Chapter 20 - What's Said Is Never Promised
Kim's POV
Spencer had just left minutes ago and I was slightly grateful he didn't stay longer only because I had invited Asher over and haven't made those cookies I promised I'd make. It's not like I was hiding from Spencer that I was having Asher over, I just didn't mention it because he'd ask what we'd be doing and then I'd be obliged to tell the truth and tell him that I simply just want to talk to Asher about some things. Naturally, he'd ask what things, and I didn't want to tell him about the boundaries talk with Asher.
Anyways, the moment Spencer's car turned out of the driveway I ran away from the window and to the kitchen because in the next five or so minutes Asher would expectedly drop by. In the kitchen I cleared the counter tops and placed the pot and mugs from our hot chocolate making from earlier into the dishwasher. I then grabbed the bowls and measuring tools I'd need. Just as I was looking for the stash of chocolate and peanut butter chips that I hid away in the Lazy Suzy the front door open and I knew it just had to be Asher.
"Hey Kimmy, I'm here!" He shouts, closing the door behind him.
"I'm in the kitchen!" I shout back, placing the rest of the ingredient on the counter. Asher walks in the room, his heavy footstep echoing the large empty house. I scoop and pour two cups of flour in a large bowl before he walks in. He smiles, walking around the island and hugging me from behind. I tensed up, holding my grip on the measuring up, "Thanks for making me cookies. I didn't think you actually would." He chuckles lightly, leaning against the counter next to me.
"I told you I would." I mutter, making sure I took out the baking powder and not the baking soda before using it. "I would have done it earlier but I got caught up in studying." I told him half honestly.
"Speaking of studying, do you want my help in physics?" He asks, looking over his shoulder and finding the package of chocolate chips. He opens the bag and takes a small handful.
"Thanks, but I think I'm ok. Spencer helped me out a little bit." I tell him, taking away the bag from him so he wouldn't eat them all. I would need all of them.
"Spencer was here earlier?" He questions, looking down at his hand and picking out chocolate.
"Mhm." I hum, nodding my head, "Can you get me the milk from the fridge?" I ask, nodding my head in the direction.
"You didn't want to wait for me to help you out?" He wonders, grabbing the gallon out of the fridge and sliding it across the counter to me. I shrugged my shoulders, reading over the next step of the ingredients, murmuring it to myself. This was the part when I had to melt half the bag of chocolate chips in a sauce pan. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" He wonders, now opening the peanut butter chip bag, avoiding looking at me just as I was now avoiding looking at him. I sigh, turning my back on him only because I had to pay attention to not burn the chocolate. "Wow, that serious, huh?"
"I'm afraid on how you'll take it." I say honestly, moving the spoon around the chocolate. I waited so it was fully melted before I could concentrate on the conversation. "I don't feel comfortable... No, I don't feel right being so close to you when Spencer is my boyfriend." I say vaguely, not even sure where I was going with this flow.
"You're going to have to clarify that for me." He says, a bit of confusion in his voice.
"It's just, last weekend, when we were sleeping together in my bed and you didn't care that you walked half naked in front of me, or all the times when you just kept telling me you love me and kissing and hugging me and all that, I just, you know, I just felt guilty." I confessed, hoping that sounded right. I set the melted chocolate aside and started to mix together in the other bowl butter, sugar and eggs.
"Why-"
"Because I'm dating Spencer." I interrupt him. "I felt guilty because I thought if Spencer was there seeing all that I knew he'd be mad at me and think something was going on. I know it's just that we're comfortable around each other and none of it is done for romance, but I just feel like you act like my boyfriend too much. I don't want Spencer to get the wrong idea. Last weekend too Nick was even saying the same thing and he just got me thinking and I hadn't realized it that way because it's been going for so long that it just feels normal. I don't know if I'm making any sense to you what so ever, but it's the reason why I've just been a little distant. Not because you did something wrong, but I think we just need to grow up, you know? How are we going to be able to be with other people if people think we're the couple? Your girlfriends and my boyfriends, whoever we end up dating, they're going to feel intimidated and feel the need to compete and try hard to win the other one over and if that were me on the other side of things I would hate it. It's not meant to hurt you or sound mean, I can assure it's the opposite that's why it's been hard for me to figure out what to say to you so I don't sound so cruel-"
"You're rambling... as usual." Asher interrupts like he always does when I'm on a spiel. I gawk at him, really annoyed that he just did that. "I always wonder what your record would be if you held your breath because when you go on and on like that you never take a breath." He adds, like it was the most important thing in the world. He literally just interrupted me for no good reason.
"Thirty four seconds, like it matters though." I mutter, mixing all the ingredients together. To be honest it looked like a bowl of turd.
It was silent for a few moments. Up to the time until I got to the point where I could just roll and drop the cookie on the baking sheet. I turned to pre-heat the oven and I still couldn't believe he wasn't going to either apologize for interrupting me or comment about my lecture. "So what you're telling me is there's do-s and don't-s in our friendship now?" He realizes, knitting his bushy brown eyebrows together. When I took a quick look up to him I realized that today his blue eyes didn't seem so bright today, they looked more pale or a shade of blue grey.
"Boundaries." I correct, dropping cookies on the baking sheet and moving them around easily on the buttery pan.
He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. See, I knew he wouldn't be open minded and I knew he'd take it the wrong way! "Has Spencer even said anything yet?" He asks, sounding a bit annoyed.
"Not yet, but I don't want him to have to." I explain to him.
"What kind of boundaries are you thinking about?" He asks mockingly.
"There's only, like, a few to be honest, but if you're too annoyed right now I don't want them to push you over the edge and have you storming out of here." I tell him, shaking my head.
"Try me." He challenges, narrowing his eyes, "I'm calm." He lies.
I find it hard to believe he's calm about all this. "An easy one. No sleeping in my bed." I throw out to him. Dropping the last cookie that could fit on the sheet.
He looks at me like I'm insane, "What's that... I bet he doesn't even know!" He argues, shrugging his shoulders up as he speaks.
"He doesn't have to know Asher! It's just wrong." I defend, looking at him upset. "You still don't get it, do you?" I mutter, sliding the cookie tray in the oven and setting the timer on.
"All I know is ever since you got a boyfriend you want to change things, like you're so experienced in this field." He continues to argue.
"Well I know you have much more experience in this field than I do, but at least I want to do it the right way. It doesn't matter if he knows or doesn't know, it's wrong to go behind his back." I exclaim, turning back around and crossing my arms over my chest. "You may have not cared that when you were dating Tiffany or hooking up with her or whatever you want to call it, that you were still sleeping in the same bed as me and hugging me and kissing me and walking around with a towel to cover your bottom half. You may have not cared because you thought what she doesn't know won't kill her, but that's not being faithful, that's not how committed relationships work and I want a committed relationship. I actually want to have one with a guy I've liked for a long time and not some fling I could give two shits about that will last for the most of two months. I actually want to have a real relationship-"
"And here we go again." He mumbles, rubbing his hand down his face.
"And another thing!" I shout, "Stop interrupting me. It's simply rude!" I demand, I looked back down at the cookie batter. I didn't even want to make the damn cookies for him anymore. He didn't deserve them.
"So that's all you want me to stop doing? Stop sleeping in your bed, stop showing that I care and love you by showing my affection-"
"Stop thinking you have all control over me, stop coming over unannounced, and stop being half naked in front of my eyes!" I finish off with a huff.
"Looks who's interrupting now! And I can't come over now? What is this?" He exclaims, and now I see his true angry look.
"Because what if you just drop by and Spencer is here? Normal friends call and text that they're coming over or ask if they can come over." I explain.
"But we're not normal friends." He states, shaking his head. He closed his eyes, and I do the same, taking a deep breath. No, I guess we're not normal friends, but I guess we're going to have to get used to it. I needed to stop believing that Asher did all those things for me because he wanted to be with me. I needed to get over it and in order for that to happen sacrifices need to be made no matter how much they hurt. Asher turns around and starts walking out of the kitchen. I follow him toward the front door, watching him put on his shoes.
"Where are you going?" I sigh, putting my hands in my back pocket.
"I need to think about everything you just said. I can't hear another do-s and don't-s or boundary or whatever you're trying to get rid of in our friendship to make your relationship some perfect fantasy you have in your head." He judges, shrugging on his jacket and opening the door.
"Asher this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. You said you were going to try to keep an open mind!" I remind him, standing on the threshold as he jogs down the front steps.
"I would have never thought this is what you wanted to talk to me about. Maybe I'll see you in school. I don't know, that is if I can at least say hello to my best friend!" He bickers, walking away backwards to his car.
I scoff, shaking my head, "Now you're being over dramatic." I mention to him.
"Oh I am?" He snickers angrily, "I think you just might be." He says in his final retaliation before getting in his car. I shook my head, watching him drive away. My final thought as I slammed the door shut was I can't believe I worried to make these cookies for him and he didn't even bother to take them with him. Ridiculous!
*****
Asher's POV
I walked into math class a little bit late. It wasn't enough to worry, but Mr. Green gave me a frown when I jogged into his room right before he went to close the door.
"Alright class, listen up for a quick second," Mr. Green announced, getting the noisy class to pay attention to him. "Next week, we have a new student. Don't know her name, but she starts on Monday and she'll be joining our class. So treat her with respect and be nice," she emphasized, and I swear he looked at me for the briefest second.
We all mumbled an okay agreement before he told us to take out our homework. I made my way to the back of the room where Ty and I sat. I briefly greeted him before taking my seat next to him, "I hope the new girl is a hottie," Ty snickers.
I smirk at his words, mentally chuckling as I looked for my homework surprisingly I actually did it and only because last night I was trying to clear my head of some things. A couple of rows ahead of me sat Kate. I could distinguish it was her calling my name out. I nodded my head to her, giving her my attention. She looks back to Mr. Green who's walking through the rows checking off homework. She spots the empty desk next to me and sit in it for now.
"She talked to you last night, didn't she?" Kate mumbles.
I swear Kate can read anyone's emotions like an x-Ray can look at your bones. She knows when something is off at the slightest. "Yeah." I mumble, looking for Mr. Green. He was still a row away.
"Yeah, she says you didn't take it all too well." She confesses with a small frown.
"Of course I fucking didn't." I almost want to all but shout.
"Whoa, I hear swearing. What's going on? Ty wants in." Ty butts in, partly laying over my desk to hear our conversation.
"Butt out, you weren't invited into this conversation." Kate sassed. I smiled, looking back between Kate and Tyler. That's not like Kate at all to be bold and so forward. I didn't think she'd ever have guts to even say that to me, never mind Tyler who she doesn't even speak to.
"Whoa, but excuse me Ms. Sassy. Who said you can talk to me like that?" Tyler argues back, slightly amused himself.
"Since America is a free country and I have the right to say whatever I want, so back off." She smirks, waving her hand as a departing gesture.
"King, would you sit back in your seat and present your homework. Or do you not have it as usual?" Mr. Green interrupted, folding his hands patiently as he waited for Tyler.
I suppressed a laugh that wanted to escape. Tyler gave Kate a flirty wink before sliding back into his seat and giving Green some bullshit excuse as to why he didn't do his homework yet again. Of course Green never bought it.
"Morris, if you'd take your usual seat too, please. Can't have everyone switching seats on me now." Mr. Green said to Kate. I swear he was always so much nicer to the girls in the class. Maybe he's sexist or maybe, most likely he just hates Ty and I.
"Of course Mr. Green." Kate said politely, getting up from the desk. "Talk after class." She says before walking away.
"God I hope not." I whine to her. She ignores me, but I can see the small grin on her face from the angle I see of her sitting at her desk.
*****
Just like Kate promised she waited for me after class to talk. I wished greatly that she had forgotten the whole thing. I'm still seriously not in the mood to discuss it. I knew I never liked that Spencer dude from the start!
"What do you not understand?" She asks the moment we start walking in the crowded hallway.
"How about how she practically doesn't want me around because she's afraid that her boyfriend thinks she's cheating on him." I scoff, shaking my head. That's pathetic if you ask me!
"You don't see it in her point of view. And it's not that she afraid Spencer will think that. She just thinks that-"
"I know what she thinks. She doesn't want us competing or me being threat or intimidation. I just think its plain stupid. I'm just fucking annoyed how she's putting down boundaries." I complain, flipping the bird for fun to Dylan across the hall.
"Wow, Kim's right you do interrupt people when they have important stuff to say. You need to work on that." She comments, shaking her head disappointingly. Like I give a rat's ass. Honestly. "She's just trying to protect her relationship. Those boundaries aren't even that bad. To be honest it kind of questions me why you guys did that stuff. Like sleep in the same bed? Really? I never slept in the same bed with any guy." She defends, raising her eyebrow. "And you guys are always questionable on how close you too really are. Pretty sure you were nominated for 'class couple that never dated' for superlatives, but I knew Kim wouldn't be too comfortable with that. But you're nominated for attached at the hip so congrats at that." She babbles on. To tell you the truth I don't even think I was paying attention to half the things she was saying.
"But that's the kind of friends we are Kate. It's been like that for years. When I dated I didn't ask her to make those changes." I brought up.
She starts giggling, "Dating? That's what you want to call it?" She jokes, continuing to laugh.
"Whatever Kate." I mumble, rolling my eyes.
"I'm just saying you're definition of dating and everyone else is way different." She states in defense.
"Hey guys what did I miss? I feel hurt you guys ditched me back there." Tyler frowns, throwing one arm over my shoulder and the other around Kate's.
"It was intentional." Kate mumbles, not caring to shrug Tyler's arm off her.
"Ouch, that hurts." Tyler says, holding his hand up to his heart.
"Where in the imaginary heart?" Kate scoffs.
"Blondie, I didn't think you were this funny and witty. Why aren't we friends?" Tyler wonders.
"I can think of a few differences." She frowns looking up and down at him.
Tyler looks over at me, a wide smile across his face, "I like her. Why do you keep the good ones away from me?"
I roll my eyes and shake my head, "If it's alright with you two I'm heading into my business class. See ya later." I tell the two, clapping Ty on the back before walking into my class.
"Please don't leave me alone with him!" Kate begs, pouting her lower lip.
"Oh Blondie we're going to have so much fun together! Come on, I'll walk you to your next class." He offers, not taking no as an answer. He turn his head and winks at me, indicating he's doing and saying all this to spite her. For a while I can hear Kate whine down the hall but I eventually had to take my seat in business class and maybe even think clearly about what Kim and Kate have said to me in the past twenty four hours.
You see boys, here's the thing, one day your going to see the girl you like- or even love- holding hands with someone who took your chances that you blew. She won't notice you anymore because she's too busy spending all of her time with him, laughing at his stupid jokes, and it will burn. It will burn your heart to see her with another guy, it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on her face and realizing that you're not that reason anymore. Then it'll finally hit you. It was her. It was always her.
But you fucking blew it. So the question is now: what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let that guy walk off with your chances? Or are you going to win those chances back?
*****
When I was at my locker at the end of the day I thought about how quickly I needed to haul my ass to practice. I didn't want to be the last one there and have to stay an extra hour to tidy up the supplies closet. When I close my locker door and spin around quickly, about to run down to the locker room I almost ran over Kimmy.
"Jesus Christ, did you want me to run you over?" I gasp, almost colliding Kimmy with stuff in her hands.
"I brought you these." She offers, handing me the container, "You left before you could eat one."
I realized when I got home that I should have stuck around to at least eat some brownies. It was nice of her to have brought me some though, I didn't think she would have. Not after all the shouting from last night.
"Thanks." I mutter, taking the container from her.
"Why are you rushing to practice?" She wonders, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
"If I'm the last one there I have to clean out the supply closet." I tell her, moving around and walking quickly after remembering.
"Listen about yesterday, I know you're upset-"
"I'm angry not upset." I correct her, surprised she could keep up with me.
"Regardless, we need to finish that conversation. I understand your side of it, I just want you to understand my side. I don't want us to not be friends because of this. That's not why I told you." She mentions, falling slightly behind me.
"Look I know. I know you tried not hurting my feelings or get me angry. I just didn't think we'd have to change our friendship to accommodate your relationship." I said, running down the stairs.
"Asher it's for me." She states, "It's for me. I need this too."
"What do you mean you need this?" I scoff, standing outside the locker room doors.
She stares at me for a long moment, blankly, but something in her eyes told her she was in pain. Something she was just not ready to tell me yet, "Go to practice Asher. You wouldn't understand anyways." I rolled my eyes walking away from her.
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