A/N hope you guys like the chapter! I'm not sure if there's one more left or two! Shoutout to @wuttthi for the chapter help/ideas :)
Raising her forearm up, she wipes away at her tears. “I didn’t know what the feeling was at first, Harry, and now I know that it’s been you. It’s been you the whole fucking time. I swear it has been. I always get these indescribable butterflies in my stomach whenever I see you, when you smile, when you laugh, and most importantly, when you kiss me. You undeniably sweep me off my feet every time. When I’m with you I feel like nothing else matters in the world besides us. And I know it sounds so cliché but you seriously make me feel as if I’m the luckiest girl in the world and I love you so much for that, Harry.”
“Gosh, I probably sounded so mushy right now.”
He shakes his head at her while gently wiping underneath her slightly pink eyes with the pad of his thumbs. “You didn’t. If anything, you sounded completely genuine, as if the words were coming straight from your heart. Regardless if some of it was cliché. I wasn’t expecting for you say that you loved me, but it’s a great feeling to know you do. And as much as I want to say the same exact words, I can’t.”
His last words are like a freight train, increasing at a reckless speed and by the time her brain finally processes it, it’s too late, creating a collision. The words knock the wind out of her and the only words to barely exit from her parted lips is, “Oh.”
She goes to bow her head down in disappointment and his thumb tilts her chin up, forcing her to look into his bright green eyes. She senses the familiar feeling of her eyes faintly stinging the longer she looks at him and she tries her hardest to keep them locked in.
“But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, London,” he says. “Fuck. I care more about you than I do about myself. Everything I do ultimately comes to down to you and your happiness. Besides the guys and their girls, you matter more to me than you think. You’re the first thing on my mind when I awake each morning and you’re definitely the last when I go to sleep, which is why I don’t want to lie to you and say ‘I love you’ when I don’t necessarily mean it. I want to be able to say it and not have to second-guess myself. I’ve made that mistake way too many times in the past and I don’t want to make it with you.”
She nods her head slowly, in hopes of masking the distraught written all over her face. She’s still upset but she sees where he’s coming from. He was honest and that’s all that really matters. It would’ve been worse if he said ‘I love you’ and there was no type of genuineness to it. No one likes the idea of being lied too even if it’s intended to protect the feelings of them. It’s a violation of trust.
She fidgets with her fingers in her lap. “Is there a reason why you don’t fall in love so easily?”
His teeth tug at his bottom lip as his gaze shifts away from her and towards the wall behind her. “It’s…not that I’m incapable of loving someone. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened to the last person I loved happen to you.”
Granted, he does find himself loving her in the near future. However, his past haunts him the most. It’s embedded itself onto him, replaying back in his mind like a film that never has an ending. The thunderous sound of a gunshot fired. Her bloodcurdling scream ringing through his ears. The unidentified figuring running away in the distance.
Death doesn’t faze him. He would jump in front of a bullet in a heartbeat for London, regardless of how long he has known her and if something were ever to happen to her, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. The guilt and grief would kill him to an extremity day in and day out.
A soft knock echoes inside the room and both of their ears perk up at the sound. London looks up from her lap at her mom before faintly smiling. Her mother returns the gesture yet it almost looks relatively sympathetic. “Are you guys going to be coming down soon? We don’t want to be rude and eat without you guys.”
Harry curtly nods and gets from off the floor seconds later. His hand extends forward and London’s hand latches around his before standing up as well.
“Yeah, we’ll be done in a minute,” Harry says and Scarlett leaves them with a smile.
Slipping his hand inside of his pocket, Harry pulls the necklace out, holding it with ease. He had no other choice but to put it in his pocket naked, the box was too bulky. He holds both ends of the piece jewelry apart while inching closer to her with a small smile played upon his lips. “Turn around for me, please.”
Even though there’s a smile on his face, she knows that something is bothering him. Despite herself feeling quite dejected, his whole demeanor has changed drastically. Much more than hers did. She wishes he were more open with himself along with his feelings rather than being guarded twenty-four-seven.
He goes to place the necklace around her neck and soon she shivers from the coolness of the silver. It takes him a while to connect both of the ends together, since the pieces were so tiny compared to his huge thumbs.
Once he’s done, her delicate fingers glide over the bow pendent gently resting in the middle of her collarbones.
“Do you like it?” Harry asks, his warm breath fanning over her exposed neck due to the close proximity.
She looks at him through her mirror before smiling wholeheartedly. “Yes, Harry. I love it and it’s beautiful. I couldn’t of have asked for anything better.”
She happily turns around, wrapping her arms around his neck, before connecting her lips to his already pursed ones. She kissed him, his lips warm, soft, and intoxicating.
***
Grabbing the bottle of Jergens from off the top of her dresser, London plops down on her bed with Taco lying alongside her. She still can’t get over the fact that her parents waited to the last minute to announce to Harry and her that they were going to be having guests over for dinner. She really would’ve appreciated if they told her an hour in advance instead of thirty minutes. Luckily, she was able to stitch together a nice outfit consisting of a flowy polka dotted cream blouse and a maroon skater skirt in a short amount of time. She skipped wearing makeup. As for her hair, she took out her braid; finger combing her hair out and then parting it down the middle.
After rubbing in the rest of the lotion onto her legs, she puts on a pair of black knee high gladiators. She picks Taco’s fluffy self off the bed and starts walking down the hallways when the doorbell rings.
Great, just great.
Rolling her eyes, she descends the last step, her shoes clattering against the polished hardwood floors with each stride she takes towards the front door. In one quick movement, she unlocks the doors and opens it up, smiling.
Her eyebrows rise up in confusion. “Carter?” she asks, stepping aside so he could come inside. She closes the door and Taco begins squirming in excitement when his hands goes out to pet him.
“Well, Merry Christmas to you too,” he says while planting a kiss on her cheek. “I can leave if you want.”
“Carter, shut up. You know I didn’t mean it like that,” she says. “I’m happy that you’re here. I just didn’t know you were coming over. Did my parents invite you over once again?”
“Yeah, your dad did. I’m always running into him somewhere.” He laughs. “Why, he didn’t tell you?”
This is like her first date with Harry all over again except its Christmas. She shakes her head no. “Of course not, you know how my dad is.”
“Where do you want me to put these?” he asks, referring to the three gift bags grasped in his right hand.
She shrugs her shoulders before setting Taco down on the floor. “Um…under the tree is fine unless you want us to open it right now or something.”
He contemplates for a few before coming to a decision. “I’ll leave your parents’ gift under the tree because I want you to open yours right now. But I’m going to go use the bathroom real quick.” He says and nods.
“Alright, just meet out on the patio when you’re done,” she says. “I’m going to check to see if my mom needs any help in the kitchen.”
She dismisses him off with a smile before strolling inside of the kitchen. The cups, the plates, the napkins, the silverware, and much more are neatly stacked on the table. However, she ignores that and grabs a grabs a bag of chips off the table.
“Mom, this looks nice. But where’s the food at and when are we going to eat dinner?” she asks while joining her at the sink.
Scarlett turns the faucet off and turns around to face her daughter. “The food is heating up in the dining room and—” she stops talking and snatches the bag of Lays chips from London’s hand. “What are you doing? These are for the guests!”
“I’m sorry?” London says. What did her mom expect her to do? Those chips were laying there idle on the table. “What happened to all the junk food?”
“I already set them out outside for you guys and who was that at the door?”
“It was Carter and you never answered my question about when we’re going to eat dinner. It’s almost five o’ clock.”
Scarlett rolls her eyes while opening the fridge. She bends down and grabs an assorted fruit platter from off of the shelf. “We’re eating at six-thirty and bring this outside for me. And when you’re at it, tell Carter I said ‘hi’.”
“I hope you aren’t lying to me,” London calls over her shoulder.
She steps foot onto the patio and slows down her pace when she hears Carter talking on the phone. His back is facing the opposite direction and he’s pacing around the backyard. However, his voice is very low, almost like a whisper, as if he doesn’t want someone to hear him. Yet she’s still able to pick up some of the things he’s saying.
“No. He’s not here, I already checked…No…yes, I have it… I have to go, bye.”
What?
She carefully sets the platter down on the table, trying to act as nonchalant as ever once Carter takes a seat down on the sofa. He hands her over her gift and she thanks him before taking a seat adjacent to him. The curiosity inside of her is raging and she can’t stop herself from asking, “Who was that on the phone?”
He’s startled from her blunt question yet he quickly composes himself before she can see. “My uncle,” he says. “He wanted to know whether or not if your dad was here because he needed to ask him a question. Then he started conversing with me out of nowhere.”
“Oh, well if he calls you back; tell him I said ‘hi’.”
He watches as her hand rattles loudly inside of the bag due to the crisp tissue paper. Seconds afterwards, she pulls out a black box with fine writing on it that’s four by four. She smiles, lifting the lid off and her smile grows wider when she sees best friend engraved on the bracelet.
“Carter! I love you so much!” she reaches over the arm of her chair and gives him a hug. “This is so cute! I love it.”
She gingerly places it on her wrist and it snaps together. It’s a perfect fit—not too big and not too small. “Thank you.”
He nods while smiling. “You’re welcome. So, where is Harry? I saw his Audi outside yet he’s not here.”
Grabbing a plate off the table, she fills it up with chips. She eats a couple of them, the saltiness of them making her thirsty before replying, “He and my dad went out to go get some wine. They left like five minutes before you came.”
He nods. “So how are things with you and him going? It’s almost been four months right?”
“Yeah and we’re fine.”
“Fine? Why so glum?”
“I don’t know…I just don’t want to talk about it.”
She slouches back into the couch with her plate and he frowns. He’s not used to her being so gloomy and bothered by a simple question. Granted, it happens occasionally but she’s normally always in a peppy mood. “London, you know you can tell me anything right? We aren’t best friends for nothing.”
She considers his words and sighs, running her free hand through her hair. He does have a point. Right?
“I guess I’m just still a tad bit upset over how I told Harry ‘I loved him’ for the first time and he didn’t say it back. I felt a pang of rejection at first but I couldn’t do anything about it. I wasn’t going to be like ‘Why don’t love me yet’ or ‘What do you mean you don’t love me’. I would’ve sounded so clingy and maybe even psycho.” She says.
“Why didn’t he say it back?”
“He wasn’t ready to say it, which I respect, and that he doesn’t want to second guess himself anymore once he says it. Then, he said he doesn’t want a repeat of what happened to the last person he loved happen to me.”
“What does that mean?”
She shrugs her shoulders, genuinely confused. “I have no idea. Maybe it was the last person he dated before me. Or someone else perhaps?”
“Like who, Jen?”
She absentmindedly nods her head at his remark and then immediately stops once she comes into realization of what he just said. “Wait—what did you just say?”
***
London slips a forkful of lasagna into her mouth and chews silently to herself besides Harry. The animosity lingering off of Carter and Harry alone is suffocating. She doesn’t even recall them both exchanging words with one another. Not even a simple Merry Christmas was heard. She feels so out of her comfort zone right, having the clanking of forks hitting the plates and music playing, being the only things heard at the table.
She peers over at Carter, looking over at him skeptically—first, the phone call and now him knowing about Jen? It doesn’t go well with her even though he claimed that he only knew about Jen due to having heard Harry mention it before. It’s strange because Harry never associates himself around Carter. The only legitimate speculation on how he could’ve heard it is if he eased dropped on one of his conversations.
Harry eyes dart to Mark’s head peeking out of the doorframe leading in to the patio. “London, are you done eating yet? Your mom and I would like to introduce you to a couple of our friends.”
“Yeah, I’m done eating, dad.” She says, pushing her plate away from her before standing up from the table.
Once her dad follows her back inside of the house, Harry sets his silverware down on the table and glares at Carter with so much hatred. “What is your problem?”
“My problem?” Carter scoffs. “You’re my problem.”
“Oh, I’m the problem?” Harry is quick to push himself away from the table and to abruptly stand up on his two feet with his fists clenched. “Stand the fuck up then so we can confront this issue,” he barks.
Carter smirks to himself before standing up from the table and standing face to face with him. “You want to know what my problem is?” he seethes through gritted teeth. “You think that you can just walk up in to London’s life and sweep her off her feet like some fucking knight in shining armor! And I’m not going to let that happen. I’m not going to sit back idle and watch her get fucked over by you if I can stop it. She deserves to know the truth about you!”
“Just admit that you’re fucking jealous that I have her and you don’t. And what truth about me? I’ve told her everything she needs to know!”
“Jealousy?” Carter takes a step closer towards him. “I would never be jealous of you! Last time I checked, I don’t take pills for IED and I don’t have a criminal record! You’re dangerous! Do you have any idea how much her life is in danger just by being with you!”
Harry raises his hands and viciously shoves him back. “You need to shut the fuck up and watch who you’re talking too,” his voice growled.
“Or what? You’re going to hit me?” Carter asks while stepping back up to him, their chests nearly touching. “I dare you to!”
Harry impulsively lifts him off his feet before slamming his whole body onto the ground beneath him harshly as if he was a rag doll. A groan leaves Carter’s mouth as his back arches off the floor. Harry straddles him, delivering punches from left to right at his sides and face simultaneously. Carter throws his arms up, blocking his face, yet it does no justice.
London grabs a cup off the counter before handing it over to Zayn. “You can use this since there’s no more plastic cups left.” She says, smiling.
She’s relieved to be away from her parents and their friends. They were interrogating her for the longest about the stupidest things ever. And her dad made it even worse, telling them embarrassing stories about her when she was younger. It was humiliating.
He grabs the cups from her before filling it up with Sprite. He takes a sip from it and his ears perk up at an unusual sound. “Do you hear that?
“Hear what?” she asks, looking at him intently. Either she’s deaf from the music or she’s too tired to listen closely.
He holds his finger up to her, silencing her for the time being. She watches as he drifts towards in the direction of the open door. His facial expresses contorts into one of shock right before her eyes. Before she can even say anything, he storms outside and her stomach drops.
***
London brings the damp cotton cloth up to Carter’s nose and wipes the rest of the blood off. If Zayn didn’t break the fight up any sooner, the bruises on his face would’ve been ten times worse then what they are now. He’s going to need a lot of ice to get rid of the swelling but his left eye, is definitely going to be blackened in the morning.
She grabs her bottle of Aleve off the counter and shakes two of the green gel pills out on her hand for him to take. “Here you go,” she says, faintly smiling.
“Thank you,” he murmurs. He pops both of them inside of his mouth and washes it down with water.
She leans against the wall in front of his seated position. “Are you sure you’re fine? I can get you some ice if you want.”
He chuckles, voice gravely. “Yes, London, I swear I’m fine. I don’t need anything. Thank you.”
He’s obviously lying yet she doesn’t say anything about it him.
Boys and their egos.
His gaze is set low on the floor as they both stay inside of the room in an awkward silence. His eyes rake up and down her toned bare legs lustfully. His pupils dilate and he gets up from his seat before standing directly in front of her.
She glances up at him, utterly perplexed from his sudden mood change and closeness. “What are you doing?”
“Remember when I said I had my eyes on someone?” he asks, his gaze flickering from her eyes to parted red plump lips. “Well, it was you the whole time.”
She goes to open her mouth to say something but he cuts her off by smashing his lips on hers. He presses himself against her on the wall and she’s left dumbfounded and she does the unthinkable and kisses him back with just as much force.
It’s not the same. It’s not the same exhilarating tingles that flutter inside of her body when Harry kisses her. Or the way she loses herself into the kiss every single time. His hair doesn’t tickle her face like Harry’s does. It’s not the same plumpness of his lips. He’s too sloppy with the kiss while Harry’s is more faultless. And his actions, it’s not as dominant and sensual as Harry’s.
She finally comes to her senses and she starts pushing him off of her. He ignores her shoves and continues his assault on her neck which doesn’t feel pleasant at all along with his hand running up and down her leg. “Carter, get off of me! I can’t do this to him!”
“He doesn’t have to know about it. It can be our little secret,” he says and she grows livid.
“What the fuck? Get off of me!” Her hand reaches forward and she grabs a fistful of his hair before pulling his head back roughly.
“I don’t care, I like it rough.”
He goes in for another kiss and she slaps him across the face without thinking twice. He staggers back some, holding his hand up to his cheek.
“What the fuck, London!” he exclaims.
She glares at him before shoving him out of the bathroom door. “Don’t ‘What the fuck, London’ me. Get the hell out of my house!”
She slams the door in his face before sinking to the floor, having her head rest against the door. She tugs at her hair in frustration while shaking her head from left to right in disbelief. She can’t believe she just did that. She cheated on him.
She cheated on Harry.
“Fuck, I’m so screwed,” she says to herself while getting up. She walks over to the mirror and gasps at how prominent the two marks on her neck are. There’s no way in hell she can hide this with her hair. One’s just above her collarbone and the other is higher up on her neck.
She exits the bathroom and walks in the direction of the room. She doesn’t feel like being around anybody anymore and noisy music is going to make it even harder for her to fall asleep. She still feels his on her and she feels disgusting. She needs to take a shower.
She saunters inside of her room and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Harry pacing around her room in circles. She goes to turn around but his voice stops her.
“London?”
She doesn’t dare look at him; instead she stands next to the wall, looking down at her nails.
“Where were you?” He asks. “I’ve been in here for like five minutes and you weren’t downstairs either.”
She bites down on her lip. “I was in the bathroom.”
“Oh,” he says. He runs his hand through his hair while walking towards her. “Well, I just wanted to say that I was sorry for the way I acted. I didn’t mean to ruin your Christmas.”
He lifts her chin up. “Look up at m—what the fuck is that on your neck?”
When she doesn’t say anything, he annoyingly pushes her up against the wall, forcing her to look into his raging eyes. “What is that!” he repeats and she flinches from his loudness.
Her bottom lip trembles. “D-don’t make me say it, Harry, you already know what it is.”
“How could you do this to me?” he asks and she could see the hurt written all over her face. It breaks her heart because she knows it’s her fault.
“It was a mis—”
“London, you cheated on me!” he shouts. “You cheated on me with that piece of shit and you know how much I hate him!”
“Harry, I swear to God it was a mistake. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“You didn’t know what you were doing yet you let him leave two fucking hickeys on your neck! Were you even going to tell me? And don’t lie to me either.”
She shakes her head. “No, I wasn’t going to tell you bec—”
“What the hell!” he says while backing away from her. “I’ve been nothing but faithful to you through this whole relationship, London! I thought you loved me! Were you lying to me then too?”
Her tears threaten to spill. “Of course not, Harry! I was never lying when I said I loved you! I meant it with all of my heart!”
He scoffs to himself
“No, you fucking didn’t,” he sneers while grabbing his keys. “If you truly did, you would’ve never cheated on me in the first place.”