Liam
The cry makes my heart stop for a moment. The sound so tortured and petrified that at first I have a hard time believing it was actually human. When it finally dawns on me that it's Caia's - she's the only one out there right now - I abandon closing my zipper and dash to the door.
I see her ahead running like mad from three of our half grown Rottweiler pups who are hot on her trail.
Uncaring that I don't have any shoes on at the moment I set after them yelling at the top of my lungs. From the corner of my eye I see someone else running after them too but I don't pay the tenuous shape any mind.
"BRUTUS! YONDA! RANGER!" I yell after the dogs "STAY!!" the basic command does its job and the dogs come to a complete standstill. But Caia continues, doesn't even look back to see if her pursuers obeyed, so I run past the dogs even faster than before. I catch the twitching in their bodies indicating that they are about to follow me. "Stay!" the sharp command have them freezing again.
Even though I can see that she's running as fast as she can, my legs are longer and I'm more fit so I soon gain on her.
"Caia!" as soon as my hand closes around her arm she screams bloody murder and start to struggle like a madman. "Caia!" I grab her hands that are clawing at my face, her nails leaving behind painful scratches.
I finally get her under control by pinning her arms to her sides and squeezing her to my chest. She still struggles in my grasp, her leg flailing wildly but to no avail. Then I see her eyes.
I have seen her scared before. I have seen her eyes fill with anxiousness and fear as I corner her somewhere. But that's nothing compared to what's in her eyes now. The wide terror-stricken eyes overflowing with tears strike an unforgiving blow to my midsection. Her deathly pale, wet face and her body trembling against me even as she thrash about makes me want to punch something in return. But it's the strangely vacant look in her eyes that strike a fear in me that I have never experienced before, not even in a fight.
"Oh Bambi..." the sorrowful fierceness of my whispered words makes the pitiful creature in my arms jerk and her eyes find mine.
Then she lets out another wail this one no less terrified but quieter and her knees give out under her. Her trembling intensifies and her breathing becomes choppy. I quickly follow her down onto the pavement.
"Caia?!" I yell in panic. She's trembling violently, her skin becomes cold and clammy, tears are still flowing freely. She curls into herself and begins rocking back and forth as small pathetic sounds leaves her mouth. I grab her shoulders and shake her when her breathing doesn't become better.
"Caia!" I shake her by her arms, trying to snap her out of it.
"Is she okay?" I turn sharply and at last identify the lanky figure from before. It's Lenny Shinner our resident dog caregiver's trainee. He has Brutus, Ranger and Yonda on leashes now but he's struggling to hold them back as they strain towards Caia. Yonda growl lowly and the rocking of the figure in my arms increase.
I tighten my arms, hindering her movements. "Get them away from here!" I yell at Lenny the fool. A distressed moan works its way up her throat and I start to gently rock her from side to side, which is quite a challenge since she's still going back and forth. Lenny turns to leave when I stop him. "Wait, hand me your phone."
"My phone?" I grind my teeth, striving for patience.
"Yes dumbass your phone. Give it to me and go!"
"I don't know man, it's brand new and..." see that mist rising from me? That's my patience evaporating.
"NOW!" he hastily produces a iPhone from his jeans, throw it to me and run, trying to drag the dogs with him and I silently vow to make him pay for every whimper that has left my sweet girl's mouth. I enter the number and hold it to my ear. It rings twice and then it's picked up, thank fuck.
"Doctor Samuel's office this is doct-" I interrupt before he finishes.
"Doc! Quit it, it's Liam! Something's wrong with Caia! She's awake but not responding, she's cold as ice but sweating and she can't breathe properly and-"
"Liam! Quiet boy and tell me what happened." I tell him everything I saw and heard and repeat her symptoms. "Doc, what do I do?" I plead desperately.
"Well, I'll tell you what you absolutely must not do and that is panic. Sounds like she's having a panic attack, and if you don't calm down you'll only make it worse so take a few deep breaths." I close my eyes and think about breathing as if I'm out running, deep and steadily, as the doc explains what to do. "Take her somewhere quiet. Be careful when handling her, no sudden or big movements and talk to her, ask her what she needs from you, it doesn't matter if she answers as long as you are the picture of calmness and clarity, your calmness will calm her. Try to get her to breath to a rhythm, count out loud to ten or something and try to keep her warm. Do what she asks, even if it means you have to back away. Ask if she takes medicine and text me, got it?"
"Got it." I hang up on him and carefully pick her slight form up. She whimpers a little more and hug her middle but she doesn't fight me and I praise myself lucky for that.
I carry her back towards the house where ma is standing in the doorway in loose yoga pants, a cream colored tank and braided hair.
Perfect, I think to myself with satisfaction.
"What happened?!" she erupts loudly.
"Shh, quiet ma, she's having some sort of panic attack so you need to practice some coolness. I'm taking her to your studio." Ma's eyes light with understanding and steps out of my way and follow close behind me to her yoga studio.
Some years ago ma became a little health obsessed and started doing all sorts of crazy shit and made me and dad do the same. And I mean the whole enchilada; tofu, herb tea , meditation, mud baths, spiritual ceremonies, all kinds of weird 'healthy' diets and much, much more. Luckily that only lasted for about a month then we where back to steaks, coffee and long hours in front of the TV. The only thing she stuck to was the meditation, yoga and scented candles but apparently dad and me bitched too much so she stopped making us do it. As a 'thank-you-for-not-making-me-go-through-anymore-torturous -positions-and-horrible-foods- that-was-never-meant-for-a-man-of-my-age-and-health' my dad converted our sun lounge into a yoga studio for ma where she could find her 'inner peace'. It was made in light colors, warm and sunny and I had to admit some of those candles smelled pretty nice. Also ma always put on some calming natural music so the studio was perfect for Bambi right now.
When we enter the room the smell of something fruity and the sound of wind and trees swaying greets us. I walk to the divan and carefully place my fragile burden. She immediately curl up again and I slowly sink down beside her. When she doesn't shy away from me I place my arms around her and begin rocking her like I did outside and try to soothe her with my voice.
"Hush now Bambi, everything's alright, you're gonna be alright. Shh..." I keep randomly whispering encouraging words to her. Keep telling her she's safe, that I'll never let anything happen to her and I praise her for doing so good even if she's really not. Eventually her breathing eases but the tears continues to fall although the occasional sob has turned to a continuous bout of grievous crying. Her shoulders shake lightly as they are bound to do when somebody is quietly weeping and I think some part of her mind is still trapped in whatever nightmare that brought on the panic attack.
She moves, brings her arms around me and clings like she's drowning in the ocean. I slowly release her with one arm and she hugs me tighter as if afraid that I'll let go. But I place my arm under her legs and lift her onto my lap. Then I lay down on the divan before hugging her firmly to my chest where she buries her face.
I don't know how long we are like this but eventually I feel confident enough to lift her head from my chest and look at her face.
It's still taut with grief and her eyes are still absent but no longer quite as terrified. They are red rimmed from all the crying, her face is pale and the tears have drawn lines down her cheeks. I was right, she's still caught up in her own personal hell.
"They're after me." She whispers.
I cup her cheek and stroke my thumb across the bone there, "Who's after you Bambi?"
She shakes her head and says "They're gonna kill me." Her lower lip wobbles and her eyes darken. I quickly press her face into my neck, holding her to me by the back of her head as I stroke her back comfortingly.
"Mommy... Daddy..." she moans like a lost child.
"Easy there Bambi. Nobody will get to you, they won't even come close. I'll never let them." I kiss the top of her hair and mutters into it "I swear."
And they won't. I don't care what she's afraid of. Who she's afraid of. All I know is if I ever get a shot at whoever hurt her, whoever made her frightened and withdrawn I'll make them pay.
Dearly.