And I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
Cause you can bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Fix A Heart - Demi Lovato
I sit up right in bed, gasping for air. I feel a hot tear roll down my cheek. I quickly whipe it away, I've cried enough yesterday. Memories of yesterday rush back to me, as I don't recognize my surroundings. It's dark, I can't see a lot, but it looks very basic.
I then remember Stoffel. He was extremely sweet for me. I don't even know why I let him take me here. I didn't stop him, I just let him carry me to his house. And now he's letting me stay in his house.
I just dreamt about Dylan, how he came into my life in the right moment. I gave in to everything, because I was vunerable when I met him. When I think about it, he's always treated me like shit. He never cared, I was just easy. I feel myself shivering, new tears forming in my eyes. I sigh and lay back down, closing my eyes.
But I can't sleep. I can only think about everything that has happened, how hurt I've been, how hurt I am now. Without really thinking it through, I get out of the bed and open the door. It's extremely quiet and dark. It must be in the middle of the night. I walk around, seeing only one door closed.
I slowly and softly open it, my eyes landing on a bed. He forgot to close his own blinds, the moonlight shining in his room. I can see him, laying on his side, one arm over the covers. I slowly walk over to him, his face facing his room, and now me as I stand next to him.
I softly shake his arm, it causes a frown to appear on his face. I shake him again and this time, he wakes up. His eyes land on me and worry immediately appears in them. He sits up, exposing his bare stomach.
"Are you okay?" he asks, the worry also clear in his voice. I nod my head, but shake it right after.
"I can't sleep" I say and bite my lip. Stoffel's eyes soften and he nods. He moves away to the other side of his bed, holding the covers up without questioning me any further. I feel my cheeks heating up as I lay down in his bed, next to him.
"Do you want to talk about it or just sleep?" Stoffel asks. It might feel good to talk, but I don't want to cry in front of him, again.
"Sleep would be great, actually" I mumble, making Stoffel chuckle softly. I sigh, trying to relax. I close my eyes, but it feels like I'm just as alone. Before I can stop myself, I make things more awkward.
"Can I cuddle with you?" I immediately blush at my own words. I'm really giving him a good impression off me. But Stoffel doesn't answer. I just feel his arm moving around me, pulling me into his chest. I blush even more as I feel his bare chest.
Stoffel's hand moves to my back, drawing circles on it. I slowly place my arm around his waist as well, cuddling into his chest. He doesn't seem to mind, so why would I?
I close my eyes, feeling myself finally relaxing again. Soon enough, I feel asleep.
I feel myself waking up. I still have my eyes closed, but I feel a finger tracing my skin. I feel pressure on my waist, an arm around me.
I slowly open my eyes, meeting the bright blue eyes of Stoffel. He gives me a lazy smile, which I return.
"Good morning" he mumbles, as his eyes move over my face, before looking into my eyes again.
"Good morning" I reply. I notice how I feel safe, laying next to him, his arm around me. I feel good, I feel relaxed. That scares me as well, but I don't do anything about it right now. When I see some dark bags under his eyes, I feel guilty.
"Sorry for waking you up" I say, as I still feel his finger moving up and down my arm. I have a hard time surpressing the shivers running over my body.
"It's fine, I didn't mind. I'm just glad you could sleep" he says, giving me another smile. I nod, inspecting his face a bit more than I could've yesterday. He has a strong jawline. There are some small hairs on his chin, which suits him perfectly.
"I don't even know your name" Stoffel suddenly says, chuckling himself at how weird that actually is. It's my fault, really. I didn't even talk for a good hour yesterday.
"My name is Makenna" I tell him, making him smile.
"It's a beautiful name" he mumbles, grinning at me. I feel myself blushing, once again. I need to stop doing that.
"Would you like some breakfast?" Stoffel asks. I just now feel my stomach growling, so I nod. Stoffel nods as well and takes his arm away from me. I immediately feel cold and lonely again.
Stoffel sits up in his bed, and my eyes move to his chest again. It's very muscular, just as his arms. He gets out of bed and puts on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt.
"Do you want breakfast in bed?" he asks with a grin. I giggle, for the first time since yesterday. He's eyes light up at hearing me giggle, which causes me to blush, again.
"No, I'll follow you" I mumble and get out of his bed as well. He walks away already. I just turn back around and put the covers neatly over his bed again. I then walk after him into the kitchen.
He's already grabbing some bread and eggs.
"Do you want an omlet?" he asks, as he grabs some butter as well.
"Yes, please" he nods and starts on making it. His phone starts ringing from the counter. He looks at it, sighing.
"Can you hand me my phone?" he asks, as he keeps his eyes on the eggs. I just grab his phone, seeing the name Simon on his screen. He quickly answers it.
"Hey Si" "Yeah, I know" "What do you mean? I thought I had the day off?" "Okay, sure" "Yeah, yeah. See you later" he puts his phone down and sighs.
"Work?" I ask softly, leaning against the kitchen counter. Stoffel puts the now finished eggs on bread and sighs again.
"Sort off" I frown at that answer. What could 'sort off' mean? Stoffel looks at my confused expression and chuckles.
"I have a complicated job, but I can show you, if you want" he says, as he takes the two plates to the dinner table. I sit down and Stoffel sits down next to me. He grabs his laptop and opens YouTube. He shoves the laptop to me.
"Type in, Stoffel Vandoorne. You'll see what I do" he says. I frown but do what he says. Videos of him in karts, or in much faster cars pop up.
"You're a racing driver?" I question, making him laugh. He nods, smiling proudly.
"The person who just called, Simon, is my personal trainer. I thought I had the day off, but the season is close to starting and he wants me to train a bit more" Stoffel explains. I nod, my eyes moving back to all the videos.
"What kind of cars are you driving this season, then?" I ask. Motorsport has never been my thing, but maybe I'll do my research.
"Formula 1. My first season" he says, another proud smile on his face. I nod, wanting to know more about it.
"Can I ask you something?" he asks softly. When I look at him, worry is in his eyes.
"I think so" I answer, not sure about what his question is going to be about.
"Why were you in the state you were in yesterday? If you don't want to talk about, it's fine as well" he quickly adds. I take a deep breath. He deserves to know, right? I mean, he took me to his house, let me sleep in his bed and cuddled with me, all because he wanted me to be fine.
"I'm sorry in advance if I start to cry" I start, making Stoffel look more worried right away.
"I caught my boyfriend cheating, well ex boyfriend now. I thought he was different, he always told me he was different. It just hurt me, as he was the last person I thought would hurt me. He was there when I needed someone, the only person who was there, so yeah" I say, deciding last minute to keep it short. Stoffel nods slowly.
"Is his name Dylan?" I nod, which he does as well.
"I'm sorry" I shake my head.
"Why would you be sorry? You didn't do anything but good things for me" I say. Stoffel just shrugs, but he looks at me with sadness in his eyes.
"Anyway, you need to train today?" I ask, changing the subject. Stoffel nods, sighing again.
"Yeah, my trainer will get me in two hours. Do you want me to bring you home or do you want to stay here?" he asks. My heart flutters, him offering for me to stay here.
"I don't want to be a bother for you. I can take a cab home as well" I answer. Stoffel shakes his head.
"You're not bothering me, I promise. If you want too, you can stay here, until you want to go home. Until you feel like you want to be alone again" he says. I nod slowly, but frowning.
"But I don't have any stuff here. I should just go home"
"Do you want to go home or do you just say it?" he asks. I blush, knowing very well that I don't want to go home. Dylan has a key to my apartment, I'm scared of seeing him. I'm scared of seeing the pictures of him.
"We can go together, to get some stuff for you. I promise you, I don't mind you staying here. I want you to stay here" he says.
"Thank you" he nods and smiles. He cleans up the dirty plates and then just grabs a pair of shoes, handing me mine.
"Let's go now, so you can take a shower and put on some clean clothes" he says. I nod and put on my shoes. I follow him out of his apartment and into his car.
"Do you mind staying alone in my apartment when I go training? If you don't feel comfortable, I can just call Simon to tell him that I can't train today" Stoffel asks, as he follows the directions I gave him to my apartment.
"No, no. It's okay. I'll take my laptop and watch some series or something"
"You can watch it on my TV, I have Netflix too, you know" he says and grins. It makes me smile as well. I can't believe how sweet he's being to me. I can't imagine him doing any harm to anyone.
We arrive at my apartment. Stoffel follows me to the door, which I open immediately. I try not to look at any pictures standing on a closet next to the door, or hanging on the wall. Stoffel does look, smiling at some. There are some different people on the pictures, not just Dylan.
"I'm just going to quickly grab some clothes, you can wait here or follow me" I say and Stoffel nods. I walk into my room and I hear him following me. I grab a bag and open my closet.
I throw some random items in there, feeling Stoffel's eyes on me.
"I think I'm ready" I say after I grabbed clothes for a few days. Stoffel nods and smiles, walking out of my room again. I quickly grab some underwair as well, feeling too awkward to do it while Stoffel was in my room. I sigh as I follow Stoffel back to his car. I don't even know why I feel so comfortable around him.