This is me. I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken. But if you want me, I'm yours
- Courtney Peppernell
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Chapter 11
Camila's POV
The whole drive was silent except for The Carpenters playlist playing on the background which I've created using Lauren's spotify. My eyes are darted straight on the window as Lauren drive along the blocks of Manhattan. Honestly, I'm so excited and looking forward for this party. I have to admit, I'm the worst party goer you'll ever meet in your whole life. I don't know, I want to enjoy partying and stuff but I always find myself looking for an excuse to leave and slack off to my bed instead, reading some fictional books while listening to Karen Carpenter's I Just Fall In Love Again and let myself feel the love from the love story I've been reading. That's how hopeless romantic I am.
But now that I have Shawn and currently living in the process of creating my own happily-ever-after, I gotta step up from my game a little bit. Not that I am insecure or something but I'm starting to realize that Shawn's a jock and there are so many girls always hanging out around him -more sexier and prettier than I am. Shawn's ex, Camila Althea, was one hell of a beauty, I'm going to give that to her. I mean, every Shawn's ex is beautiful then here I am, a potato and nerd looking with this eyeglasses on.
I...kinda want to change myself and my looks. Not just for Shawn but for me as well. I want to try something I don't usually do (it's not that bad to show my inner Karla out sometimes, right? I think it's time for her to take over). That's also one of the reason why I'm looking forward for this party so I can talk with Selena since she's part of the Cheer leading squad.
The car stopped at the side so I look through the window and there's a huge house at the side. I guess we're already here. Lauren and I unbuckled our seatbelts and exit the car as Kendall and a guy which I assumed her boyfriend, welcome us with a warm smile.
"I'm glad you guys make it!" Kendall greeted, giving us a peck on the cheeks before nudging on my arm, "I knew you'd never disappoint me, Mila."
I chuckled, "I really want to attend a party like this even though I'm the worst party goer ever."
"Don't worry about it Mila, all of us became the worst party goer before we've become the best ones so no worries. Besides, you have one of the best party goer right beside you." Kendall winked, referring to Lauren who's currently standing beside me with her green eyes roaming around.
"I guess you really prepared for this, huh?" The green eyed girl spoke before meeting Kendall's gaze.
"Ofcourse! Like I said to my bestfriend," Kendall wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "It will be a fun party. Memorable one!"
"Where's Selena?" Lauren asked.
"Hanging out with Jake."
"I see."
"Your face looks familiar to me." Kendall's boyfriend suddenly speak with his eyes darted on me, making my eyebrows to furrowed.
I saw in the corner of my eyes that Lauren's looking at me with raised eyebrow but I completely ignore her and focus my attention to this guy instead, "Really? Have we met before?"
"You are...Shawnies girlfriend for real-real, right? Cause I saw you two being too touchy."
Oh no.
I suddenly gulped pretty hard after I heard what he just said. When...did he see us? I mean, Shawn and I are trying to act casual and formal in front of everybody. Before I could even say anything, I felt Lauren's arm around my waist, pulling me even more closer to her, "Shawn and Camila are nothing. She's my wife and she's mine only. End of conversation."
Kendall also wrapped her arm around her boyfriend before she speak, "Babe, that's Camila Cabello, Lauren's wife."
"But I know what I saw. Besides, Shawn told me-"
What happened next surprise the hell out of me. Lauren suddenly grabbed the collar of his shirt, making him stop in the mid of his sentence, "Listen to me, you cunt! Whatever that impotent jerk told you was nothing but a lie! Camila's mine, not Shawn's!"
Lauren's suddenly off behavior literally caught me off guard. What the hell happened to her? Is that the effect of making her drink 10 cups of coffees or maybe is it because of the stunt I've pulled on her a while ago? Whatever it is, I don't understand why she's acting like this. I know we're in a deal but acting like this is too much considering we're nothing but a deal buddies who used each other for the sake of our own benefits.
"Lauren, stop!" I tried to take off Lauren's arm away but she's way too stronger than I am.
"Lo!" Kendall slap Lauren's hand away, causing a break of tension between Lauren and Kendall's boyfriend.
"Why are you so mad, Bro? I'm just asking."
"Asking?! Well, I don't care if you are! Your stupid question pissed me off!"
Kendall purposely cough to cut off the tension that build around us for the second time, "Can we please chill out a little bit, people?"
I hold Lauren's arm tightly in case she do something violently towards this poor guy.
"Stupid." I heard Lauren mumbled, still glaring sharply at him. Kendall let her boyfriend walk away first before she meet my gaze, "Camila, enjoy the party, okay? Try to have some fun."
"I will. Thanks again for inviting us over, Kendall." I said.
"No worries, anything for my favorite cou-"
Lauren suddenly cut Kendall off, "-We're not a couple!"
Kendall and I chuckled at how bitter the green eyed girl sounds. I don't know if she's not in the mood, she's jealous, or she's just straight up asshole who loves picking up a fight, "Whatever you say, Jelly ace. Suit yourselves, okay? Adios!" Then Kendall started to walk away, leaving me and Lauren all alone.
"Care to explain what was that?" I asked immediately, letting her arm go.
"I don't need to explain anything to you! You're not even my girlfriend."
"Even so, you shouldn't acted like that towards him. He's just asking-"
"-Yeah right, asking! Why are you out there flirting with him and letting other people to see it?!"
I took a sighed before I speak, "Look, I don't want to argue with you about this. Privacy, remember? Whatever I do, it's my own business, not yours." Then I started to walk away because this conversation will leads to nothing. One angry person plus one person starting to get pissed is not a good combination.
Lauren suddenly grab my arm, making me stop from walking, "I don't want you to go near him ever again, do you understand me?! I don't want to share you with anyone else! What's mine is mine!"
I turn around to meet Lauren's gaze with a furrowed eyebrows. I don't like the way she's addressing this. I mean, the way she talked to me is like I'm a fucking object she can control, like a puppet! I get it, I owe her a huge amount of money and we're in a deal but that doesn't mean she can control me and whatever I want to do.
"No." I firmly spoke, pulling my arm harshly away from her.
"I'm not really asking, Camila! It's an order!"
And I snap.
"Who are you to tell me that?! Shawn and I are in a REAL relationship so what if we kiss and be touchy? We can't help it, I can't help it because I love him! While you and I...we're nothing, Lauren! So stop acting like you're my girlfriend as well cause no, you're not!" I pointed my finger on her, "I'm not your fucking object! I'm not!" Then I started to walk away when Lauren suddenly speak again.
"I know we're nothing, Camila." I stop from walking but I didn't bother to turn my back to face her because I'm mad as well.
"It's just that...I'm jealous. I'm jealous and you know why. I know you're not that numb not to know what I mean."
I remain silent, not able to say any words. I heard a series of footsteps approaching my direction. It was Lauren who's now walking inside Kendall's house.
And just like that, my thoughts started to mess with my head. It's not like my feelings are being stirred up, no because I'm sure what I feel towards Shawn. It's just that, I'm just wondering if she mean it or not.
***
In the sea of strangers dancing around at Moby Rich's Yoko Ono, I can't find Lauren anywhere. Actually, I've been looking for her for the past 1 hour but I failed to find her so I give up. I guess I'm just going to enjoy this party all by myself. And so, I dance around, moving my body to the beat. I don't know if I'm doing an awkward dance moves or not. The important thing is, I'm enjoying.
"Camila!" I heard someone called my name. Due to the loud music and dim lights around, I failed to recognize the voice so I instead roam my eyes around until I met Selena and Kendall's eyes.
"Hi!" I greeted them with a small smile written on my lips.
"You're all by yourself?" Selena asked, a little bit surprise to see no Lauren around me. There's a glass of liquor in their hand and bottle of whiskey on Selena's free hand.
"Yeah, can't find Lauren."
"I'm so sorry, Mila. Lauren's always like that when she's jealous. Nowhere to be found." - Kendall
"Wait! She's...what?" Selena chuckled.
"Jealous." -Kendall
"So...she's really serious about it?" I asked, confused. I don't believe her words, that's why.
Kendall chuckled, "Don't tell me you don't believe it too?"
"I don't." Selena and I answered at the same time.
"If you don't trust her words, look into her eyes. You'll see the truth in there." Kendall smiled, "I'll leave you two for now. Allen's quite messy without me. Adios, Bitches!"
"Bye, Keny." -Selena
As soon as Kendall vanished from our eyesight, Selena hand over the bottle of whiskey to me in which I gladly accepted.
"So, Camila..." Selena started as she drink the liquor from her glass, making it empty. "Is it true that you and Mendes are dating?"
I nodd my head in response, "We are."
"How long?"
"Days."
"Oh," Selena chuckled, "Be careful about him. I mean, not that I'm bad mouthing him to you but he actually dumped Camila Althea over a text message while you two are dating."
"I...thought he broke up with her before we started dating."
"Nope, WHILE you two are dating." Selena emphasize the word while that got me thinking. Why did he lied to me about small things like that?
My thoughts about Shawn suddenly interrupt when Selena suddenly drag me in the center of the dance floor, "Let's dance, Camila! That's my favorite song playing." Selena giggled who's obviously drunk already.
And so, with a bottle of whiskey in my hand, Selena and I dance at Guns N' Roses' Sweet Child O' Mine. We're both dancing awkwardly yet so carefree while drinking the bottle of whiskey until I felt the "Highness" feeling of being drunk after drinking the whiskey continuously. Nonsense talking, the surroundings around me started to spin yet it was so fun. We kept dancing until a pair of arms wrapped around our shoulders.
"You drunk puppies who kept dancing, come on." It was Taylor who's now dragging us to somewhere I don't know. And perks of being drunk, Selena and I showered Taylor a kiss on the cheeks until our ass landed on the couch where my eyes met Lauren's.
I'm still mad at her so I didn't bother to speak to her and just close my eyes instead.
"Is she drunk?" I heard Lauren asked.
"What do you think?" -Taylor
"Camila's still sober when I left her. Next time, remind me to never let Sely go anywhere near Camila. Look, she influenced Camila and ended up being drunk just like her." - Kendall
"I'll take her home, I guess." I open my eyes as soon as I heard what Lauren just said.
"No!" I spoke groggily, "I...I don't want to-" I didn't finish what I'm saying when Lauren carry me in bridal style, allowing me to smell her Vanilla scent.
"Shut up, you're more drunk than I am!"
"B-b-but, I-I still want to dance and drink." I tried to reach Selena's hand who's now sleeping peacefully on the couch.
"Karla Camila Cabello Estrabao, you're already wasted and I'm taking you home! You're so messy when you're drunk, my god!"
The headache I'm feeling keeps growing to the point where I feel like I'm gonna throw up anytime soon. I close my eyes and rest my head against Lauren's shoulder, praying to god that I won't throw up cause it's very embarrassing.
I heard the car door clicked. The next thing I know, I'm already sitting in the car with Lauren putting my seatbelt on. I open my eyes and Lauren's already making her way towards the driver's seat.
And again, the whole drive was silent except for the radio playing around. I rest my head against the car window and the coldness that I currently feel doesn't help my situation.
"L-Lauren." I reach for her arm, nudging it slightly.
"Hmm?"
"I'm...I-I need to throw up."
"What?"
"I need to throw up." I repeated myself.
"What?! No, no, no, not in my car. Hold on!" I can sense the panic in her voice so I tried my best to hold on a bit longer. Hold on Camila. Hold on. Don't throw up here.
I felt the passenger door open as Lauren unbuckled my seatbelt and hurriedly carry me as she run in the middle of empty space. She put me down and there, I throw up almost everything that I ate and drink today.
Lauren pat my back gently as I continue to throw up.
"Next time, don't drink too much if you can't handle it. What happened to the girl who doesn't drink?" Lauren hand over her handkerchief to me in which I took and wipe away the residue at the edge of my lips.
"Yeah, I'll remember that."
"Wait for me here."
Lauren walk towards her car so I focus on my eyes in front of me instead and I was surprise to see the view in front. I didn't notice until now that we were on the cliff where you can see the full view of the City of Manhattan. It was beautiful especially I'm currently standing just above the moon and it's hundred thousand bright stars.
"Here, this might help." I look over my shoulder, only to find Lauren handing over a cup of coffee to me with a blanket and pillow in between her arm.
"Thanks," I smiled timidly as I take a sip of the coffee to wake my senses up.
Lauren put down the blanket and pillow before she slack off and shift her green eyes on me, "Please," Lauren pat the space next to her so I take a seat next to her.
"About what happened earlier, I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Let's just...forget about it." I dismissed the topic with my eyes fixed in front of me to avoid any awkwardness. If you don't trust her words, look into her eyes. You'll see the truth in there. Kendall's words suddenly crossed my mind that's why I don't want to look Lauren especially her green eyes.
"Do you believe me if I say that I want you?"
I chuckled awkwardly, "You're drunk."
"Don't you know that the drunk ones are the one who's telling the truth?"
"You're just messing me around because I've pulled a stunt on you awhile ago."
"I'm telling the truth, Camila. I guess I've already broke my own rules."
I furrowed my eyebrows before I shift my eyes on her. Just like what Kendall told me, my brown orbs finally meet her dazzling green eyes. I can't be wrong, I can see the sincerity in it. She's serious!
"Will you love me as well, Camila?"
My throat started to dry up and my tongue feels like it got tangled up that I can't even say anything. My heart started to beat erratically under her intense stare.
What are you actually trying to do, Lauren?
"Your silence perfectly tell me no. But even so, it still won't stop me from loving you, Camila." My eyes glued on her green orbs while my body froze at the moment. I don't know what's happening to me or what the hell is she doing to me but it's working.
Slowly, a devilish smirk formed on her lips as she leaned closer to me and whisper against my lips, "You believe me, did you?"
And that exact words are enough to break the freeze that my body and my mind are under. And that's when I realized that she's really messing me around and I fall for it again, like the usual.
"Jerk!" I slap her arm before I drink my coffee, causing Lauren to laugh.
"But seriously, I'm sorry. What I said to you earlier at the party...I really mean it."
"Why?"
"Why?" Lauren scoff, "Figure out yourself, Moron!"
I simply rolled my eyes on her, "You know what, we pretty much knew each other for a week and yet, I haven't really got a chance to know you better except I know that we're both Cuban and we're both from Miami, Florida."
"Really?? No shit?"
"Yeah. I know because your mom told me about it when we had a dinner with them."
"Well, you probably know much about me. My life was...pretty much a disaster to sum it all up. But how about you? Why are you here in New York?"
"My Mom wants me to have a better education."
We continued our Get to know each other conversation and the longer we talked about everything in life, the more interesting things I learned about Lauren. Like, we both spend our whole day in Tumblr and Twitter. We both liked reading some books although Lauren is not reading anything as of the moment since she've lost interest. We're also both a big fan of One Direction and The 1975. What's more fascinating for me is when we both go to the same 1D concert in the same freakin' place in Miami and we didn't even know each other yet. Ofcourse, though we had alot in common, there are also the things that we're opposite of such as: She loves American Horror Stories while I'm not since I don't like horror movies. Like, it's a big no, no!
"Let's do some Q&A. I'll ask you one question and you'll do the same to me."
"I'll do it but ONLY IF, there's no personal questions included."
"Alright, alright, I'll go first." Lauren cleared her throat but I hold her arm before she could start asking me a question.
"Hold on, let's listen to some music to make the vibe more relaxing." I slipped my hand through my pocket to get my phone.
"With what? With your oldies songs again?"
I scroll through my playlist, searching for my favorite song. "You really have a poor taste in music. Bless you."
There it is.
[Make it with You by Bread started to play 🎶🎶]
"Me? Wow! Excuse your grandma taste of music!"
"Alright, alright, enough. Just shoot your question."
"Have you touch yourself?" Lauren asked, making me to choked on my coffee.
"Lauren!" I yelled at her while coughing, "I said no personal questions!"
"What?" The green eyed girl chuckled, "It will be fun. Come on, Camila. I promise, I'll also share my dirts with you. Besides, isn't it fun?"
I quickly shook my head, "No, it's not!"
"It's your chance to ask me the questions you're dying to ask."
"Can I proceed to my question already?"
"Not until you answer my question."
"This is so embarrassing." I buried my face in the palm of my hands before I speak again with my cheeks flushed in red, "Yes, several times already."
"Wow," I heard Lauren giggled. The kind of giggled that has a malice, "you've actually turn me on, Camila. I find it so," I remove my hands from my face, only to see Lauren biting her lower lips while looking at me, "sexy." My cheeks flushed even more at her...well, I don't even know if she's complimenting me or teasing me. Lucky for me, the surroundings is a little bit dark so I'm safe and she won't see how red my cheeks are.
I cleared my throat to regain my composure. I've always been curious about this matter, I guess this is my chance to cure my own curiosity, "What does it feel to have a dick?"
"It feels great!" Lauren chuckled, "I never get to experience the feeling of having a cramps and the bleeding thingy..."
"Menstruation."
"Yes! Yes, that! But the bad side of it is that, I can't wear mini skirts cause I don't want my balls to show up and say hi to people, you know?" I crack a small laugh, making the green eyed girl laugh as well.
"I can literally imagine that!"
"See? That looks awful. Also, what I don't like having a dick is that everytime I'm cold, my boxer literally blowing up and it gets so hard. But hey, I'm proud to say that my dick is-"
"-Okay, okay, stop giving me a complete details about your pet." I cut her off from going further on that topic cause it literally makes my whole body shivers.
"Alright, my turn. Who's your first kiss?"
"Really?" I asked with raised eyebrow.
"Just answer the question." She said impatiently.
"It's you, dumbass!"
"And what did you feel when I kissed you?"
"Disgust." I giggled as Lauren playfully rolled her eyes on me, "I don't know cause I'm drunk that night and you took advantage of it.
"What's your ideal first kiss then?"
"Lauren, this is your second question already."
"So? It's a follow up question. There are no rules regarding that so.."
I shook my head and proceed in answering her question instead, "My ideal first kiss is..." I shift my eyes up in the sky with a small smile plastered on my lips as I imagine how it goes just like what I've read in the books, "...we're in the middle of nowhere. It's just us, the stars, the moon, and the silence. Then he will look me in the eyes lovingly then slowly, he will lean in and kiss my lips for the very first time under the moon and the stars."
"You're such a hopeless romantic."
"I do."I chuckled, "And for me, true love is when you found someone who will love you at your worst, darkest, and ugliest times. A person who will never leave you no matter what. A person who will always find a reason to stay, a reason to fight, and a reason to love you every single day of their life. When you found that person, happily ever after follows."
[Yellow by Cold play is playing on the background 🎶🎶]
Lauren and I locked eyes for a moment before she stand up from her seat, offering her hand to me. "You know what, let's go home. It's getting late already."
"I agree." I chuckle as I accepted her hand as Lauren help me get back on my feet.
"I'll see you in the car." I took my phone and started to walk away.
"Camz!" Lauren called out, making me stop from my tracks. I turn around with a small smile plastered on my lips at the sound of my nickname that smoothly comes out from her lips, "What did you just call me?"
Lauren walk towards my direction and stop when we're only inches away from each other, "I know I ruined your first kiss. I was a dick and I'm so sorry. I know I'm not the "He" whom your picturing to share your first kiss with. But there's one thing that I can do to make it up to you at least." I felt my heart beating louder against my chest when Lauren cupped my cheeks and look straight in my eyes for a moment. It's as if her eyes are telling me that I was her everything.
And at this very moment, I've lost. Not just my mind when I gaze through her green eyes that gives me a warm feeling but I even lost my self control. Slowly, as the moon gets brighter up in the sky, Lauren leaned in and kiss my lips passionately.
[Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow 🎶🎶]
This kiss...it was so different from the kiss we used to shared before. This time, it was soft, honest, and it gives me a warm feeling I've never felt with Shawn. And for the very first time, the kiss under the moon and the stars makes me feel somehow complete and happy. Genuinely happy.
And before I even know it,
I'm already kissing her back...