Life isn't easy. Life for Stiles Stilinski wasn't easy. Whether it was the stress from the supernatural, the financial struggles that him and his dad were having, or even his god damn anxiety. It was all just too hard. But Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N made everything seem worth it. That everything was going to be okay as long as he had her right by his side.
Their relationship was practically perfect. They started out as best friends from childhood, but then they slowly became something more. She looked at him like he was the stars and he looked at her like she was the sun. Stiles and Y/N adored each other, there was no doubt about that.
"If you're that tired I can take you upstairs" Stiles' calming voice pulled Y/N from the sleep she was drifting into.
Y/N turned over in his arms, laying her head on his beating heart and the movement caused the hammock to sway slightly. This is where they spent most of their time. California was usually warm and beautiful outside so they'd just lay in the hammock that was in Y/N's backyard. "I'm not tired. I'm just resting my eyes."
He chuckled when a yawn escaped her mouth. "You're a liar, you know that?"
"Okay, I'm tired. I just want to lay here. Everything's perfect." Y/N smiled in content. The warm, summer wind blew and warmed Y/N's body. The sound of Stiles' heart beating and the birds chirping made her happy. Even the smell of the freshly cut, green grass lingered in her nose and painted a permanent memory in her brain. "Will you just lay here with me?"
Stiles' arm pulled her closer to his body and he hummed in agreement. His eyes fluttered closed and his long, slender fingers traced indecipherable patterns on her summer sun kissed skin. "I love you, Stiles." Y/N whispered right before she fell into a peaceful sleep. She figured Stiles was sleeping when she said those four words. He hadn't moved or said anything in about twenty minutes, but she needed to say it even if he never heard it.
But he was on the edge of falling into a slumber when the words ran through his ears and fluttered in his heart. He didn't open his eyes, he didn't have the strength to keep them from closing at the hands of fatigue. "I love you, too."
From the moment their parents saw their friendship appear, they knew that it wouldn't always be a friendship. Stiles and Y/N were a predictable pair. Total opposites, but somehow predictable. Before his wife passed away, Stiles' father told her of how Stiles looked at Y/N. Even though he was only six years old, he looked at her like she was the only thing in the room. Like she was the only thing that mattered. He could completely forget about his Star Wars action figures because this girl with two pigtails had his full attention.
Y/N's parents saw how their daughter's face lit up like a Christmas tree when she'd talk about the clumsy boy. Everyday she would come home from school and tell her mom and dad about how Stiles let her use his crayons or how she helped him make the Fruit Loop cereal necklace they made during art. The two loved each other before they even knew what love was.
When they started developing more mature feelings in tenth grade, it didn't take long for either of them to become something more than just friends. Being Scott McCall's best friend pulled Stiles into the supernatural. He did his absolute best to keep Y/N out of it. He did very good at keeping her out of it. That is until Lydia discovered she was a banshee. Y/N was also Allison and Lydia's best friend so then she became part of the crazy life they lived. Stiles and Y/N got through anything that was thrown at them together. The couple made it through the Nogitsune, the Benefactor, a pack of Alpha werewolves. Everything that happened only made their relationship grow stronger.
Stiles and Theo stood on the roof of the hospital. Theo had just killed Josh and Stiles saw the whole thing. Neither of the boys had said a word, but the air was tense and was just waiting to be cut when someone spoke. Thankfully, Theo was the one to do it.
"You can't tell Scott." Theo played off the nervous act.
"Why shouldn't I tell him?" Stiles exclaimed. He had every right to tell Scott! Not telling him could cost Stiles his best friend. It could cost him everything.
Theo smirked. "Because I'm not the only one who's killed someone."
Stiles furrowed his eyebrows and grew uneasy. "I've never killed anyone. What do you even-"
Theo cut off the boy in front of him. "Donovan. I know about Donovan."
At the mention of Donovan, Stiles noticeably tensed up. Theo knew that he had Stiles just where he wanted him. If he played his cards right, Theo would be able to tear the McCall pack apart one by one.
"H-how do you know about that?" Stiles' voice shook.
"Doesn't matter." The chimera shrugged. "I know that you don't want Scott to find out about what happened to Donovan. And I know, that you don't want her to find out. About any of this." As he spoke, Theo emphasized 'her'. Stiles would've had to have been dumb to not know who Theo was referring to.
"You stay away from her!" Stiles stepped up to Theo.
"Okay, I won't tell Scott." Theo agreed and Stiles relaxed a bit. "On one condition. You have to break up with Y/N."
Stiles' stomach dropped. "What?"
Theo smiled wickedly. "Break up with Y/N. When you do, make it hurt. Tell her you don't love her anymore. That you're bored with her. Rip her heart out."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because the only thing stronger than your hatred for me is your love for that one girl." Theo smirked and the burning hatred Stiles had for him multiplied by hundreds.
"No, please. Don't make me do this." Stiles begged of him. "I'll do anything, just don't make me hurt her. She'd never forgive me."
"It's either I tell Scott or you hurt Y/N. Take your pick."
Saying that Stiles might have to make the hardest decision of his life was an understatement. Did he want to keep his best friend or the love of his life? Scott or Y/N? Could he even handle losing Y/N? The one girl he's loved since he was just a kid. He's been in love with her for years, did he really want to give that all up? The answer was no. He couldn't give up Y/N. She couldn't know that he killed Donovan, she would see him as a monster.
Stiles spoke up weakly. "I'll do it. I'll break up with... Y/N." As the words left his mouth, he could feel his heartbreak. The imaginary string that connected Y/N and Stiles' hearts shook and sent a pain they could both feel through their bodies.
The next day, Stiles groggily pulled himself out of bed. His mood was down in the dumps all morning. He drove himself to Y/N's house not at all prepared to do what he had to do. When he pulled into the driveway, he turned off the ignition and looked up at her bedroom window. He couldn't see her, but remembered every time he climbed up the roof and knocked on the glass hoping she would be awake to comfort him after he had a particularly terrible nightmare.
He remembered when she would climb out of the window and sneak down to his jeep in the middle of the night so they could just be together. Stiles put his hands on the steering wheel and watched his slender fingers shake. The more her thought of what he was losing, the more he started to feel a dull ache. Every muscle in his body tightened up and his chest seemed to get heavier. He was having a panic attack. Stiles started to think of how he got through his panic attacks. He would think of Y/N and her soothing voice.
"Relax, Stiles. You're okay. It's all going to be okay. Just breathe, baby." Her words echoed in his head and his breathing started to even out once again. He leaned his head back against the headrest and he closed his eyes, letting the warm tears sting his eyes. For a few moments, he sat in his seat and tried to collect himself. Once he put himself together the best he could, he got out of the jeep and walked up the driveway to the front door.
Instead of knocking, he just walked in like he always did. His feet took him up the stairs unwillingly and before he knew it, he was at the doorframe of Y/N's room. He knocked on the door softly and saw Y/N turn to face him. The moment her eyes landed on him, her heartbeat started to get faster. A smile shamelessly took over her beautiful face. He didn't smile back, but instead watched her walk towards him.
"I missed you yesterday." Y/N smiled as she stood in front of Stiles. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss, their lips met and all Stiles could feel was pain. The usual spark that happened when they kissed was numbed out by the intense emotional pain his heart was suffering through. His eyes squeezed shut and he leaned his forehead against hers as he deepened the kiss.
The two pulled away and Y/N bit her bottom lip. "So, what do you want to do today? I've completed all my studying and I'm all yours for the day."
"Y/N, we need to talk." The tone in Stiles' usual happy and uplifting voice was downplayed by hurt and sadness. A sudden uneasy feeling unraveled itself in her stomach. She gulped and nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him to sit next to her at the window seat in her room.
"What's going on, Stiles?" She asked anxiously as they sat. Stiles pulled his hands from hers and wiped the clamminess on his pants. He didn't say anything, but Y/N knew it wasn't good. "Stiles, talk to me."
A few moments passed before he spoke up. "I'm breaking up with you." He whispered.
In that moment, Y/N's ears began to ring. It seemed as if she heard something shatter and pieces clatter against each other. The air was sucked out of her lungs. An uncomfortable lump rose in her throats and she tried her best to push it back down. "W-what?" Y/N cleared her throat so she could hide the hurt that was coursing through her veins in that very moment. "What?"
"I'm breaking up with you." Her eyes met his and he had a plain look on his face. His face seemed as if all the happiness and warmness in his heart disappeared. He seemed cold.
"Did I do something wrong? Because if I did, I'm so sorry, Stiles."
"No. You don't make me happy anymore. I don't want to be with you." Each word felt like thorns piercing her heart. Everything he was saying was a complete lie and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and tell her how he was lying.
"I don't love you." That particular phrase completely broke them both. Stiles saw just how much he was breaking the girl in front of him. He saw that every word he said damaged her in a way no weapon possibly could. Each time she tried to breathe, her lungs rejected the need. She'd only ever heard what heartbreak was like, she never thought she'd have to feel it. Especially not with a man like Stiles who loves... loved her with everything he was. No pain could ever compare to what she was feeling right now.
Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before. She would try to get the feeling of happiness back, but she couldn't even remember how it felt to not be broken. How it felt to not have a throbbing heart every single second of the day. She couldn't remember how it felt to be even the slightest bit happy. What hurts the most is being so close to someone and having so many feelings for them that you can't even explain it then watching it all walk away.
Days would pass and things would remain completely changed. Stiles was broken just as much as Y/N was. He hurt the one girl that he had always loved in a way that was unforgivable. It's one thing to hurt someone physically, but the moment you hurt someone emotionally, there's going back. Every time he closed his eyes, he thought of the look on her face when he told her the biggest lie, that he didn't love her. All the hurt in the world couldn't compare to what Y/N looked like.
Her cheeks were red and stained with her tears. Her normally beautifully lit eyes had been dulled by heartbreak. Uneven breaths fell from her mouth and Stiles did his best not to fall apart in front of her. This had to seem real, but it was so hard. This was the hardest decision he'd ever made.
Every aspect of his life had involved her in some way, whether it was sleeping, studying, or laying in their favorite hammock in the sun, she was with him. His bed had an uncomfortable coldness that he didn't know existed until she was gone. Stiles would dream of her and they seemed so real, when he'd touch her or when she laughed, it all felt real. He would wake up in tears when he realized he no longer had the company of his best friend. His one true love. His soulmate. Once you get a taste of what it's like to sleep in the arms of someone you love, sleeping alone is never enough.
And Y/N. It was as if she was gone. The fire that lit her personality had been blown out by four words. Everything that made Y/N herself disappeared. Her happiness, her kindness, her smile, her laugh, it all left when Stiles did. She wasn't herself. As depressing and cliché as it sounded, Stiles was all the best parts of her. He made her happy in a way that no one could, he made her want to be what she usually was, but now that he was gone, what's the point? How does one be happy when the light and happiness in their life left and took everything they had with them?
She'd grown cold, hardly left her house. Hell, she hardly left her room. Lydia, Kira, and Malia were frequent visitors, but Y/N was never happy to have company when she was in such a state. Lydia was her best friend in the whole world and Y/N would hardly talk to her. Eventually, she started going to school again. It'd been two weeks since Stiles had left Y/N broken-hearted in her room and school didn't even seem possible. The only reason her grades were still perfectly intact because her and Lydia stayed back a year.
Y/N called Lydia Tuesday morning and Lydia drove over to pick her up for school. Lydia treated her as she normally did. She would talk about shopping and boys just as she usually did because she knew that Y/N didn't want to be treated with kid gloves. It was her first day back and the moment she walked through the door, everyone stopped and looked at her. Stiles and Y/N were practically the school's power couple and when people heard the couple broke up, it shocked the whole school.
Lydia stood next to her proudly, she knew what it was like to be talked about in a negative way. Y/N took a deep breath and walked towards her locker, eyes following her every movement. Malia and Kira came to stand next to Lydia as they watched her walk down the hall. "Keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't see Stiles." Lydia mumbled and Malia and Kira nodded.
The rest of the day went on fine. Stiles had heard that his ex-girlfriend was back at school. Even though he was hurting, he continued going to school; he had to make the situation look believable. Stiles was rude and obnoxious all day. Scott had finally had enough of it.
Scott dragged him to the locker room. "Stiles, you need to calm down."
"I'm perfectly fine." Stiles snapped.
"No, you're not." Scott sighed. "You've really rude today. What's going on?" Scott looked him in the eyes softly.
Stiles looked away because he knew that everything would spill out if he looked at his best friend. "Nothing. It's none of your business."
"That's bull. You've been like this since you broke up with-"
"Don't say it." Stiles cut his friend off.
"Since you broke up with Y/N." He said so quietly he wasn't sure Stiles had heard. But Stiles didn't need supernatural hearing to hear what he said. The six words rang through his ears and did enough damage on his heart to last a lifetime. Stiles fell back against the wall and slid down so he was sitting on the floor. He played with his fingers, not knowing what else to say.
"I'm not going to ask what happened between you guys because it's none of my business, but I'm going to ask what happened to you today. You've been somewhat fine since everything happened."
"Everyone in the pack hates me, Scott." Stiles mumbled.
"No they don't. Why would you say that?"
"Because I broke her heart. I did the one thing I promised I would never do." Stiles looked at Scott. "I hurt her, Scott."
"Why'd you do it?" Scott queried.
Stiles gulped and tried to slow his heart down before he lied. "Because I don't love her anymore." The words pierced Stiles' heart as they rolled off his tongue.
Scott's eyes widened at the confession. He listened to his heart as he spoke and it was normal until he said 'her'. That's when the slightest jump was heard, and Scott knew that what Stiles had just told him was a lie.
Another few weeks had passed and every time Y/N and Stiles' eyes met each other in the halls, it didn't last long. Y/N would quickly break contact and turn back to whoever she was talking to, playing it off as if she didn't see him. Everyone in the pack watched the exchanges and they couldn't help but feel confused.
They'd all heard what happened by now, but how could Stiles not love Y/N anymore? They'd spent years pining after each other, Stiles spent years loving her unconditionally and he just threw that all away. It just didn't seem right.
Scott stood by Kira's locker as he talked to her about everything going on with the chimeras. They watched Y/N walk past them after she shot a small smile their way. Stiles was at his locker with his now permanent somber expression. When he looked up, he caught sight of the Y/H/C haired girl. She didn't seem him, which made Stiles kind of thankful. If she had seen him, she would've left in a hurry.
Kira and Scott watched him look at her like she was the only thing in the world. He looked at her as if she put the stars in the sky and lit up the day with her smile. To him, she did. Scott smelt the yearning and wretchedness roll off of him in waves. Kira spoke up.
"He still loves her doesn't he?" Kira leaned back against the locker and watched Stiles look at Y/N from down the hall.
"Stiles doesn't have to tell me he still loves her, I already know. He wouldn't ever stop loving her. He loved her before he knew what love was. They're good for each other."
"Why do you think he did what he did?" She looked up at him. Scott looked to Y/N and saw the broken look on her face that she couldn't hide from him.
Scott shook his head. "I honestly don't know, Kira. I don't know." He whispered.
Eventually Scott would find out about what caused everything. He found out about Donovan, Theo not being who he said he was. He learned the truth about Stiles breaking up with Y/N. Even though this whole situation put a strain on Scott and Stiles' friendship, they built it back up and were as strong as ever.
Y/N learned of what happened to Donovan and how Stiles was involved. She was shocked, but her love for him didn't waver. Y/N would probably always love Stiles. He could break her heart, but she wouldn't never stop loving him. He might not have loved her anymore, but she still cared for him deeply.
What was stopping Stiles from going to Y/N and just telling her everything he said was a lie? That he really did love her and it hurt to know she wasn't his anymore? The fear of rejection. What if she hated him? She hadn't talked to him in the time of them being broken up and maybe he'd hurt her so much that she couldn't find a way to love him again.
Y/N decided that she needed to move on. She couldn't spend the rest of her life alone because she was pining after a man who didn't love her like she did him. She needed closure. One day, she drove to his house and decided to confront him.
Slowly, she made her way up the front steps and looked at the door. Y/N gulped and took a deep breath before knocking three times.
The door swung open after a few seconds to reveal the boy himself. His eyes widened when he saw her. Never had he thought that she'd be the one at his door. "Y/N... w-what are you doing here?"
"I came to talk to you. I need to say something." She played with her fingers absently.
"Uh, yeah. Come on in." He opened the door wider and she hesitated before letting her boot step over the line of the door. Stiles closed the door behind her and followed her to the living room. They both sat down on the couch. The air was thick with awkwardness before any of them spoke.
"What did you want to talk about?" Stiles mumbled.
"I still love you, Stiles." She admitted. "I know, I know. It's pathetic of me to love someone who doesn't love me back, but I do. I'll probably always love you if we're being honest. But I need to move on. I can't spend the rest of my life pining over you. I need closure."
Stiles watched her bottom lip quiver as she spoke, but her voice was still strong. "In order for me to do that, I need you to tell me you love me. You don't have to mean it, but I need it. Just say you love me and I'm out of your life... forever."
"I don't want to do that." Stiles shook his head.
Y/N began to beg. "Please. I need you to do this one thing for me. Stiles, please. You don't have to mean it. You don't have to mean the words."
Stiles gave in and his eyes burned with tears. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."
She thought the words would give her closure, but it did the complete opposite. She was still in love with him. In that moment, it was obvious that it might take a lifetime to get over Stiles Stilinski.
"Thank you, Stiles." She whispered and stood up from the couch. She began to walk towards the front door, her pace quick. Y/N felt like she had to get out of there. If she didn't, she'd burst into tears in front of him.
"Do you really think I don't mean it?" His voice stopped her from walking another step away from him. Her feet stopped moving and she stood still, waiting for what else he had to say. "You can't really believe that I don't mean it."
Slowly, she turned to face him. While she was turned, Stiles had stood up from his spot on the couch. "What did you just say?" Her voice broke.
"I love you, Y/N. I love you so much that looking at you right now hurts me. Looking at you so broken and hurt because of me hurts me, Y/N. I promised you that I'd never break your heart, that I would always, always love you. I kept only one of those promises. I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain. I'll never forgive myself for doing what I did." Stiles took a few steps closer to her, but he wasn't close enough to grab her hand or touch her.
"Stiles, what do you mean?" She asked nervously.
"I'm trying to say that I love you. I love everything about you. Your eyes and how they sparkle when you look at me. When you try to keep your eyelids from falling shut when you're tired. I love that your smile is so infectious. When I'm around you, all I want to do is smile. That little giggle you have when we wake up in the mornings and my little bit of stubble is tickling the skin on your neck. I love the look you get when you see a dog on the street. I love that when I kiss you, you gasp before my lips can touch yours. I love everything about, Y/N. I loved you then and I love you now."
"I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to find away to keep myself sane without you telling me you love me at all moments of the day. Or how I'm going to start waking up happy in the mornings with a cold bed because the one girl I love more that life itself is gone. I fucked up, Y/N. I get that. I get that now that I've hurt you, you won't ever look at me the same again. But that's what I have to say. Before you leave me forever, you need to know that I never stopped loving you. No matter how hard I try, I'll be unsuccessful." By now, Stiles was standing right in front of her. Tears fell from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Wet stains left their mark and Stiles couldn't help but think even her weakest state, she looked like an angel.
"You're wrong, Stiles. You said I can't look at you the same, but you're wrong. I still look at you like you're the only thing in the room. Whenever I see you, I can't help but feel my heart beat go fast and pound against my rib cage." Y/N grabbed his hand and placed it on her chest, right over her heart. Stiles could feel the strong beats from over her chest. She really did love him, and that made hurting her so bad even worse. "Do you feel that? Can't you feel what you do to me? How you make me feel?"
"I'm so sorry for ever hurting you." Stiles sobbed. "And don't say it's okay, because it's not. Everything's different now and it's all my fault."
Y/N sniffled. "Stiles, please. I have everything out on the table right now. You're giving me a million reasons to let you go, but I want to stay. Please, just let me stay."
"I love you, Y/N and you of all people deserve a happy ending."
"Then give that to me. The only way I'm getting that is if I'm with you." She mumbled. Stiles nodded and softly pressed his lips against hers. Their salty tears mixed together as they shared the gesture. The unease that had been living in Stiles was replaced with calmness. The anxiety he'd had from this whole situation had disappeared in a single touch. All because of her.