Alexander parks his car in front of a two-story building.
HOME FOR THE LOST ANGELS.
I read the sign on my mind. I look at Alexander.
"We're here." He says as he turns the engine off.
With that, my heart begins to pound hard. I feel scared all of a sudden. I go out of the car but had a hard time keeping my balance. My legs are wobbly like jelly and make me lean a little on the car for support.
"Hey, are you okay?" Alexander approaches me worriedly.
"I'm fine." I snap. I take a deep breath and walk like as if I'm feeling nothing wrong. Though my heart is about to explode, I continue walking until I reach the reception desk. An old nun is there doing something behind the desk. Being inside the building is like pouring cold water to me. It makes me uneasy that I want to run back home.
"G-goo -" My voice is high pitch, making it sound weird because of my nervousness. I clear my throat. "Good evening."
She lifts her head and smile as our eyes meet. "Good evening." She says sweetly. "What can I do for you?" She tilts her head and look behind me. "Oh." She chuckles. "It's been a long time, Alexander. It's good to see you."
Alexander stands beside me. "It's good to see you too Sister Clarisse." He says with a smile. "You still look the same as last time. Wait ..." He leans down and looks deeply at her. "Sister, you look much younger than last time."
She lightly hit Alexander's head with her hand. "You're still as silly as always." She laughs jollily. "Oh dear. Oh dear, what a silly boy. Why are you here, anyway?"
"This is Melissa." Alexander introduces me. Sister Clarisse looks at me and smiles sweetly. She has the kind of smile that could make you feel better. "She would like to talk to Mother Belle."
"Oh dear. Oh dear. That's unfortunate. Mother Belle is not here. She'll be back tomorrow evening."
My smile fades.
We traveled for eight hours to be here and it's all for nothing?! I lied to my parents and to Zac just to be here. Moreover, I endured being alone with Alexander for a very long time, and all of those for nothing?! I went here in order to clarify my identity. I want to end all my worries and what ifs. I want to normally talk to my parents again. I want to know who I really am.
I look at Alexander. He remains calm.
"Am. Excuse me sister, but can someone help us other than Mother Belle?" I ask politely.
"Well, what is your concern about?"
"It's about the adoption eighteen years ago. The twin sisters, remember that?" Alexander says when he sees me having a hard time answering.
"Oh I see. Well dear, you really need Mother Belle for that."
I look at Alexander with my what-should-we-do face. We traveled so far and it's just all for nothing.
He is silent for a while, thinking about what he should do next, I guess. By that time, I have the chance to look at him closely. His hair, his nose, his eyes, his jaw ... his lips. Damn. He's just handsome, gorgeous, hot, sexy ... okay I need to stop!
I shake my head and look away.
"That's really unfortunate." Alexander states. He reaches for his pocket and grabs his wallet. From there, he takes a business card and gives it to Sister Clarisse. "Would you please contact me if Mother Belle is already here, sister?"
"Of course, of course."
"Thank you, sister." He smiles at her. "We'll just go back tomorrow."
"You're welcome. Well then, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye sister."
"Bye Alexander. Bye Melissa." She says as she waives at us. "God bless you both."
"Let's go." Alexander grabs my hand and carefully pulls me out of the building.
"Why did you say that?!" I blurt once inside his car. "Do you think this place is just at the back of your house that you could just visit anytime? Let me remind you, this is an eight hour drive away from home!"
"Yeah." He nods. "And?"
"You told her that we'll be back tomorrow! So you're thinking of going home tonight and coming back tomorrow?! That's insane! I don't agree to that." I won't ever agree to that. I cross my arms to on my chest in frustration. Its eight hours back and another eight hours going here and another eight hours back home. That's a total of twenty four hours of travel! That's a whole day and night of travelling!
"That's really insane. I don't agree to hat either."
I stare at him in confusion.
"That's a hassle, Melissa. A great hassle to me in particular." He says staring at me. "I am the driver. I need to stay awake all the time. It's tiring and dangerous as well."
"What do you mean then?"
"We're going to look for a hotel or something where we can stay the night."
"What?!" I exclaim. "No no no! I can't stay here any longer. I told my parents that I would be home tomorrow morning. They'll worry if I don't." I actually told them that I'll be staying over Erika's place tonight. If I'll go back the day after tomorrow, I'll be busted.
Alexander sighs – a heavy and deep sigh. "Look Melissa, what do you really want to happen? Do you want to go home now or do you want to know your identity?" He says in a clam voice. He's looking at me with his eyebrows cross and narrow eyes. He seems to be a little irritated. "Choose, Melissa! You need to choose. You can't get the best things of both worlds. Please remember that it's your identity we're finding out not mine."
I brush my hair in frustration. "You don't have the right to tell me these things and force me to choose since you were the one who told me all the adoption shit and made me act weird and uncomfortable towards my parents!" I raise my voice and look at him with burning eyes.
He looks surprise at first but he recovers instantly and looks at me with the same expression as I am. "Let me remind you that you asked me to explain why you looked like Edith!"
"What do you want me to do then? I was curious?"
"That's why I told you to stay inside the room. I even locked you up! But instead, you broke the door and run around the house like a crazy cat!"
"It's because I don't know who brought me there! I woke up in an unfamiliar room. I thought I was kidnapped! What do you expect me to do?! It's your fault for bringing me in your house on the first place!"
"What?!" He exclaims. He brushes his head in frustration. "What the fuck! You were so drunk, Melissa. You could not even recognize me! I was supposed to bring you to your home but you don't want to because you said that your parents would kill you to see you wasted. I bet you could not even remember that part."
"I never asked for your help!"
"For heaven's sake, Melissa, I don't even want to imagine what would happen to you if I left you there. It's either you're on a hospital bed, or in a pricks bed who went under your pants because you were too drunk to resist! Now tell me that you are not glad that I helped you!"
I open my mouth to say something but end up closing it again. He's right. That might really have happened to me if he did not help me. The thought of it brought horror down my bones. I can't find the right words to say. I remain silent looking down on my lap. My anger fades as embarrassment replaces it.
"Whatever." He says in a much calmer voice. "Those were in the past. Those things happened because we let them happen and we can't do anything about it. Let's just ..." He reaches for my chin and lifts my face. He makes me look at his eyes – his beautiful grey eyes. He brushes his thumb back and forth my cheeks giving me the indescribable sensation all throughout my body.
I can't say anything nor do anything. Alexander, what are you doing? My heart begins to beat rapidly. As I stare in his eyes, I see something unfamiliar. He's looking at me differently this time.
"Let's just..." He repeats. "make things better from now on. Make everything right and correct every mistake we've done before." He smiles and releases my face.
I remain staring at him. The sensation of his thumb brushing my cheeks has remained despite its absence. My heart is still beating crazily fast. I look away. I breathe deeply as I try to control my emotions. What's with me? I was uncontrollably angry just a minute ago and now I'm acting like this. Something is really wrong with me!
"That was weird." I state in a calm voice.
"Was it?" He chuckles.
"Don't laugh. It makes me feel weirder. We were arguing just a while ago and now you're laughing like that."
"Okay I'll try." He says pressing his lips firmly against each other. He turns the engine on and immediately begins to maneuver the car out of the parking lot.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"We're going to look for a place to spend the night."
I sigh. I don't remember agreeing to this. We were even arguing about this just now.
"Got a problem?" He says teasingly.
I remain silent and just look outside. This is so troublesome. I've taken it all – being alone with Alexander and lying to my parents and to Zac. I endure it all. I'm already here. Staying a bit longer than planned won't hurt me, right? This might be the right choice.
I wish this is the right choice.
"Can we stop over a mall or a department store?" I ask.
"Why?"
"I didn't bring any clothes, toiletries, and you know ... the stuff."
He grins. "Yeah sure!"
I won't regret this, would I?