Hey guys, I am so sorry I am so terrible with updating this story but it's just so precious to me and I really don't want to update any chapter that I don't think is good enough haha I've rewritten this chapter like ten different times....I just cannot decide how I want it to go...but I think I've found the direction I plan to take it.
SO! Hold on to your devices (mobile, laptop, tablet...whichever you're reading on lol) because I'm about to take this for a really big loop! I hope you like the idea I finally stuck with and MAYBE if I'm feeling froggy haha I'll upload some of the chapter ideas I had whenever I'm finished with the book??? If you all would want to see how I planned for it to go in different ways?
Okie dokie! I hope you like this chapter even though it is probably a little short haha
Enjoy~
__________________________________________________
Waking up, I stretched groaned slightly and reached above my head for my glasses that set on my shelved headboard. Shifting slowly, I sat up with a yawn while I rubbed my eye then putting my glasses on. The sun filtered through the long hanging blinds in my apartment room, warming the atmosphere however it was a deceiving warmth. Autumn had come already and it was getting colder, yet the warmth still radiated throughout my room especially when I felt a small shift in the mattress. Looking to the side, following the movement I found the back of the body lying beside me. Long hair flowed down the expanse of the pillow, around her back and soft snores were heard as her shoulder rose and fell. I sat there and watched her for a moment, thoughts filling my head, swirling my brain almost maddeningly, yet none of them comprehensible.
Eggs scrambled in the frying pan as I glanced over at the calendar.
"Six years, huh?" I pondered quietly to myself, thoughts finally coming to rest on one solid subject. No matter the length of time, I will always remember. I will feel it as deeply as I felt it that day, that moment.
My thoughts were caught off guard by a sudden weight on my back, snapping me back into reality. "Six years since what, baby?" A soft voice spoke gently into my ear as the body pressed closer to me, arms wrapped around my neck from behind.
Shrugging her off slightly, I shook my head then scraped the eggs off onto the plate beside the stove. "Nothing, Mizuki-kun." I replied casually then sat at the table with my breakfast, "There is an extra plate I prepared for you, I hope you are hungry." My voice clearly sounded distant and thoughtful as I said this, but this is how I've been for a while now, perhaps she won't ask the questions she usual does.
Mizuki was silent for a long moment until she grabbed her plate and sat across from me, a troubled look on her face. Yes...she was going to ask-
"What's bothering you, Rei?" Her tone was so gentle and kind that it nearly caused me to erupt."You get this way a lot. I mean, you have always been quiet and reserved but you've been a lot more distant recently." She spoke calmly and I stood up abruptly without having realized until after I was out of my seat.
I couldn't see her face, nor did I want to, so I kept my head low as I took my plate and dumped it into the sink recklessly, "I'll be home later tonight. Stay safe today." My voice was calm but strained as I grabbed my coat and briefcase, narrowly escaping without having to reply to her.
Sighing in relief as I stood at the front door of our apartment, I felt guilt trailing into my heart but I quickly pushed it away and headed straight to the train.
Six years.
Six long years since I last saw her.
Six years since she told me she didn't want to remember...
(Y/N).
It hurt so bad and I can still feel the pain as if it were recent. I have forgotten most of what I had said to her, yet nothing of that day has left my memory....
"Please, (Y/N), just let me help you remember, don't walk away just yet. I know you're struggling but I promise it doesn't have to be this hard. I can-"
"No." Finally, came her broken response, my grip on her hand tightening as the reality of her words sunk into my heart.
I was at a loss, "Wh-What?" My voice was merely an incoherent mumble as I watched her shake her head and pull at her wrist that was locked in my fingers.
"I said, no, Rei. I'm done. I don't want to remember, okay? I'm tired of having this hanging over my head, feeling like I owe you something, some sort of closure. I don't. I don't even remember you, how can I owe you something if your memory isn't even there? I know you said you were a part of my life and I believe you, but I'm tired of trying to make myself remember. I just want to move on." (Y/n) explained calmly, calculatedly, as if she had already determined her answer way before I had spoken out to her moments ago. Finally prying her hand away from mine, (Y/N) wiped a tear that fell down her cheek. "I'm sorry." She muttered and began to walk away.
"Wait!" I cried once more and ran to her, all of my courage mustering up into one last stand as I grabbed her, pressing my lips to hers in what I knew would be the last kiss I would share with her. To my surprise, she did not turn away or respond in any other form of protest, but whenever I pulled away nothing was there. No remembrance of me, no light, no joy as there once had been...just a look of confusion.
Her last words have wounded me more than any other. They were words I never thought I'd hear her say in such a definitive way.
"Goodbye, Rei."
The train jolted to a stop, causing me to lose my balance suddenly, my hand just barely holding fast to the bar beside me. I caught my breath in a moment of rest and took in my surroundings. Stepping off the train, I tried to compose myself nonchalantly, "I must watch where I space out from now on." I muttered under my breath then brushed my hair out of my face, walking to my office from the station.
I am greeted by all my coworkers and fellow science researchers as I make my way to my personal office room. Setting my case down beside my wood desk I rest myself in my large leather chair and release a tensed breath I hadn't realized I'd holding.
"Six years..."
So much has changed since then. We've both graduated high school, moved on with our lives. I have not heard from her since the day she left, I know not what she does with her life now or who, if anyone, she is with. As for myself, I have grown about three inches since high school graduation- none since college- landed a fantastic job at a science institute after my practices during an internship in college. I think of all the changes that have occurred, all of the problems and obstacles I've faced in these long years since my last encounter with her, how things have altered my life. Glancing over my organized desk my eyes catch the picture setting nicely in the corner. Mizuki. It is an image of my current girlfriend and I standing by a railing, holding hands and smiling as brightly as the fireworks that are beside us. The picture is sweet, yet when I look at it, I notice something is off and I glanced down at the bottom drawer in my desk, pulling it open. Slowly I retrieve the picture resting against the end near the front and place it on my desk, tears coming to my eyes as I notice the vast difference immediately.
There is no love.
The picture in the frame is distant and cold while the one sitting before me on my desk brings back warmth and joy. (Y/N) and I sitting on the grass, watching the fireworks, her sitting between my legs, laughing at something we had found humorous as we watched the sky.
The picture she had so fondly reminisced on when she first came back to my house after the accident, the one she had cried over...
Suddenly my work phone rang, jolting me from my tears and making me sit up straight in my seat. Clearing my mind and throat, I picked up the phone, "Ryugazaki speaking."
"Hi darling, I was just wondering if you knew where the detergent went? I knew you had been reading the label last night while I was watching that home decor show, ya know the one that I really like and always get ideas from? Speaking of which, I was watching it after you left and I have the best idea for our wine glasses, but I'll just tell you when you get home tonight." Mizuki's voice came through the phone a million miles a minute as it usually did when she called me at work and I nodded absentmindedly as I looked at the picture of (Y/N) and me, my fingertips grazing over her beautiful smile, her shining (e/c) eyes. I missed the sound of her laughter, the feel of her kisses, the way she got embarrassed when she'd wake up in my arms after a long night of studying. They say time mends all wounds, and yet...
I missed her.
"But, whatever, it'll be easy to get done if we just stop by the store and grab a few things over the weekend." Mizuki had finally finished her one-sided conversation with me and I heard her sigh, "Anyway, the detergent?"
After a moment of long silence, I looked at my picture with Mizuki and said, "I think we should break up." My voice even and emotionless as it left my lips. "It's probably best that you aren't home when I get off of work. I'm sorry but I won't be there anyway." I added then began to hang up, bringing it back to my ear for a moment, "I'm sorry, Mizuki." Then finally hung up the receiver numbly. My gaze sat forward, fixated on my door, "I'm still in love with (y/n)."
After getting off of work, I went out begrudgingly to get a couple of drinks by myself because of the lingering guilt and pain that made me numb. For hours I sat there without any interaction except with my self-loathing and anguish until I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket and I took it out expecting to see Mizuki's number pop up yet to my surprise it was someone else. "Hello?" I answered curiously, stumbling slightly outside to be able to hear.
"Rei-chan! What's going on! It's been forever since we last talked! I don't like that...we've gotta hang out more often Mister. Workaholic!" Nagisa's cheerful nostalgic voice reverberated through my cell, making my cringe.
Sighing heavily as I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking my glasses off in the process. "Nagisa-kun...why on earth have you called me so late? It's like-" I glanced at my watch blindly without putting my glasses back on, "I don't know, twelve in the morning." I complained to him getting an old feeling rush over me as I heard myself say that.
Nagisa's loud laugh rang through the phone and he softened slightly, "Oh Rei-chan, just as strict and prudish as ever!"
"What?! I am not!" I retorted harshly just for him to continue.
"The reason I called is because Mako-chan and Har-chan are both coming home to see the Fall Festival and I thought you should come with me and we could have like a crazy reunion!" He suggested happily and my heart ached at the thought. I hadn't been home since college.
Hesitation filled my heart at the thought and I stammered slightly, "I-I don't Nagisa-kun...Iwatobi is a long way away from Osaka and I just don't know if I could get the days off to spend there and-"
"Hey! Stop with the excuses Mister! It's been over six years that we've seen Haru-chan and Mako-chan and its been at least four years since I've seen you. Now get your stuff together! You're coming even if I have to come all the way from Kyoto to get you myself!" Nagisa insisted with his serious voice causing my fight back to be useless.
"But- Nagisa-kun, I-"
"I'll see you there Rei-chan! I'm excited to see everyone again! Oh...and if I don't see you there, I'll come all the way there and kick your ass. Don't test me Ryugazaki, I've been training." He warned, his cheery childlike voice making his threat even more intimidating and after her hung up I was shocked to my core.
I couldn't go back. It was too hard, too hard to think that the last time I had been there (Y/n) told me goodbye. Thoughts swirled my mind about the pro's and con's about going and all them were more con's than pro's as I made my way through my front door, noticing the lights off and Mizuki's coat gone. "Oh yeah, I forgot I told her to leave." I whispered to myself dejectedly while walking to the bedroom still thinking of Nagisa's offer and all the bad situations I would get myself in if I went. I was fully convinced that it was a terrible idea....so I was astonished to find myself packed and on the train back home to Iwatobi.