weeks to forget about it all, to get on with her life and be the girl she wanted to be. Now the confidence was lost again, the rollercoaster of emotions she had felt since she had found out the truth about Seb and Hanna had taken its toll on her. It showed her she was still the same girl David had turned her into, the same pathetic girl who wasn't important to everyone.
'What happened? You just were completely out of it,' Minttu grabbed one of Keira's hands. 'You were mumbling things and you're eyes were rolling all funnily, we couldn't calm you down,' she sighed. She pointed sideways to show who she had meant with 'we' and shook her head.
Turning her head did hurt, but Keira wanted to see what Minttu was pointing at. When she did she saw that Kimi was also crouched down beside her, with that same look of concern on his face. Although it was harder to tell because of his inability to really show emotions, but those icy blue eyes were definitely different than the other times she had been in his presence. She suddenly felt embarrassed to be in this situation, being a guest and acting like someone that should be admitted to a mental hospital.
'I don't feel so well,' was all she could come up with and she looked to the ceiling of the plane to avoid their eyes.
'That's obvious, you look horrible,' Minttu responded and she stroked Keira's hand as a way of comforting her. 'Let's lie you down on something more comfortable than the floor,' she continued and she signed to Kimi with her eyes.
Kimi understood the message and before Keira could say anything, she felt a strong pair of arms lifting her from the hard floor, in a more gentle way than she would have expected from him. She was pushed against his warm body and she instantly felt herself calm down, the comfort of having someone's arms around her was worth more than anything. Not that she would admit that to anyone ever, as that would give them confirmation of her weakness. She then felt herself being put down on the soft chairs and gave Kimi a small smile as a way to say 'thank you'. He nodded and they both understood what they intended to say to each other. She now understood what Minttu had been saying about the media showing only one side of Kimi, he indeed had a whole softer side that not many people had the luck to get to know. They way Kimi and Minttu had been interacting with each other, during the weekend but especially on the plane showed her what true love looked like.
'Are you feeling a bit better?' Minttu had taken the empty chair next to Keira and was handing her a bottle of water.
'A bit, thank you. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm just so tired,' Keira attempted a smile to show Minttu that she was alright. She attempted a few sips of water and rubbed her hands against her head. This whole weekend had been awful and she longed to be home, to sleep for days without waking up.
'I know, don't think about it just now,' Minttu shushed and she let Keira drop her head on her shoulder. 'Go sleep for a bit, maybe that will make you feel better,' she planted a kiss on Keira's head and made herself comfortable in the chair. When she turned her head to look at Keira she noticed that her friend was already sleeping. She exchanged a smile with Kimi and then closed her own eyes.
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She had thanked Kimi and Minttu profusely and they had kept saying that it had been their pleasure, that she was always welcome to tag along. Minttu had kept texting after they had left, that is was no problem for her coming over is she needed her. It made Keira realise that Minttu had become a friend, although they didn't know each other that long yet. It was still weird that she was Kimi's girlfriend, but when she was together with the two of them it was a lot less weird. Although she knew she probably wasn't going to need Minttu to come over, it was reassuring to know that a friend was living close by. Like Seb.
Her eyes flew open, and she bit her lip. Seb. She had managed not to think about him for the whole time she had been laying down, until know. Bloody hell, why did it feel like being hit by a brick when she did? He stomach tightened and an uncomfortable feeling spread through her body. She subconsciously scoured her memory to find the image of the bluest pair of eyes she had ever seen. They calmed her down, if it was in real life or in her head, they just did. She felt her breathing steadying again when she had closed her eyes and pretended that Seb was there, for her. In her thoughts he was wearing a figure hugging white shirt, a pair of tight pale blue jeans and a jacket loosely wrapped around shoulders. She knew what was hiding underneath that shirt and suddenly wished for it to be gone so she could see his toned muscles. The sun was illuminating his face, resulting in his hair looking almost golden and his eyes reflecting the sunlight making them stand out even more. His smile however was what was drawing her attention, that broad smile showing his perfect white teeth and making his whole face lit up with joy. So simple, but oh so perfect. She wanted to be close to him, feel that perfect body close to hers and press her face in the curve of his neck. Taking in that familiar smell of mint and petrol, while running her hands along his body up to his hair and losing herself in his touch.
Fuck, she went from not thinking about Seb to fantasising about Seb. That was no good, no good at all. Shit, what was wrong with her? She suddenly sat bold upright on the sofa she had been laying on since her return back home. He duvet she had carried downstairs to sleep on the sofa fell off and she suddenly felt small and exposed. If everyone could see her like this, tear stains on her cheeks, uncombed hair, smeared make-up on her face and stupidly fantasising about someone she would never have. She started to laugh, it was all very funny. Just when she seemed to have her life on rails again there had been thrown an obstacle on the rails causing her to derail again. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be happy? She picked up the duvet from the floor and closed her eyes again, trying to escape from the world for the millionth time.
She woke up from noises outside and although feeling disorientated she sat up to look what had woken her. When she had walked over to the kitchen window she could see the neighbours children playing outside. They had drawn a line on the road with chalk and two pedal cars were lined up behind it. A third one was laying on its side only a metre from the line and the child still inside it was bawling his eyes out. He had clearly jumped the start of their little race and was now paying the price for it. Keira smiled to herself and it reminded her of her own youth, luckily for the little boy his mother hurried out from the house and was now comforting him. The other children were now also coming over to cheer him up and within no time he was smiling again. His mother returned the pedal car to the start and helped her little boy get in again. Keira noticed herself cheering for the three young boys when a little girl had waved a self-made flag to signal the start of the race. The race was painfully slow, but the joy on the faces of everyone involved made that insignificant. She smiled when the boy who won jumped out of his car and ran around in circles yelling until he was dizzy. Maybe life wasn't so complicated after all, there was always joy to find in the small thing. All she had to do was chase these small things.
Her encounter with the children this morning made her decide it was time to leave the house, get some fresh air to clear her mind. Although she knew it always helped, she often couldn't get herself to do it. However seeing that little boy trying again after he failed, with as much determination as possible was a kick up the backside for her. It was not like she had to be with other people, she just needed a change of scenery and some vitamin D. She knew exactly where she wanted to go. She had considered going to the café, but she wasn't up yet to be questioned by her old colleagues about how life was going. They had been so excited when she had told them about her first race as Seb's performance engineer and had ended up spending several hours in the little cafe. She wasn't up for that right now and the chance of running into Seb or Hanna was also too much a risk as she didn't trust herself to act as a normal human being.
It was quiet on her way to the lake, despite it being a beautiful day. The fact that the holidays were over was probably to blame for that, only the children who were too young for school were outside. Also a few senior couples were enjoying the last days of summer, which stung a little bit as they looked so happy and fully focussed on each other. Showing her how love should be, how desperately she was hoping to find someone who she would be happy with until she was grey and old. Despite that nagging feeling she was able to appreciate all that life had to offer and how lucky she actually was. Despite not having someone decent to spend her life with, she had a great family, awesome job and the best friends she could wish for.
The lake was as breathtaking as she remembered and when she set foot on the banks she immediately felt the peaceful surroundings making her feel at ease. She sought out her favourite rock and tried not to remember the occasional occupant of the rock next to it. The sun was shining high in the sky, illuminating the trees and reflecting on the rippling water. It was a scene you would see on a postcard and she was very fortunate to see it in real life. She opened her bag an took out the book she had brought with her. Her intention was to spend the next couple of hours here, until it was time to go home. The sound of the rippling water was almost hypnotising and within no time her book engulfed her completely, making everything around her disappear. However, the tears escaping from her eyes betrayed the illusion that she had coped with everything.
Time ticked by, the only occasional sound was that of a bird, a page being turned or a sniffle. The person walking up to Keira was so quiet, that if you didn't know he was there you wouldn't notice him. If it was intentional or not, he seemed very determined albeit the nervousness visible in his body language. He seemed to second guess his decision to come here and made an attempt to turn around, but then stopped walking to turn around again. His eyes were focussed on the girl sitting on the rock, clearly having his undivided attention. However, the air seemed no longer clear and welcoming, it was now vibrating tension and a cloud shifted so it was now hiding the sun, taking away the comforting feeling of the clearing.
The boy was now standing behind the girl, clearly debating his actions. After a few moments he took a deep breath and spoke. 'Can I talk to you?' he asked the girl, before sitting down on the rock next to her.