A/N; Whoops, I actually had this part done ages ago, but I forgot to post it here. Well, better late than never.
You were going Home, driving in the silent world that slowly drifted into the darkness of night. You sat in the back with Levi, leaning your head against the chilly window, heavy eyes staring at the dark mass of trees flashing across your sight. Eren was driving, sparing a moment from time to time to talk with Connie, just to kill the silence. You didn't mind the talking, it actually made it easier for you to try closing your eyes and relax.
Connie seems like a good guy, judging from the impression he'd given so far. He still remained quiet about his personal matters and he barely mentioned anything about the people he was moving along with. It was only natural, though. We were strangers to him.
You turned to sit upright, giving up for the effort of trying to sleep. Sending a look to your right, you saw Levi leaning back with his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn't sleeping either. As if sensing your stare, Levi opened his eyes.
"Can't sleep?" he asked with a tired voice.
"I can't trust the road to be safe enough for that luxury." you told him. "I'll wait until we get back Home."
"What exactly is this place of yours?" Connie asked from the front as your talk caught his attention.
"It's a hospital, a former quarantine zone." Eren took the freedom to answer.
"Former? So, you're saying you live there by yourselves? No military?"
"Nope. Not anymore at least." Eren shook his head. "Some grew tired of the military taking advantage of their power and making the survivors have bad time living there. People stood up to fight the place for themselves. I don't really know all the details, since me and my friends came in after the take-over had already happened... but, Levi was there." Eren pointed out, and checked on him through the mirror.
Levi kept his eye on the window, not seeming to mind Eren talking about him, so he continued.
"It's all thanks Levi and the others that things changed. Erwin stepped in charge and--"
"He didn't step in charge. -" Levi corrected, setting a silence in the car for a brief moment.
"Yes, he was the one coming up with the actual plan of doing something, but he never claimed to be any sort of leader. Once the military was out, we knew we'd have to figure out a new system to live by. We gathered up to share ideas of how to build ourselves a working community. Erwin simply happened to be the one who spoke up the most and had logic in his ideas, and of course he had already earned people's respect by stepping up to erase the corruption. His leadership was the people's choice, not something he planned on his own." Levi shared the small piece of history.
Connie sat tight, neck arched to see the back seat. "So, what, you all do whatever you want now?"
"Of course not. With so many people as we have in - obviously we have rules." Levi snorted. "We set our own laws and gave everyone jobs to prevent things from falling apart. Everyone's skills were put in suitable use. Medics, guards, cooks, structure workers... we had to build our own small world that has everything we need to function. It took time, but eventually we got everything right."
"I see." Connie mused to himself. "and you all like it in there?" his question was pointed to no one particular.
"Home is best thing that ever happened to us." you spoke up, sadness present in your tone. "And now it looks like we're losing it... after all we've done. It almost feels like the whole world is actually ending."
With that said, you sunk back to your seat and closed your eyes, not feeling like talking anymore about the subject. It was too painful to you. Abandoning the secure life you had grown to get used to, and leaving out to the cruel world again where you'd have to sleep with one open eye. Even the thought of it made you feel sick in worry.
You couldn't see it, but Levi had his eyes laid on you.
We all feel the same." he then said, and turned his attention on Connie again. "and you, understand this; If you step over the line once we get there, if I catch you even thinking of any plans that would cause us trouble... I will personally drag you up in the woods, tie you up on a tree and watch the growlers eat your sorry ass alive."
You opened one eye to see Levi's dead expression. Eren clenched his jaw, and gave a quick side eye to check on Connie. The poor guy could barely draw a decent breath for being pinned under the backseat passenger's death glare.
"Got it." the young man managed to find his voice.
"All right." Levi was pleased to see he made himself clear, and allowed himself to soften his expression. He cast his eye on what he now saw through the windshield, visibly relaxing on his seat.
It was Home.
"This is it." Eren acted positive, wanting to brighten the mood again. "This is Home, Connie."
Connie's interest had awaken, and he now stared at the large building ahead. "Holy shit." he was surprised by the size of it.
You leaned forward, wanting get a better view. The headlights hit the gates as you approached it slow and steady, and your lips curled up to a smile. How nice it was to be back Home again. The corner of your eye caught the sight of Connie's fists being squeezed in, and you leaned a bit closer.
"I know how you feel. There was a time when I first arrived here, too." you smiled in hope to make him relax. "Don't take Levi's words too seriously. No one wants to hurt you." you added, earning a nervous nods from Connie.
The single day had felt like a lifetime, and everyone was anxious to get inside. The gate was opened for you, and you couldn't help but to smirk at Connie as he looked at the place in awe. It reminded you so much about how you first felt when you stepped in the place. After a short hustle, the cars were unloaded from the little supplies you managed to find. Finally, your trip was officially over, and everyone was dying to get inside to have a well deserved rest. The pain in your calf kept your steps slow and careful, but you could still manage on your own, as you so told to Levi, who remained close by ready to assist you.
Once you got inside the building, you met a sight of an oil lamp lighting up a single table at the back of the otherwise dark canteen. A man sat by it, eyeing what seemed to be a map, and some other scattered papers. He rose up at the sight of your arrival. The tall figure couldn't be mistaken being anyone else but Erwin. He left the table with the lamp to come see the returning men, pausing his steps at the more clear sight of you all. You looked like a lot had happened, it was clear from the way he eyed you.
"Welcome back." Erwin's voice was tamed, suited for the sleeping night. "Did you find anything?"
"Can't tell for sure, yet." Levi answered, and then turned to signal Connie to show himself from the cover of other people.
"This is Connie. We saved him from getting turned into a dinner. He's not immune, but he's clear from bite marks. All though, I still think our people should check on him, just in case." Levi cleared up, knowing how Erwin feels about letting in strangers, especially those who have recently been in contact with the infected.
"I see. Yes, that would be the best." Erwin agreed, observing the new-comer.
"Hi." Connie now greeted the taller man, his voice giving in the fact that he felt unsure of the situation. "Um, thanks for having me here."
"Any survivor is welcome here." Erwin offered his good will, now stepping in to shake the younger one's hand as he introduced himself. "I trust you're not carrying the infection, but it's for the best that you let our medics to have a look at you, just to be sure you're not injured any other way." he suggested, and Connie didn't oppose.
You lifted your chin for the said proposal, and stepped in. "I can take him."
The ache in your leg screamed for treatment, and you turned to go where the fade light glowed at the back of the infirmary hallway. Erwin stepped aside to give you room to limp past him, your painful wincing not passing his attention unnoted.
"Oh," you stopped. "Levi, would you mind getting my stuff up for me, please?" you spoke as you lowered the dirty back-bag from your shoulder. "The stairs might take the most of me with the extra weight." you offered the bag for Levi, trusting him to be kind enough to comply.
Levi wasted no time releasing you from the burden. "You can sleep down here, you idiot. Don't push yourself." he was being caring. "Go get yourself fixed up."
"Thank you." you flashed him a warm smile.
"I would kill for a hot bath." Annie stretched her tired arms, receiving an agreeing 'tell me about it' from Mikasa, who actually needed it more than she did.
"And I can't wait to crash my bed." Eren shared his own wish, craning his sore neck from side to side.
"Yes, go get some rest and treat whatever injuries you have." Erwin encouraged the people to do as they please.
There was no need to drain their energy in pointless standing. There was plenty of time to discuss about the mission tomorrow when everyone has more strength to it. People began to stroll each in their own way. The yawns and tired groans faded into the upper levels of the hospital, while those in need for a desperate clean up, remained in the ground floor, going where the water was stored at.
"A word with you?" Levi turned to Erwin, already stepping aside to enter the empty canteen where there was more privacy.
"Of course." Erwin watched the shorter one go, and turned to face your standing figure looking at where Levi went.
Your mind rushed with the heavy thoughts of Levi's possible plans of telling Erwin what happened to Mike. You knew Mike was one of those Erwin truly trusted, and no doubt Mike meant a great deal for him as a friend. You felt sick from stomach for thinking it was your fault that he'd died. If you'd only done as advised; turned to leave as the damned container hall appeared in sight. But no, you had to let your delusional mind believe there was still hope to find something and argue over it like a child.
"(Name)? Are you all right?" Erwin's voice cut off your inner self beating, and you blinked back to the moment.
"Yeah, I'm fine." you lied, hating to think he probably won't be looking at you in such a friendly manner again once he hears the news.
Shutting yourself mentally from the upcoming, you looked at where Connie still stood waiting for your lead. "Follow me, the medics are back here." you pointed where you were going at, and turned around, leaving Erwin behind in the dark lobby.
Connie followed you close by, keeping his curious eye catching the little details he spotted in the dark. You stopped by the open doorway where the candle light was coming from, casting your eye on the person sitting before a pile of files and medical books. Hanji, keeping herself busy as always.
"Do you ever sleep?" you asked, startling the woman.
"(Name)!" Hanji turned on her seat with a smile, but lost it at the better view of you. "Please tell me that's not your own blood." she commented the gore that covered you, worry present in her eyes.
"Is that (Name)?" another voice called out from the tiny supply closet at the back. Before you knew it, Rose made herself visible. She held a flashlight, pointing it at your direction, scanning you down with the light.
"Oh dear girl." she sighed at the disaster on your leg. "Have a seat. Let me have a look at you." she pointed the light at the bed, and then looked past your figure. "Have I seen you before?"
"Oh, this is Connie. A survivor from Karanese." you introduced the young man, almost forgetting his presence since he was so quiet. "Erwin requested you to have a look at him, too." you mentioned as you moved to climb on the simple bed.
"Hi." Connie awkwardly greeted, following you in.
"Hello, Connie. If you could come and sit right here, please." Hanji stood up and offered her chair. "I'm Hanji, and don't worry a thing. I won't bite." she smirked in attempt to make the guy relax.
"Ok, good to know, I guess." Connie muttered under his breath as he walked where Hanji wished him to be.
"Ow!" you cried in pain as Rose unwrapped the dirty cloth from the wounds. The fabric had bored into the flesh, and pulling it off felt extremely unpleasant.
Rose ignored your displeased groans, only focusing on her task. "Why is it always you?" she complained for the bad luck that seemed to follow you whenever you ventured the outside.
"Oh trust me," you only winced as Rose continued removing the cloth, slowly getting used to her touch. "I'm not getting hurt on purpose."
You now worked to strip yourself from your light jacket, hoping to ease up the smell and get rid of the weight of the soaked fabric. After dropping the smelly jacket on the floor, you dropped your arms back, enjoying the light sensation of only wearing your worn out tank top.
Connie sat before Hanji, awkward, as Hanji pointed a light at his head as she ogled for fresh scratches. He stared at your severed calf, knowing it's a growler bite, and finding it completely weird that you're not panicking and crying over a certain death. His focus shifted on your face, and from there, he noticed the old, scarred marks on your shoulder that almost seemed alive in the flickering candle light.
"The immunity really works, huh?" he wondered out loud.
You lifted your chin to look at him, and then at the bite on your shoulder that once changed everything. The palm of your hand moved to brush over the wrinkled skin.
"Yeah. It works." you murmured, recalling the growler's teeth tearing through the skin, how much it hurt back then, and how it's completely numb now.
"Do you all have the immunity? I mean, do you have it here? The medicine?" Connie tried to articulate.
"I'd love to give you the vaccine, Connie." Hanji spoke from behind him, but there was not much hope in her tone. "But, I'm afraid there's nothing left to give you. We lost the little we had left from the medicine." she told in an apologizing manner.
"I see." Connie lowered his chin.
You watched the two of them, Connie the most, feeling sorry for him. How awful it must feel to hear there's no help for him. You attempted to say something to cheer him up, but at that exact moment, Rose poked your wounds with a medicine-wet cotton pad, making you nearly jump off the bed. It burned like a son of a bitch, but you didn't dare to glare daggers at her, since she was only trying to help.
Rose shook her head. "Why is it always you..." she murmured to herself.
-------
After getting your leg patched up, and hearing that Connie will remain at the infirmary under supervision, you left to go wash the rest of the filth off of you. You wandered through the dark corridor with nothing but a flashlight providing you some vision ahead. The water barrels were at the other end of the main floor, past the canteen and through the few storage rooms.
You arrived to the common wash rooms, not hearing any sounds from the women's side, which meant that Mikasa and Annie had already left. The former employees' changing room was dark, and you used the little light you had to detect the piled up buckets near the large containers that held the water for washing.
Once you dipped the bucket full, you went to a couple of benches that stood near the row of showers that no longer worked. You had two towels with you, borrowed from the infirmary, and you drowned the smaller one into the water. The water is usually heated up during the washing hours, but in the middle of the night, cold water is all you get. This was simply another thing you couldn't be picky about, and actually, the cool touch of the wet fabric felt good against the aching shoulders that you began to clean first.
Footsteps hinted you of someone's presence, and you soon heard your name being called from outside the door. It was Levi, you knew from his voice.
"I'm here." you informed. "Is something wrong?"
"No." he remained behind the door. "I was just bringing you some clean clothes from upstairs, and Hanji mentioned you came in here, so I thought-"
"You can come inside. There's no one else here." you suggested. It felt awkward to speak to him through the door.
You leaned down to wet your hair, while the door opened with a light creak. Levi's flashlight brought busy lines of light across the tile floor, and as he made it beside you, he held the light upon your head to provide you a better vision.
"Thanks for the clothes." you looked at him from the upside down view, squeezing some of the murky water off to the floor.
Levi eyed at your still very much of a blood-gross hair, sighing at the sight of your useless effort to get all the dirt off. He lowered your stuff on the second chair and crouched before you and the bucket between your legs.
"Let me."
You barely managed to lift your head, when Levi was already pushing the flashlight in your possession. "Head down." he then ordered once his hands were free.
You pointed the light at his face, making him squint. "You think I can't handle my own hair?"
"Not when you can't see the dirt yourself." he pushed your hand to get the irritating ray off his sight. "You're gonna have a new species of life growing from the bacteria if you don't get rid off that shit." he stared at you in all seriousness. "Head down." he demanded again, pointing a finger at where he wanted your head.
True, you couldn't help but to agree, and your neck reached down once again. Levi squeezed the wet towel above your head, and the cold trails of water running across your neck made you shiver. You held the light pointed at your head, feeling Levi's digits massaging your scalp. It wasn't exactly a relaxing kind of sensation with having the cold water involved, but it still felt nice.
"Did you tell Erwin about what Connie said?" you decided to kill the silence.
"Yeah. He was interested, as I thought he would be. He's gonna talk with him tomorrow." Levi pulled out a leaf from your tangled locks. "How are you feeling?"
"Well, the leg hurts. The growler only scratched the muscle, though, so I had it easy this time. I need to lay back a few days and make sure the wounds stay clean."
"I wasn't talking about your leg."
"Oh..."
"I know you feel guilty for what happened to Mike, but no one blames you."
"So you told Erwin what happened?"
"Yea."
"And what? He's cool with the fact that it was my fault that he's dead?" you blurted out nervously, not believing him.
"He's not blaming you, or pissed off, if that's what worries you. You've done nothing to deserve hate on you."
"Yes I have. I killed a man."
"Considering why we were there in the first place, there was nothing wrong with not wanting to give up looking. We all take risks, and the outcome's either worth all the shit you have to go through, or it isn't. That's just how it is. Bad things happen, but you must move forward and learn how to live with it."
Levi drew a calming breath. "Also, I've come to realize that even the worst things can be turned into something good."
You think of his words for a moment. "We lost Mike, but found Connie..."
"Exactly. And if Connie can give us the solution we need, then we didn't lose Mike's life for nothing... And it's not just that. If you would've checked every part of the farm house back then, the growler may have never had his chance to bite you, and we wouldn't have immunity today."
"Actually, you are half to blame for what happened." you corrected. "You were in such a hurry to get me open the door that it got me distracted."
Levi hummed. "See? I was being an inpatient idiot and it almost cost your life. You wouldn't have been the first, and definitely not the last one dying over my actions. My point is, you're not the only one who's made mistakes. Many of us have been through the same. They know how it's like, they understand. No one is going to blame you or hate you, trust me."
You smiled at his words, actually feeling a bit better.
"I know exactly what you're going through, and here's an advice; let it go. No matter how fucking bad it hurts. It's all right to be sad and feel shitty about it, but don't let it take you over. I've been in that dark corner once, and it took a hell of a lot effort to get back up again. Don't you ever go there, (Name). You just keep going, all right?" Levi let go of your hair and reached out for the dry towel to set it over your shoulders.
You straightened your back and worked to dry your hair. Levi took back his flashlight, let his elbows rest against his thighs, and for a short moment you only stared at each other.
"I've seen countless of people die. I thought I was... used to it," you began with a quiet voice. "but this time it hit me really hard. It was like I was back being myself four years ago, that weak and scared girl who suddenly lived in a nightmare and didn't know what to do. For a long time I was only happy to survive another day, and I couldn't even sleep under the same roof with other people if I didn't hold a knife ready in my hand." you gave your hair one final squeeze with the towel and stopped. "But it's all different now."
Levi nodded. "For years I did my best to avoid letting people close. They'd either end up dead in no time, or others would try to kill me in my sleep. That's how I saw other people, until I came here. I got to know Erwin, everyone else, and suddenly life wasn't just about my own survival anymore."
"Heh," you smiled faintly. "We've both had quite a journey."
"Yea." Levi agreed. "But there's still a lot we haven't seen yet. The sanctuary, for starters."
"It might be everything we've ever wanted, or it's all our worst fears becoming true." you mused.
"Another risk." Levi gave you a hint of a smile. "but I think it's worth it."
You tilted your head playfully. "When did you become so optimistic?"
"Ever since you appeared to turn my orderly life upside down and making it better." Levi gave you the answer without a moment of hesitation.
You simply stared at him, taken off by his words. Then, a short chuckle left from you.
"Poor Connie must be so scared of you after all that talk in the car... imagine if he knew that you can be such a sweetheart sometimes." you teased him.
Your words had Levi looking at you dead in the eye. He rose on his feet and leaned to set his hands on your thighs. There he stood, his face right before yours. "Don't you dare tell him that or I'll have break your neck." he so seriously joked, before he closed the distance to kiss your lips.
How long has it been since you last kissed? You couldn't remember, but you were glad to be reminded of how it feels like.
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." you smirked, loving the way he always manages to bring you up from the most darkest places of your mind. "Thank you. I feel much better now. And, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk for so long. I imagine it was hard for you to tell me the truth about... you know."
"It was." Levi admitted. "You know, we can talk about it, if you want? If there's anything on your mind, I'll listen."
You shook your head. "No, I don't think I want to... actually, I'd rather forget it ever happened." you admitted, even with the risk of hurting Levi's feelings.
"I see." Levi lowered his head. "To be honest, I'd prefer that, too. I still don't quite know how I feel about all of it, but it doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"
"No, it doesn't." a sad smile visited your lips.
Levi remained in his thoughts for a brief moment. "We can't go back and change things even if we wanted to. So, I say we move on?"
You nodded in agreement. "Yes, let's do that."
Levi sighed in relief. You inhaled a deep clear breath, and reached your arms to pull the man closer so you could hold him. Levi has never been much of a hugger, but you figured you both needed one now. You held him tight, apologizing, forgiving, and forgetting all the bad things in the world in this short moment. It was finally over, the tension, the ridiculous sulking and blaming. The air around you felt suddenly so much lighter. The heavy burden was finally lifted off from both of your shoulders. All was fine now.
Levi slowly backed away, looking at where your clean clothes waited on the chair. "I'll leave you change your clothes."
You watched him standing up, and he somehow seemed different from before. It was like you could now see a whole new side of him, like you were finally able to point some light into one of the many dark hallways in the depths of his mind.
"Get some sleep. You must be so tired." your voice remained as a whisper, a very gentle one. "I can manage from here."
Levi pointed the light towards the floor, and in the dark you couldn't see how his face really looked like. "All right. I'll come see you tomorrow, after we know more about Connie."
With that said, he turned to leave. The heavy door opened, and you heard his footsteps at the hallway, until the door pulled itself close again. There you sat, hair still wet and a single ray of light pointing at the wall before you, in a complete silence.
-------
Levi was right. Life goes on and it's up to you whether you choose to move forward or chain yourself to the past. Blaming yourself wont bring back those who have died, nor does it help you to move on. You have to forgive yourself, accept the fact that not all your decisions are the right ones, that mistakes happen. Now was not the time to dwell into darkness and give up on life. Many lives depends on whatever decisions will be made next, and you have to focus on getting your leg healed so you can be useful again.
Erwin visited the infirmary early in the next morning. He came knocking the door across your own, asking Connie to have a word with him. The noises woke you up, and you saw them both from your own room that had its door open, but you pretended to be asleep when Erwin's head turned to look in your way.
It's been hours since you've seen either of them. You slept, and then you laid back some more since there really wasn't much to do. Walking was going all right, but the pain appeared to tear up your nerves if you failed to pay attention to the right rhythm.
You didn't want to risk increasing the days it would take to fully recover, so, you occupied yourself with staring at the ceiling until the cracked paint almost drove you insane. What were the others up to, you couldn't help but wonder in your boredom. Are they training? Packing perhaps? Have they made any plans yet? You itched to know what was going on, even if it was nothing just yet.
Grabbing the crutch left beside your bed, you decided take a walk to the lobby, being extra careful, of course. At least there were other people who'd hopefully keep you company, anything but alone in the infirmary seemed like a better place to be.
The chatter grew louder a you came closer to the lobby. You passed an elevator that hasn't lifted a single person in years, meeting the large doorway to the staircase next on your right. The sound of chatter and footsteps reached your ear, and as you turned to look, Armin stepped down the stairs with Eren following close by. The blonde one noticed you, and greeted you in a friendly manner.
"Hi." your smile might have looked more genuine if it wasn't for the pain.
"Eren told me about Karanese. Are you all right?" Armin appeared to be in his role of a caring parent.
"I'm fine." you assured him. "Just hungry, I guess." the detail slipped past your lips, and you decided to continue your way to check if there's anything good on today's menu.
"Can we join you?" Armin asked before you managed to take a step.
"Sure." you smiled at him, and then your gaze found Eren.
He seemed off, strangely quiet and wondering. You figured it was just the post mission void that bothered him, but you couldn't help yourself from asking, "Is something wrong?"
You started walking, and it took a while from Eren to put his thoughts in words.
"You haven't seen Connie, right?"
You shook your head. "No. I guess he's busy being questioned."
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Eren moved aside to make room for the few people passing through the corridor. "What do you think Erwin will do? Do you think he'll suggest we leave to... find the place Connie was talking about?" he toned down the last part.
"Maybe, if Connie makes him convinced he really has a way to find it. I don't know, really." you mused in lack of facts. "We'll find out sooner or later."
"I guess." Eren sighed, but didn't really seem satisfied.
"What's with him?" you asked Armin, since you thought he may be more willing to talk.
"He's just worried." Armin chuckled in attempt to assure it's not a big deal.
"So what if I am?" Eren suddenly turned all defensive, stopping in his tracks right before you reached the rows of tables and dozens of curious ears.
Eren looked tense, tired, years older from his actual age. "What if we actually leave? I mean, How could it really work with all the people? We'd be just... just out there on our own and simply hoping that the Sanctuary really exists. What if it doesn't? What would we do then?"
"I'm sure no one's gonna force anyone to leave if they really don't want to." it was your time to be defensive, and a part of you was even offended of Eren's words.
You understood his worry over the unknown, but you couldn't believe he acted like he suddenly didn't trust there's a chance at all. You support the idea of leaving, and as far you know, yesterday Eren had nothing against the idea either. Did he let the doubt take the best of him during a night full of thinking about it? It's natural to have second thoughts and be worried, you reasoned, but you still didn't like the sudden change in him.
"If there's even a slightest chance that there's a better place, I'm ready to do whatever it takes to get us there." you revealed your thoughts.
"I'm not saying I wanna stay behind!" Eren snapped in the impression that you thought he was being a coward.
"I didn't say you were going to." you hissed back in frustration.
"Guys," Armin stepped in to prevent any further friction from happening. "people are watching." he then whispered, glancing at he curious eyes turned into your direction.
"Ok, I'm sorry." you did your part to settle things down. "I know what you mean, and I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about the same things. I hate to imagine our people out there in the wild where everything can go wrong. I'm not exactly in favor of leaving without knowing for sure that there's a certain solution waiting for us in the end. But, if or when those gates are open and people flow out, I'll be with them."
Eren took a single step forward to mark his seriousness, but before he got to open his mouth, a voice called his name to mess up his brain work.
Jean appeared from the staircase, hurrying himself closer. "Guys," he began half way to you. "I think something's happening."
"What?" Armin wanted to know more.
"They just got out of the meeting room, Erwin and the others. I think they're done talking." Jean revealed more details.
You and Eren glanced each other, both of you silently deciding to set the arguing aside for now. Before you knew it, you heard footsteps from the stairs, and Erwin was the first to land his foot on the lobby. Levi stepped out soon after with Connie right behind him, and Hanji's figure was the last to follow.
All four of you stared at the approaching group, mixed feelings reflecting from the looks in your eyes. Erwin stopped by the entrance, saying something to Hanji, who then went outside. He then continued to enter the canteen, where most of the people were having lunch at the moment.
"Is something happening?" Armin asked as Erwin was passing your spot.
"A decision has been made." Erwin mentioned once he spared a moment to stop on his way. "Actually, good thing that you're here. Would you take a quick round through the floors and ask the people to come down at once." he pointed the request to those with healthy pair of legs.
The young men exchanged looks among each other, acting nervous, but agreeing to do as asked. You quickly checked on Levi and Connie who had followed Erwin's lead and stopped near you. Levi's face was unreadable, like it so often was. But Connie, he looked nervous. Could this mean..?
You shifted your Attention on Erwin, the question ready on your tongue. "We're leaving, aren't we?"
"Yes. The journey will happen." Erwin revealed after considering it a moment. "I will tell the details once everyone gets down here. Do not spread the word on your own. This has to be handled in a right way, the news might be shocking to some people." Erwin explained himself.
"I see." Armin looked like he was about to explode from all the mixed feelings the information caused. "Well, then. Let's go, guys." he suggested Eren and Jean to get on the move.
The young men left to the staircase, starting to run only after they got our of sight.
"Now we wait." Erwin said to no one particular, and continued his way to the room full of clueless people having lunch.
"Levi," you called out before he managed to slip past you. "Does this mean you have a plan? Is everything settled?" you tried not to sound too anxious and worried, which you were. "Please, tell me something, anything."
Levi gestured you to keep it down, before he stepped right next to you so no extra ears could hear him.
"Everything's settled. We'll leave in a few days, and we take along everyone who wants to leave. We take one car, but most of us will have to walk. Troublesome and slow, for sure, but we gotta deal with it. We meet up with Connie's people, maybe get another transport from there, and continue going where the map leads us." he told you the highlights.
"I see... yeah, sounds good." You nodded hastily, heart drumming in your chest. "What about Hanji, where did she-"
"She went to inform the people outside." Levi explained, before he cast his eye on the crutch in which you were leaning on. "Come, let's go sit somewhere. This might take a while." he gestured you to follow him and Connie.
And like a robot, you followed them to find an empty seat.
-------
Eventually, all the people found their way to the canteen.
Erwin spoke for what felt like hours. People had so many questions, mostly about concerning their safety during the travel, and Erwin answered the best he could. All though, he didn't exactly add a lot of hope to it. In fact, for you it felt like he was doing the very opposite. The only silver line he managed to put in people's minds, was the possibility of a safer home awaiting them at the end of the journey. Everything else, well, he made sure people knew all the risks, not really sparing any scenarios.
People first said he's crazy, that there's no way they could make it, and doubted that the sanctuary was really there. It was expected, and understandable that people were afraid and unable to trust in their chances. But, there were already those who'd agreed to leave, and Erwin got backup when things started heating up. Levi and Hanji had no second thoughts for standing up for his behalf, and all of you, who went to Karanese, also stood by the plan. Eren, too.
Even Connie got his chance to speak up when he was accused of being a backstabbing liar and only plotting to trick them to a certain death. It all started when it was mentioned that Connie's people had a bus resting at their camp. His people had used it as their transport, but it had broken down and the set back forced them to settle near the city of Karanese.
Connie's people lacked the talent to fix the problem, but he was positive that with a proper repair, the bus could work again. Connie was convinced that his group would agree to share the map, one way or another. Not everyone agreed with Erwin's trust upon the stranger, which was expected, and truth to be told, you doubted Erwin himself fully trusted him. But, this was the plan, and Erwin left the people to decide for themselves whether they believe Connie or not.
Eventually, the talk moved on to the point when the people were asked to make a choice. In three days from now, some will leave, and that's the fact. Those who want to come along, should start packing and help making the preparations, and those who wish to stay, are free to do just that. No one is forced to do anything they don't want to, that was made clear. That being said, Erwin left the lobby, leaving an incredibly loud chatter behind.
Hanji gathered the medics and went to check the inventory for what will be taken with, and which supplies are to remain an Home. Levi took volunteers to fix any urgent problems, weak spots on the fence and whatever else there was to ensure the safety of those choosing to stay behind. It was also decided to sent a group to find spare parts for the bus from the nearby city. Connie was sure that the problem occurred in the shifting gear, so that's what people went to look parts for.
The search party left the next day with Levi leading it, while the rest of you continued to make everything ready for your leave. The group returned at the same evening with the little they managed to find. Luckily, no one was hurt during the search, and now you had one less thing to worry about.
The rest of the day wasn't that productive. People's minds were on the new plans, and many were still trying to figure out what they'll do. The next day, it was time to fix and prepare the minivan for the journey. You were there with most of the Seekers, doing your part in preparations just like everyone else. Some people came by, asking questions about the plan and whatever concerned them. Some asked if they could help, clearly ready to leave, while some kept their distance, still unsure what to decide. Overall, Home was awfully quiet.
You had already decided to leave, there was no question about it. But, as the evening came, the thought of the upcoming travel finally hit you. It was the last night you'd spend an Home. The last time you'd walk through the floors, sleep in the comfort of your bed, live the routines of everyday life. You had to force yourself to eat that night. Everyone seemed to lack appetite when the thought of leaving created the illusion of gathering around for The last supper.
There was no guarantee that you'd find the sanctuary, and even if you did, would there be enough space for more people? Would you be able find a way to bring the rest of your people to the new place, once you've found it? There are the elderly people, families with small children, and those too weak to travel or simply too scared to leave. By now, the decisions have been made, and more than half of the people are going to stay. In a way, it's a relief. It would be difficult to travel with massive numbers.
While Hanji sat with you to eat, she informed that all the seekers, and 35 residents are going to leave Home. Only a few families are joining, no people over the age of fifty. So few, you thought, but it was understandable. The trip will be dangerous, and those not in good health were smart enough to know they'd only slow down the travel. If there is a better place, and a chance to get a proper transport, you would surely come back to get the rest of them. That's what the people put their hopes on, even if there's a good chance it never happens.
You reluctantly finished your little dinner, and headed to the infirmary. You needed to check your leg before hitting the bed. Walking down the hallway brought back memories. Every corner of Home seemed to awake flashbacks, making it hard for you to accept the fact that this indeed might be the last time you'd see the place. You strolled to the door that had light flickering from the inside, and you stood at the doorway looking at the room before you. It was the same room in which you were brought when you first arrived here.
"(Name)." a gentle voice called from outside your vision.
You looked to your right, seeing Rose sorting out some bottles into the shelves.
"Hi." you smiled. "I came for the checkup."
"I see." Rose turned to face you. "Have a seat."
You did as you were told, climbing on the bed where you next rolled up the fabric to reveal the healing calf. Sadness filled your nerves as you followed Rose with your gaze as she looked through the drawers to find you some clean bandages.
"I heard you've decided to stay here." you mentioned quietly.
Rose drew a breath through her nose. "Yes." she admitted rather sadly, before she turned to come to you. "Someone needs to look after the people who'll stay behind." she told you with a tamed smile.
You watched her hands undoing the fabric around your wounds, nodding to her words. "Will there be others to help you out? I know Hanji and Moblit are coming along with us." you worried about her.
"I'll have plenty of helping hands." Rose acted positive. "I'd be lying if I said I won't be missing those two, but, you need all the help you can get once you're on the road." she reasoned, and went quiet to focus on examining your leg. "You're healing well, and there's no sighs of infection. Is the leg working all right? Any pain?"
"I don't feel any pain." you said, even though it wasn't completely true. It still ached and felt a bit stiff if you tried to run or do something else extreme, but otherwise you could manage. There's no need to make her worried.
"Good." Rose began to roll the clean fabric over the bite. "I pray nothing bad happens to any of you." she mused after a moment of silence. "It will be awfully quiet in here once you'll be gone."
You stared down at her, an awful feeling rising up from your guts. "Rose," you began, waiting for her to raise her chin. "If there's even a tiniest chance to it, we will come back for you." you promised, hating the way she sounded like she's not expecting to ever see the rest of you again.
"I know." Rose tied up the knot. "but I'm sure you from all people know that bad things can happen out there. Don't be angry with me if I want to make sure to give you a proper goodbye, (Name)." she now clearly had to fight to keep herself from collapsing mentally.
You didn't have Rose's willpower, and you let your eyes get filled with tears. You shifted yourself to the edge of the bed, and grabbed her into your embrace, and by then, Rose let her protective walls to crumble as well. You thanked her for everything she'd done for you. You said you'd miss her so much. You cried against her shoulder, hugging her for the longest time.
-------
You were a mess, a complete mess. You went off to bed, but sleeping was impossible. Levi arrived probably a few hours after you, and you could see there were a million things troubling his mind, too. You welcomed him next to you, hoping his presence would help you rest, but somehow he made it even harder for you to close your eyes. It was the last time you'd be at peace like this, alone, cuddling in silence. Who knows when you'd rest on a mattress again, if ever. On top of roots, grass and rocks in the cold night, that's where you'd be sleeping on for the many nights to come, if no other shelter exists.
There will be people around, everywhere. No chance for privacy, you both knew this. You took the most of it, making sure to enjoy each others touch while you still could. You had avoided him in your anger for so long that you had nearly forgotten how he really felt like, and then it hit you just how much you had missed him.
Nothing but your raspy breaths sounded in the calm of the night. You tasted sweat from Levi's lips as you breathed into each others mouths when the thrusts had grown harsh and raw. You loved his weight on you and the smell of his neck as you occasionally eased up to simply feel each other, so deep, so slow and so good, enjoying every second of it like it was the last time you'd have the chance to be like this.
Once you laid there after, skin against skin, feeling tired and yet so alive, you cried. You cried, letting everything out so there would be nothing left but the mission clear in your head when you'd leave the gates once the sun arises.
The dawn of your journey arrived, and by some miracle you managed to sleep. Not enough, for sure, but a bit, and that was still something. Reluctant goodbyes, forced smiles and pure sadness, that's what you all had to dive through before you finally got outside. Once the gates were opened, you didn't stop walking. You didn't look back, you couldn't.
The minivan was packed full, only the front seats remaining free for those who are in desperate need for a moment of rest. Connie was stuffed at the backseat to sit in the little room there was. Since he didn't have the immunity, he had to stay away from the road. The car was meant to go ahead, along with few armed men traveling by its side, while the rest of the people followed close behind, also guarded from front to the back.
The small river of people were all carrying whatever little supplies and personal belongings they'd manage to deliver without exhausting themselves. No one knew how long it would take to travel, and you had to be prepared for everything from running to climbing. Heavy packages don't suit for a journey like this. The road would be your new home, at least for until you reach to Connie's camp. At this speed, you should be there before nightfall. That's, if nothing bad happens on the way.
-------
"You sure you're fine?" Hanji inquired from the driver's seat, worried eyes checking upon you.
You gently massaged the sore muscle around the wounded calf, feeling ashamed for acting so pathetic. "It's just a bit stiff from walking. I'll be fine soon enough."
Hanji averted her attention back on the road. Levi strolled near the front with his weapon ready and eyes sharp for anything that moves in the forest around the road. Erwin guarded on the right side, eyes facing front at the never ending road. Hanji looked at the mirror to see what's happening behind. She saw both Mikasa and Reiner following right behind the vehicle, and behind them, the rest of the group. They moved slowly, so very slowly.
"Roll down the window." Hanji requested.
You checked her face, seeing her eyes pinned on Erwin's figure, and you rolled the glass down.
Hanji leaned over you. "Erwin?" she tried to get his attention, and once Erwin turned his head, she gestured him to come closer.
"What is it?" Erwin spoke up as he got beside the window.
"We should stop for a moment." Hanji suggested. "We've been on the move for hours."
Erwin cast his eye upon the large group behind, considering the request. "I suppose." he mused, and set his focus on the road ahead for a short while, before he looked at the back seat. "Connie, are we getting close?"
Connie snapped from his thoughts. He leaned forward and wished you to show him the map. He pointed a finger on it. "We're pretty close, actually. It's right there. It takes about 30 minutes to walk, after the main road departs a bit further from where we are right now."
Erwin looked at the map, and then lifted his gaze to observe the male, trying to make up his mind whether he trusts him or not.
"I see. If that's the case, we could make the rest of the way without stopping... but, we can't know how your people will react to us showing up." Erwin strolled beside the slowly moving car, facing forward again. "We might need the rest, in case they decide to attack. We can't defend ourselves if we're too exhausted." he reasoned.
"I... I don't think it's gonna be like that." Connie tried to ease up the tension. "they won't jump on you once they see me and I explain everything."
"Are you so sure about that? They might think you're traveling against your will, and you'd only be telling them what you're told to." Hanji mentioned, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. "And, big number of people might be intimidating. They might panic if they feel cornered."
"I guess." Connie sighed with a heavy voice, and then leaned back. "Shit... I've never been this nervous in my entire life." he mumbled quietly.
"It'll be fine, I'm sure of it." you tried to act positive, craning your neck to see the back seat.
Connie stared down at his knees, looking like he just took a beating of his life.
You turned your head, meeting Hanji's concerned face, and then continuing the motion to look at Erwin. He spared a single glance at the back seat, but had nothing to say to lighten the mood. You had hoped otherwise, feeling sorry for Connie, knowing just from the look of him that he's stressed out beyond words.
"We're going to rest after the road makes the turn." Erwin informed shortly, and called for Levi, who averted his attention from the woods to look behind his shoulder.
Levi slowed down his approach to get near Hanji's window, eyeing the scene suspiciously.
"Something wrong?"
"We're getting close to Connie's camp." Erwin shared the information, and checked on Reiner and Mikasa, who both observed the talk from behind. "There's no need to bring everyone in the camp before we've made sure it's safe. Spread the word. We must get volunteers to meet up with Connie's people, five or six should be enough." he pointed the last part to Reiner, who, after a nod, turned on his heels.
Sending a small group to test the thin ice? That might work the best. You looked down on your leg, wondering if you should volunteer.
Once the you made the turn to the side road, the car was stopped, and the flow of people soon gathered nearby for the very much needed rest. Some began to prepare food ready for everyone, while the most tired ones simply laid down. Reiner, Jean and Bertholdt went to check the area nearby, while Erwin, Connie, Levi, Mikasa, Annie and Moblit had gathered together to make last minute plans before moving into Connie's camp.
You had decided to stay behind, since you couldn't fully trust your leg just yet. Some time passed, and Hanji was the first to wonder if Reiner and the others had lost their way in the woods. They were told to only check the surroundings from close by, and their absence started making people restless. Levi called out a search team, but before they were set on the move, Jean ran off the woods, panting and struggling to utter a word in his current state.
"There was... Reiner, he... he disappeared." Jean breathed heavily, waving his arm at where he came from. "We followed the noises he made, but... he told us not to come. He didn't sound so good."
Connie stood by others who had come to hear Jean's trouble, suddenly looking pale.
"That's right, we're so close already... I didn't realize," Connie muttered, staring at nothing. "This is bad." he now backed away slowly, not knowing what to do.
"Connie?" Erwin stepped away from the human circle. "If you know what's going on, speak up." he demanded sharply.
Levi also stepped out to face the younger man, already fired up to take action of needed. "I swear if this is your doings..." Levi puffed out, fighting against the urge to beat him senseless on the road.
"This is not a set up!" Connie took more distance to Levi, his threat still fresh in his memory. "We've prepared traps in the area to keep the dead ones away." Connie now looked into the forest in horror. "I completely forgot, I'm sorry." his apology seemed genuine. He slowly turned to meet the many eyes that stared at him, struggling to speak up his mind without triggering someone on jump on him. "I, I think we should hurry. If he really has fell on one of them... I don't think he's gonna make it."
Levi stepped up, flipping the riffle over his back as he stomped to grab Connie from the collar. Breathing sharp through his nose, Levi considered Connie's words, more than willing to make him suffer if he found any hints that the guy was lying. Connie only stood there being held, having no choice but to accept his fate if it came to it while trying to look as non threatening as possible under the vicious stare.
"I swear this is not a trick. Please believe me, We should go help the man--" Connie blabbered in panic, repeating the record of saying he's not trying to cause them trouble and begging them to believe him.
Everyone watched the scene in silence, no one attempting to stop Levi as he spared another long seconds tormenting the young man with his threatening posture. Levi checked on Erwin whom'd been watching Connie's act closely. Erwin was thinking, and then it seemed he had made his mind. After that, as if receiving a silent message from his look, Levi let go of the boy, only to grab him again from the shoulder as he pushed him towards the forest.
"Let's go see those traps then, Connie" Levi turned on his heels. "Jean, lead the way. Let's go find Reiner." Levi marched towards the woods with Connie ahead of him.
"I'll come, too!" Moblit rushed after them. "In case Reiner's hurt badly and he needs immediate help."
"I'll go, too." Mikasa joined in.
"Me too!" you spoke up and hurried yourself out of the car, grabbing a gun ready.
Levi turned to question your choice to join in, but you greeted him with a look that said Don't even think about saying otherwise. You didn't feel the ache anymore, or you did, but you chose to ignore it. There are bigger problems to worry about. Levi decided to drop his protest, and so the six of you strolled into the forest, praying it's not too late for Reiner.