(I love you all don't forget that.)
*Perrie's Pov*
When Jade left my panic engulfed me.
"Luke please go with her," I begged him. "Make sure...make sure Jade doesn't do anything rash."
Luke bobbed his head and disappeared into the hall. I looked to Jesy and collapsed onto the floor. She was by my side in an instant, wrapping me in a warm embrace. There were no tears left. I'd cried them all. Now there was only the numbness overtaking me like that day I first saw Zayn.
"Perrie what is it? What's wrong?" Jesy drew back, searching my face for signs that I was more injured than I'd let on.
"Zayn knows where I live." My thoughts tumbled out unfiltered. I sounded hysterical. I probably was hysterical. That didn't matter. I just needed someone to hear me.
"He's been following me. He's crazy."
"I think that's established," Jesy reached up and touched my forehead as if expecting to discover I'd developed a fever.
"I saw him," I confessed in a low voice.
"The first day I was here with Jade. I thought it was my imagination or a coincidence."
"And you didn't tell Jade?" she guessed.
"It upset me, but I dismissed it. Things were over between us. I had no reason to believe..." My words trailed away when I saw guilt flash across Jesy's fair features.
"I saw him, too. Near the flat a few weeks ago. I should have known something was up."
"No," I stopped her. "Zayn was a first class asshole, but there was no reason to suspect he'd gone off the deep end."
"None?" she pushed.
I started to shake my head but then hesitated.
"He called a few times after I broke things off. I hung up on him but oh god he told Jade. Oh god—" a sob racked my chest —"He told her I was pregnant and that I killed the baby."
" You didn't kill the baby Pez it wasn't your fault," Jesy said firmly.
"I...I..." I sobbed.
"Shh it's okay."
"Jade is going to hate me." I cried into Jesy shoulder feeling all the pain coming back from that night.
"No she won't Perrie"
Someone cleared their throat and we both jumped before we saw Luke waiting silently at the door.
"Perrie should rest," he advised.
"I can't leave her alone." Jesy's harsh rebuke caught me off guard.
"Jade is finished. Zayn has been taken into custody, and I doubt Lauren will budge from the front curb all night."
I forced a smile, not wanting to add additional strain to the situation. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Jesy asked, and I could tell she didn't buy my act.
"She will be," Jade said, striding into the room. She offered a hand to Jesy and she scrambled to her feet before Jade scooped me off mine.
"A hot bath and a glass of wine. Lauren sent for something to help you sleep."
"I don't want to sleep." I sounded like a petulant child, but now I understood why children fought the night. They knew that closing their eyes invited nightmares.
"You're safe, love," She whispered, pressing a reverent kiss to my forehead that seemed to wash away my fears.
Luke extended his arm to Jesy.
Jesy paused at the door. "Call me tomorrow."
"I promise." This time I would keep that promise. I could only imagine how hard it would have been to walk out of here if I was in her shoes. Jade didn't follow them downstairs. Instead she cradled me against her, whispering reassurances to me. From the foyer, Lauren's reassuring voice echoed as she showed them out.
"Lauren has checked the house," Jade informed me.
"There's no sign of how Zayn got in."
"Which means he walked right through the front door." I felt sick all over again.
"This is why I hate parties."
But neither of us laughed at my weak attempt at a joke. Our privacy had been invaded before by hackers and paparazzi, but this was different. It shook through my skin and down into my marrow, contaminating my very being. I told myself I didn't know how far Zayn would have gone. It was easier in this instance to swallow my own lie than face the truth.
Jade carried me to the bathroom where she lowered me to my feet, waiting to ensure I could stand. A few minutes later the tub had filled halfway with water and bubbles and she stepped around me. Brushing my hair over my shoulder, her fingers found my zipper.
She tugged it down slowly, her lips kissing the back of my neck as she slipped the straps of my dress off. It fell, pooling at my feet. Unhooking my bra, Jade ran her hands over my breasts as she removed it.
Vulnerability overcame me and I folded into her, fumbling for her buttons. I didn't want to be alone. Not for a moment. I met with no resistance as I undressed her. We faced each other, exposed and raw. Jade lifted my hand to her lips and kissed the tip of each finger before gesturing for me to step into the bath.
I sank into the water and she followed.
We settled against each other and I relaxed into her. My eyes closed as she soaped up my arms and back, washing away all but the memory of what had transpired this evening. Neither of us spoke for a long time, finding solace in the silence of each other's company.
"Perrie." My name was a prayer on her lips. "I'm sorry."
My throat went raw and I swallowed against fresh tears. "You did nothing wrong."
"I didn't protect you baby," She said in a strangled voice.
"You did protect me, I'm right here."
"When I came in and found you..." The thickness of her voice said what she couldn't.
I could barely process it myself. How must it have looked to her?
"What Zayn said," Jade continued, "about the child, you... you were pregnant why didn't you tell me?"
Somewhere deep inside myself I found the last remnants of strength I had left.
"I didn't have an abortion, I had miscarriage." I expected her to pull away or tense up. Instead Jade held me closer, giving me the last bit of strength I needed.
"Zayn was becoming to much and i was about to break it off with him until that day I found out I was pregnant and i didn't know how to react. I told Zayn and he changed, I didn't tell my family either and at eight weeks I went for my first obstetrician appointment, the lady said If i had any morning sickness and I didn't and she thought it was strange and asked if I had any other symptoms. But I didn't. So she did the ultrasound and there was no sound. Zayn started to become impatient and started to yell then she told us that she was sorry there was no heartbeat. Then Zayn threw a chair across the room screaming at me saying I killed the baby." Jade pulled me closer trying to calm me down.
"It was my fault I was too weak," I admitted.
"Stop blaming yourself " Jade said.
"If I had the baby would you still be with me?" I asked.
Jade didn't answer and my heart sank.
"It doesn't matter there's no baby, What's past is past."
"What if I was pregnant with your child?" I asked.
Jade's breath hitched, "What are y-" She was cut off by Lauren knocking on the door. Jade gave me one last glance and grabbed a towel and answered the door.
"Someone needs to see you downstairs your highness." Lauren said.
Jade nodded and turned to me. "You should get out and get some sleep I'll join you later okay, I-I love you." She said before leaving the room to get changed leaving me alone.
----------------------------
It didn't seem to matter that Zayn was in jail, because except for work, I was on unofficial house arrest. Lauren accompanied me to work and back home again. Jade closed herself into rooms and held whispered conversations. Jesy called constantly.
Yet somehow the story hadn't reached the media. I took to wearing scarves and jumpers to hide the physical reminders of the attack. My life had been reduced to varying degrees of faking okay. Not everyone I trusted knew about the attack, and while I wanted to keep it that way, it was exhausting. Life outside my inner circle went on as normal while those inside it struggled for normalcy.
"I've taken the day off of work," I announced to Jade on Wednesday morning.
She abandoned the kettle and circled me protectively from behind. "Are you feeling okay? I can cancel my meetings."
"Don't worry, Jade, Luke set up a shopping trip with Jesy." I lied well about feeling okay not the shopping trip, I've been feeling awfully sick during the mornings. I popped a pod into the automatic coffee maker and hit the button. Shifting my weight, I leaned back against her, appreciating the warmth on the chilly autumn morning.
"Shopping," Jade repeated, as if it was a foreign concept.
"Does Lauren do all of your shopping, too?" I asked with a laugh.
"No." She shook her head. "I don't think so. Clothes seem to appear."
"You must have a fairy godmother," I murmured. "I should thank her for making you look so good."
Jade spun me around and bracketed me against the counter.
"You're what makes me look good," Jade said.
My heart sped up, sending blood rushing through me. Would this feeling ever fade? Or would I be blessed enough to be this wildly in love for the rest of my life? I couldn't imagine another moment passing by without him. I didn't want to.
I willed my excited body to calm. "What meetings do you have?"
"Boring ones," She said with a smirk.
"Someone in Parliament. A late lunch with my mother. And Batman."
"Batman?"
"Checking to see if you were paying attention, love."
"I'm always paying attention to you," My fingers closed over the knot of her tie, straightening it before I caressed the red silk. I raised an eyebrow suggestively.
Jade took a step forward, locking herself against me. "You're giving me ideas."
"That was my plan." My breath hitched as her fingers dug into my hips, gripping them tightly.
"You'd like me to take this tie off, wouldn't you?" She waited for me to nod.
"And then what? Do you want me to cover your eyes so you won't know where my hands or teeth are?"
A moan answered her.
"Or maybe I should strip you down and tie you to a chair? I could call into my meetings," She said silkily, "and watch you squirm while boring people discuss boring things."
Yes, please.
"Decisions. Decisions." Jade rubbed a finger over my lower lip, and my mouth parted to taste her skin. "Or maybe I'll take you to bed and tie your delicate ankles to your wrists so that your beautiful sex is at the mercy of my fingers and tongue and finally my member. I could fuck you for hours, plunging in and out of you."
My body responded to the promise of her words, wanting to be at her mercy.
"I choose all of the above," I "whispered.
"Unfortunately, I can't cancel these meetings."
"Then we better make this quick," I whispered, tilting my lips closer to hers.
Jade's mouth slanted over mine, kissing me until I forgot about the troubles waiting outside our front door.
--------------------------
Lauren handed me off to Jesy at the entrance to Tamara's Boutique. Despite knowing Zayn was in jail, it comforted me to have the trustworthy bodyguard escorting me. I knew, though, that hired muscle was only a Band-Aid fix. I had to rip it off and face the sting of fear that followed. I couldn't allow the past to destroy the fragile happiness Jade and I had finally found. My best friend hugged me tightly.
"I've got her from here," she promised Lauren.
"I won't be far." Lauren patted the pocket of her blazer.
Sooner or later I'd want the freedom to come and go as I pleased. For now, my fear was too fresh to go unbandaged.
The shop occupied a small space but there was no questioning that its clientele was posh. Heavy silk curtains draped the storefront windows, allowing light inside but granting privacy to its exclusive patrons. Plush rugs scattered the battered wooden floor that was typical of a shop of its age. There were very few dresses on display rather the entire shop centered around a cluster of overstuffed lounge chairs and settees. Luke had already taken up residence in the center of one, and he stood in greeting as Jesy and I arrived.
Despite it being a dress shop, there was no doubt he belonged here. Dressed in a striking blue oxford and gray trousers, he looked every bit the fashion genius I knew him to be.
"Ladies." He spread his hands in welcome.
Jesy kissed his cheeks, taking both his offered hands as if they were already old friends. Then they both rounded on me.
"How are you?" Luke asked seriously.
"I'm fine." I plopped down onto a velvet divan with a sigh. Apparently there'd be no escape from the drama currently surrounding my personal life. It helped knowing that they were merely worried, but what I really needed was a break from the events of the prior weekend.
Luke cocked an eyebrow, suggesting he didn't buy it, but made no further comment.
"For a dress shop, there are very few gowns," I said, hastily trying to change the subject.
"We're here for a private showing," he informed me. Luke waited for Jesy to sit before taking a chair for himself.
"Tamara has all your measurements and she's arranged for an exclusive preview of her winter line."
"Ohhhh!" Jesy's bright eyes widened in anticipation. "I hope you brought a blank check."
Luke waved off the comment.
"Jade has made all the necessary arrangements. I'm under orders that you should take everything you like."
Somehow it didn't surprise me that my domineering lover had seen to this. She'd been extra protective the last few days, at times her behavior bordering on fanatical.
Tamara turned out to be a forty-something firecracker with more edge than most of the women half her age. She wore her platinum hair bobbed at the chin. Coupled with her chic wrap dress and knee-high boots, she could easily have passed for one of the models and not the designer herself.
"This must be Perrie." She eyed me appraisingly and then smiled with approval.
"You are going to look divine in my platinum evening gown."
I wasn't certain I'd have much of an occasion to wear something like that, but I nodded, finding myself eager to please her.
"The models will be out presently. Can I offer you a refreshment?" she asked. "Sparkling water? Champagne?"
"Coffee?" I asked hopefully,
She disappeared into the back room, leaving us to chat.
"How's Edward?" I asked Luke, who beamed at the mention of his boyfriend's name.
"No one has ever been so happy to be splashed on the cover of a tabloid," he admitted with a rueful grin.
"Unfortunately, that's not a sentiment the queen shares."
"Sod her," Jesy said, earning an appreciative laugh from Luke.
"Indeed. It's incredible how much lighter I feel," he confessed. "I should have outed myself years ago."
"Hearts are broken all over England," I informed him. "The crown's most eligible bachelor has been caught."
"I think that you hold the honor of catching the most eligible bachelorette. They're only sad that their consolation prize is already claimed."
I'd found myself checking the gossip site headlines the last few days, thrilled to discover that the majority were supportive. I'd even had to chuckle at the suggestion that it was just further proof that the old dinosaur of the monarchy still had some edge.
We fell into an easy rhythm, the conversation flowing as if we'd all known each other for years. For the first time since Jade and I had reunited, my own burden lifted. My phone buzzed in my purse and I pulled it out, frowning to see Caitlin's name flashing on the screen.
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to my sister. It was that Caitlin reserved phone calls for practical matters. She wasn't the type to phone simply for a quick chat.
"Hello," I answered, leaving Jesy and Luke to debate which photo from TMI's ongoing coverage of his outing was the most flattering.
"Perrie, I'm so glad I've caught you. Do you have a minute?" She spoke breathlessly and continued on before waiting for me to respond.
"Mother wants to set up a family meeting."
It was refreshing not to be bombarded with more pitiful enquiries to how I was coping with Saturday's events. Jade had managed to keep the media out of the situation through means I didn't question, but she had insisted on phoning my parents. Their lack of response told me that their own issues were far from resolved.
"She's insisting that we need to hire a PR consultant to handle the Zayn situation and..."
"And the affair?" I finished for her.
"You know Mother. She didn't come right out and say it, but yes. She's concerned with how a scandal might affect you," Caitlin confessed.
"Was this your idea?" I asked her bluntly. Caitlin was still at university but she'd already nearly finished her own PR degree. No one could question her ambition, but I also knew that she didn't see a family matter as a private concern. All she saw was the best way to spin.
"This was her idea." There was an edge to her voice now, and I backtracked.
"The only way Dad cheating on her is going to affect me is if he doesn't stop,"
I said in a flat voice. "I hardly see how his affair affects me in other ways."
"You're poised to marry the most powerful women in Britain."
I ignored the slight condescension. "There is a difference between dating and marrying, Caitlin."
"Don't shoot the messenger," she warned me. "Will you come if she sets it up?"
"I suppose." Not a bone in my body agreed with how my mother was handling the confirmation of my father's affair. The whole thing stank. What my parents needed to worry about was their marriage. Instead they were focused on their public personae. Not to mention the fact that Jade wasn't going to like the idea of me speaking with a publicist.
"I'm making a few calls, but I'll send you the information as soon as I have it." She ended the call without a farewell and I dropped my phone back into my purse. Then dug it out and turned the ringer to silent.
"I take it that wasn't Jade," Luke said.
"My mother wants to hire a publicist," I said pointedly, gratefully accepting a hot cup of coffee from Tamara. Jesy laughed at the revelation and after a few moments I joined her.
"Jade was right," Luke said thoughtfully. "You really will fit right in with the family."
"Is everyone planning my wedding?" I asked in dismay.
"No one but the whole of the free world," he assured me.
"I already told her that." Jesy grinned smugly.
"Wipe that grin off your face, Jessica Nelson." But her smile only widened at my warning.
"Don't pout. There's no pouting while shopping," Luke ordered as a statuesque blonde strutted into the room in a fitted navy blue dress that fell gracefully below the knee. She turned, showing off its boatneck collar and open back. The skirt seemed modest until I saw the slit in the back that allowed glimpses of her toned legs.
"You need that," Jesy murmured.
"It's so..." I struggled to find the right words.
"Classic? Sexy? Timeless?" Luke offered, and I could only nod.
It was exactly the kind of thing I was expected to wear. I never would have picked it up off the rack, but seeing it on her... I ordered it on the spot. The next hour passed in a flurry of taffeta and linen and crepe. I lost count of the number of items that Luke and Jesy insisted that I had to have, and I was all too willing to be swept into the glamour of it all. Jesy and Luke left to find us a table for lunch while I finalised the bill.
When Tamara began to bring me shoes, I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "How much have I spent?"
"The bill is taken care of. Miss Jade insisted you not see it." She patted my arm and then handed me a pair of Louboutins. There was a convenient lack of price tag. "You're living a fairytale, Perrie. Try to enjoy it."
But the problem with fairytales is that people only remembered the love story and forgot the twisted beasts and evil witches lurking in the shadows.
Happily ever afters weren't easily won, they were fought for, and the oldest of these stories didn't often end prettily.
I slipped the pump onto my foot, admiring the sexy arch that curved into a sky-rise heel.
"You need those," a voice said over my shoulder. My core clenched, the words splitting the world around me like lightening. Sudden. Powerful. Undeniable.
I spun in my seat and stretched my calf out so she could admire the expensive shoe.
Jade nodded at Tamara. "Wrap them up."
"I'm afraid I've been bad and bought too many dresses," I told her when Tamara had left us.
Jade bent down over my seat, propping her hands on its arms. "I understand that this shop offers private viewings. Perhaps you can show me."
"I'm expected at lunch," I reminded her, but the silky edge of longing crept into my voice.
"Choose one." It wasn't a request.
I ducked into the back room and found Tamara overseeing the packaging of my gowns and dresses and shoes. Once upon a time, it might have embarrassed me to ask a stranger a question like this, but Jade put fire in my veins, and I could only think of extinguishing it with her touch.
"Jade is requesting to see one of my purchases," I explained to her. "She'd like a private showing."
This woman was far too sophisticated not to catch my meaning. But I had just purchased half of her winter line, so she tilted her head in approval. "Of course, love. Whatever Her Highness wishes, we will see to."
Whatever Her Highness wishes, I will see to, I corrected her silently.
"I'll let you choose what you want to show her." Tamara stepped away from the rack of dresses waiting to be boxed up and delivered to my house. It took only a moment for me to find the one I knew she would appreciate most.
"I told you that one would suit you."
She showed me to a back dressing room and pulled open the damask curtain, hanging the gown so I could change. "If you need help, I'll be around the corner. Out of sight."
I didn't miss the suggestiveness of her words. This was what life with Jade would entail. Special privileges. Purchased privacy. And, I thought as the platinum silk dropped over my head, beautiful objects. I didn't need any of it, and yet my skin warmed thinking of how she could bring the world to its knees. Just as she'd brought me to mine.
The gown rippled across my tailbone, held up by two slender ropes that curved gracefully across my shoulders, leaving my back exposed. But its most scintillating feature was the slit that revealed my thigh to the point of indecency. It was the kind of dress that required a very particular type of undergarment, or better yet, none at all.
"Perrie," Tamara called from the other side of the curtain. "I've brought you some stockings and shoes. It won't do to have you only half-dressed."
I seriously doubted that Jade would complain, but I took the items from her. The garter belt she passed me was impossibly delicate, a mere whisper of lace gliding over my skin as I hooked it over my hips. A seam ran up the back of the sheer stockings starting exactly at the back heel of the sequined Louboutins she'd brought me. There was a time when I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing this dress with these heels and so very little underwear. But now I saw my body through Jade's eyes. She'd made me comfortable in my own skin.
Outside the dressing room, the shop felt deserted. Tamara and the models were nowhere to be seen. But even though I felt sexy, I was no way runway model. The thought of strutting into the showroom made me feel ridiculous, but as soon as I stepped in front of Jade, all the doubt vanished. She drank me in, fucking me with her eyes. Jade's mouth twisted into a wicked smile that promised sin without apology.
Jade had been my greatest temptation from the moment we met, but our roles had reversed. Now I was the apple, and it was clear she wanted a bite.
My thigh slipped through the gown as I crossed to her, exposing the ribbon of my garters in invitation. I sashayed toward her and stopped just short of her reach to turn slowly around.
Jade lounged against the chair, she'd unbuttoned her jacket and loosened her tie, but even in this relaxed state, power radiated from her. Hours ago she'd been discussing politics with world leaders, preparing to take on the role of leading a country Minutes ago she'd shut down an entire store, because she could. Now she tapped a finger on her lower lip, drawing my attention to her mouth. That was the true nature of her authority her ability to simply exert her will on the world.
Jade extended her hand, hooking a finger in silent command. I stepped forward, finally close enough to touch her, but I refrained, waiting for her cue. The need to dominate had returned. It sparked in her eyes while the rest of her face remained passive and in control.
My center ached, wondering what exquisite torture she had planned for me even as I knew it would never be enough. The back of her hand caressed across the bare space between stocking and silk, and I trembled at the contact. Bumps rippled along my flesh as my body reacted to her touch.
"I have half a mind to roll this off of you—" She fingered the band circling my thigh—"and tie you to this chair."
"Why don't you?" I murmured, shifting so that her hand slipped higher up my bare thigh.
Jade's mouth twisted into a smirk and she drew back, leaving me unsatisfied. "I'm always ripping your clothes off, Perrie. I think this time I'll leave them on."
"But how will you touch me?"
"Oh, I'll still touch you, love"
"Are you worried that I can't turn you on if I don't have you naked? If I can't brush my fingers over your bare nipples or see your lovely, naked sex?" She leaned forward and cupped my breast through the gown's silk.
"Do you think it will be a challenge for me to get your body to respond? Because it won't. Your body understands what I want from it what I expect from it. Doesn't it?"
Jade's thumb orbited the tips of my nipples until they pebbled against the fabric. The silk grazed across their sensitive furls until my breasts swelled under the gown.
"I can't decide," She said in a measured voice, "if I'll allow you to wear this dress out of our home Everyone who looks at you will see your curves, and your body is so responsive, particularly your breasts. You won't be able to hide these. They demand attention, don't they?"
A moan slipped from my lips as she pinched my beaded nipples. The sting of pleasure shot through my body and rolled through my core.
"On the other hand," She continued, "part of me wants them to see my prize. I want them to admire your graceful body. I want them to lust after you crave you. Because they can never have you. Why is that, love?"
"Because I'm yours," I breathed as shivers rippled across my skin.
"Yes you are baby," She said.
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How can people be so cruel? How could they do this, 22 people have died which includes children as young as eight years old, teenagers and adults. You'll never be forgotten and I'm so sorry that this has happened. If any of you guys were at the concert in Manchester I hope you's are okay and safe and I'm so sorry if anyone lost anyone in this tragic event. My heart goes out to everyone who has been effected ❤️ I love you all