"I told myself I was through"
It's been four months since Jimi and I have gotten engaged. We are thinking about getting married next May. We have most of our year planned out and May would be the best time to have the wedding because it is right before our summer tour would start.
We have been doing shows at fairs and festivals throughout the summer. Right now it is the end of July so we are in the middle of all of it. Aubree loves being on the road and loves the attention she gets while we're on a tour bus. She basically runs the show.
Aubree is seven months old. She can sit up by herself and roll over on her blanket when she sees something that she likes. She also has a tooth popping through and is really crabby all the time. Her favorite thing right now is the chew toys that have the gel that you freeze. The frozen toys seem to help so we try to always have them stocked.
Jimi and I have baby proofed the apartment because Aubree is just about to start crawling. She gets in the crawling stance, but hasn't quite gotten the hang of it yet.
Mark on the other hand, hasn't seen her since she was three months old. Last time we saw him, I gave him a choice, to be in Aubree's life or not. I haven't heard from him since then. I went to see Melissa the other day. Her specialty is family courts and deals with a wide range of things such as divorce and custody. She said she would serve Mark papers to petition his parental rights once I talk to him. I told her I would do it because I think it should come from me, but first I want to talk to him to make sure that he hasn't all of a sudden decided to be a father.
It took me several days to finally get a hold of him. He said he would meet me for lunch at a casual restaurant at 12:30. I'm leaving Aubree with Jimi. He doesn't know that I'm meeting with Mark. I'm hoping that Mark will tell me he's done and will sign the papers. Then I can get the adoption process started for Jimi and surprise him. Melissa said she would be the witness for us if he agrees to sign them.
It's a little after 12:00 and Jimi is playing with Aubree in the living room while I got ready to go. I walked out of the bedroom wearing a pair of jean shorts and a mint green tank top. I grabbed a pair of silver sandals to go with. I walked into the living room to say bye to them.
"I'm going to go meet Melissa" I said and Jimi sat up. I wasn't completely lying to him because Melissa was meeting us there at 1:15.
"Okay. Have fun" he said. I crouched down and kissed him.
"I love you" I said.
"I love you too" he said with a smile.
"I love you too baby girl" I said and kissed the top of Aubree's head.
"I'll be back in a little while" I said.
"Have fun" Jimi said.
I grabbed my purse and car keys and headed out the door. I hated lying to Jimi, but I don't want to get his hopes up if Mark decides to change his mind. I know how much he loves Aubree and I know it would crush him if Mark decides not to sign the papers.
I made it to the car and took in a deep breath. I started the car and headed to the restaurant. I pulled in the parking lot and walked up to the doors. Mark was sitting on a bench in front of the hostess stand. Surprisingly, he was there before me. I walked up to him and he stood up. We didn't say anything.
"Booth or a table?" he asked.
"Booth please" I said and he walked to an open booth. We sat down across from each other.
"Where's the baby?" he asked and picked up the menu.
"With Jimi" I said.
"He offered to babysit?" he asked surprised and looked up at me.
"Something like that" I said with a straight face and continued looking at my menu.
I decided on what I wanted and set the menu down. Mark set his menu down and looked at me.
The inside of the restaurant was pretty warm and I had my hair down. I dug out a hair tie from my purse and pulled my hair into a ponytail. Mark watched me.
"So, who's the guy?" he asked. I looked at him confused.
"What?" I asked.
"The ring" he said and gestured towards my hand. My eyes were wide.
"Are you engaged?" he asked.
"Yeah, I am" I said quietly and looked down at the table.
"Who is he?" he asked with no expression on his face. I was a little afraid of answering this question. Jimi was one of Mark's best friends and I don't know how he would react if I told him it was Jimi.
"It doesn't matter" I said. The waiter came back at just the right time to take our orders. After he left, things got awkward again.
"It's Jimi isn't it?" he asked quietly. I froze.
"Um...yeah...it is" I finally said just above a whisper. He looked down and nodded.
"Are you mad?" I asked.
"No... it's not really my place to be mad anymore. We're not married. I knew you would find someone else. I can't have a say in who you decide to be in a relationship with" he said. I'm surprised he's taking this so well and being an adult about it. I was waiting for him to explode to be honest. We sat there in complete silence until our food came.
"So what did you want to talk about?" he asked and took a bite. Is he really that stupid? The only reason I am even still in contact with him is because of Aubree.
"The same thing I always talk to you about every time we meet" I said and he looked clueless.
"Our daughter" I said in an angry tone.
"What about her?" he asked.
"You haven't seen her in over four months. Do you want to be in her life?" I asked seriously.
"I've given you over four months to figure it out" I added. He was silent for a minute.
"I never really saw myself being a parent the way you did" he started.
"I never wanted kids. I never saw that in my future" he said.
"Well, things changed" I said.
"Yeah, and I was hoping that my mind would change too once it became a reality, but it didn't. I don't see myself as the baby's father. I know it sounds selfish, but I really don't want to be a father. I never did. I know I can't be the father that you want me to be and I know that I would do more harm than good" he said.
"I don't really know how to ask you this without sounding like a bitch, but if I would get papers to sign your parental rights away, would you sign them?" I asked in the nicest way possible.
He took in a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, if you would want me to" he said.
"So, I sort of planned ahead and invited Melissa to join us. She should be here any minute actually" I said.
"She's bringing the papers and you want me to sign them?" he asked in more of a statement than a question.
"Yeah, if you're sure you want to sign them" I said not trying to pressure him.
"I'll sign them" he said and I nodded.
A few minutes later, Melissa joined us at the table.
"I was really hoping I would see that sweet little baby of yours" she said cheerfully.
"She's at home with Jimi, probably napping" I said with a smile.
"So did you guys talk?" she asked.
"Yes we talked. I'll sign the papers if you have them" Mark said.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"You don't have to sign them today. You can take them home, take them to your lawyer to read and then sign them if you want" Melissa said.
"No, it's fine. I don't need a lawyer. I'll sign them today" he said.
"You do understand that you are forfeiting all of your parental rights. That means under the court of law you are no longer Aubree's father. You have no say in anything and can't petition for custody in the future" she said.
"I understand" Mark said.
Melissa pulled the papers out of her bag and set them on the table. Mark grabbed them and she handed him a pen. He skimmed the papers and flipped to the last page.
"Do I owe child support or anything?" he asked.
I shook my head no. "You wouldn't owe Karen or Aubree anything" Melissa said and he nodded.
He picked up the pen and signed where he needed to. When he was done signing, he handed Melissa the papers and pen. Melissa signed on the witness line.
"Alright Mark, everything is taken care of" Melissa said.
The waiter came back with the bill.
"I'll get it" he said quietly.
"You don't have to" I said.
"It's fine" he said and put his credit card in the book.
"Jimi's going to adopt the baby, isn't he?" he asked.
"Yeah" I said quietly.
"He's always wanted kids, so it will be good" he said trying to sound sincere. The waiter came back with his card and he signed the receipt and stood up.
"Goodbye Karen" he said.
"Goodbye Mark" I said and watched him walk away.
"That was awkward" Melissa said with a giggle.
"You're telling me. You're aren't the one who had to ask him to give up his parental rights" I said.
"True" she said.
"So, when am I going to see that little girl of yours?" she asked.
"You can see her today if you want" I said.
"Let's go! I love babies. I don't have to be back at my office until 2:30" she said excitedly.
We walked out of the restaurant. I got in my car and Melissa followed me back to the apartment.
We pulled in the parking lot and got out of our cars.
"So, Jimi doesn't know about me meeting with Mark today" I said.
"Where does he think you are?" she asked as we made our way up.
"He thinks that I had lunch with you. I don't want him to know about Mark signing the papers yet. I want to surprise him" I said.
"That's adorable. Do you still want me to get started on Jimi's stuff for Aubree?" she asked.
"Yes please" I said and she nodded.
I unlocked the door and walked in. Jimi was on the couch watching TV and the baby monitor was next to him.
"Hey babe" I said and he turned around.
"Hey Melissa" he said with a smile.
"Hey Jimi" she said.
"How long has Aubree been asleep?" I asked.
"About two hours. She went down right after you left. She should be waking up soon" he said and just as he said that, we heard her squawking in the monitor.
"Told you" he said.
"I'll go get her" I said.
I walked in her room and she was sitting up in her crib.
"Hey baby girl" I said cheerfully. I picked her up and took her to the changing table to change her diaper.
"There is someone here to see you Aubs" I said. She was in a good mood and all smiley.
When I was done, I picked her up and walked out to the living room by Melissa and Jimi.
"Hey Aubree" Melissa said with a smile and held her arms out.
Aubree flapped her arms and was making all kinds of noises. Melissa took her and bounced her around.
"She looks so much like you" she said.
"That's what I said" Jimi chimed in.
"She looks more and more like her everyday" he added and I smiled.
"You are going to have all the boys after you when you're older. Yes you are" she said in a high pitched baby voice and tickled Aubree's stomach.
"I think Jimi would have every boy's head that would even come near her on a platter" I said.
"I could see that" Melissa said with a laugh.
"You bet I would" Jimi said and we laughed.
Melissa stayed for about fifteen more minutes before she had to get back to work. Aubree loved her.
"How was lunch?" he asked. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Jimi can finally be Aubree's father. It took me everything I had not to blurt it out right then and there.
"It was great" I said.
"How was Aubree?" I asked.
"Good" he said.
We hung out at home for a little while. Aubree is now figuring out how playing with toys doesn't mean just kicking them with her feet. She has figured out how to hold them now.
Around 5:30, Jimi brought up dinner.
"You pick. What do you want for dinner?" he asked.
"I could go for pizza" I said.
"Of course, what's new?" he said with a chuckle.
"I'll order it" he said.
"Aubree's almost out of diapers, could you run to the store and pick some up for her and then you could pick the pizza up on the way. Then we wouldn't have to pay for delivery" I suggested, trying to get him out of the house. I knew exactly how I wanted to tell him about being able to finally adopt Aubree and I didn't want to wait any longer. He grabbed his wallet and keys, then left.
I put Aubree in her bouncer and got started. I went into the closet and grabbed all of the craft stuff I had. I had a bunch of streamers and decorations left from Phillip's surprise birthday party back in March which also included a poster board. I took the board out into the kitchen and set it down on the table. I wrote,
Will You Be My Daddy?
Really big on the poster and decorated it. I took it in Aubree's room and set it down on her changing table.
I knew Jimi was going to be home soon, so I grabbed Aubree and took her in her room. I set her down on the floor and handed her, her favorite stuffed animal. I wanted to be in her room when Jimi came home. When he walks in I want to be standing in the middle of the room, holding Aubree and the poster.
About five or so minutes later, I heard Jimi walk in the door. I heard him rustling around in the kitchen.
"Let's do this Aubs. He's going to be so excited" I whispered and picked her up. I grabbed the poster and held it and waited for Jimi to come in here.
"Babe, I'm back with pizza and diapers" he called.
"We're in here" I replied. I heard him walk down the hall and turned the corner to Aubree's room. He stopped walking when he saw us standing there. He looked at the poster and the smile grew on his face.
"Are you serious?" he asked excitedly.
"Yeah, he signed the papers" I said quietly with a smile. He walked closer and reached for Aubree.
"When?" he asked. He couldn't wipe that smile off his face even if he tried.
"This afternoon at lunch" I said.
"You were with..." then he put the pieces together.
"You got lunch with Melissa to witness Mark signing the papers" he said and I nodded. He moved Aubree to his hip and reached his arm out and wrapped it around me. He leaned down and kissed me.
"So, will you be her Daddy?" I asked with a smile.
"Of course I will" he said and kissed me again.
"Of course I will be your Daddy, baby girl" he said with a smile and kissed her forehead.
We walked out of Aubree's room and went back into the living room Jimi set her down on the floor.
"Let's see if we can get her to crawl" he said and brought the box of pizza and set in on the coffee table.
I sat on one end of the rug and Jimi sat on the other. Aubree was in the middle of us. I grabbed a piece of pizza and started eating it. Aubree got up in her crawling stance and started rocking back and forth.
"Crawl to Mama, baby girl" I said with a smile and she started laughing. I think she likes the pizza that I have in my hand. Jimi got out the camera and started videotaping her. I think she is really going to do it. Then she started crawling towards me. I set my half eaten piece of pizza on the coffee table and she made it to my lap.
"Good job baby" I said excitedly and set her in my lap. I kissed her cheek. This is definitely a proud mama moment.
"Good job Aubree!" Jimi said excitedly.
"Crawl to Daddy Aubs" I said with a smile and looked at Jimi. He had a huge smile plastered across his face too.
I set her back down on the floor and she got in her crawling stance again. It took her a few minutes, but when Jimi starting making silly faces at her, she started laughing and crawled to him.
She made it to Jimi and crawled on his lap. He set the camera down and adjusted her in his lap so she was sitting down.
Jimi looked up at me and smiled.
"Good job baby, you crawled to Daddy" I said excitedly.
After a few minutes of Aubree crawling back and forth between us, we decided to move to the couch and eat our pizza. Jimi put Aubree in her bouncer and she played with her toys while we ate.
"How does it feel?" I asked, referring to the previous events in Aubree's bedroom.
"I'm about as happy as I was the day you said you'd marry me" he said with a smile.
I smiled back and leaned over and kissed him.
"I'm happy that she will finally get to have a father" I said.
"Me too" he said and kissed me again.