After last week's events, Luke hasn't stopped talking about him being excited about seeing his band mates again, which was great, because at least he wasn't thinking about other things. He also said he was excited to write and even start playing again. Every time I went over to see him, which was pretty much every day I could, he was always so happy and bubbly and wanted to show me more lyrics in the process. It was fun seeing him like this.
The only thing that was bothering me in the back of my head was that, I wasn't really doing my homework anymore. I didn't have much time. I'd come home, eat, and then head over to the hospital to see Luke. I didn't have time for homework.
He hasn't texted me today, which is strange. He usually texts me things like "good morning lub you" or "have a good day at school (-:", but nothing was sent today. It felt weird. So I texted him first, asking him if he wanted me to come over after school today. He didn't reply until third period.
LUKE; [ only if you'd like darling ]
So, the 'darling' was normal, he's called me that plenty of times, but he usually always told me that he wants me to come over. He didn't sound like it this time.
This bugged me all throughout fourth period, why wouldn't he want me there? Is someone else visiting him? I don't know, but I'll find out after school, I guess. Hopefully I'm just reading into the text too much.
》》》》》
I was on the road to Canyon Ridge Hospital and I was constantly checking my phone to see if Luke texted me, but he hadn't the whole time. This was actually scaring me.
This is how he used to act when we first started becoming friends, before he really got better. If this means he's back to the way he was, my heart is going to drop. I never want Luke to feel that way again. If I could stop it, I would.
Before I knew it, I was parked in the parking lot and walking into the facility. The lady at the front desk nodded at me as I sat down; I was considered a regular here. I was given a sticker and chauffeured to Luke's room, where I was left alone again, at his door. I opened it, not expecting anything.
When I walked inside, Luke was at his table again, where he usually was. He was writing lyrics. But he was hunched over more than usual, his hair was a mess, and he looked skinnier than when I last saw him. He looked ill.
He finally turned around and he looked like he was forcing a smile.
His eyes were sunken in and the bags under his eyes were huge. His skin was paler than usual. Can this all of this happen to someone over night?
"Hey, Jas." He said, before getting up slowly and walking over to his bed. He sat down on it.
"Hi.. Luke. Are you alright?" I sat down next to him.
He kind of scooted away from me as if I was going to hurt him. At this point I was worried and also, a bit hurt at his actions.
"Why are you acting like this?" I asked, harsher than I meant to.
He mumbled something while fiddling with his fingers.
"What?"
"I said, what do you mean?" He said a bit louder. There was a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"I mean, you didn't text me much today, and you're so closed off. You won't even answer my question. Are you okay?"
He looked up at me and I hadn't noticed, but he was almost crying. He took a deep breath and another one after that. One minute he's annoyed, the next he's about to start crying.
"It's back. I didn't think it would come back but it's back." He struggled out.
Oh no. I was right.
"What is back?" I whispered.
I put my hand on his back and rubbed it, and he let me. He was still not breathing regularly. He sighed and started to speak again. I already knew sort of what he was going to say.
"I don't know how to describe it, it's what go- got me in here."
He wiped his nose and his eyes, so I got up to get him some tissues.
"You mean it's getting worse?" I asked while handing him the tissue box.
"Yeah."
"But, you were doing so well, what went wrong?"
"I don't know; you make me so happy, I don't know what went wrong, Jasmin I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Luke, don't apologize to me. I'm not mad, and I'm not disappointed either. This isn't your fault and I'm so proud of you for being so strong. You know that right?"
He nodded and started to cry harder, which made me want to cry as well. I scooted right next to him and hugged him from the side. He calmed down a little bit, but not enough. He turned his head to me, so that he could lay his head on me.
"Thank you." He whispered.
I nodded and kept rubbing his back. I picked my head up to look him in the eyes. They were the lightest blue, it was so pretty.
"Everything will be okay, I promise."
He nodded and kept looking me in the eyes. He leaned forward, and I mimicked his actions until we collided.
This was not my first kiss, and I don't think it was Luke's either. He moved with such confidence, he was a completely different person in this state. In his regular appearance, he was shy and very secluded as we all know, but now, he was completely open and almost demanding. Even though this wasn't the first time I've kissed someone, this was the first time I felt this way about it. I felt almost as if this was rehearsed or it was meant to be. It felt right. My only focus was on Luke's lips and his movements. Once I realized what exactly was happening, I became aware of my surroundings. I was no longer sitting up next to Luke on the edge of his bed. I was straddling him and his back was against the wall, while sitting on his bed. Both of my legs were on either side of his thighs and our hips were pressed against one another's. His hands were holding my back and my hands were on his chest. This is the closest I've been to Luke in our entire relationship and I loved this feeling. The feelings of being with Luke, both physically and mentally, made me want him closer and closer. Our bodies were moving in sync with each other and I could feel his hands moving up to my shoulder blades, and him putting pressure so that I was forced to be closer to him. Not that I didn't want to be. I moved my hands from his chest and put them in his hair instead, running my fingers through his long, messy hair. Our chests were touching now and I could feel his heartbeat. It was steady, and luckily, so was his breathing. Our lips had yet to separate, however I wasn't out of breath at all. But I pulled back.
He looked up at me with his sky blue eyes, and smiled. He was taking in my whole face, still smiling. I reached my hand up and stroked his cheek with my thumb, wiping off the remaining tears from just moments ago.
"I love you." He said.
He pulled me in for a hug and squeezed me.
"I love you, too." I replied.
We sat there for the remainder of the time; the only sound that was heard was our soft breathing. I don't know why, but I felt most comfortable here. But eventually, the inevitable happened, and the nurse, or whatever you want to call it, came in to tell me to leave.
I got up from my comfortable position and kissed Luke's lips one last time, until next time. He held my face there by putting his forefinger under my chin to hold it in place.
"Better?" I smiled.
"Way better." He smirked.
I walked out of the room and out the door of the hospital, and to my car. It was dark and chilly but I still felt warm and fuzzy inside, and it's all thanks to Luke. I hope he knows that I'm not only helping him, but he's been helping me too. I'm pretty much one hundred percent happier now, and it's all thanks to him.
》》》》》
I put down my bag in my room and pulled out my binder and a pencil. I had a lot of homework to do, and I wanted to get it done in time to see Luke again tonight.
"Jasmin?" My mom yelled from downstairs.
"Yeah?"
"Come down here please."
I put down my binder and pencil and walked downstairs, to see my mom standing with her hands on her hips. She had her phone in her hand as well, and when I was close enough, she showed me the screen. It was my grades.
I looked closer and it said I had a D in both Math and Science. Shit.
"What happened, Jasmin?" Mom said.
My heart rate sped up and my throat started to clench up. I shrugged at her words and looked at the floor, hoping she wasn't glaring at me.
"Is it because of that kid?" She asked, her tone getting louder.
"What 'kid'?" I looked up.
"The kid you're seeing at the hospital?"
I felt my eyes widen, and my mom nodded her head.
"You aren't going out anymore. Not until these grades come back up." She locked her phone and put it in her pocket.
"Mom, that's not the reas-"
"I don't want to hear it Jasmin! TWO D's? Unacceptable!"
She was starting to shout now; I could tell she was pretty mad.
I didn't know it had gotten this bad. I mean, I knew that I slipped a little bit but not this much. I can't let Luke find out, that's for sure.
"Okay." I said.
I hadn't noticed, but I was crying. I walked back upstairs and picked up my phone, which had a text from Luke. Great.
LUKE; [ hiii baby ]
I texted him back saying that I couldn't talk, and that I couldn't come over today either. I hoped that he didn't ask why, because if he knows that I have two D's, he'll think it's his fault. When it's not, it's mine.
LUKE; [ aw why? )-: i'm gonna miss you ]
ME; [ just some stuff. i'll miss you too ]
LUKE; [ don't keep stuff from me please )-: tell meee ]
I took a deep breath and pondered on whether to tell him or not. Might as well. If we're gonna be together, I want a healthy relationship too.
ME; [ my grades are pretty bad luke ]
LUKE; [ how bad? ]
ME; [ i'm not allowed to see you anymore, that bad ]
I don't even know why I'm crying. It's not like it's anyone's fault but me. I didn't catch it in time.
LUKE; [ jas no ]
LUKE; [ tell them you'll study with me ]
LUKE; [ i have to see you jasmin ]
The bright side to this is that my parents said nothing about skyping him. I can't touch him, but I get to hear and see him.
ME; [ 7 tonight, skype? ]
I have about two hours to do homework if he says yes.
LUKE; [ of course love. see you then ]
LUKE; [ i love you ]
ME; [ i love you too ]
》》》
this chapter was a rollercoaster jfc
leave that awesome feedback pls