"Right so we've agreed on the third of April? Stephy!" Susan whacked Stephy's hand away from the freshly baked brownies.
"But they're begging me, just look at them sitting there-" she stopped her over-dramatic act when Susan shot her another annoyed look.
"Yeah the third is perfect not to early and not to late" I nodded and she beamed at me.
"Great! That gives me four days to prepare, then we need-" she went on about some sort of root when an intense itching sensation ran up and down my bones.
"The hell?" I muttered as I tried shivering it off, but that only made it worse.
"Luce you okay? You're covered in goosebumps" Annie piped up as she glanced up from her laptop, she was writing down everything and saving it on the laptop.
"I don't know, I'm just really itchy all of a sudden" I shuddered as another itch broke loose this time it was more centered in my chest.
"Oh, dear are you getting an allergic reaction to something?" Susan asked and I shook my head.
"I don't think so"
'Lucille' my wolf spoke up her voice sounding bothered 'someone is trying to talk to me, I don't know who it is. It's like they're trying to communicate but somehow I'm blocking myself to do so.'
"My wolf says someone is trying to talk to us but somehow she's blocking them unknowingly" I explained to the others, but as I said it out loud the sensation floated away and I was left with a bit of tingles.
"It stopped" I reported to them.
"That's really strange, who do you think it is?" Stephy asked "You know that tried to talk to you" she explained.
"I don't know, everyone I know can mind-link me" I frowned.
"Maybe it's Jaxton's wolf trying to bond more?" Annie suggested and I shook my head.
"Why would I or something block that out then?"
"Maybe your wolf just isn't ready for it and did it without knowing?" Susan suggested.
"No, believe me my wolf wants this, this is someone else trying to communicate to us" I said softly.
"Well what are you going to do? Ignore it?" Stephy asked.
"No, I'm going to go talk to Jaxton maybe he can help and if it's trouble he'll know what to do" I said and pushed myself off the chair.
"Good idea" Susan smiled satisfied. I nodded and walked out of the lounge and towards the wing where his office is located, I wasn't in such a hurry so I took my time walking down the hallway to the staircase. Admiring the art works all over the walls and the polished wooden floors. Light laughter and sharp squealing caught my attention and my eyes wandered off towards the white door that stood open ajar. Walking over I slowly pushed the door open and it swished open softly.
And the sight before me absolutely took my breath away, standing in the doorway I couldn't help but hold my breath and my heart couldn't help but swell with warmth. Jaxton was in the middle of a large room surrounded by children, he had a tiny toddler in his arms and he was busy blowing air onto his tummy and throwing him into the air. Each time the toddler left his hand he shrieked but as soon as Jaxton caught him he was giggling. After a few more tickles and throws he swapped him with another toddler and little brunette girl who was holding onto a brown teddy. She giggled when he started tickling her but he didn't throw her into the air assuming it's because she was a girl and she might be frightened.
"King Jaxton! Look here!" another boy came waddling over on his tiny toddler legs and he held up a piece of paper waving it around, he had a crayon in the other hand and so I assumed he was showing him a drawing.
"Wow Max this is a really good drawing, is that a super hero?" Jaxton asked and Max beamed up at him.
"It's you!" he chimed and Jaxton smiled.
"But the only super hero I know is five and he's standing in front of me" he pointed out and the boy giggled.
"He's really good with kids, always has been" a soft voice came from next to me, a slight shriek escaped me and I looked at the young woman next to me.
"They seem to adore him too" I added.
"He has this sort of magical touch, he was so happy when Vicky was expecting he couldn't stop talking about it, it's a shame what happened to him" she said again and my heart ached for him.
"Mommy!" the boy named Max called and he ran from Jaxton to us, or more to the woman next to me.
"Lucille?" Jaxton asked as he walked to me.
"Hi" I smiled at him.
"Hi, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I came to tell you something but it's not urgent, I don't want to interrupt" I smiled as the little eyes all kept glancing at him.
"Oh, no, you're not interrupting I'm always here at playtime, you know to play" he smiled.
"You're really good with kids, they adore you" I smiled and he looked over at his shoulder to look at the kids.
"Yeah, I adore them too, no doubt in that" he turned back to me and a look crossed his face. "Want to join us?" he asked and my heart stopped.
"Uh, no thanks I'm good" I forced the words out.
"Oh, come on" he smirked and grabbed my hand.
"I'd love to but I really need to get back to your mother, I'll see you later tonight, enjoy playtime and uhm I'll see you later. Yeah, later, good bye" I rambled and then fled away from him and all the tiny humans that seem to scare the shit out of me.
"Lucille!" he called but I just increased my speed, rounding a corner I nearly ran right into Jane, Jaxton's younger sister.
"Lucille! Slow down what are you running away from"
"Jaxton" I panted.
"Why? Is this some weird sexual predator-prey foreplay game?" she asked and I nearly choked on air.
"What! No! No! Why would you even think that! He wants me to join him and spend time with the kids" I nearly shouted at her.
"Oh, sorry I just assumed you, you guys like each other a lot- anyway are you afraid of kids?" she asked and my brain went into overdrive thinking of ways to avoid this question.
"You know your mother is looking for me and so is Stephy and you know how Stephy is, we'll continue this conversation later, yeah great bye" I slipped around her and ran all the way back to the lounge.
"Oh, Lucille you're just in time for dinner" Susan smiled as she walked into the dining room.
"What it's already dinner time?" I asked and she nodded.
"Did you talk to Jaxton?" she asked and I froze.
"Uh I couldn't find him, I'll talk to him after dinner" I said and she smiled believing me.
***
Jaxton was already in the bedroom when I entered and I turned around to yank the door open and run when the door was closed behind me. I could feel his presence right behind me, I could feel the warmth radiating off him and I could smell that minty smell.
"Lucille don't run please talk to me" his voice was soft and gentle and right then I knew. I knew that I would never be able to refuse this man, not when he's so gentle while he's angry. Slowly turning I nodded my head and he took hold of my hand, leading me to the bed he sat down and pulled me down next to him. We were sitting side by side resting against the head board.
"Jaxton I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out- I just- I'm just not comfortable with children. I don't know I get freaked out each time there's one around and I can't help it. It's like I'm afraid of them or it's more like I'm afraid of what I might do, I never had a good role model you know and I just. Kids make me feel helpless and I'm sorry" I just rambled it was like word-vomit there was no stopping it.
"Lucille look at me" he said softly and I did, slowly. "You are not your mother, don't ever think that for one second. You're not your parents, okay, and just because they were a shitty excuse for parents doesn't mean you're going to be like them. You're compassionate, kind, loving and you're just- you're going to be a good mother" he said and as he said all that he didn't break eye contact once.
How the hell did he know that? Was it that obvious? How?
"How did you know?" I asked softly.
"How did I know that you were afraid that you won't be a good mother just like yours or that you're afraid that you'll hurt the kids and they'll hate you like your mother? I just knew Lucille, it's been bothering you the entire time, I could just tell"
"Oh, but it's true I'm terrified that I'll turn out like my mother, deep down inside I dream of having kids with the man I love but then this darkness devours it like a monster and I'm left scared again" I whispered.
"Lucille yo-" he stopped and then got up, holding out his hand he smiled at me. "Come on, I want to go show you something" he said and I swallowed but took his hand nonetheless. He held onto it tightly as he lead me out of our bedroom and all the way to the other side of the building.
"We are we going?" I asked, it was dark in the halls, the only light-source was from the lights washing out of the little gaps between the doors and floors, from all the bedrooms.
"You'll see" he said, his voice light and I could see that beautiful smile on his face. I noticed we crossed the playroom of this afternoon and the library and the we stopped in front of a glass door.
"Are we going to the clinic?" I asked.
"This isn't just any clinic, come on Delilah should be on night shift" he opened the door and i followed, our hands still clasped together tightly and I couldn't get myself to look away from our fingers intertwined so delicately yet strongly.
"King Jaxton?" a woman's voice came from another doorway, the bright light behind her made me momentarily blink.
"Evening Delilah is Logan awake?" he asked and she chuckled.
"He's normally awake at this time, you can go see him if you want" she said and glanced at me, I grinned shyly and Jaxton squeezed my hand.
"Thank you" he nodded and then led me past Delilah through another doorway and then into a room, that was not quite dark but not light. It was like a evening outside with a full moon everything was light enough to see but it didn't bother you. When I focused more of what was in the room, I gasped. Rows and rows of sleeping cots were laid out in front of me.
"Jaxton what is this?"
"This Lucille is the nursery for the newborn babies in the pack, but I'm here to introduce you to Logan" he said and I froze.
"Are we going to pick up another woman's baby, is that even allowed?" I asked and he chuckled.
"Just come along" he lead me to the right corner and to the third one from the front, there we came to a stop and Jaxton slowly stuck his hands in the cot. Carefully he brought out a tiny baby wrapped in blue blankets.
"Lucille this is Logan, Logan this Lucille" Jaxton whispered and Logan gurgled while sticking his hands out to touch Jaxton.
"Lucille hold out your hands I'm going to give you the baby" he said and I took a step back.
"What?"
"Lucille come one you'll be fine, I promise" he looked at me and we held eye contact, and the atmosphere between us became electrified. His eyes were screaming at me to trust him and just like I said before I knew that there was no way I could ever refuse this man.
"Okay" I nodded and held out my hands and ever so softly he placed the baby in my arms, and a feeling I've never felt before washed over me. Like a massive wave at the beach this feeling built up and up and then with a roaring sensation crashed into my chest.
"This is amazing" I cooed at the baby and he looked at me.
"See you're a natural" Jaxton said, his deep voice calmed me even more.
"You're sure his mother won't mind?" I asked.
"Lucille he doesn't have mother, she died giving birth to him, but don't worry he's being adopted as we speak we're just busy handling the papers" he said and relieve washed over me.
"How long does he have to stay here then?" I asked.
"For a few more days" he said and suddenly his arms wrapped around my waist, I was so absorbed with the baby that I didn't even notice him move. Resting his head on my shoulder we both gazed down at the baby that was slowly drifting off to sleep.
"You're even more amazing than I thought" he whispered in my ear and it was at that second I felt that moment I've been dreaming about since I was a child. The feeling of having a family, Jaxton and by holding this baby made me feel like I finally had a true family.