The next few days getting accustomed to not having Lucy was strange. Going back to school I noticed looks from a couple different people. I was used to looks, but this time it just felt strange. Usual I got looks from having Lucy, now I'm getting them for not having her. Interesting turn around. Getting back into the groove of school was hard. I didn't really focus, there were still too many thoughts swirling around my mind. Currently I was sitting in English just staring at the board, having no idea what was going on. My teacher, I think was going on and talking about SATs and he was going to give us a practice test. I didn't even think about SATs yet, but I knew they were coming up. Sooner than I expected. Like this weekend.
I dreaded hearing about them, but I didn't feel too bad because Luke was taking the same day. So at least he was going to have the same torture as me. Well maybe not, considering his ten times smarter than I am. I snuck a peek at my phone and checked my messages. There was just one from Luke telling me he'd meet me at his car after school. He was going to help catch up on some school work. I sent him a quick text back and pretended I was paying attention the rest of class.
The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever, but eventually it ended and I was glad for that. I walked into the parking lot and looked for Luke's car. It was parked toward the back of the lot. I beat him there, and I just sat on the hood of his car. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through Instagram. As I was scrolling I came across a picture of Layla and Luke, holding a promposal sign. The sign said, "Let's Taco about prom," and Layla was holding a big bag from taco bell. I had to admit it was cute, but I still didn't like Layla. I completely forgot that prom existed. I definitely would not be going. I looked down the other end of the parking lot and I could see Luke in the distance, standing with Layla. She was holding the sign and the bag of tacos.
I sat and realized, that I was so out of touch, and I had no idea what was going on anymore. I didn't even know that Luke was considering prom or anything. I felt like this wall had been built between myself and the world, and I wasn't really sure how to knock it down. I lifted my legs and rested my hands on my knees. Everyone was moving on, and I felt like I was just stuck in a rut. I was lost, not that I wanted to admit that, but I was. Thinking about it made my stomach sick. If I could've cried, I felt like I would've, but I didn't think I had any tears left.
"Hey," I heard a familiar voice said and I looked up. Luke was standing in front of me, holding hands with none of than Layla. He had to bring her over here. I just ignored it and answered. "Hi." I unfolded myself and jumped off the hood of the car.
"You alright?" He asked me and I nodded. "Yup." Then stood by the car door. He pulled out his keys and unlocked it and I sat in the seat. I watched as Luke and Layla said a couple things to each other then he kissed her. I thought I was going to throw up. I looked away and waited for Luke to get in the car. Once he did he started it up and sat for a minute. "Are you sure you're okay? You don't seem it." He said and I felt his eyes on me.
"I'm fine." I told him and looked out the window.
"Alright. Fine." He said then drove to his house. The car ride was silent, not that I had much to say. I didn't even feel like doing anything, but I knew that I had to do my work, and Luke would help. Once we got to his house we went straight into his living room and started working. I pulled out my math homework because I knew that was going to be the worst. I took one look at it and then placed it down. "Well that's great." I said and groaned.
"What?" He said and looked at me. "I don't know anything of this," I said and then laughed. "Great." I pulled my ponytail tighter and sighed.
"Good thing your best friend is amazing at math," he told me and I rolled my eyes.
"Yes good thing." I told him. The next ten minutes I sat there as he tried to explain trigonometry to me. I attempted the problems and I was actually understanding. Luke would be a good teacher one day. He knew how to explain things. Sometimes certain teachers just didn't have the right approach, but I guess you couldn't please everybody.
After a while I got sick of doing math and just wanted to sleep. I guess my body took over because I decided to take a nap on Luke's floor. When I woke up I had a pillow under my head and a blanket covering my feet. I looked around the room and there was no sign of Luke hanging around anywhere. I sat up and looked at my phone. I just had one text message from my dad asking where I was. I sent him a quick reply telling him I'd be home soon and I fell asleep. He answered back quickly and said okay. I opened up Instagram and scrolled through everybody's pictures. Somehow the picture of Luke and Layla ended up on my timeline again and I rolled my eyes. They had about 20 comments on the picture. I read through them all of their comments. Some people saying they're so cute, and others saying how jealous they were. I laughed. Thank god I wasn't going to prom. I would rather take the SAT's for two weeks straight then go to prom. I locked the phone and threw it on the floor. I sighed and pulled my ponytail out. I ran my fingers through my hair and combed it out and leaned up against Luke's bed.
The door opened and in came Luke holding loads of junk food in his hands. He had one bag of chips in his mouth, ice cream in one hand, and bread in the other. "Did you rob a convenience store or something?" I asked him and he let go of the chips. They landed perfectly in my lap. Cheetos, how lovely. He sat next to me and opened the ice cream. He handed me a spoon, which I have no idea where he was hiding it. I grabbed it and he opened the ice cream tub. Cookies and cream, my favorite. He put his spoon and I did the same, we both got a spoonful and put it in our mouths. I hadn't had ice cream in so long, it was a nice treat. "So," he said with his mouthful. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked me. "You just seem off lately, and I know that losing Lucy was tough. But I just want to make sure there's not something else going on." He told me and took another spoonful.
I just gave him a shrug. "I'm fine. Just a lot of thoughts I guess. I'm just trying to make sense of it all." I told him and took another spoonful myself. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. It was true. I couldn't seem to focus anymore. I still had to decide on college, and this situation with my mom was really dwelling on me. "There's just too much going on. I have to make a decision for my future, and I have my mom calling me constantly and trying to talk to me." I told him. He looked down at me with wide eyes. "What?" He asked and I sat back up.
"I kept getting calls from this number, but I thought it was a telemarketer. Guess I was wrong. My dad answered it and got into a fight with her. One of her sons got my number somehow, but he told her to stop calling and that I didn't want to talk to her." I pulled my ponytail tighter again and then rubbed my eyes. They were sore from being so tired.
"You didn't tell me that." He said and blinked his eyes at me.
"I know, I just didn't think it was super important right now." I told him and shrugged. I stretched my arms out in front of me and rolled my neck. "Are you sure you still don't want contact with her? I just feel like she's trying so hard to talk to you. I wonder what's going on," Luke said to me.
"Yeah. I don't know. If it's so important, I'm sure it could've been said ten years ago." I told him and then shook my head. I just wanted to drop the subject. Luke thankfully got the hint and we stopped talking about it. We talked more about Luke and his music. He hadn't really mentioned it to me in a long time. The last time we had any small conversation about it, he said he was almost done writing the song. Now he told me that he finished it. I begged him to play it for me, but he fought me. That's when I brought out the puppy dog eyes. And they worked. Luke reluctantly grabbed his guitar from the wall and pulled out his notebook. He looked down at it and then nodded his head. He started playing chords, than began singing.
I can't remember the last time I saw your face
I feel so lonely when I'm in a crowded space
You left me without direction (direction)
'Cause I've gone from place to place trying to bring you back
I've walked for days and days 'cause I can't face the fact
That nothing is better than you
I'm coming because I need to find you
Is anybody there who can rescue
Somebody like me 'cause I'm just waiting
For somebody like you, somebody like you
Without you I'm a lost boy
Without you I'm a lost boy
Come find me, I'm a lost boy
'Cause without you I'm a lost boy
He took a breath then looked over to me. He smiled and then continued playing for me.
I can't remember the last time I heard your voice
I'm sat in silence, living in a world of noise
'Cause you were perfection (perfection)
'Cause I've been from place to place trying to bring you back
I've walked for days and days 'cause I can't face the fact
That nothing is better than you
I'm coming because I need to find you
Is anybody there who can rescue
Somebody like me 'cause I'm just waiting
For somebody like you, somebody like you
Without you I'm a lost boy
Without you I'm a lost boy
Come find me, I'm a lost boy
'Cause without you I'm a lost boy
As he sang, I could hear the emotion coming from him. He actually made me feel like what I had going on wasn't so bad. I didn't know that he had all these feelings inside of him. He stopped playing and looked at me. "And that's it basically. I just keep repeating the chorus the rest of the song. But yeah. I finished it." He told me and placed his guitar on the floor in front of him.
"What's that song about?" I asked him. I was completely off guard. I didn't expect it to be that powerful. He ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip. "Um, well I guess about everything. I started it when I moved from Australia. I just felt lost when I came here, I had no friends. I had to start over in an entire new country, and then you just kind of came out of nowhere, and you made everything a little easier," he told me and sighed. My heart beat sped up and I felt myself start to sweat. "It also speaks about me kind of right now. I don't feel completely settled. I'm just lost with what I want to do. My mom has always said, math teacher. You have to use your skill to help others Luke. But that's just really not where I see myself." He told me and sat back. "I just don't know if that will make me happy. Maybe later in life, but right now, I just want to write music, and perform." He suddenly got quiet and I was stunned.
"I feel like a shitty friend Luke," I told him and turned to face him.
"Why?" He asked me.
"Because. I didn't even know you had all this going on. You always put me first, and I'm such an asshole because I haven't even asked you how you're feeling. That's just not fair." I said and I felt tears begin to well up.
"Katie really you're not..." He started to say but I cut him off.
"No Luke, don't make excuses for me." I told him and felt the tears begin to fall down my face. "I'm an ass. I've been here crying poor me for so long, but I don't even ask you how you're feeling. I've put you on the back burner and that's not okay because you don't do that to me. You always put me first. I'm going to change that. No more." I said and wiped the tears under my eyes. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. He shook his head and smiled at me.
"We're going to be fine. Don't feel bad. It happens. You have a lot going on," He told me and there he was again. Worrying about me over himself.
"I know," I said and we sat in silence for a little while longer.
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A/N: Hey guys! Yes I know it's been a while. I've had so much going on lately and writing hasn't been in the forefront right now. I'm currently working night shift at my job, so that's usually when I get the chance to write in between rounds. Two chapters left, and I'm considering writing an epilogue. I think it'll be a nice way to end up this story. I'm sad it's over, but also can't wait to continue my other stories. Check them out! I'll write a description of each here on the bottom.
The Virgin Diaries- a story about a girl going through the stages of early adulthood and trying to find out who she is.
Secrets- Another 5SOS fic where two unlikely people suddenly have to live in the same house.
In Too Deep- 5SOS fic where a girl has to dig through her depression and anxiety to try and straighten out her life.
Back Together- A story in where a family loses the most important person in their life and everything starts to unfold slowly.
The Untold Story of Saidie Diggory- A Harry Potter Fan Fiction where a young girls life gets twisted upside down due to a family secret.
Hope you guys check those out if your really enjoyed this one! Don't forget to leave comments and vote! Love to read your comments here.