Chapter One Hundred and Seven: Eyes Wide Open
When they landed on the island, Xaphile was relieved.
Even though it had been a good day, he felt more tired than usual, and he was also hungry.
"I'll return here tomorrow morning," Vordt said. "Make sure you're well-rested."
"Will do," he murmured, looking at his uncle with a nod. "Thanks again."
The man didn't respond, instead choosing to flap his wings and vanish into the sky. Once he was gone, Xaphile sighed, then turned and headed towards the lodge. It was when he was moving past the copse of trees that he heard voices and paused, ear flicking involuntarily.
"--nd that is none of your concern."
"You're quite wrong. It actually is my concern, because it concerns me. So talk, Octavius. Now."
Xaphile blinked, frowning when he recognized Sinmir's deep, rumbling voice.
"Who are you to demand anything from me?" Gus barked. "You may be the Lord of Adanac, but this is not your country, and we are not your subjects. You do not rule us. Forcing an answer out of me is not going to do you any good."
"Enough!" Sinmir snarled, and the sound of cracking wood split the air. "Talk! I'll not have you keeping secrets from us! We are all in this together! You and I are the eldest members of our party. It is our responsibility to take action when things go wrong as the adults in the group."
Xaphile blinked when Gus let out a sharp, harsh laugh.
"That is a very misguided observation," he scoffed. "We're not in anything together. You're only here because you forced your way in, and Ella, at the very least, listens to you. I'm just being strung around by the nose and taken advantage of. When I offer her advice, it's disregarded!"
"You've only yourself to blame for that."
"I beg your pardon?!"
"My words fall naught on deaf ears! Do not act as if you cannot hear what I am saying, you lout!"
Silence filled the air.
Xaphile stared at the ground with his gut knotted and the fur on his spine standing on end.
"Then, pray, tell," Gus said in an unbelievably cold tone. "How is it... that the lack of compassion for my thoughts, is my fault? What have I done that makes my ideals and views so worthless?"
"Do you want an honest answer?"
"Yes. I daresay I do."
"Then you'll have one," Sinmir growled. "First and foremost, you are dense when it comes to piecing together the hearts of the young. I have seen the way you treat Ella, and I have also seen the way you have treated Xaphile, Vrael, and even sweet Amelia on occasion. You are harsh."
"And I have reason," Gus countered. "It would seem that this journey has made everyone forget their places in life. Vrael, no matter how great of a lad he may be, is a fugitive. Amelia, loving and tender, is nothing more than a village healer with no right to address royalty so familiarly."
"What? Have you gone m--"
"I AM NOT FINISHED!" Gus roared, making Xaphile flinch. "Ella, my god daughter, is one of the four rulers that govern this country! She used to hold her position in the highest regard, a trait that was necessary to rule the way she must, and yet within only three months... she somehow lost her head because some... some... melodramatic, self-pitying bastard seduced her!"
Xaphile's jaw dropped and he covered his mouth, staring at the ground in stunned disbelief.
"Is that what you think he did?" Sinmir slowly asked. "You really think he seduced her?"
"Yes! That boy is nothing but trouble! Ever since I first found him, the stability holding everything together has begun to fall apart! He never should have left those woods!"
"You're a terrible man. Heartless... cruel. You don't deserve your place by his side. Or hers."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
"I BELIEVE YOU HEARD ME!" Sinmir bellowed. "They are young, Octavius, but as I'm sure you are very much aware, they make their own choices! And if you are so blinded by your own ideals that you cannot see the good those kids are doing for each other, then you are no different than the tyrannical King who rules your forsaken, twisted, corrupt little country!"
"How dare you?" Gus wheezed. "Comparing me to that... that monster!"
"I believe the comparison is accurate, Octavius," Sinmir chuckled. "Think about what you just said to me, and then tell me you aren't the same as him."
"In what way are we similar?!"
"For someone who relies on his eyes and ears for a living, you are inexcusably blind! You believe they shouldn't be around each other for their own benefit, as well as the benefit of everyone else, because they are all different from one another. Your King said the very same thing about interracial couples, did he not? And what did those ideals cause, hmm?"
A chilling silence filled the air.
"This... and that... are..."
"If you say that they're unrelated in nature," Sinmir quietly interrupted, "I will break your jaw, Gus. You are dense, that much is true, but you are most certainly not an idiot and I can see by the very look on your face that you have finally realized the similarities between your thoughts and his."
Dead silence filled the air.
"What did you hope to accomplish by talking to me?" Gus finally demanded. "Is it your desire to see me struggle with such things? Being compared to a ruthless murderer... you wound me."
"I merely wanted to find out the reason for your strange moods. The tenseness in you has been bothering everyone lately, and it has been worrying those who care for you. Now, tell me, what is it that is really troubling you? I know you have something you are not telling me."
"Fine," Gus hissed, voice coming out raspy. "Fine. I yield. If you must know, it is about... Phil and Ella. Their conversation about marriage. No matter what, it cannot happen."
"What? And why ever not?" Sinmir scoffed. "Surely you are still not holding his actions over his head!"
"Of course not! It was but an excuse to try and sway her!" Gus snapped. "She must not get close to that boy! It would place her in harm's way all over again!"
Xaphile had a bad feeling about where this was headed. He wanted to leave, to return to the lodge, but his legs felt frozen. He closed his eyes, remembering the night Vordt had told him he and Ella had been betrothed to each other on the same day of Chisago's demon attack.
He had read the truth in the book earlier that day, but he hadn't wanted to think that it was real because if what the book said was the truth, being around him put everyone in danger.
The King was power-mad, and based on what he was hearing... Gus likely knew the whole story, too. Which made sense. He had, after all, known who Xaphile's father was, and his brother was, after all, the captain of the guard, who'd been there during the attack.
If he thought about it, Gus's behavior towards him made perfect sense.
The reason he'd been so messed up and angry about Ella's declaration of possible marriage in the future... the reason he held a grudge towards Xaphile for being close to her... his attempts to keep them apart.
It all made perfect sense.
Gus hated him because his existence was a threat.
He had a flashback of his father's face looking down at him in cold disgust and cringed.
"Place... her in harm's way?" Sinmir lowly asked. "Are you trying to say Phil is a threat?"
"Not in the slightest," Gus grumbled. "It isn't him who is the threat, but the King."
"Well, that much is obvious, but I fail to see how--"
"Because you know nothing!" Gus interrupted. "We have deep ties to the Heseroph family, and although Ella does not know of it, those two were meant to be betrothed as children."
"W-what?"
Gus sighed audibly.
"What I am about to tell you is something that nobody must ever discover," he grumbled, speaking in a very serious tone. "I only know of it because I worked as an informant for Count Rochard when he was still alive. I have connections all over Aerika."
"You?" Sinmir demanded, speaking just as lowly. "You were trained in the art of espionage?"
"Indeed. It was a long time ago, though."
"Then, what is your reason for acting this way? What is it that troubles you so?"
"Long ago, the high king was told by one of his prophets that he and his family would be overthrown."
"By whom?"
"An interracial couple fated by the stars to unify Aerika. It is because of that very prophecy that many horrible laws were set in place, forbidding interracial marriages and segregating the races in every major city."
"What?" Sinmir breathed. "That cannot be so! Over something so... so... he did all that?!"
"Indeed," Gus grimly muttered, then let out a bitter laugh. "It was actually because of those very laws that Count Rochard wanted to stand against him for his tyranny, and, as fate would have it, to do that, he needed the help of faeries. I did not know the truth about Xaphile's origins when I first met him, but it all became clear to me on the night he mentioned his father's name."
"His father?"
"Yes. Olagrell."
"Explain."
"All I knew of Olagrell was that he was a king of some sort," Gus said in a faraway voice, "who occasionally ventured to Aerika from a distant land, and was in good relations with the Count. He and Ella's father had been meeting each other for years. I always thought it was odd."
"By Asriel!" Sinmir gasped, sounding shocked. "You don't mean... are you implying that--?!"
"I am. Count Rochard and Lord Olagrell had been planning for years to arrange a political-based interracial marriage between their children, and the same Oracle that made the prophecy about King Votrin's downfall informed him about it two years prior to the day of the meeting."
"Oh, my Gods..."
Xaphile's hair stood up and his eyes slowly widened. The world pitched, his knees started shaking, and he suddenly felt like he was going to throw up.
The book had been correct.
The attack on Chisago hadn't been Ella's fault.
"It was the reason for everything that befell us that day," Gus mourned, then hissed, "but you cannot speak a word of this to anyone. Nobody must know, especially Ella and Xaphile."
"I'm not planning on saying anything," Sinmir quietly informed him, "but if what you say is the truth, and they do end up falling in love with each other... personally, I say let it happen. If they are the ones who will overthrow the tyrant running this country, so be it."
"What?!" Gus snarled. "You should know now more than ever that he cannot get close to her unless he wishes to put her in harm's way! He must stay away from Ella!"
A chilling silence filled the air.
"No," he finally said. "I'm going to make sure he stays by her side after hearing all this."
"Are you mad?!"
"Not in the slightest. The full extent of the problems this country really has," he snorted, "is alarming. As the prince of a neighboring Kingdom, it troubles me greatly, and it would most certainly trouble my father enough to consider having a war council if he knew the extent of it."
"War council?!" Gus cried, sounding horrified.
"Indeed," Sinmir confirmed, "but instead of meddling, I'm simply going to make sure that Ella and Xaphile remain by each other's sides, and offer both of them proper guidance."
"Why?"
"Because no matter how worried you are for Ella's safety, you need to remember that Phil's a good kid, Gus. Based on what I've seen of him over time, I think he might be able to change things for the better, but first he needs to get himself in order and figure out what he really wants."
"If he or the Daael boy slip up after we leave," Gus said slowly, "all of us could be imprisoned or executed for treason. Phil and Ella both began having troubling nightmares on the way to Calcoon, and it could be a sign that the King knows they are together."
Xaphile's blood ran cold and he covered his mouth a second time.
"They haven't mentioned the nightmares since then, have they?"
"No, but that's likely because the magical barrier surrounding Calcoon is too strong to breach. I've made up my mind to keep a careful eye on everyone when we leave. If you notice any signs of troubling dreams, be discreet, but inquisitive. I am afraid, Sinmir... I am afraid for all of us."
"It is understandable," Sinmir muttered, "particularly when you consider Amelia's secret."
"What?!" Gus sharply asked. "What did you just say?"
"I know what she is, Octavius, and I have already spoken with her about it. She and Vrael are both under my protection. Nobody would dare to harm them if they take shelter beneath the crest of my house, and I can assure you, I plan on exerting my position a bit once we leave."
"So, you do plan to meddle in Aerika's political affairs."
"Nothing of the sort," Sinmir chuckled loudly. "I'm just here to guard a few kids to the best of my abilities."
"Eh? Truly?"
"Aye. Protecting a group of hapless adolescents may seem like a hassle, but I actually find it rather entertaining most of the time."
"Then you will go against my wishes and allow them to fraternize with each other?"
"Depends on whether or not you're prepared to come clean about letting a little girl blame herself for the downfall of an entire city her whole damn life," Sinmir callously shot back. "She became what she is today because nobody told her the truth, and if I must be honest... it might actually be too late for you to right this wrong. Telling her now would be dangerous, because she is a very, very vengeful young woman."
Gus looked like he wanted to say something nasty, but his expression broke.
Sank into something sad.
"I cannot counter your words," he muttered, "and I cannot place the blame for what happened that day on Xaphile's family, either. The fault lies not with him or even Ella... it lies with the King, but what I do not understand is... why? Why would you place her in harm's way when you know he does not want her? I can see plainly that he is still solely fixated on loving that girl who died!"
Xaphile lowered his eyes as a twang of sharp sorrow filled him, but, deep down, he had a sudden sinking feeling, and the reason for it was because Gus's words made him feel wrong in several ways.
He was, by no means, over Ella Richardson's death, but... there was a part of him that somehow knew things were changing.
The ember that had ignited within him two weeks and an eternity ago was still there, and that ember, whatever it really was, had frayed something between him and his first love, bringing with it a new kind of pain. A pain that he'd never before felt, but knew on instinct.
Pain that told him he was slowly, but surely, moving on.
The spark, with such warmth, proved he really was capable of letting Ella go.
And accepting it.
"Six months," Sinmir said softly. "Only six months have come and gone since the girl he loved died in his arms. When I first met him... his eyes held nothing. Cold and clear, with an empty glaze, as if he were a shell of a man."
Gus winced.
"I know. I know that what we did isn't worthy of his forgiveness."
"That's not the point I'm trying to make," Sinmir curtly told him. "When he returns, Gus... I want you to look at him. Look into his eyes and compare what you see now to what you saw then."
"Why?"
"Because he's changed. And he's only gotten so far because he had you, and Ella, and Vrael, and Amelia, and myself to pull him out of his anguish. If it hadn't been for this adventure of yours, he most likely wouldn't be recovering at all."
Another silence filled the air, but then...
"I will do as you say. I must speak with him about my little project soon, anyway."
"Oh, is it almost finished?"
"Aye," Gus sighed, "although I do not know if he would accept it knowing it's from me. Perhaps it would be best if you gave it to him."
"No. You made it. You give it. I want nothing to do with a falsehood such as that."
Xaphile didn't wait to hear more.
Knees knocking, he wobbled towards the lodge and let the voices fade away from his ears. He didn't know how to handle the implications of what he'd just heard, but he knew he had to keep his head clear and his emotions clearer. He and Ella still shared the mark.
If he wasn't careful, she would know everything.
And that would be a very, very bad thing indeed.
He stopped right in front of the entrance, listening to the voices on the other side. Ella and Amelia were conversing about some sort of fruit, and he couldn't hear Vrael. His ears drooped and he sagged a little, but then he cleared his thoughts and opened the door.
Amelia didn't look away from the pot she was using to prepare supper.
Ella, on the other hand, greeted him with a stoic nod.
When he nodded back, Vrael finally glanced up from the book he was reading.
"Welcome back, Phil," he greeted. "What'd you learn today?"
"Lots of interesting stuff about faery culture, including their laws and government," Xaphile mumbled, letting out a sigh. "I also read a book about Aerika's history. Didn't really realize how corrupt it was until today, but I guess the signs were always there."
Ella's eyes locked onto his immediately.
"This land is full of corruption and darkness," she curtly informed him. "It's one of the biggest reasons why we're going to be taking extra precautions once we leave Calcoon and head into the cities north of the Nimikan Border. We can't let people know what you are, Xaphile."
"I agree," he said simply, frowning slightly. "I was pretty disturbed by what I learned."
Ella's eyes flitted to his hair and she frowned.
"You should neaten your tresses. They are tangled and knotted."
"They are?" Xaphile asked, lifting a hand and touching his head; to his dismay, his hair was messy, most likely from the nap he'd taken earlier. "Oh..."
He peered around for something he could use on his hair, but since he didn't have a brush or even a comb, he reluctantly settled for finger combing. Ella snorted and her hard expression shifted into a slightly softer one. Without a word, she snatched her bag and dug around in it, retrieving the same brush she'd used on his hair a while back.
Amelia blinked at her in surprise when she stood up and walked over.
"Sit," she commanded, pointing at one of the cushions. "I'll neaten it for you, ya dumb ox."
He stared at her, raising an eyebrow at the insult, but her eyes gleamed and danced behind the taciturn expression keeping her face blank. He couldn't say no to that expression, so without a word, he did as she told him to, settling down on the cushion across from Amelia.
He felt the air stir behind him when Ella settled between his wings.
Foreign warmth washed over his spine in small waves when she moved, and just like that, the bristles were gently being dragged across his scalp. The sensation made his neck prickle and sent a wave of pleasure down his back in a wave. Tail fluffing, he closed his eyes and shivered.
"You must be tired," Ella quietly said. "This morning wasn't pleasant, but if you don't mind me asking, what... happened between you and your uncle after you left?"
Xaphile didn't open his eyes, but a small wash of warmth did come over him.
"He really wants to start fresh. He's still prickly about some things, but... he wants to trust me."
"So, he didn't... harm you?" Amelia tentatively asked. "No fighting? Yelling? Nothing at all?"
"No," he mumbled. "If anything, that fight probably drew the two of us closer. He did remove his mark, after all..."
"Speaking of marks," Vrael snorted, glancing at Ella's neck. "Doesn't his compliance mean that Ella no longer needs the second one you gave her? I don't think getting it removed again would be a problem, when all is said and done."
Ella's hand fell still and Xaphile blinked, realizing that his friend was actually correct.
Now that Vordt was no longer a threat, there wasn't any reason to keep the mark.
A pang of sadness came from behind him, making his shoulders tense slightly.
He sighed, shoulders slumping.
But that twinge of emotion, foreign as it was, made him do some serious thinking. Which was probably a good thing, since there were a few things that still needed to be addressed. Ella wanted to keep his mark on her body, and she also claimed to be in love with him.
He didn't know how to feel.
Because of that, he weighed his decision heavily, taking note of the benefits from each option.
If he chose to remove it, he could have the peace of knowing his feelings and thoughts were safe from prying eyes. He wouldn't have to worry about weird complications springing up. But he would also be back on the market for any random faery girl who wanted to have a fling.
On the other hand, if he kept it... he would be connected to Ella.
In mind, spirit, body, and heart, they would be joined. If dangerous situations arose in the future and either of them got into trouble, it would be a benefit to be able to connect and warn the other. Plus, during those increasingly frequent moments when words couldn't properly express to her what he was feeling, the ability to feel for herself might come in handy.
Same went for him.
After all, it was obvious that both of them were awkward about their feelings.
Mostly, though, she wanted this connection to him.
He could feel it.
He closed his eyes again and relaxed, coming to terms with his decision.
"That's very true," he said softly, "but I've decided not to remove the mark I gave her. At least, not just yet."
"Eh?!" Amelia squawked, looking at him in surprise. "Whatever do you mean? We originally came here to have your first mark removed! Wouldn't it defeat the purpose?"
"No, not now," Xaphile murmured, looking at her with a weak smile. "We originally came here to remove the mark that I forced on her. That mark was removed. The second one... it was wanted, and through it, I think we may have actually shared a very precious moment. So, I'll wait."
"It could be a very long time before we can come back," Amelia warned. "You might not have the chance until much later on, you know."
"I've made my choice," Xaphile murmured, looking away from her. "It really depends on whether or not Ella wishes to keep it from this point on."
When everyone glanced at her, the brush started up again, moving a little faster.
The tingle that swept through his body made his toes curl and he sighed, head tilting back.
"I-I have no qualms," she said in a small voice. "In fact, it has more benefits than anything."
Amelia looked uncertain, but Vrael merely shrugged and went back to reading.
"All right," she murmured, lowering her eyes. "Dinner will be ready shortly. It's potato and carrot stew tonight."
Silence descended upon the group after that, but Ella's brush had him prickling pleasantly all over. The sensation of having his hair brushed genuinely made him feel good, and before he could stop himself, he started purring. Ella and Amelia both jumped.
Vrael merely smirked at the pages of his book.
"Sorry," Xaphile groaned, fighting his intense urge to sprawl out and stretch. "I can't control when I do that."
He felt a soft hand touch the side of his neck, then weight pressed against his back. Warm breath washed over his left ear for a moment.
"Then don't," Ella whispered, speaking directly into his ear. "If you're happy, or feeling good, don't hide it. Because frankly, we'd rather see you purring than crying."
He thought about that, then nodded.
She wordlessly went back to brushing his hair, smiling when the sound escaped him.
Perhaps, purring wasn't so embarrassing after all.