ACT 1 — SCENE 8
SHE SAYS.
IT'S A coincidence really, that Seojung happens to end up in the same bookstore as Hwayoung this afternoon. Seojung doesn't see the girl right away. It takes her several aisles, several books that she picks up from shelves only to put them back again, before she finally notices the familiar braid of jet black hair. It's in the science-fiction section when Seojung spots Hwayoung.
It's been a while since they've really spoken. They used to bond over their love for novels back when she and Jimin dated. Seojung remembered realizing Hwayoung wasn't what she had assumed her to be. She was so nice, nice enough that she actually wanted to be friends with Seojung. The things they talked about were so trivial; people at school, boys, what books sucked and what books shouldn't have sucked. Seojung admired Hwayoung, in a way. Something about the girl being older and being everything she apsired to be.
Never had Seojung imagined that things would come down to this: her looking at Hwayoung and only thinking of the things that caused more than one heartbreak. No matter how much Seojung wanted to, blaming it all on Hwayoung would be wrong. Wished that the girl was anything but kind, maybe then it'd be easy to look at her with disgust and distaste. Or maybe it's her, she's the one who's being too forgiving. She's letting both Hwayoung and Taehyung off the hook this easily, which she doesn't know is a good thing or a bad thing.
Hwayoung has a copy of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 in her hands when Seojung approaches her. She's too invested in reading the summary on the back of the book to notice Seojung's presence.
"A book about people burning books, what a classic. I'd recommend," Seojung comments. Hwayoung finally looks at her, a small smile slowly spreading across her pink lips. Her eyes had always been warm and inviting, it's no wonder that Taehyung fell for her.
"Sounds intriguing," Hwayoung says, but she puts the book back on the shelf. "but judging from recent circumstances, you're here to ask me about something, something that has to do with your brother and that friend of his."
Seojung gives her an embarrassed smile. "Do you mind?"
Hwayoung motions with her hands for her to ask away.
"How did Jimin find out? He never told me."
The girl sighs. "It was cliche, actually. I left my phone in one of the classrooms after the graduation ceremony and I told Jimin to get it for me. Taehyung texted me the exact same time Jimin found my phone, guess it looked kind of suspicious. I regret not changing my passcode after I told Jimin my old one. He read all of our texts, every single one of them."
Seojung nods, trying to process the information. Thinks about what kind of texts Taehyung used to send her. Everything about Hwayoung and Taehyung's relationship was scandalous but Seojung would be lying if she said that it wasn't the teensiest bit riveting. Must be exhilarating to have someone sending you I miss yous or I want to see yous every night. The secret they had going on, it was exciting––wrong but exciting. She doesn't know what Hwayoung (or Taehyung) had been thinking then. Did she really believe she could keep both boys without things falling apart?
"Do you love him?" Seojung asks.
"Of course I do. I can't not love Jimin. He's... He means a lot to me, and I really don't know why I let any of this happen."
A smile is prominent on the younger girl's face. Somehow knowing that Jimin's the first person that comes to mind when Hwayoung hears the word love is comforting. "I was talking about Taehyung."
"Oh. Taehyung? Yeah, he's nice. Cute. He's kind of refreshing, y'know? Obviously I like him a lot, I'll admit that, but I can't really say that I feel for him what I feel for your brother. It's just that he was there and he made me feel happy. . . I don't know. The point is I was selfish and stupid."
"Who started it?"
"Doesn't matter anymore, but I guess we both did. I tried to hold on to him after Jimin broke up with me, did you know that? And then I realized how dumb I was, and why I was chasing him instead of chasing Jimin. Taehyung ended things after Jimin found out, but I didn't want it to be that way. I kept trying to reason with him, told him that it's better now since we don't have anything in the way anymore, but he wouldn't give in. He's smart, like that."
There's a sadness that paints Hwayoung's features, a sadness that makes Seojung can't help but feel sorry for the older girl. Seojung doesn't know what else to say. It's as if the questions she has had circulating in her brain for the past weeks have suddenly vanished. Supposed that Hwayoung's right. It doesn't matter anymore.
"My selfishness and greed made me lose two of the most amazing guys I know. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that," Seojung can almost hear Hwayoung's heart break into two, "and a lesson for you, my dear Seojung, never tell your boyfriend your passcode if he's not the only one that's on your mind."
—
The next morning falls too soon.
A displeasing feeling settles in her stomach every time she remembers that Taehyung is going to be 205 miles away starting tomorrow. These past weeks had been the most time she's spent with Taehyung, and she doesn't want that to end so quickly when it barely started. This newfound friendship makes her heart flutter, puts a smile on her face before she falls asleep at night.
It gives her hope that this little something they have going on might just lead to something more. It's pointless, though, because it's not like she's the only girl Taehyung sees from time to time. Doesn't know who he meets, talks to whenever she's not around. Or who he texts. Where he goes to.
Everyone wants a little piece of kim Taehyung, she's accepted that since long ago. It's okay, she supposes. Having Taehyung all to herself for a few hours is better than nothing. And the little details she's learned about the boy with the rectangular smile makes up for all of that. Things like his favorite coffee, his addiction to overwatch, and his secret love for art and all things poetic.
Seojung is sad, really sad, even if the sky is clear and the sun is the brightest it's ever been. She's been walking around with grey clouds looming above her head, stuck in her very own upcoming storm of unreciprocated feelings.
Taehyung promised to meet her before he leaves for the airport. It's noon when the boy texts her, telling her to come outside because he's waiting. Seojung's in the middle of had just woken up an hour ago, had a late night last night because Taehyung had a lot of stories to tell over skype and of course she would never in a million years be the first one to hang up. She fell asleep with the distant memory of Taehyung's deep voice, his low chuckle whenever something funny comes up. He's the type of person who laughs before actually telling the funny part of the story, which for some people might be annoying and frustrtaing, but for Seojung, it's endearing. Everything about Taehyung is endearing.
Seojung doesn't really want to come down, she doesn't want to say goodbye because nights of binge-reading her favorite novels have told her how sad goodbyes can be. She does anyway. It's quite pathetic, she thinks, how she's been waiting for Taehyung to realize her feelings when she can't even bare the thought of him waiting for her outside of her house.
Taehyung is standing on her front porch when Seojung opens the front door. She walks over to him, ignoring his little smile when he realizes she's come out of the house.
"You're leaving now?" she asks, eyeing how dressed up he is compared to his usual casual attire.
"Yeah. Is it weird that... That I don't think I'm going to miss this place?"
"How so?"
"I don't know. It's just i've been here for all of my life and have gotten into enough shit, screwed over people, gotten screwed over by people. It's the same houses, same faces, same old town that never changes," Taehyung shrugs, "It's... tiring, if that makes sense. I just want to start over, y'know? Start fresh. I don't know if you've noticed, but i'm not exactly the best person out there, Seojung. I just filter myself around you."
"because i'm your ex-best friend's sister?"
"because i feel like i don't want you to think badly of me."
He feels like.
What does he feel for Seojung? Does he feel happy whenever she's around? Does his insides twist? Cheeks heat up? Does he get butterflies in his stomach like she does?
"You've been a really great company this summer, and i really, really wish my stupid ass hadn't ruined your brother's relationship. I'm sorry. Whatever Jimin's been telling you about me, he's probably right," Taehyung says. Seojong wishes she can wipe that sad look off his face.
"Stop it. I didn't plan on making this an emotional farewell."
Taehyung smiles, the more subtle and smaller kind compared to his usual boxy grins. All of the sudden Seojung has arms wrapped around her small body and she hopes that Taehyung doesn't feel how hard her heart is beating against his chest. The amount of times she's fantasized this before is embarrassing, and she wishes there's a possible way to make time stretch longer than it's supposed to. Or better yet, freeze it entirely.
She could get used to living like this, stuck in Taehyung's warm embrace. She wraps her arms around the boy, savoring his scent of vanilla and comfort while she has the chance. It's sad how this would be the first and last. He places a hand on the back of her head and smooths down her hair like this is natural. Like it's easy for him, like they've done this before, like small caring gestures such as this is what he wants to give her every second of the day.
It's Seojung who pulls away first, surprisingly. The longer she feels Taehyung's heartbeat against her own, the sooner she'll start going insane.
"I overheard what you and Jimin talked about a few days ago, but you probably knew that already."
"It could've gone worse." Taehyung shrugs. This is where she realizes that no, he hasn't give up, but he's become accustomed to accept what he can accept, and that's still better than nothing at all. "Is he not coming down?"
"I don't think so." Seojung looks back at her house, at the front door that stays shut as they've been speaking for the past minutes. She doesn't know if Jimin's even awake. Looking passed Taehyung's shoulder, she notices Taehyung's dad starting the car. "Wait, you're leaving now as in right now?"
"Unfortunately," Taehyung smiles apologetically and says nothing else.
Looks like he wants to say something, but his mouth stays shut and all he does is look at her. Continues to stare at her with those fucking eyes until she can't take it anymore. She looks at her shoes instead, trying to decipher what Taehyung is trying to say with his eyes. The boy heaves a sigh, and when Seojung finally looks up again, he's shaking his head.
"I'm gonna miss you," he says, and it's enough to cause an uproar in her chest.
Wishes that he said something like don't miss me too much instead, or i know you're gonna miss me, just anything but i'm gonna miss you. Putting the idea that he's going to think of her at some point in the future kills her. Maybe he's going to be walking to class one day and sees something that reminds him of her, a book or something, and he's suddenly thinking about the times they've spent together during the summer. And then he gets warm. He'll start smiling to himself and thinking why on earth had he never noticed how pretty she is. After he finishes his classes for the day, he'll give her call and it never occured to him that he would miss her voice this much.
It's either all of that or Taehyung's going to forget her the second his new life sweeps him off his feet. He's going to meet new people, make new friends, and she's going to become nothing but a past memory.
So much for finding a summer love.
"Me too. I mean—I'm gonna miss you too." tries to smile, but it's hard when the boy you've been pining on for so long is going to be away right after the two of you actually got close.
Seojung tries to tell herself that this is god doing his work, that he's doing her a favor. Taehyung will always be out of her league, and him going away means she'll finally have nothing to do but forget her pathetic crush.
Taehyung smiles, says his last goodbye and then suddenly he's running across the street to his car. He gets in the vehicle without looking back even once. The car pulls put of the driveway and it only takes a few blinks for the vehicle to disappear from the road.
Seojung walks back to the house feeling heavy and sad. It's quiet when she enters the house, but a hymn of the broken hearted might as well be playing in her ears. Decides that she's going to let herself think about him for the rest of the day.
Tomorrow's a whole different story.
a|n
ever felt that anything you write ends up turning out like shit? yeah that's me rn but i hope you guys liked it regardless. act one of the story has finally ended. buckle up for act two bubs, it's where things start to get really fun ;)
question: what are your thoughts on hwayoung?