There was
Forever
In those
Eyes.
- d.j
~
~
~
Chapter 17
Camila's POV
It's been 3 days since that night but what I've felt in that very moment, I can still feel it like it all happened yesterday.
This is not right. What I'm doing is cheating. I shouldn't think about Lauren and my goddamn feelings about her. I'm being unfair to Shawn.
"CAROLTON TIGERS ARE YOU READY???" The MC in front of the stage spoke, drifting my mind away from the chaos and twisted thoughts that always occupy my head. And that's when I remember that I'm standing along with all of the students of Carolton since the University is having a big event today.
What is it again? I honestly can't remember.
"CAMILITAAAAA!!!! ARE YOU READY??" Alex nudge my arm eagerly. She's basically freaking out with her eyes squinted at how long she says the A in my name.
"Ready for what?" I asked curiously. I notice that most of the students are also freaking out and excited just like Alex.
"Seriously?" Younger girl spoke with a poker face.
"I'm serious. What's going on today? I mean, why does everyone freaking out?"
"I've said this to you already for the nth time now, ONE DIRECTION IS HERE!" Alex yelled in my ears. And that's when my brain instantly takes me back 3 days ago where Alex told me about it while we're having our training at the oval. Geez! How can I even forgot about this special day??? One Direction, I mean ONE DIRECTION is coming here in our school and how come the biggest directioner in the whole freaking universe isn't excited like everyone else does???
"I...remember now." I chuckled while scratching the back of my head, "Hold on, let me freak out first."
"Go girl!" Alex giggled before I took a deep breath..
"I LOVE YOU ONE DIRECTION!!! YOU'RE MY FUCKING LIFE!!! ALL I DO IS SING KARAOKE AND FAN GIRLING TO YOU GUYS!" I yelled from the bottom of my lungs, making Alex crack a laugh.
"I've been waiting for the yell! Thank god you did."
"No, THANK YOU because you basically reminded me about it again."
"Can I ask?"
Alex don't even know my answer if I'll allow her to ask me whatever question she had in her head or not. And yet, here she is proceeding to her question anyway. Such a typical Alex, "Ever since I've met you, you're always not in the moment. What's bothering you?"
"What's bothering me?" I replied with a question as well.
Alex gave me a you just repeated my question and you know what I mean kind of look, making me crack a small laugh.
"I mean, I feel like the thing that's keeping your mind always so occupied is because of love, right? But what I mean is, why? You already had the jock Mendes, right? And yet, you looked like your love life is complicated as shit even though you guys looks so carefree and happy."
"Cause it is." I replied with my utmost sincerity. Things will never be complicated if there's no Lauren in my life.
"Because of...her?" Alex pointed over my shoulder so I turn around, only to see Lauren standing in the stage with a microphone in her hand.
My heart started to beat triple times-No, I think it beats so fast like a hummingbird wings. Like a gong being slammed so many times. My heart is racing inside my chest and I don't like the way I'm loving this feeling. This is so not right.
"Hello?" Lauren mic test, making everyone around us quiet with their eyes fixed on the green eyed girl. "My name is Lauren Jauregui. Y'all are probably know me already. For starters, I'm not up here to sing cause I don't do that shit. Singing is not my thing even though my dad is a cool ass singer of Deff Lepard." The students started to cheer out loud while looking at the right direction of the stage.
"Shut. Up! Her dad is the lead vocalist of Deff Lepard??" Alex asked with her eyes widen in surprise.
"Yup. And I had the same reaction too when I found out about it."
"Holy macaroni! I didn't expect that one!"
"...The only time I sing in front of everyone is for someone special to me. They say that girls feel special when someone serenade them but making them fall In love is by writing them a poem. So I did."
Lauren took something from her pocket. It was a piece of paper, "I'm not good at writing things like this because I'm not a poetic kind of person. But I did my very best to make the girl I love happy. I don't really care if I look stupid up in here or if this words that I wrote sound too weird, cheesy, and shit. As long as my girl feels special and happy, well, that's all that matters to me."
I swear I forgot how to breathe for a few seconds when Lauren's eyes landed on me and smile. I-I'm...I'm that special girl?
Despite of me being in a crowded area it seems like in my eyes, everyone else disappear and the only thing I can see is Lauren. And no, her voice don't sound too weird and shit cause for me, her voice is like a chin music in my ears. It's like the only harmony I wanna hear. And for the second time, no, she don't look stupid up there. I mean, it's impossible for Lauren Jauregui to look stupid cause she's literally Lauren Jauregui. The walking definition of Perfection. But in my eyes, she's beyond perfect. She's more than that.
Lauren cleared her throat, making the whole quadrangle fell in complete silence.
"I thought of you today, but that's nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
For every day, good or bad, you'll always be in my head.
I hope you've understood everything I've said.
This isn't just a joke or a silly lie.
I'd never do anything to make you wanna cry.
I'm sorry if I do something to make you really mad.
It only comes back and makes me really sad.
I really do love you and everything you are.
I'll never get you out; I simply don't know how.
In fact, I'm thinking of you right about now.
You're everything I need and everything to me.
You know exactly who you are and what you want to be.
You always make me smile just by being there.
I hope you know how much I really do care.
Every time I think of you, my stomach seems to twist.
This is why I love you; I've made a huge list.
The list goes on forever, and never will it end,
You'll always be my friend.
Not just a simple friend but a special friend; at that,
I want to spend my whole life with you."
I can feel Alex eagerly nudging my arm especially when Lauren stop reading the paper that she's holding. Her gaze lift up to meet the eyes of everyone but her green eyes seems looking for someone in specific. And it's either I'm losing my mind or Lauren's green eyes is darted straight to my direction.
"My parents are here, my friends, and almost everyone are here. But most importantly, Camila Cabello is here." Lauren pointed towards my direction, causing everyone to look at me.
And my heart beats even more faster at the fact that Lauren pronounced my last name right. She didn't call me with her lame endearments, she didn't call me her Mrs. Jauregui or by Camz. It only means one thing -Lauren is being serious.
"Our marriage is a whole ass fucking joke because I forced Camila to do it in order for me to escape marrying Brie. When I proposed, I didn't mean every words I've said. Sure, we hate each other. For me, she's the girl that have a very weird and ugly last name. My ugly duckling, a hard headed ass. But...I didn't know that this person will mean so much to me. So now, Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, I'm going to tell you this not because I was forced to or because it is for the sake of our deal. This is me talking my heart out..."
Lauren started to walk towards my direction. The more she comes closer, the louder my heart beats inside my chest. What exactly are you doing to me, Lauren?
Lauren stood right in front of me, cupping my cheeks with her warm hands. Her green eyes is looking straight to mine but I feel like she's gazing through my soul. What is this feeling?
I can't think.
I can't breathe.
"Camila, I love you. Let's make this real."
***
Lauren's POV
"I love you too." Alex and I furrowed our eyebrows while looking at Camila. What the hell is she saying??
"I love you too to whom exactly? Me or you?" Alex crack a small laugh, "Don't tell me she's dreaming with an open eyes?"
I shook my head in disbelief at how hopeless romantic Camila is before I wave my hand right in front of her beautiful face. And I conclude that Alex is right, she's dreaming with an open eyes.
And without any word, I leaned in and press my lips against hers for a couple of seconds before I pulled away, making Camila flinched.
"Huh?" Camila ask like she's lost in somewhere we don't even know.
"Good morning." I smiled, pinching her cheeks. "How's the imagining session going?"
Camila blink so many times before she look around. Alex and I gave her a moment to realize that she's in the middle of her training, in the oval, with a jersey on.
"Where's One Direction???" She eagerly asked and Camila seem so out of breath.
Alex and I started to laugh, "What One Direction are you talking about?"
"I-I mean, they're not going to perform??"
"And why would they perform in here? This is a school grounds not concert grounds, idiot." I said while looking at Camila. She really look so puzzled until our eyes met for a moment. Her cheeks immediately flushed red, avoiding my gaze like a guilty one.
Hmm, don't tell me that I love you too is for me? Cause the way she looks right now clearly tells me that my hunch is right.
"I..." Camila pause for a moment, trying to find some words to say. When the whistle echoed loudly, Camila suddenly speak in a rush like there's a zombie chasing after her, "I-I gotta go." Then Camila started to run as fast as she can.
"Hey, genius! That's not our call shot!" Alex tried to stop Camila but the brunette continues to run.
"That was...that was super awkward." I scoff while watching Camila who's now being scolded by Coach Zahira.
"I think...you're making my friend super nervous."
"Me?" I asked with a furrowed eyebrows while pointing at my own chest, "Making her super nervous? Why?"
Alex shook her head, "What do you think the reason why?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know."
"You two are so oblivious when it comes to your own feelings, you know?"
"Me?! Being oblivious?! I'm always fond when it comes to my feelings!"
Alex chuckled, "Is that being defensive because you're guilty or being frustrated because it's true?"
"And why would I feel that?"
"Because there's Shawny in the picture."
"Just...go for a run." I said before I walk back to my locker room to change my clothes. Camila's really a hard to read kind of person. She's always giving me this signal that I have a chance but everytime I'll take that tiny single chance that she's giving me, in just a snap of a fingers, she'll shut me out in the cold like I'm nothing. Today is the start of Shawn's little bullshit game. Basically, we're going to court Camila for 100 days which is 3 months, to be exact. 3 months from now, there's a Prom happening and we're going to ask Camila to be our girlfriend at the same time. Whoever Camila choose wins. Whoever lose needs to fuck off. Though Camila's a complicated one, I'm sure she'll choose me over that dickhead.
"Lauser," Dinah's voice echoed around with her hand against my shoulder, "what's up?"
"Ask what you want to ask. You don't normally asked what's up without being too curious about something."
"Right," The Polynesian girl chuckled, "you knew me really well. What's up with you and Mila?"
I shrugged my shoulders cause I honestly don't know what we are at this point except for being a deal buddies, "I don't know."
"You like her?"
I close the door of my locker and rest my body in it before I answer Dinah, "Yes."
Dinah took a sighed, crossing her arms against her chest. "Give me your most honest answer. Do you like Camila?"
"I'm being honest, Dinah. Look in my eyes." I leaned closer, opening my eyes widely so she can see the honesty she's looking for.
"Open it more wider cause I can't clearly see the letter E in Revenge that's been written all over your eyes."
I pulled away. With a frown, I says, "Seriously?"
"Let's not fool ourselves here, Lo. You haven't move on from Keana yet. I can clearly see it in your eyes. You know what else can I see? You're just after Camila because of Shawn."
I chuckled, "That's not true. I like Camila because everytime that I'm with her, I feel like I can be a better person. Besides, I'm not the one you should worry about. It's Shawn."
Dinah's eyebrows furrowed, "Shawn? Why?"
"He's so In love with Camila Althea, right? Isn't it so strange that he suddenly dumped her when he found out that Camila and I are married? If he's really hopelessly In love with Camila like he said he is then why did he sit there for 2 years without doing anything? He instead go and pursue Althea."
"Because he's afraid to ruin the friendship he had with Camila."
"No. We both know that Shawn and I are pretty much alike and have a lot in common. If we want something, we get it. We don't wait for it to fall from the tree. And that's exactly what he did. He go after Althea and not Camila."
"I won't take sides, Laur. I'm not saying that I don't trust you or anything but I know Shawn won't do that. Since Keana left us, I can see how Shawn strive to be a better man and Camila helped him through all of it."
"Well," I took my bag and put it against my shoulder, "I guess I'm the only jerk that "change" left behind."
Dinah smiled timidly, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "Don't say that. Changing is not too late for those person who really wanted to."
Dinah and I walk around the hallway but since it's too crowded, we decided to take the shortcut at the stairwell. Basically, we're going to pass so many empty rooms and storage room before we reached the third floor east wing part of the building A where our Chemistry room is. Though it's a long walk, it's fine by me since it's quiet around there.
"So how are-" I didn't finish what I'm saying when Dinah suddenly pulled my arm, dragging me in between the locker and the wall.
"Sshhh," Dinah put her shush finger against her lips, "It's Shawn." She mouthed, "Kissing someone."
I furrowed my eyebrows so I carefully take a peak and it's really him, kissing some random girl from the cheer leading squad with his dick being too obvious inside his tight pants.
Bragging the small dick, I see.
With a smug smirk, I say, "What were you saying again, Dinah?"
"I can't believe he did this to Walz! Though they're not in a relationship but the fact that they're dating and he's doing this is still a fucking form of cheating!"
I can see the blood rising through Dinah's head as we heard the door shut close. We both take a peek to see what's happening and they're both gone. Probably they're banging at the desk inside the room.
"I told you he's a jerk. I can't believe he had the guts to tell me that we should both court Camila in span of 100 days and that Camila will choose him because tHeY bOtH lOvE eAcH oThEr. I mean, what a fucking clown!"
"He said that?!"
"Yeah."
Dinah scoff, "The clownery! I don't like taking sides and you know that. But right now, fuck him! I won't let Shawn and his cheating ass to have Camila."
"Well, Camila deserve more than THAT!" I look at Dinah and I can see that she's just suppressing her anger towards the Canadian boy. Nevertheless, you're cancelled Shawnie boy. Goodbye.
***
Camila's POV
It's around 7:30 pm when Shawn and I arrived home after spending hours in the carnival.
"I will miss you, Mila." Shawn pouted so I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss his lips.
"And I will miss you too."
"I have something for you." Shawn slide his hand through his pocket to get something. I pulled away and I saw that he's holding a small box. When he open it, I saw a heart shaped ring with small bits of diamonds around the heart.
"This is a promise ring. As long as you wear it, it means that you love me. And as I put this ring to you," Shawn took my hand and carefully place the ring to my finger, "I promise to always love you. Be there for you when you need me. And I promise that I'll always stay solid and never lie to you. Whatever happens, ride or die, you have me, Camila. I love you."
I can feel the tears slowly forming in my eyes. God, what did I even do to deserve a guy like him?
"I love you." I pulled him closer to me until my forehead rest against his, "I love you. I love you." I whispered against his lips before I kiss him passionately. He kisses me back and my heart flinched at the warm feeling this kiss had brought to me.
When the air is much needed, Shawn and I pulled away from each other. "I have something to tell you, Camila. And I hope you answer it with your utmost sincerity."
I knitted my eyebrows, "What is it?"
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
Without any doubt, I gave him my honest answer. "Yes." And I mean it. I mean it when I say yes.
Shawn's smile became more wider after he heard my answer, pulling me in for a very tight hug. "Oh my god!" Then he pulled away and cupped my cheeks, "This is the best day of my life, I swear! I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." Then Shawn showered me with lots of kisses, making me laugh at the process.
I can't believe Shawn Peter Mendes is my boyfriend now. And I think being in a relationship with him will help my situation. Right now, I'm determined and desperate to bury this feelings I have for Lauren. This is the kind of emotion I shouldn't pursue or else I'll woke up with broken heart one day.
Shawn and I make out a little more before we said our goodbye to each other. I happily marched inside the house but I was greeted with no one but silence. Where's the people around here? I thought to myself as I proceed to our room to change my clothes. And as soon as I open the door, a moan coming from the bathroom is what welcomed me.
"Aaahhh...fuck!"
What the hell?! I carefully walk towards the bathroom door to listen if what I heard is really a moan.
"Aahhhh...shit! I'm so close! Aaaaahhh...fucking hell!"
I don't know what the hell is happening to me but hearing her sexy moans is actually turning me on. My body is starting to heat up and as much as I prevent myself from imagining things, I can't help not to think Lauren touching me while she push deeper- My body flinched when the door of the bathroom suddenly open, revealing Lauren who's so sweaty. My eyes travel from her hand down to her little pet down there. I gulped, trying to take my eyes off of it but it seems like my eyes had it's own brain. My cheeks are heating up as well because of this very awkward situation I put myself into.
"I-I'm s-sorry I didn't mean to-" I stop from talking when Lauren open the door completely, revealing a broken pipe under our sink.
"I'm fixing the pipe because it's broken, Camila. I'm not masturbating like what you're thinking right now."
"I'M NOT THINKING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" I quickly jump off to being too defensive cause I know I'm guilty as hell. I thought being caught listening to someone's business is embarrassing enough but I never thought getting caught of imagining them doing it is more embarrassing. It's like you-go-to-school-naked-cause-you-forgot-to-wear-your-clothes and you-got-zero-in-your-test-cause-you-forgot-to-study kind of embarrassment.
And I'm so damn wishing that this floor where I'm currently standing at will just crack open and swallow me so I can escape this extremely awkward situation I'm currently in.
Lauren chuckled, "Really? But the way you look at me, my hand, and how you stare at my dick like you want to melt it says differently."
"Whatever! You're just delusional!" I push Lauren away from the door frame before I storm inside and quickly close the bathroom door.
What in the fucking world did I even think?! I even...ugh! I quickly splash the cold water in my face to wake up my brain. I think I need to face time Ally tonight to cleanse my entire soul.
I literally spent 2 hours inside the bathroom because I don't know how to face Lauren and look at her in the eyes after what happened. While thinking of what lame excuses should I tell if ever Lauren bring that up again, I didn't notice that I've already open the bathroom door.
"How many orgasm?"
"Huh?" I asked, feeling my cheeks heating up once again.
"You've spent literally 2 hours inside. I'm just wondering since you're imagining me masturbating, maybe you've feel-"
"Ssshshshshshsh!" I cut Lauren off, "Don't wanna hear it, don't wanna talk about it!"
I hurriedly walk towards my bed when Lauren suddenly grab my arm, pulling me closer to her until I'm now sitting against her lap. I gulped hardly. It's not because of her scent nor the distance we had. But it's because I can literally feel the bulge against her boxer.
"I'm..." I try stand up but Lauren hold me still, making my ass press even more against her hard center. And I know she's doing this on purpose especially when I saw that devilish smirk on her lips.
"Feel free to feel it while it last." Lauren chuckled, causing my body to slowly heat up. My center is already throbbing. Fuck.
And as long as I still have a self control, I break free from her grip with all of my strength and stand up from her lap.
"You got bored?"
I took my pillow and throw it to Lauren, making her laugh.
"You're such an asshole!"
"Is that how you're going to repay me after I make you wet-"
"Shut up! There's no wet!"
"Oh," Lauren put her hand against her lips while looking at me with a hint of amusement in her eyes, "okay. So now I know. Next time, I won't wear a boxer when you sit in my lap so you can enjoy your little experience with Lauren Jr."
I massage the temple of my head, wishing the floor will just take me tonight instead. What have you gotten yourself into, Camila?