Alexander agrees to go home after we got the documents we needed without any questions. We stop over our hotel room first to grab our things and take a shower. After then, we start our journey back home. I'm a little worried about Alexander though. He is going to be driving for the whole night and I'm afraid that he would fall asleep along the way.
I tried to not to sleep as much as possible and talk with him to at least entertain him but I can't help but close my eyes most of the time. We stop a few times to get off the car to stretch our bodies and drink coffee on the stores along the way.
We sure have a long night. Eight hours of straight driving is super tiring especially for Alexander.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
He parks his car along the street and turns the engine off. He gets off the car and opens the door for me. "Come on." He smiles excitedly.
"Where are we?"
"You'll see. Just come on."
I yawn and rub my eyes. Though confuse of what's this guy's up to right now, I still get out of the car, just like what he asked me to do. He grabs my hand and pulls me. As we move forward, the place becomes familiar. The vast area filled with flowers as tall as my waist, the stone pavement that leads to a big old tree beside the wooden bench. Yes, I'm very much familiar with this place. I've been here once and I could not forget what happened here.
I sit on the bench as Alexander sits beside me.
The sky is a beautiful shade of orange and pink. The gentle light from the rising sun illuminates the beautiful place. The water droplets hanging on the leaves of the tree shines like diamonds as the light hit it.
"Are you cold?" He asks.
"No. I'm fine."
He smiles and squeezes my hand tighter. "The last time I'd brought you here, we've seen the sun set. Now, I want to share the sunrise with you."
"Alexander." I whisper cherishing his name as I speak of it.
"I actually prayed that watching the sunrise with you here would mean a new start with you. I had hurt you before, but now I'll make sure to make it up to you and correct all my mistakes. I know it's going to be hard but as long as you're with me, I'll be fine with it. I love you, Melissa."
I look away from him and look up to the sky. My heart feels heavy as thoughts rush to my brain. Those sweet words that I've been wanting to hear from him. The words that I've been longing for. The sweet sensation of just sitting beside him, talking about his feelings for me, brings uncontrollable sadness to me.
"What do you want to happen?" I say softly.
He lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. "I want you to be my girlfriend."
I gasp as I stare at him. He's looking at me with eyes full of passion and... love. My tears come pouring down without even realizing it. My heart is just really heavy and painful that I think I might have a heart attack anytime soon. My vision blurs because of my tears. I could not see anything clearly but Alexander. "If you said that before, I might jump and celebrate. I might feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world, but things are not like that right now. Alexander look, everything is different that before – Alexander, what you want is... hard. I have a boyfriend and I'm happy with him. I love -"
He grabs my face and his lips find mine. He kisses me harshly. His tongue enters my mouth, invading, but slowly, his kisses become gentle, sweet, and full of passion. My mind goes blank as everything goes black. Unconsciously, I respond to his kisses with the same passion, longing, and... love he is showing. He pulls away and looks at me. He smiles and kisses me once more.
"Melissa." He says as he pulls away.
"Stop this Alexander. This is wrong." I say removing his hand from my face. "This is wrong." I whisper, saying it to myself.
"No." He says firmly, cupping my face with his hands again. He lifts my face for our eyes to meet. "With you wavering like this, I could not stop. I know I still have a chance. I know I could still get you. I won't stop Melissa because I know that it's me that you are in love with and not him."
I could not agree nor deny what he just said. All I could do is cry as I stare at him. "I hate you, Alexander." I say between sob.
"I know." He hugs me tightly.
* * *
Alexander parks his car two blocks away from home. I don't want to take chances since Zac already texted me that he's already in the house. I don't want to witness a fight and make a mess in front of my house.
"I'll call you later. Tell me how it goes, okay?" Alexander states.
"Okay." I am about to open the car door but he stops me by grabbing my shoulder and make me face him. "What?"
He lifts my chin. He nears his face and plants a soft kiss on my lips. "I love you."
I move away quickly. "I need to go."
"Okay." He looks sad but tries to hide it with a smile.
I do not wait for him to say or do anything more and get out of the car. I walk away and never look back at him until I reach my house.
Zac's car is parked outside. My heart flinches in pain at the sight of his car. I don't want to see him right now. I am not prepared to be with him. I was kissed by a guy a while ago and I don't know how to face my boyfriend. Is this considered cheating? The thought of it brings a painful stab of guilt in my heart.
Mom, dad, and Zac are on the dining room, eating breakfast when I enter. They all rush to me upon seeing me.
"Melissa!" They all say.
"Thank God you're safe." Zac hugs me tightly. "I was worried, babe. Where have you been?"
"Melissa, if you have any problem, you can talk to us, you know. We won't get angry at you. Just don't do this ever again, okay?" Mom says in obvious worry.
"I'm sorry if I made you all worry." I say as I push myself away from Zac. I smile apologetically at them.
"Where have you been?" Dad says in a firm voice.
"I went to get this." I give the folder to my mom.
She looks at me confusedly but didn't say anything and open the folder. My heart is on my throat as I watch her open the folder. She pulls out a paper and takes a look at it. Her expression instantly changes as she sees the paper.
"What's that?" Dad pulls the paper out of mom's hand and just like her, he immediately looks shock as he sees the document.
"W-where did you-" Mom's voice is full of terror, covering her mouth with her hand.
"Mother Belle is sending her regards." I say smiling at them.
"Oh Melissa." Mom hugs me as her sobs fill the room.
"Mom, please don't cry."
"I'm sorry if we did not tell you about this." She says between sobs.
"Mom, it's okay. It's okay. I'm fine." I hug her tightly and rub her back. I pull away and smile at her. Tears continuously streams down her cheeks. My eyes heat up at the sight of my mom crying. "Stop crying." I say in shaking voice.
"You should have asked us about this instead of going far away." Dad says firmly.
"I'm sorry dad. I was extremely anxious. I actually wanted to tell you about it but I can't do it. I just wanted to know the truth and I thought that going there is a better choice than asking you."
"Who told you about this?" Dad's anger is written all over his face.
I look at him, stunned for a moment. Alexander's face appears on my mind. I could not tell them that I heard about this from him. It would just cause a much more trouble. Shivers travel down my spine as I thought of the things that could possibly happen if I told them about Alexander.
"Dad, it's not important." I say instead.
"Where have you heard about this?!" He repeats himself in a much more powerful voice that makes me tremble.
"It's not important, dad." I repeat as well.
I hear him groan in frustration.
"Lissandro, she has her reasons. Let's respect that!" Mom shouts at him. "Could you please control yourself? She might be in shock. She doesn't need your anger."
"Honey, I'm not angry. I just want to know who told her this. There might be someone of course." He answers in a calmer voice. "We kept this secret for years. I'm just –"
It's my first time seeing dad act this way. He has always been calm about everything. We had been through bad situations but dad has always been calm in facing them, until today.
"We knew that this day would come. We knew it from the start. We can't keep it a secret from her forever, sooner or later she will know it. It's our fault for keeping the truth away from her." Mom leads me to the living room and we sit on the coach. Zac and dad then follow as well.
"W-we're married for five years yet we were not given a child. We went to several doctors and tried different ways but I was still unable to bear a child." Her voice is shaking. She keeps on wiping away the tears on her eyes as she talks while makes me tear up too. She's holding my hand firmly like she is scared that I might go somewhere. "We went to the House of Lost Angels in hope of finding the child that we always wanted. And we found you there. You were only six months old that time. You we're so small that I'm scared that you might crush in my arms. The first time we saw you, we were already certain that it's you we were looking for."
With my free hand, I wipe away her tears.
"You actually have a twin sister." She states looking directly at me.
"I know." I say nodding.
She looks surprise for a moment and when she recovers, she smiles. "They said that she is weak since the two of you were born but she was fortunately adopted by a doctor."
"Yeah. They told me that too."
"We're sorry, Melissa if this is how you learned about this. We tried to tell you this a lot of times but we were scared. I was afraid that you might leave us and look for your real family. I'm sorry for being selfish. I just don't want to lose you."
"Mom." I hold her cheeks. "I won't ever do that."
Dad approach and hug us. My tears fall down my eyes. It was a mixture of happiness and sadness all rolled into one.
"I would never leave you like that. You are my only parents. When Mother Belle showed me these documents, I did not cry at all, because what's written on the papers is nothing compared to the love and time we've spent together. It is nothing compared to all the memories I made with you. You may not be my biological parents but you were the one who nourished and nurtured me to who I am today. You showered me with love, care, and support to everything I do. By that, you are more than qualified to be my parents. I would thank God forever for giving you both to me. You are and would always be God's biggest blessing to me."
* * *
"You should have told me about it and not went there alone." Zac says as he stands beside his car.
A ping of guilt hit me and look down on the ground. I told them that I went to the orphanage alone and hide the fact about Alexander being there as much as possible. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, babe. I could understand you somehow. But next time, when you feel like everything is hard and you could not take it anymore, just tell me about it. I am your boyfriend and I would always be here for you no matter how hard the situation can get, you understand?"
I nod, keeping my eyes on the ground. I could not even look at him in the eyes. He is just a great guy. He never hurt me. He never let me cry. He is the best boyfriend every girl could have, yet here I am, unsure of my feelings for him. My tears fall directly to the ground at the thought of it.
"Hey?" He lifts my face and makes me face him. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"It's because you were saying something like that." I whine.
He chuckles and hugs me. "I did not know you are this sensitive, babe."
I punch his chest. "Shut up!"
Zac is my boyfriend. I'm happy with him. He loves me and I love him. I must stay loyal to him.
We stayed like that for a couple of minutes until I calm down.
"I need to go now. I'll come here tomorrow, okay?" Zac says as he releases me. I nod and smile at him.
He kisses my lips and I respond to it.
"I love you." He says as we pull apart.
"I love you too." I answer. "I love you too." I repeat, saying it to myself, convincing myself that, that is how I feel.
I look at him as he enters his car and drives away from me. He is already out of my sight but the heavy feeling in my heart still remains, crushing me slowly. The more that I look at Zac; the more that he smiles kindly at me. The more that he shows me kindness; the more that it pains me.
Zac is someone precious to me and I don't want to lose him.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I check it and see Alexander's name on it. I close my eyes and put it back in my pocket.