Blake wakes up the next morning finally having got a good night's sleep with Gwen back in his bed. He looks down to see her eyes open but she is just laying there.
"Morning sunshine"
"Morning" she says hugging him tighter and to her surprise he hugs her tighter too
They lay there for a few minutes reveling in the quiet, just holding one another. It's Blake who finally breaks the silence.
"Let's go fix coffee and your Sprite mix. Then we can talk."
"Yeah ok"
..............................................
They go out on the back porch drinks in hand. Blake sits down in one of the chairs next to the table. Gwen goes to walk by him but he reaches out pulling her into his lap. Gwen screams in surprise and Blake laughs his deep belly laugh before leaning in and placing, for the first time since they separated, a kiss on her lips. It's short but it's enough to relax both of them and dissipate some of the awkward tension.
"Blake you know I didn't leave to hurt you."
"I know that sunshine, but you leaving for two days was like two days without water or air. It hurt a lot."
"Blake I looked at the way you were with Stella and the fact that I can't give that to you hurts me, it literally kills me. All I have ever wanted since I was a little girl was to be a mom. I watched my mom and I knew I wanted to be just like her. This cancer took that from me and I hate it even more for that."
Tears are now rolling down Gwen's face. Blake wants to pull her in tight and try to make all the pain go away but he knows the pain won't go away that easy.
"The way you were with Stella made me want to give you a baby so bad. I left because I wanted that for you and by staying you would never have that. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done. I cried the whole way to Jen's house. Once we got there I went straight to the guest room and locked myself in there. I couldn't stop crying or wishing you were there to hold me."
"Gwen I knew when we started this that you couldn't have kids and I chose to stay. Have I wanted kids of my own? Yes but Gwen you honestly mean more to me than having kids. Later on if we want kids there are other ways of going about having kids."
"You would be ok with adopting kids?" Gwen asks slightly shocked
Gavin had made his opinion known about adoption when one of Gwen's friends had adopted a baby. He would say things like "I would never raise someone else's baby!"
Of course he followed it up with how he doesn't even want kids that are his anyway. So Blake accepting that she can't give him kids and being willing to adopt is just one more thing to add to how perfect he is.
"Yeah if that's what we want then I would be absolutely ok with it."
"Even though they won't be your kids?"
"Gwen they might not biologically be mine but if we adopt them, they are mine. I don't need genetics to tell me if a child is mine. If I love and raise a child that child is mine. Gwen, Sunshine I need you to promise me something though."
"Ok"
"Promise me that two weeks from now you won't decide again that you can't hold me back from having kids and leave again. I can't go through that again."
"Blake I promise. If those two days taught me anything it's that I can't live without you. They were two of the worst days of my life. I need you." Gwen promises placing her hand on his chest
"Ok good...now give me a real kiss."
Their lips meet and their worlds erupt. The feeling of their contentedness washes over both of them. Blake finally feels like he can breathe again. He finally feels at ease. Gwen relaxes into the kiss. She knows now that they are ok, that they are going to be ok.
.......................................................
"Gwen sunshine we need to go or you're gonna be late for you appointment." Blake yelled up the steps
"I'm ready Blakey" Gwen says as she comes to the top of the step
Blake is more than happy to hear her call him Blakey again. He missed it more than he knew. As she makes it to the bottom of the steps, Blake pulls her into his arms.
"I love you Gwen."
"I love you too Blake, so much."
They both get into the car and make their way to hospital.
................................................
Blake parks the car and circles around to Gwen's door to help her out. They walk into the hospital and up to the desk. They don't see Lou at first which only intensifies Blake's need to stay with Gwen. Once they are checked in they sit in the waiting room.
"Gwen I'm going back with you this time. I don't care what their rules are. I'm not leaving you, not today. I just got you back."
"Blake, its not their rule that you can't go back with me." Gwen says looking at her lap
"What do you mean?"
"I had Lou tell you that because I didn't want you to see me like that. I'm so weak and look awful, that's not what I want you to see when you think about me." She said looking everywhere but at Blake
"Gwen baby, look at me. I don't think you're weak at all. I think the exact opposite. I think you're one of the strongest woman I know. Gwen you don't have to be brave all the time you know. I'm here to support you and be here for you. Don't shut me out ok? Please?"
"Thank you Blakey; I love you."
"I love you too Sunshine"
..............................................
The time had come to head back to the chemotherapy treatment room and Gwen was so nervous that it would overwhelm Blake; after all he had only seen her after her treatments, never during.
As they made their way back Blake took her hand and reminded her "it's going to be okay Gwen...I am right here and I am not going anywhere."
How he knew exactly what to say and when to say it to ease her mind never ceased to amaze her.
As they walk into the room Blake takes in his surroundings. So many patients fighting to survive. He was in awe of how strong all of the people were. Some of them had family or friends there to support them and some didn't. It made his sad to think that Gwen went through this alone until he came along. He silently said a prayer thanking God that he placed him in Gwen's path.
Lou approached Gwen and asked "you ready to begin my friend? I see you brought company this time!"
"I am all set Lou and yes I did. Blake is going to sit with me today during my treatment" Gwen replied softly.
"Well I for one am glad that you are finally realizing that having someone who cares about you with you can have a positive affect on you!"
"Ok Lou...let's get started"
Blake observed Lou as she got Gwen ready to receive her treatment. He thought he knew how strong Gwen was by just choosing to fight, but seeing her get attached to the line that would send her treatment to her body made him realize the magnitude of the situation and put it into perspective. There was no way that he would ever forget to tell Gwen how proud he was of her.
"Blake you can sit right here with Gwen. You can help yourself to magazines, cards, whatever you'd like in the treatment area" Lou said.
"Thanks Lou...I appreciate it" he replied.
As time elapsed Blake could see Gwen was getting tired so he suggested she take a nap. She couldn't seem to fall asleep this time so he decided to read to her from the magazine.
Gwen watched him with adoration in her eyes as his deep, southern voice lulled her to sleep.
When she awoke Gwen immediately sought out Blake and not surprisingly, there he was, right by her side just like he said. A man of his word. How did she get so lucky?
"Hey there baby, how are you feeling?" he asked
"I am okay right now Blake but in a little bit the medicine will really hit me."
..............................................
Gwen is asleep when Blake turns the car into the drive way. She had been really sick before they left and they gave her something to help, which made her sleep. He takes a second to look at her and she look so peaceful. He gets out and goes around to her side. He carefully picks her up trying not to wake her. When he has her in his arms she snuggles into him. His heart overflows. He carries her upstairs to their bed. He turns the tv on quietly and works to unpack her suitcase into his drawers and closet. He makes sure to bring her pink bin to the bed knowing chances are she will need it. He crawls into bed next to her. Within five minutes she sits up searching for the bin. Blake hands it to her just in time. They follow this pattern every 15 minutes it seems until she no longer has anything in her stomach to throw up. Blake pushes the Sprite mix knowing how much fluids she is losing. Blake looks at the clock and realizes he needs to leave to go get Luke and Betty from the airport. With all the craziness of the last few days Blake didn't even get a chance to tell Gwen.
"Gwen sunshine"
"Hi" she says
"I know we didn't really get to talk about it, but my buddy Luke is bringing Betty in today. I have to run to the airport to go pick them up."
"It's ok just don't let him come in here. I don't want this to be the first impression he gets of me."
"Ok sunshine this room is off limits. Now I'm gonna be back as fast as I can but are your gonna be ok while I'm gone?"
"Yeah Blakey I'm just gonna sleep."
"Here is your phone and the pink bin. If ANYTHING happens please promise you will call me."
"I will. I'll be fine I promise."
Blake places a kiss on her lips before getting up and heading to the airport. He can't wait for Gwen to meet Betty. He only prays Gwen loves her. As he pulls into the private parking area he sees the plane rolling up. He timed this perfectly, which is a damn good thing because he doesn't want Gwen being that sick at home by herself. When he sees his friend exit the plane he gets out of his car and yells for Betty. Luke drops her leash just in time before Betty to takes off in a full sprint. She jumps and knocks Blake to the ground instantly licking his face all over. He eventually calms her as Luke walks up.
"Luke it's great to see you buddy."
"It's great to see ya man. Still can't believe you're a city guy now."
"I'm not a city guy just have a city girlfriend that needs me."
"Man you are so whipped." Luke laughs
"Look buddy she is sick ok."
"Sick how?"
"She is in chemo for cancer."
"I gotta ask you a legit question. I'm not trying to piss you off but I need to ask. Do you love her or are you with her because she is sick?"
"What the hell man? I would never pity date someone. I love her."
"Alight buddy. I had to ask."
They get in the car and head back toward the house. At first they don't talk much. That is till Luke breaks the silence.
"Man come on. I had to make sure. I'm just looking out for ya."
"I know man it's just been a rough few days and she is at home really sick right now. I need to get home to her. I don't know why but I have a gut feeling something is wrong."
"Man you really seriously are whipped. Y'all can't even be apart." Luke teases
They pull in the drive way. Blake doesn't know what it is or why but he knows something is wrong. He doesn't want to be rude to his friend but he feels like he needs to get to Gwen and fast.
"Hey buddy I'm gonna run and check on Gwen and then I'll help ya get your stuff and Betty's stuff." Blake tells Luke before jogging to the door
Once the door is unlocked Blake is running up the steps calling out for Gwen. She doesn't answer him and his gut sinks further. It's not till he enters his room and sees Gwen lying on floor that his stomach hits rock bottom. It looks like she must have tried to go the bathroom and didn't make it back to bed. He literally feels like his life is being ripped from his chest. He runs to her tears falling from his face. He can't lose her not like this. When he gets to her, he tries to get her to come to.
"Gwen baby please. Sunshine. Gwen you can't leave me. Don't do this! Don't leave me."
Blake can't wake her and he is in full panic mode. He rips his cell phone out calling 911. He tells them what's going on and gives them the address. The person on the phone asks him if she is breathing. Blake bends down to see if he can hear her breathing.
"Yes she is breathing. Please hurry." Tears pouring down his face
Luke comes to the door of their bedroom and hears the dispatch on the phone.
"Blake man is everything ok?"
Blake turns to look at him and Luke sees the tears pouring down his buddies face.
"What can I do man?" Luke asks
"Sir is there someone else there with you?" The dispatcher asks
"Yeah my friend is here." Blake chokes out
"Have him go outside and stand at the end of the driveway so the ambulance can find the house easier."
Luke nods his head at Blake sprinting out of the room and down to his post.
"He went down there." Blake tells the dispatcher
The next few minutes flash by as the ambulance gets there and they load Gwen into the back. They try to tell Blake he needs to drive but he refuses to leave Gwen's side. Right now she is breathing and her heart is beating, he isn't leaving her. Last time he left she ended up in this situation. It's his fault; he never should have left her alone when she was that sick. Finally they relent and allow him to ride with her. As they are headed to the hospital he calls Gwen's mom, she needs to know.
"Mrs. Stefani I need you to meet Gwen and me at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A." Blake says with a shaky voice
"Is everything ok Blake?" Pattie asks fear lacing her voice
"She was on the floor unconscious, I'm scared and I think you need to be here. I have to go we are in the ambulance."
"Ok Blake we are walking out the door now. Please take care of our baby."
"I'm trying"