Faith POV:
Present
I sit in my room, looking at the ground, before leaning my head back against the wall. I knew Mack would probably call Tim to say goodbye, but I never expected him to come so soon. I stand up slowly, and force myself to come out of my room, before hearing Tim and Mack talk from the top of the stairs.
"I needed her... After the accident... I woke up, thinking she'd be by my side, and then she just took off..." I hear Tim let out, making me cringe. He doesn't understand... and he won't. I pretty much ran away, without really explaining myself, which I understand is pretty crappy toward him, but... I needed time.
I disappeared for about a year, during that time, I had Jana. I spent about three months with her, before I realized I just simply wasn't fit for being a parent... not yet at least. I came back and talked to Kim and Mack about what to do, and he said they could adopt her as their own until I was ready. They've taken care of her since. A few months after that, I decided to reach out to Tim again, and we stayed together for a year before his suicide attempt, which pretty much concluded things for us. He went back to rehab for his injuries, and I moved to Nashville to try and move on. Tim moved to Nashville later, in hopes he could see me, but we never really saw each other until today.
"I remember sitting in the goddamn rehab center thinking that I had made the biggest mistake... and that I should've just let go... because I had no one... And I remember the pain just being so unbelievable, and I kept telling myself that if I could have her, it'd be worth it. But I couldn't have her... And that..." He runs on, making me feel suffocated.
"It hurt." Mack finishes for him. "I know. I could tell." Mack adds, before sighing. "I thought when she came back, that things would work out. But I didn't know how low a place you were at." Mack continues, making me wince. I breathe slowly trying to withhold any emotion.
"Things are better, though." Tim releases, although not reassuringly.
"You miss her?" Mack asks. I freeze, wanting to hear the answer.
"No... That chapter is over." Tim lets out, crushing me a bit. "I can't keep reaching out to a brick wall... I just... I can't keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting her to change." He says, shattering me.
"I understand." Mack lets out softly. He says something else, but it's inaudible. I slide down against the wall and cover my mouth as tears flood down my cheeks. I'm too busy wallowing to even realize the footsteps coming up the stairs. I jump as I see a tall figure standing beside me very suddenly. Mack looks down at me, as I look up at him with tears rushing down. He takes my hand, pulling me onto my feet, before wrapping his arms around me tightly. I press my face against his shoulder and begin to sob. He places his hand on the back of my head, slowly running his fingers through my hair. "It's okay, darlin'." He reassures me.
"Hey Mack!" Tim shouts up the stairs, making me jump. I hold onto Mack, trying my best to muffle my cries. "You got a notepad around here?" He asks.
"Yeah! In my room." He says. He panics as he hears Tim begin to walk upstairs. He motions me to go, so I rush to the end of the hall, hiding behind a little owl-cove at the end of the hall by my door, placing my hand over my chest. Everything hurts, and I don't understand why. Yes, I cared and I loved him, but I never pictured myself being this torn up.
"Which way is your room?" Tim asks Mack. Mack clears his throat, taking a deep breath.
"Right here." He says, motioning toward the door on the other side of the stairs. Tim doesn't make a sound, or even move, which catches me off guard. I hear the floorboard creak, as if he were finally moving, but then I hear Mack's voice. "Don't..." He warns quietly. I turn my head to see there's a mirror on the closet door across the hall from me. Tim stares at me in it, while I stare back, Mack's hand on his chest to keep him from coming toward me. I watch him for a few more seconds, before diving into my room and slamming the door.
"Shit..." I hear Tim let out under his breath. "Fuck!" He then screams, before punching a wall, making me jump. I sit down in my bed, and pull my knees up to my chest, feeling my heart pound while Mack tries to console him.
"Calm down..." Mack says quietly.
"I didn't know she was listening... I..." He begins to ramble.
"I know, I didn't either." Mack replies. "Why don't you go downstairs and give each other some time to calm down." Mack suggests. I wait in silence for his answer, before hearing someone bang on my door. I jump, curling up tighter.
"Audrey... Can we talk?" Tim asks, leaving me a little breathless. I bury my head behind my knees, sobbing even harder. I make sure to stay quiet, not wanting him to hear me falling apart. "Audrey, please..." He begs, before Mack walks up to him and whispers something.
"Give her a bit." I hear Mack whisper, before Tim pounds on the door again.
"Audrey, come on..." He pleads, bringing the tears out of me even faster.
"Go away..." I cry out, sounding like a goddamn child. I hear him sigh from the other end of the door, as he tries to figure out what to do.
"Audrey, I'm sorry... I didn't..." He starts, before stopping himself. He takes a few breaths, before whispering something to Mack. I hear footsteps leaving the door, before the lock on my door clicks. The door slowly swings open, letting Tim in. He shuts the door behind him, leaning against it while looking at me, a complete mess in my bed. "I didn't mean anything I said down there." He tries.
"That's bullshit, Tim." I reply quickly. He sighs, before biting his lip.
"I do miss you... I just try not to, but it doesn't really work as well as I'd like it to." He admits, slowly walking toward the bed, and sitting down on the edge. He stares back at the door and takes a deep breath. "Please say something..." He pleads.
"You hurt me..." I croak out. "And then to hear you say something like that..." I let go, feeling it become hard to breathe. "I tried to help you... I tried so many times to help you, but you just wouldn't let me... You don't understand how horrifying that was for me that night... You woke up screaming at me for saving you, and I was so..." I ramble, before stopping myself to catch my breath. "I had lost you." I confess, biting my lip. "When you woke up, just tearing me to shreds for saving your life, I knew I had lost you. You can't be mad at me for that... You know that if I had stayed, things would've only got worse."
"But I needed you..." He interrupts, swallowing hard while his eyes grow moist. "I needed you to stay even though I was upset, and angry... I needed you to stick with me, and you gave up on me." He argues back, making me feel a little nauseous.
"What part of you screaming at me and telling me to go to hell would make me think that you needed me?" I reply, feeling myself grow hot. "When I needed you, it was never this crazy, hard to read situation. I was straight forward with you. You were telling me to leave, and to get away from you, and I did. You can't seriously condemn me for that." I fire back, my hands growing shaky, as he sits for a moment.
"I stayed for you." He lets out quietly. "When I was in the coma... I saw you... or, I don't know, I guess a vision of you. I had decided that I was going to go ahead and let go, but you... You kept begging me to stay. I kept telling you that I couldn't... and then you threatened to kill yourself and I..." He stops himself, as my stomach churns. "I couldn't... I just simply couldn't be the cause of you harming yourself like that. So I came back, for you... Based on some hallucination of you in my head." He says, making me grow tense. "It's wrong that I held you up to the things that she said, because that was a hallucination, not you. But..." He lets out, appearing to be in pain. I bite my lip to keep from bursting. It was me... I can't tell him that, but if everything he says is what he experienced, that matches almost exactly to what I saw. I can't tell him, because I can tell he's frustrated with the fact that I didn't abide by those promises. "I needed you and every time I turned around, you weren't there..." He finally coughs out.
"I was there... You can't just forget every fucking night I'd have to wake up and hear you sobbing and in unbearable pain. I was there every goddamn night..." I cry out, forcing myself to look away from him. He stares down at his knees, before looking at the dresser at the foot of the bed. "I was the one holding your hand at your bedside every appointment and physical therapy session... I was there holding you hand all through the coma. And sometimes people need a goddamn break, Tim. I'm sorry if it inconvenienced you, but I needed to get myself in check before I moved forward with you. So I left for a year... But, I came back, and I came back for you to this fucking dead end town with the most awful memories for me, for you. And I sucked it up all through the bad times, and all the long nights, and all the fights, but you cannot blame me for leaving after that night... after everything you said. You can't just play the fucking pity card, and pretend like I did nothing for you, because I gave up everything for you." I ramble, seven years of anger and resentment flooding out. He continues to sit quietly, before standing up and heading toward the door. "Are you really just going to leave?" I let out, my lungs pumping as I try to catch my breath from my rant. He nods, turning around and biting his lip.
"It sounds like you've said all you had to say." He says, patronizingly. He turns around and begins walking out the door. I look over at the nightstand spotting a hard-cover book, grabbing it and chucking it in his direction. It accidentally hits in the dead center of his back, causing him to stop in his place. He throws his head back and takes a deep breath, before turning around and looking at me, watching me tremble with pent up anger. I pant, before he throws his hands up. "What?" He shouts, raising his voice now. "You're going to resort to throwing things now? Is that the deal?" He screams, taking a few steps back into the room. I sit still, not really sure how to respond. "You're a goddamn child, Audrey." He jeers, before I stand up, crossing my arms in front of me.
"I want you to talk to me like a goddamn man, and admit that this is just as much your fault as it is mine." I scream, feeling my throat start to strain.
"I didn't fucking leave, Audrey. You did!" He screams back, before I roll my eyes.
"You told me to leave!" I shriek, before shoving him.
"I wasn't in my right mind, and you fucking knew that." He growls, a stern frown on him. I can tell he wants to just unleash on me, but he's holding it in.
"How was I supposed to know that, Tim?" I shout back.
"Because you know me!" He screams, the veins on the sides of his neck becoming visible. We stand for a moment, both panting, and on the verge of tears, before he looks away. "You know the last thing I would've wanted was for you to leave." He releases, pushing back emotion.
"How the hell was I supposed to know that?" I scream, growing frustrated.
"Because I fucking loved you, Audrey! I don't just stop loving you after one goddamn conversation." He screams back, finally unleashing.
"Someone who loves me wouldn't stoop as low as you did, Tim. That isn't love." I shriek, my heart pounding out of my chest. He cringes, as I turn to walk back from him. He grabs my arm, causing me to turn and punch his chest. I land hit after hit, conjuring tears out of my eyes, as he tries to catch my hands. He surprisingly pushes me back against the wall, before pinning me against it, nearly pressing himself against me. His hands touch the wall on either side of me trapping me in the middle in what seems like a power play on his part.
"Don't you ever..." He starts, before I look away. He grabs my jaw with his entire hand, turning my head to look at him. "Don't ever base what we had on that one night. That's not fair to either of us. Do you understand me?" He says sternly under his breath. I stare at him, a little blown away. I don't nod, or shake my head, or verbally agree. I simply stare back at him. He looks down at my lips, making me cringe.
"Tim, if you dare kiss me, I will hate you for the rest of my life." I snarl back, causing him to look down. I shove him back before walking out of the room.