My understanding of the universe is pretty basic. I don't believe in fate, but I do believe in everything working together to form a bigger picture. I don't care about the reason behind the sun crossing the sky, or that we're all made of little particles. I think it's more fun to leave some things as mysteries that need unraveling. That same reasoning applies to human logic, I suppose. I'm not interested in how someone did something, but I'm interested in why. I don't care if doing certain things is possible; I want to know how many other people are wishing for those things. That's why, although it's no surprise that Coach Harasawa and Coach Watanabe managed to work out my schedule completely, I'm still curious as to why they'd go so far for me.
"Whatcha holdin'?" Satsuki asks as I look at the printed calendar in my hands. I'm in the middle of transferring these dates onto my iPod so it can remind me when they come up, and I can post this in my planner or on my fridge.
"A schedule." I say, finishing the last two dates and putting my iPod away. "Did you want to look at it?" Satsuki shakes her head, her eyes closing as she smiles.
"Nope! If it's important, you can tell me about it later. I was just wondering what it was that made you finally smile for the first time in a month." I glance up at the pinkette in surprise.
"I have too smiled this month!" I reply vehemently. Satsuki shakes her head.
"Nope! This is the first smile I've seen out of you since-" since my brother gave you that envelope? Satsuki's eyes seem tired.
"Don't tell me I worried you..." I say with a frown. Satsuki just offers me a smile. "Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Everything's gonna work itself out, so don't stress." Satsuki laughs.
"I should be saying that to you." She replies pleasantly. "So why are you so happy?" I gnaw on my lip.
"Promise not to get angry?" I reply, glancing up at her hopefully. She nods. "I kinda checked out that softball coach you texted to me and I maybe talked with him and he possibly talked to Coach Harasawa whom then may have come up with a schedule so I might possibly play both softball and basketball." Satsuki's eyes are wide, pink, surprised. Then they return to normal.
"Was Akashi-kun okay with that?" She asks, tilting her head. I nod.
"Akashi just told me to keep up. I've done it before. I can balance school and work." Satsuki just smiles at me.
"Well, that's good." She replies. "What about... in middle school Akashi always got concerned when you had games because you'd get hurt so often. Can you cut down on those this time around?" I look up at the pinkette.
"For sure. It's not like I haven't played at all between middle school and now. I've improved a bit, ya know!" I say playfully, holding the schedule out to her. "Take a look. I should be there for every game." Satsuki laughs lightly before taking it from me and looking over it.
"Are you sure that you can actually balance work and school with this schedule? It looks a little brutal..." She replies. I scratch the back of my head and shrug.
"The coaches made it. I did tell them I have work after practice so I can't stay late, but if they think I can do this, I'll do it. I'm not one to disappoint." I reply cheekily. Satsuki just sighs and shakes her head.
"And if you've bitten off more than you can chew?" She asks with a single slender eyebrow raised. I shrug.
"Then I'll come out and say it." I reply flatly. "If I cannot do both sports, if I cannot balance school with work, sports with academics, I will choose one over the other." Satsuki frowns slightly. "I don't know what I'll decide, but I'll definitely think it through carefully."
"Yo, Alex!" Daiki says as he enters the classroom. "I dropped by your place and there was a weird cologne or something. You trying a new perfume or something?" I frown slightly.
"No." My eyes widen with realization. "Actually, Kagami was over for a bit when you were gone. It might've been his." Daiki frowns slightly.
"That dimwit was in ou- your apartment?" I do catch Daiki's rapid amendment.
"Just for a little while. I fell into a pool and he just walked home with me and made sure everything was okay." I feel kind of bad for twisting the truth, but one night doesn't mean anything. We both fell asleep in the living room, I woke up first, and Kagami was out the door by noon.
"You fell into a pool?" Daiki's eyes are wide, shocked, maybe even a little mortified. "What happened?" I try to think of a way to smudge the truth without lying.
"It was an accident. Someone bumped into me and there was a pool and water and I just sort of fell in." I reply.
"Bumped into you, or pushed you in?" Daiki asks, his eyes narrowed as he leans against my desk. I try my best not to shift awkwardly. I don't like to lie.
"They literally just ran into me, okay?" I answer a little too snappily. "It's done with, anyway. I got pulled out of the pool and everything's fine now." Water rushing over me. Bubbles brushing my face. I can't see. Daiki leans in a little too close and stares at me intensely. The blue of his eyes seems darker than usual today. Dark, and deep, and searching for answers I'm not giving.
"You need to learn to swim." Daiki says, standing and stretching before he takes his seat behind me. "Unless you enjoy having near-death experiences." I fidget in my seat before stretching out my legs before me.
"Yeah, I'm working on it." I say cheerlessly.
"So what's with the paper?" He asks, leaning forward to peer over my shoulder at it. "Softball? You're playing that again?" I nod.
"Yeah. It's not like I'm dropping basketball or anything. I'm just going to do both." I reply. "Besides, the coach seems nice and I heard the players all have good attitudes, so what's to lose?" Daiki pulls a face.
"Ugh, that means one of us has to make sure you don't get yourself killed, like you almost did last year." He groans, leaning back once more as I turn in my seat to face him. I hide my irked expression.
"I'm more than capable of taking care of myself, Daiki. Nobody has to worry about it. A few bruises won't kill me, ya know. I'm not an amateur." I reply coolly, my eyes narrowed. Daiki gives me a most dubious glance before shrugging.
"Whatever. Do what you like." He replies. I hide an amused glance.
"I would have done it regardless of your opinion, you know." Blue eyes regard me with a calculating gaze.
"Yeah. I know." I wonder if Kagami is actually willing to teach me?
Basketball activities pass in their usual blur. "Nice work today." I call as I head toward the gym doors.
"Hai-chan, you aren't changing clothes?" Satsuki asks as I shoulder my bag and tighten my shoes. I shake my head.
"Nah, I promised someone I'd help 'em out. Changing into a cute lil' skirt and blouse ain't gonna cut it for what I gotta do. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I'm about to bounce out when Imayoshi calls my name. I look to him in response.
"You and I need to talk after practice tomorrow, got it?" He calls, adjusting his glasses. I nod.
"Sure thing, Shouichi!" I reply. "I gotta bounce-"
"Hai-chan!" Satsuki says at what is probably top volume. "You can't do that anymore! You're in high school now!" I stare at her in surprise.
"What did I do?" I ask with confusion, hesitating as I open the door and get a faceful of frigid air.
"You can't just call people by their first names, Hai-chan!" I blink in surprise.
"But I call you and Daiki and the others by your first names." I reply with further hesitation. "It's normal to do that."
"We've been over this, Hai-chan." Satsuki says with a long-suffering sigh. "It might be normal at home for you, but here it's really personal! Plus the others and I are closer to you, so it's okay with them, but you still aren't particularly close with-"
"Satsuki, let me tell you something. Imayoshi took me to a doctor. Wakamatsu's carried me several times. Sakurai filled out my medical history form completely on his own. I can't think of many things more personal than that." I reply. "If they tell me they're uncomfortable with me calling them on a first-name basis, then I'll stop. Frankly, I don't particularly like the name 'Hai', but I use it because for some reason 'Heights' is ridiculously difficult for Japanese speakers. I don't even dream of anyone besides Daiki and Seijuurou calling me Alex."
"So, what did Alex do this time?" Daiki says as he enters the gym, a bored expression on his face as he leans against the doorframe.
"Aomine-kun!" Satsuki says urgently. "Hai-chan's going back to calling people by their first names again!" Daiki raises an eyebrow at me before shrugging.
"Okay." He replies. "So?" Satsuki nearly face-faults. I shift from foot to foot.
"I'm gonna be laaaate, Satsuki. Or would you prefer Momoi?" Satsuki gives me a rough sigh.
"Fine, fine. Go ahead and leave." I don't waste another minute before brushing past Daiki and telling him I'll probably get home a little late and then taking off. My phone buzzes awkwardly in my hand. Yo, you ready? You don't have to do it if you don't want to. -Kagami
I said I wanted to, didn't I? I can't back out now. -Hai The streets pass in a dizzying blur as I make my way through the usual throngs of people toward Maiji Burger, my so-called meeting spot. Sorry if I'm late. Satsuki yelled at me for calling someone by their first name. -Hai
You call people by their first name? -Kagami I narrowly dodge being run over by several groups of teenagers.
I suppose that now's not a good time to tell you I do, and that I pretty much call you Taiga in my head. -Hai I finally find myself under the giant Maiji Burger sigh, a little ways away from the door, as Kagami jogs toward me. "So you're sure?" He asks, tilting his head. I nod several times.
"As long as you don't push me in again." I say half-jokingly. Kagami offers me a grin.
"Sure. I won't push you in this time." He replies fluidly as I start walking to cut down on the distance a little more. "We're going to the same place." I nod a few times, stepping beside him and walking to match his pace. The walk to the pool is a silent one, where my stomach flutters anxiously and my palms begin to sweat.
The inside of the building is better lit this time around, and while I can just barely recognize the kanji on the door, I can't seem to pronounce it correctly. "In we go." Kagami says, pushing me through the door once I start to balk. I keep my mouth clamped shut so I don't say anything I'd otherwise regret, but I don't manage to keep myself moving forward. I stumble into the awaiting room. "Right." Kagami says, crossing his arms and staring at the intimidating pool of water. "You got a bathing suit on under that, or do you need to go change?" I glance away.
"I have it on under." I respond as I shift from foot to foot. Kagami nods before pulling off his shirt and jacket and leaving them tossed over his bag. I slip out of my basketball clothes and fold them neatly on my backpack. "So..."
"Let's just try walking in, okay?" Kagami says, noting the dubious way I glance at the water. "Just walk down the steps and try and get waist-deep. You don't need to go any further." I nod and begin to tiptoe my way into the pool.
The water seems as slimy and repulsive as always, gliding past me in a way that almost reminds me of snakes and other scaly creatures. The water is clear though. It distorts the way my feet look. It's also more than a little cold, and makes chills run up and down my arms as the water embraces my torso. I don't let my arms dip into the water. "See? It's not so bad." Kagami says as he sloshes in next to me. His rough movements cause a wave of water to splash against my upper back. Cool air makes me shiver.
"If you say so. " I mumble unhappily. Kagami grabs my arm and tugs me closer to the deep end.
"Let's go a little further." He says. The water rises to mid-chest, and my heart starts to race. I can still stand with my head well above the water, which I make myself believe is a good thing, but the slickness of the water is making my skin crawl. "Just a little more." The water is now up to my shoulders, and I try to lock myself in place.
"T-This is far enough." I say, my voice sounding more panicked than I'd like. "L-Let's just stop he-here." Red eyes stare at me intensely, their gaze narrowed as if guessing what thoughts are racing through my head. At least my body has adjusted to the temperature of the water. I don't feel cold anymore, but that doesn't really make the water any more pleasant than before. I push down the urge to extract myself from the pool.
"Okay." Kagami says gently. "This is far enough for now. I thought you'd stop earlier." I glance away from him and try to suppress the heat rising to my face.
"It's not like I didn't want to." I mutter. It feels strange, to be weightless in water. I can only seem to move in slow motion. My every movement is met with resistance on the water's behalf. "But I... don't want to go any deeper."
"Okay." Kagami says. "Before you learn to swim, you actually need to be comfortable being in water. Why don't you try ducking your head under? You can stand here, so it should be okay." I study the redhead's face, looking for any trace of doubt or any lack of confidence.
"S-Sure." I do try to bring myself to duck my head under water. I gnaw on my lower lip, staring down at my not-so-firmly placed feet, and try to work up the courage to dip below the surface. It doesn't work. It really doesn't work. All that changes is that instead of me staring at the edge of the pool or Kagami, I'm now staring at the surface of the water and feeling repulsed by the idea of it covering my head, even momentarily. Five minutes seem to pass this way. "I can't." I say, refusing to look at the previously confident redhead. "I can't do it."
"You can." He responds. Kagami moves a little closer to me. "Try it." I shake my head. I can't do it, I don't want to. I don't want something that can actually kill me to keep me from breathing. I'm not willing to flirt with death this time around. "Watch." Kagami says. I turn my gaze on him and watch as I dip below the surface of the pool without so much as a second's hesitation. He stays there for a while, a few seconds, before coming back up and looking at me. Dark strands of hair cling to his forehead.
I bite my lip a little harder. "Kagami, I can't." I say quietly. "I can't make myself do it." Kagami examines my face.
"Do you trust me?" He asks suddenly, grabbing my face in his hands. My eyes go wide with surprise.
"W-What?" I ask, unable to move. My body tenses. The warmth of his hands feels wonderful against my skin, and the roughness of his hands somehow feels comforting.
"Do you trust me?" He asks. I nod. "Say it."
"I trust you." I whisper, startled by the intensity of his gaze.
"Again."
"I trust you." Kagami nods.
"Good. Now, you gotta trust me, okay? You're not going to like this." All I can focus on is the red of Kagami's eyes, the way they look so focused and determined and confident, but somehow underneath all I can see is a little bit of fear and a lot of confusion. The frown that pulls at his brow looks like one of concern. "Trust me, okay? I won't let anything happen to you."
"Okay." I whisper. "Okay." His face nears mine until his forehead rests against mine.
"Close your eyes." I do as I'm told, closing my eyes nervously as the water reaches higher and higher, stopping at my chin.
"Kagami..." I say nervously, wanting to pull away from him. "The water..."
"Keep your eyes closed, Alex." Kagami says. The heat of his skin spreads across my upper face. My breath shudders past my lips. "Just trust me." We slide down lower and lower, until the water is just below my nose and I can barely breathe. "Take a deep breath through your nose." I'll be obedient this time around, but only because I can't name anyone else who'd go to such lengths for me. I take the deepest breath possible.
Down, down we go, until the water is almost at the top of my head. Then, with just another inch, the water is over my head. For a moment, everything seems like it'll be okay. Then I start to think.