Lana Parrilla Saved Me

By lparrillaa

37.9K 1.4K 107

She sat on her bed, waiting to be free. Thoughts in her head that she was better off dead. The poster of her... More

Lana Parrilla was staring at me
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and let go
I can't leave until you know me
It can't be! Lana wrote back?
I didn't feel sad anymore
Fred, she's just incredible
I was under the same roof as Lana
She looked directly in my eyes
I was about to really look Lana Parrilla in the eyes
You are one very special individual, Christie
"I'll see you again my love" Lana said with tears forming
'I don't know babe, but it looks like you should be worried'
I knew what I had to do next...
"You can't save me anymore Lana, no one can"
A very sad, dark mind.
I will get you better
I don't care if it makes you hate me
My eyes rolled and I fell to the floor
I'm talking to her
It was a matter of time before I found out
We just had to find out why she was so broken.
Then I was scared
She had no choice about it
She had one single tear that fell
What the hell did I just do?
'I'm sorry, I tried'
Was that a bad thing, or a good thing?
The happy part of the dream that wasn't going to happen
I hadn't talked to him in ages
Things were getting better
Because of happiness

Wednesdays

621 20 8
By lparrillaa

Christie's pov

The next few weeks were so amazing. Ellis and I spent them getting to know the ins and outs of each other. I learned his likes, dislikes and all of his pet peeves. I'm not sorry and quite proud to say I tried each peeve out. I chewed, really, really loudly in his face, turned on all of the switches in his room and unpaired all of his socks, but it's safe to say, he was still madly in love with me, and I with him. We were both doing really well, and on the way to getting better. 

The unit started to let us go out to the park together on our own. Every Wednesday, we would get up early to go to the park across the road. Come rain or shine, we didn't miss a Wednesday. Despite it being winter, there was always an ice-cream van there. He always bought me a Mr. Whippy covered in blue sherbet whether it was 8 degrees out, or 25 degrees. We would also never miss a ride on the turtle swing. You know those things, right? The really big swings that you sit in that look like a turtle's shell. Wednesdays became the highlight of my week, and the days I was at my most happiest.

However, it wasn't all perfect up until then. I guess we both had a few set backs regarding our depression, but on the whole, we were doing well. I had about a month left, and Ellis had four months left but his therapist told him that if he carried on progressing the way he was, he would be eligible for an early release. The sooner we could get out, the sooner we could continue our lives together. I was one hundred percent certain he was 'the one', as they say. I had known him for a month as my boyfriend, and I still got the warm, in-love sort of feeling people get every time I saw him. Sure, he was a little broken, but so was I, and everyday I knew him and he knew me, we were a little bit fixed each time. I spoke to Lana everyday. She would Skype me at ten o'clock on the dot every morning. We would catch up for at least an hour. You may be thinking "what could happen in a day to catch up on for a hour each time?". I'll tell you, there was a lot. So much happens in a psychiatric hospital and you're never deprived of well earned drama. Good things happened too though. The friendships I gained at that hospital are ones that I'm never going to let go of, and some of them I am still with today. I had Isla, Amelia and Polly. Isla was a year older than me, Amelia the same age as me and Polly a few months younger. All four of us became so close, and they are the most loyal friends I have had the pleasure of knowing. No matter what they were going through, if they thought something was wrong with me, they would put their problems aside just to help me. I didn't know what it felt like to have a friend like that before then, so my heart felt so warm. We were all at the hospital for similar reasons, so we really understood each other, as corny as that sounds. 

It was a Monday morning when I was called into the head nurse's office. I remember the exact conversation we had word for word, and how I reacted to it all. I walked in thinking she was just going to update me on my progress and give me some luxuries like showering without someone having to stand outside the door, or being able to have extended free time, but no, it was something much, much bigger than that.

"Hi Christie. How are you doing?" She said with her typical therapist voice. She was a nurse, but could also turn into a really easy going therapist. 

"I'm good, thank you. I'm doing much better now!" I said, with the hint of a smile on my face.

"Do you have any idea why I've asked to talk to you today?" She said. I paused for a few seconds to think about the question I was asked, but I couldn't think of why. 

"No, I don't sorry. Well, maybe about my progress. I don't know," I said awkwardly with a nervous chuckle.

"That's okay honey. I'm talking to you about the possibility of discharging you two weeks early. Do you think it's something you'd consider?" She said.

"Uh, oh wow. Of course I'd think about it. I haven't been thinking about anything but getting out of this dreadful place since I arrived here" I said, with a small chuckle. 

"I don't blame you" she replied, also with a giggle, "but in all seriousness, you are due to be here for a few more weeks yet, so if you don't feel ready, just let us know. There's no right or wrong in the decision, and we are here to support you each step of the way".

"Okay, I will. I'll spend some time thinking about it and let you know tomorrow or something". I said in my non caring teenage sort of way.

That night, I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. I tried so hard to avoid thinking about what the therapist said that it was all I could think about. I was so happy that they were confident enough with my progress that they could let me go, but I was also worried about going back to old habits and behaviour. I didn't want to start seeing things that weren't real, or trying to kill myself. Life was just about to get really good, with Ellis, but I just had to believe that I would be okay on my own. I had to know in my heart that I could keep myself above water without the constant regulations and rules of the ward. I knew I would have my prozac and therapy twice a week. I also had a place reserved at the ward for up to 2 months post discharge, so I wasn't completely cut off from them and I could go back at the drop of a hat if I needed to, or if my therapist thought I required it. Of course it would mean more money for Lana to pay, but she said she would be okay with that if it was the case. It put me at ease that I could go back for a while if I wanted or needed to. 

Ellis still had about two months and a bit left, which wasn't that long. Then, we could be together and start our future, and I knew we would have one. I knew in my heart we would get married, buy a house, have children and eventually grow old by each other's side. The prospect of our future together made me so very happy. Ellis was also doing very well, and they were talking about early release for him. The psychiatrists said him and me curing each other was something they had never seen before, and that it was incredible to see what love could do. They also found it incredible how our moods would fly high on a Wednesday. Wednesdays were our day, and they still are. 

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