A couple hours later after I bathed my kids & laid them down, I walked in the guest room Prod was in. In no way had I forgiven him yet, but I need his advice. He's the only person that I ever confided in enough to listen to the advice he'd often given me. He looked over at me standing in the door way & I could tell he was surprised to see me. I walked over to his window ledge, sat down, leaned back, & just stared out of the window trying to find the words today.
Prod- I'm surprised to see you in here.
He caught me off guard when he spoke & I jumped & looked over at him. He had pain in his eyes. I knew he was upset with the terms our relationship was on but it was his fault. I finally built up enough nerve to answer back.
Me- I need your advice.
Prod(wide eyed)-about what?
Me- Chris & Roc.
He nodded. I was almost positive he knew that's what it was.
Prod- you stuck on who to choose?
Me(deep sigh)- yea.
Prod- ok well first off, let's outweigh the bads & the goods.
I started to think a little. This should be pretty easy.
Me- ok Chris was the one who took me in when I left you guys. He helped me with Lili til mommy moved here. He supported me & he was there for me but he doesn't wanna be serious.
He nodded, motioning for me to continue.
Me(deep sigh)- & Roc... He's my kids father. I want my children to have a real family. But he hurt me so bad so many times & I don't deserve that... But he's the one I'm in love with.
He looked away for a second, obviously trying to find the right words to say.
Prod- I think you should give Chris a chance. I mean, I know you want your kids to have a real family & if Chris took all of yall in AND took care of yall, he basically takes the role as the father which means you can still have "a real family." But with Roc, if you can't get past the fact he cheated, there's no reason to take him back. What I can tell you though is, finish your experience with Chris considering the fact that you've been there & done that with Roc. If Chris doesn't work out, that's when you go back to Roc. But as if now, you need to just look forward & don't worry about what's behind you.
I stared at him. Damn. He said that very well. I sat there for a second & my mind was completely made up. I'll wait until tomorrow to put my plan into action. I stood up & walked over to Prod & gave him a hug. You could tell he was surprised but he hugged me back & kissed my cheek. I went back to my room & felt pretty good about the decision I made & my talk with Prod. Tomorrow is gonna be a great day. I can truly feel it.
Ok guys. This will be the last update for a little while. Maybe a week or so! I'm trying to get more views & votes before I update again.
Also, I need to give myself a chance to catch up with my writing because I hate to have to update on the spot then get writers block -_-
So share, comment, vote, fan, all that (good) shit :)
Stay mindless!
Love,
-Ci