AFTER
Clarke sat outside, waiting for her parents to finish up with Al. She hoped it would be enough to send that despicable woman, Sydney, to her final moments before being floated. Being floated wasn't good enough for her, not by a long shot, not when she had killed her friends.
She took a lap around the patients recovering, and then another, and another. She wasn't sure if she was walking because she wanted to or because she just needed to keep moving lest she forget how to altogether. One part of her wanted to go find Murphy but the other couldn't bear to leave her friends when their lives all hung in the limbo...just waiting for them to wake up, to be okay.
She passed by where Fox and Sterling were. Luckily, they weren't as close to the blast as some others. They had been just walking near the meeting room when it happened. Fox sustained burns all along her left side and Sterling got his head bashed pretty hard against the wall when the bomb went off, but they were perhaps the least scathed... if that was even something to be happy about, in comparison.
She saw Fox stirring. They'd both been put on morphine, but decided that their wounds were minor enough to not need to be put in a medically induced coma. She first groaned, and Clarke was by her side immediately.
"Fox? Hey, it's Clarke..." Clarke said in a quiet, soothing voice, "You okay? You were in an accident, but you're fine now..." Clarke's lip quivered. She remembered there was going to be people she'd never get to say that too.
"Sterling?" Fox whispered, "Where's...Sterling?" She whispered, using all his strength to mutter his name.
"He's here, right next to you..." Clarke said, helping her turn over to face him. She reached out trying to find the space between their beds to his hand. Clarke picked up his hand, not as cold and clammy as she thought it would be, but alive and full of blood, and helped it bridge the gap.
"Sterling," Fox whispered quietly, her eyes fluttering open, hardly even concerned with anything but him.
Sterling groaned, and Clarke saw his hand tense around hers.
"F...ox?" He whispered back, "Are you okay?"
"I think so..." Fox managed back, finding her voice once again, "Are you?"
"I'm alive, aren't I?" He gave a lazy grin back, his eyes traveling up and down the gauze covering nearly her entire body.
"What the hell happened?" He asked.
"A bomb," Clarke broke in. It warmed her heart to see them rely on each other so tenderly, that kind of love couldn't be faked, best friends or lovers. It was one of the only pure things she'd seen today, "Ana help put it off. She betrayed us." Saying Ana's name, forcing it out her throat felt like spitting up tar. It hurt to say. It hurt her whole body to admit that someone she thought she knew had the ability to devastate all of them like that. She didn't say Al. She wasn't sure what his role in all this was, not yet. But they knew it was Ana. They all knew it was Ana.
"Matt's goddaughter..." Fox suddenly said, although Clarke didn't know whom she was talking about, "Adrian. She was in the room with us. She's six, is she okay?"
Clarke felt her heart drop to the bottom of her chest. All she knew was that a six-year-old hadn't been wheeled in and that there were some deceased. It was easy to put it together. She gave a slow shake of her head. Fox didn't hold back her rasping sob, and Sterling looked sick.
"Clarke! We could use you in here, your friend is going mental!" One of the older doctors called.
"Who? Monroe?" Sterling said hopefully.
"Raven," Clarke answered, "She was shot." She sent a look that promised the pair that she'd explain it later and fled back into the room Raven had been treated in.
"Clarke, what the hell is wrong with my leg?" Raven demanded when she saw Clarke, "Why can't I feel it? What happened?"
Clarke took her friend's hand gently. "Raven, I need to tell you something.
RIGHT AFTER THE BLAST
Bellamy thundered through the halls, running in the opposite direction of everyone streaming away from where the blast had come from. Halfway there, Bellamy felt a rock in the pit of his stomach as he realized where the smoke was coming from.
The hall leading to their meeting place was like a scene from a sci-fi movie gone wrong. It looked like a giant monster had come down and scooped out the walls, bit off the wires and threw the pieces all back. There was the smell of metal burning, like copper in his mouth, the smell of fires still flaring, and the worst thing-, which Bellamy had never smelled before but knew exactly what it was the moment the smell hit his nose- the smell of flesh burning.
He found himself standing in piles of rubble where he thought their meeting room once was. It was hard to tell, with so much destruction. It was hard to tell that this had once been anything, really.
He saw Fox near the entrance, and saw the burns that ran up her side like a crater on the earth's surface. She had been so beautiful, so dainty and perfect. Some of these burns would never heal. He leaned down, saw she was breathing and kept moving. He knew that doctors would be right on his a tail and Bellamy was on a mission. On a mission for truth, justice, or revenge...he wasn't sure right now.
As soon as Ana had been announced missing and the bomb went off, Bellamy knew that it had been her. He'd been groomed as a guardsman to make these connections and would bet anything that if he found her here it would confirm it.
And there she was, in the back, bleeding from all over...but hell, she was still alive.
Bellamy paced for a second, angry and unable to form what to do. He saw something sitting loosely in her fingers and pried it from her. It was a gun, which was a rare thing indeed.
If one could imagine, guns and a metal ball hurdling through space didn't mix well. The guard had guns, but little known fact was that they were instructed to basically never actually shoot them. They usually never had to; people could be overcome with other means. Bellamy had never actually had to shoot a person in all his years as a guard, and Sergeant Miller confirmed the same...and he'd been on the guard a helluva lot longer. Even so, he'd had years of practice before he was even allowed to carry a gun. Citizens weren't supposed to have them, not working ones, at least. It was too risky.
He saw something engraved on the side. The name made his mouth go dry and his body seize with fury.
"Shumway," He spat. He'd always know there was something off about that guy, something weird. This must have been a family heirloom. There was pretty much only one way it was in the hands of Ana, if Shumway was working on this too. He thought back and realized that he saw someone that looked like Shumway lying dead, undeniably dead, in the wreckage but hadn't thought much of it. Bellamy didn't think Ana orchestrated this whole thing; she didn't have the means, so whoever killed Shumway was tying up loose ends.
Bellamy wasn't sad to see him go.
He checked the barrel, one single bullet left. But it had been used. He wondered whom on?
There came a quiet moan from Ana. Bellamy zeroed in on her. She came to, blinking around and shook her head.
"No...no...shit," She muttered to herself.
"What? You didn't mean to blow up a whole hallway?" Bellamy asked unkindly, fury pounding through his veins.
"Bellamy," Ana gasped, as though she was just seeing him, "No, I was meant to be a martyr. I was supposed to die with this." She said firmly. Bellamy hadn't been expecting that. He'd expected her to blubber, pretend she was innocent.
"Why?" He demanded, "And who helped you."
"You know you'll never get me to tell." Ana gave him a dark smile, "But, someone like me who wasn't going to sit here and let people with too much power make pawns out of us, Bellamy. Don't you see? You're playing into their game."
"Their?"
"The whole fucking council. God, how are you so blind?" Ana asked, looking at Bellamy for the first time ever like he was an imbecile and an unwanted bug.
"So this is your answer?" Bellamy shouted, waving the gun, "Killing people?" He asked.
"I'm a revolutionary, Bellamy." Ana said, completely convinced.
"You have a daughter, you know." Bellamy said, "Did you even look at her?" He demanded. Ana gave a stiff shrug.
"A kid I never wanted but was forced to have." Ana said, "But I'm not a monster. Hopefully my actions will maker her freer." Ana said.
"You forced yourself into labor..." It seemed so obvious now, and hell, Bellamy didn't want to know how, but it was clear. His eyes gazed around the area. It landed on a shoe, too small. He numbly walked over it and picked it up. Just beyond his gaze, under the rubble with no chance of surviving, was a hand sticking out... a child's hand. He felt his vision go red.
"Look at this!" Bellamy threw the shoe at Ana, "A kid. Hardly older than your own. Look at this, what you did and tell me that this was the right thing to do!" He yelled, so upset he felt like he might vomit.
"No one is innocent!" Ana rose her voice as much as she could, "You're all tainted."
Bellamy grabbed her face roughly, "Look me in the eyes again and tell me to my face a kindergartener deserves to die! Tell me!" He demanded.
Ana only gave him an oddly placid smile, "Of course she was. It's not her fault, it's the fault of this society, but some stains can't be washed away."
Bellamy hardly even thought as he stood and raised the gun at Ana. His lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears. Ana just...looked at him. No fear, no sadness, no anger...just nothing.
He pulled the trigger and she slumped against the wall, a circle of blood oozing from her forehead.
As he retold it to Clarke, the only person he ever admitted it to, he himself wasn't sure why he did it. A part of him admitted that yes, his anger had overcome him and people like Ana deserved to die...but she would have. She wouldn't have denied it and she would have been sentenced to death anyway. A part of him told him he still loved her as one of his best friends and it was done out of mercy, and that they wouldn't have wasted the medicine on her...a killer...and she likely would have been tortured to death long before she reached the floating hatch. And then, a smaller part of him that he didn't want to admit out loud but did, said that maybe it had been exactly what Ana wanted him to do and he played right into her hand, and Bellamy knew this and did it anyway. It was the first person he killed, but at least he was consoled by the fact that her death, and everything leading up to it and the question if what he did was right, would haunt him forever. It would have been worse if he had been like Ana and killed without feeling a damn thing.
He looked at Ana after, unable to comprehend that she was dead, even though he'd been the one to shoot her. It was...unreal. It felt like an episode of those Twilight Zone shows Clarke had shown him. He felt like he wasn't even in his body as he went to the rock and rubble that the girl lay under and slowly started to work it away.
"Bellamy..." Jaha's voice startled him. He looked up and only realized how hard he was crying when he had to wipe away his tears to see.
"It was Ana." He whispered, "She and Shumway and probably someone else. She had this." He deposited the gun into Jaha's hands.
"Bellamy..." Jaha's voice was impossibly quiet, "You don't have to do this." He said.
"There are going to be some of my friends in here, sir. This was our room. I have to find them." Bellamy pointed out.
"Oh stars!"
Bellamy looked up at the doorway to see Monty, Bryan, Miller, Jasper, Murphy, Octavia and Monty's parents by the door. A couple other people trailed in behind them, although Bellamy wasn't sure if they were here to help or to gawk.
"We're here to help." Octavia was the first to find her words, "We were all getting dinner when..." She swallowed thickly.
"Ana's dead." Bellamy said, his throat tightening, "Who knows who else was here..." He trailed off.
Abby arrived shortly after with a crew of beds and people ready to help carry back those hurt and still alive. He watched as they gingerly lifted Fox onto the stretcher, Abby's face gave. He was glad Clarke wasn't here to see this.
And so, they began to dig through the remains of what once had been a happy place.
AFTER
Bellamy rubbed the dust from his fingertips and palms, shaking out his tears. Too many friends dead. Too many friends injured. Too much of everything.
They'd cleaned away most of the rubble, most of the debris to know that they'd found everyone that was going to be found.
The hospital was still buzzing around. He saw Fox and Sterling sitting up and breathed a deep sigh of relief.
"You're okay!" Bellamy couldn't help but hug them both, minding their injuries, "You have no idea how relived I am." He said in a long breath.
"You were digging people out, weren't you," Sterling saw the dust coating his body like a second skin, "Dude, I'm sorry."
Bellamy almost said he was okay, but then realized he wasn't, so he didn't.
"Raven woke up."
"Raven was there?" Bellamy frowned, "I didn't..."
"Murphy brought her in, I think." Fox replied, "She's over there." Bellamy gad a nod, intending to go find her. He saw Stasia and Marisha running around helping, because even though they were a dentist and veterinarian respectively it was all hands on deck. Stasia came over to help Fox when she pressed the button and as much as Bellamy usually hated her he couldn't help but feel as though they were all in solidarity now. And, Ana might have just taken her spot, as much as he felt ill to admit.
"Bell?" A croaking voice beckoned him from a room before Raven's. Bellamy backtracked to see Matt blinking at him. Bellamy breathed out; he'd found Matt at the site, "You...you took the rock off me..."
"Yeah," Bellamy said, coming into the room. Trina was there, checking his vitals. He hadn't seen Clarke, but they all had lots of things going on. He was sure any moment now he'd be called to the guard's area.
"Take it slow," Trina advised him, "You just woke up."
"How long has it been?" Matt frowned.
"Long time," Bellamy sighed, "How...are you?" He didn't know how to broach the subject delicately.
"Well, pretty shitty but...what?" Matt said, frowning, "What else?"
Trina and Bellamy shared looks. Bellamy wasn't sure how he didn't realize yet.
Slowly Trina pulled back the blanket covering his bottom half. As she did, he saw something click in Matt's mind and watched him freak out.
"Where's my freaking leg?" Matt demanded, starting to hyperventilate, "Where...what did you do to my leg?" He said, staring at the stump of his left leg, cut off right after the knee.
"We couldn't save it," Trina said, "Matt, I'm sorry-,"
"Bullshit!" Matt said, "Sew it back on! You guys can do that, right?"
"Matt," Trina said, grimacing, "There wasn't anything left of your leg to 'sew back on'."
"Gently, Trina..." Bellamy muttered, although the sentiment was correct. There hadn't been anything at all except some bloody sinews when he'd found Matt. He'd been semi-conscious but when Bellamy took the rock off his left leg, revealing nothing, Matt had passed out. Bellamy thought perhaps he remembered.
"I can still feel it there, though." Matt murmured, staring down in shock at his leg.
"You might. Phantom aches. Your brain might not just have caught up...you okay?" Trina asked. Matt didn't answer, "Oh, gosh, he might be going into shock!"
"Well, he had to find out sometime." Bellamy pointed out.
"I don't know what to do with this!" Trina freaked out a bit, "I just started!"
"One second," Bellamy gave a long sigh. He saw Jake walking around and waved him in, "Do you know where your wife is? Matt erm, he just found out he lost his leg and I think he's going a little catatonic."
Jake nodded immediately, and found Abby who rushed them out of the room to console and help Matt.
"You look awful, kid." Jake said, handing him a rag, "You should wipe some of that grime off."
"I just watched two of my friends die." Bellamy said quietly, but accepted the rag. He was glad Jake was here. It was almost as comforting as having Clarke.
"Are you okay?" Jake asked, catching his gaze. Bellamy didn't feel as stupid or pathetic or afraid to admit to his future father-in-law the truth.
"No, and I don't know when I will be."
BACK
"I found Kane, he's alive!" Jasper called out.
"Kane?" Octavia frowned, "What was he doing here?" She turned to Bellamy. He watched the way Abby hastened a little quicker to him and thought about everything Clarke had told him about the pair of them. Bellamy shrugged.
"I'm glad he's alive. Maybe since he was a council member, he knows something..." He frowned, "Water?" He offered Octavia his water bottle.
"No, I think I'd just puke it back up," She answered honestly. They'd unearthed the whole of the little girl that had been killed. They'd found Matt, so bloody that they hoped it was just his one leg that was gone. They'd loaded away Fox and Sterling to the hospital, prayers on their breaths. They'd uncovered another dead body of a man who looked like the little girl...and there was still work left.
Bellamy wiped his brow, biting back a sigh.
"It's Monroe," Someone said in shock from over on the left side of the remains of the room. Bellamy stood up straight, paralyzed in fear for a moment, before hustling over there with everyone else. Finding a child, that had been hard. And finding those that he grew up with in this Project, that was hard too. But Monroe? She was part of his inner group. It felt like he was finding Ana all over again.
Bellamy threw himself to the crumpled wall, frantically brushing away rock and cut his hand in his haste.
"Abby! We got Monroe over here!" Someone called and Bellamy worked harder to free her. He gave a sigh of relief; the ceilings had formed a cocoon around her, an empty space and she hadn't been crushed as badly as others. For the most part, it seemed she had been entombed in metal.
Abby hurried over.
"Is she still alive?" She questioned. Bellamy saw the very faint moisture of breath gathering on the metal in front of her and nodded firmly.
Monroe gasped, moaning awake. Bellamy shoved a piece of metal out of the way to see her shirt bloodied and fear gripped his stomach.
"Hey, Zoe, hold on...just hold on." Monty shoved his way to the front, reaching for her hand, "Just a couple more pieces."
Monroe gave a timid nod, gripping Monty's hand firmly.
Bryan helped Bellamy grasp a heavy part of the pile that had been ceiling beams and pull, but as they were pulling, there was a terrible creaking sound above them.
"Fall back!" Bellamy said, shoving everyone behind him, "Monroe, try to get out of there!" he demanded, knowing that they'd pulled the wrong piece and it was able to fall at any moment.
"Monty, Monty!" Zoe gasped out frantically as she struggled against a sheet against her side.
The pile creaked ominously again. Bellamy grabbed Monty by the shirt but Monty wrenched himself from Bellamy's grip with a surprising strength.
"No! I have to save her!" Monty said, throwing himself at the hole, shoving at the metal with all his strength.
"Monty, please-," His mother began to say, but before she could finish there was the worst creaking sound of them all and then all the metal so precariously stacked fell forward, throwing up dust and settling on the ground with an echoing bang.
Bellamy threw his shirt over his nose, blinking away from the screen of fibers in the air, coughing. Bryan had shoved Monty's mother away, who had began to go toward the structure too. Everyone just stood in silence for a couple moments, staring through the white particles as they settled back onto the ground, looking at the collapsed pyramid of support beams and wiring.
No one spoke.
Then, there was a shuffling from one of the sides. A metal sheet clattered forward as Monty's foot kicked it, and next thing everyone knew; Zoe's tiny body was being shoved through the hole. Next came, Monty coughing up onto the ground, a gash above his forehead.
"Monty..." His mother breathed in relief and her and his father stumbled forward to help drag Monty the rest of the way out.
Zoe reached forward, curled in a ball and everyone surged forward. Monty gently pushed away his mother's worried hands, kneeling beside Monroe. Bellamy surged forward, picking underneath Monroe's armpits, Monty grabbing her legs and helping load her onto a stretcher that Abby had waved over. They set her down gently, but she had hardly touched the surface before Zoe began to cough violently, gasping in breaths of air as though her lungs no longer could hold anything.
Monty's fingers gripped around her hand tight, staring in horror as she continued to make faint wheezing sounds interrupted by brutal coughing until a dark liquid bubbled up her throat. She began to make choking sounds and although Abby immediately turned her on her side, by the time that she was facing more towards the floor, she was silent, the blood just pouring down her chin and her eyes vacant.
"Monroe, Monroe?" Bellamy said, shaking her.
"Bellamy...she's gone." Abby said quietly, setting her on her back, using two fingers to gingerly shut her eyes.
Bellamy swung toward Monty at the same time everyone else did. It was as though everyone suddenly recalled that they were betrothed.
"Monty?" His father asked quietly. Monty raised his hands, trembling over her cheeks but not quiet touching, as though in death something separated the two.
"Baby?" His mother asked in an agonized voice, "Oh, stars." Bellamy had thought he loved Harper, but looking at Monty's completely crestfallen face, the look of someone who just lost someone who might have been his everything, was heartbreaking. Finally, his hands touched her cheeks in the most reverent way. His bottom lip jutted out and his forehead feel to her chest where he let out a gasping sob.
"We...we dug her out. She's not injured anywhere..." Jasper asked in a frail voice, "Why?"
"She probably had internal bleeding. We couldn't have known...and, even if we did, it's unsure if we could have stopped it in time." Abby said quietly, pushing up her shirt a bit to show bruises blooming underneath the surface, nodding in acknowledgement of her guess.
"Gone, just like that?" Octavia echoed quietly and Abby gave her a saddened look.
And yes, just like that, another friend was dead.
FORWARD, TWO DAYS LATER
"Chancellor Jaha?" Bellamy knocked on the door to his office, "I'm sorry if this is a bad time sir, but-,"
"Never, come in, come in." Jaha said, trying to find a smile but Bellamy still saw taut lines of insomnia and anxiety pulled across his face.
Bellamy turned behind him, raising an eyebrow and motioning for the people following him- Simon and Murphy- to step inside. Jaha looked mildly surprise at their arrival, but nothing extremely unexpected.
"Just tell him what you told me." Bellamy said in a low sigh when neither spoke.
"You still haven't floated that bitch then?" Murphy said, glaring at Jaha.
"John!" Simon hissed, nudging him hard in the side.
"What? I have a right to be pissed, you know. Did you see what she did to our friends? To us? She would have happily killed us all if she coulda gotten us all in that room." Murphy said, "I think my language is appropriate."
"No, we haven't." Jaha said, "This is a delicate manner, a ongoing investigation. We can't be wrong." He said.
"Which is why you two could help." Bellamy said, putting his hands on their shoulders to steer them further into the office, "Al's word isn't for much, you know."
"Fine." Murphy muttered and Simon spoke first.
"Well, we heard about Al and how Diana...recruited him. I mean, it's easy to imagine it happened with Ana in a similar way, Diana knows exactly when to pick her targets. And we both realized that we think she might have tried to recruit us too." Simon said, "If this at all helps."
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Jaha asked, not upset, but still frowning.
"Well, she came up to me...right after my dad and mom died and I tried to burn down the home of that guard, and she asked me if I'd like to get even. I thought about it, hell I did, but the Collins adopted me already and I told her I had tried to get even and it didn't work. She pushed a bit more, I don't recall much- I was pretty young- but eventually I think I told her to just go away." Murphy recounted, "I was young. I didn't remember it until now."
"Did she ever saw how to 'get even'?" Jaha asked. Murphy shrugged again.
"Like I said, I remember it happening because Mrs. Collins saw me talking to me and asked about it and they were acting strange but I don't really remember specifics."
"And you, Mr. Dibdin?" Jaha said, turning.
"I was older, so I remember." Simon said, his face turning dark, "It was right after my parents were floated and Charlotte was put in lock up. She found me at their memorial stone and told me that we could work together." Simon made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, "Told me she could get my sister free. I didn't believe her, plus, I'm not all too into violence. Plus, I figured she was still just bitter that you beat her out for chancellor. My parents used to talk about how she pretended she was okay with it but secretly she was pissed."
"What did she want in return from you?" Jaha asked.
"Well, she first just asked me to keep an eye out on my classmates for dissent, probably to cultivate more people, and I felt weird about spying on people in the first place. Then, when she said something about 'becoming a legend' it felt...weird. I dunno, I turned her down."
"I surprised she didn't murder you in your sleep after that." Murphy scoffed.
"I told her I would think about it. I didn't want to become her enemy so I always just stayed...on the fence about it, whenever she asked." He said, "But I think she got Ana and after that she didn't need me and I stopped thinking much of why she stopped coming around. Thought she just realized I wasn't going to join." Simon finished.
Jaha was silent for a long second.
"There are likely others," Bellamy said quietly, "Other she tried to get to. Diana is smart enough to cast a wide net."
"Yes, I'm sure there is." Jaha seemed haggard by this thought, "I wish I had known this was going on, right under my nose. Think of how catastrophic this could have been if there was more, and I'm not saying that to lessen this attack. I'm just saying that it's unforgivable it ever got this far."
"Can we go?" Murphy seemed really antsy, "I need to get back to the hospital."
Jaha looked at him, a warmer smile replacing his tired one.
"Of course, I'm sorry to keep you."
BACK; AFTER THE BOMB
Murphy stepped outside for a second; or, he figured it would have been outside had the room still exist. It was hard to tell. But, from the scratched metal under his feet, he thought that maybe he was standing in the old hallway.
Zoe Monroe was dead. He'd just watched her choke on her own blood, grasping to Monty in her last seconds before she just went limp like a dead flower. He hadn't stayed around to see her face covered in a white sheet.
He hadn't seen Raven at all today and that freaked him out like nothing else. He thought that she, of anyone, would have been here helping. She was like that. He'd went to her house, but she hadn't been there. Mr. and Mrs. Collins had told him she went looking for Finn earlier today, which felt like a punch in the gut, but he had no reason to think Finn would be anywhere near here. So, he figured she was safe. Maybe she was helping Clarke in the hospital. Maybe she was running scenarios with Sinclair in the lab, trying to work out the damage of this bomb. Maybe she was working to identify the bomb, since he'd seen some workers in hazmat suits pick out pieces of the rubble and carry it away.
He considered the fact that they hadn't found her a very, very good sign. At this point, he didn't think there was much else for bodies to be hiding under. Soon, it would just be clearing away debris to salvage this room, or parts of it.
He turned his head left, and saw a trickle of blood dried, like someone's body had been dragged. That must have been where Al was. He was pretty banged up, one of the first discovered. A doctor theorized at the scene that he had been knocked out first and dragged away, that he'd seen too much.
He hadn't known Ana had been so capable of this disaster. Sure, she'd had a big mouth. That's what most people liked or hated about her. And she had some pretty strong theories. But she seemed to love the Ark and the people so much. Then again, in her own twisted way, maybe she had thought she was saving them.
Murphy found his feet dragging him to the source of the blood. The door to the fuse room was lying on the ground, bent in an impossible shape. His toes shifted through some bullet casings on the floor. How strange...they weren't looking toward the area of the bomb, but toward the other side of the hall. He turned to see a bullet hole in a wall, and kicked aside the remains of a table to see a line of bullet holes riddling the lining.
He backed up until he imagined where Ana would have been, raised his fingers as though he was shooting a gun, and frowned. This was deliberate. What was Ana shooting...or who?
Something hanging, snagged on a piece of the fallen Ark caught his eye. A necklace...with a raven on it.
His fingers reached toward it for a second in disbelief, before he snatched it from its perch. He began to look harder at this area. There was blood that was too much to have been from Al. He didn't think it was a strange accident that this was here, that Raven set this necklace down. She never did; Murphy always hated it because of which it was from, but in this moment, he'd never been so glad she wore it constantly.
"Raven?" He said, trying to follow the blood. He turned a corner and found Raven against the wall, out of the way. She was cut up from the blast, but the worst of it was her back, still bleeding. Her jeans were red with her blood and her shirt had begun to soak it up too.
"Raven!" He yelled frantically, shaking her, "No, no, no, god, c'mon don't leave me here. Don't be dead." He said, reaching over and pressing his fingers against her neck. For a long second, he didn't feel anything, and it was a worse feeling than when his father had died. It was unparallel to anything he ever felt.
"I don't care if you pick Finn, I don't care if our entire lives are you being married to me but loving him, but please for the love of the stars, don't die on me. I promise you can pick him, and I won't be made. If you live...I'll...I'll..." Murphy began to blubber. He had never believed in a god before, but he was desperate. He offered God the same bargain. Then, like magic, he felt the faintest beat of her heart.
He wanted to grab her tight, savor each moment before she'd chose Finn and he'd never feel her again like this, but Raven had to live. He knew he wasn't interested in a world without her in it, even one where she wasn't with him.
He picked her up, carrying her like a ragdoll to the hospital where they could save her. He'd already done his part.
FORWARD
"I'll...never walk again?" Raven echoed, eyes widening.
"I never said that," Clarke sighed, but gently repeated her words, "We can do the surgery to get the bullet, but since it's in your spine, so it's risky. It could still kill you."
"And if I never take it out?" Raven repeated numbly.
"You won't walk." Clarke said, frowning, "Raven, you don't need your legs here. You're a zero-G mechanic, you spend most of your time floating in space anyway." Clarke pointed out.
Raven shook her head frantically.
"No, no. I...I can't not walk. I need my legs. I'm going to need my legs." Raven amended, staring at her motionless legs intensely.
"For what?" Clarke asked incredulously, "If you think it's about sex and all you'll all still be able to feel...all that." Clarke said awkwardly, blushing a bit but Raven continued to shake her head.
"Clarke, I need that surgery. I can't tell you why, but I need my legs."
"Is it worth possibly dying for?" Clarke asked, frowning, a little angry. She didn't think Raven was thinking rationally at the moment.
"Clarke," Raven grabbed her friend's hand, "I promise you that if I don't have use of my legs for the future I won't survive. Please, sign me up for the surgery." She begged.
"How about you think a day on it? You just woke up and you're still pretty high on pain meds. We don't have to make a choice right now."
Raven sent Clarke a desperate look but admitted momentary defeat.
"Well, fine, get me a wheelchair then." She said.
"Well we can arrange that, but-,"
"No. Right now."
"Raven." Clarke breathed out through her nose in frustration, "You can't leave."
"But I need to. I need to find Finn, Clarke. I need to talk to him." Raven said with a growing sense of impatience.
"I'm sure he'll come to you soon enough. I'm surprised he hasn't come through, knocking a guard out to see you." Clarke said a little bitterly, "And then you two can have all the time in the world for your love affair." She added a bit too harshly. In all honestly, Clarke was salty. She thought Murphy was the obvious choice for her friend, and they'd just talked a day ago about how she loved Murphy. But when she'd heard Raven murmured Finn's name...yeah, Clarke was a little confused and upset. She thought maybe at first it had just been that Raven had been looking for Finn to let him down. But the more Clarke thought about it, the more she thought that she wouldn't be murmuring Wells name if she were unconscious. She very much wanted to be wrong. She'd never seen Murphy so hurt in her whole life.
"What?" Raven stopped trying to escape for a second, staring hard at Clarke.
"Do you remember anything before waking up?" Clarke asked.
"I remember...Al and Ana and she shot me." Raven said, frowning with though, "Everything else is a blur."
"Well, Murphy brought you in-,"
"Murphy?" Raven's voice cracked, "Why isn't he here?"
"Well, you sort of said Finn's name when you were passed out." Clarke said evenly, "As you can imagine..."
"Oh no!" Raven said, covering her head with her hands, "Stars, he must be thinking about it the entirely wrong way! I...I must have been...I was looking for Finn before all this...to give my necklace back..." Raven said, staring at the Raven necklace on the table, "It wouldn't feel right wearing it when I was with Murphy." She said in a quiet voice.
"So you do pick Murphy." Clarke said, relieved.
"Of course I do." Raven said, no quiver in her voice, "I told you before, Clarke, I love him. I love him more than I could love Finn."
"I was just...ah, never mind."
"So you know why I need to find him, especially now." Raven said.
"While I admire your devotion, you really shouldn't be moving at all right now. I'll find him." Clarke said, "I'll make sure he gets in here."
"Okay..." Raven said, still biting her lip nervously, "Well! What are you waiting for, god, go!"
NOW
Murphy sat with his head in his hands. He'd just directed Finn to the hospital, "I uh, think Raven wanted to talk to you..." He said in a quiet voice. He didn't have to fell Finn what it was about, from his voice, Finn knew. And, he saw Finn grinning like he'd won a million credits. Bastard, one part of him thought. But, if their position were reversed, yeah, Murphy would have been grinning like an idiot too.
At least Raven was okay. She was in good hands and he would have heard about it by now if she were dead. Word traveled fast here.
"There you are!" Clarke appeared on his left, panting, "Do you know that I have been running up the whole damn ark to find you?" She demanded, catching her breath and leaning over.
"Yeah, and?" He said snidely, until he saw Clarke's lab coat, "Oh no, is Raven-,"
"That's why I'm here." Clarke said, looking up at him. She didn't look sad, though. Murphy was instantly confused. Clarke looked at where they were and laughed, "Stars, I never knew you were a romantic." She said. They were in the place that he'd given Raven her space walk. He hated how she'd seen right through him. He didn't think anyone would find him here, since the activity was all on the other side of the Ark.
"Yeah well," He spat out, "If she's okay, can you just go, Griffin? I really, really want to be alone right now." He growled, rubbing his temples.
"I'm here on Raven's behalf." Clarke said, finally breathing normally again.
Murphy gave a visible wince, "Yeah, she choose Finn. I understand, no need to send the messenger." He rasped out.
"No!" Clarke said, and that one word made him more hopeful than he'd ever felt before, "You have it all wrong, she choose you." Clarke said.
Murphy opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was air. Finally he managed a small, "What?"
Clarke was grinning at him, and Murphy shook his head.
"But I heard her, she said Finn's name, she was looking for Finn today and-,"
"God, Murphy, just shut up for a second. She's in love with you. Raven loves you." Clarke said slowly, "Do I need to say it again? She was looking for Finn today to tell him that she can't love him and to ask him to stop bothering her."
Murphy stared at Clarke in absolute shock for a second before he began to laugh hysterically. Clarke was looking at him now like he was crazy, which in all honesty he probably was, until he caught his breath.
"I just saw Finn and sent him to Raven. He thinks she's picking him. Lordy, I mean, I think I should feel bad he's really going to be let down but, wow." He finished.
"Awe, c'mon. You were just in his shoes a second ago." Clarke said, scowling at Murphy, "Don't be mean."
"I'm sorry, I just..." Murphy shook his head. He had a grin on his face he couldn't quite keep off. It was an exhilarating feeling.
"Can you say it again?" He said after a long second.
"What?" Clarke said as they began to walk back toward the hospital wing.
"About...how Raven feels towards me." He said quietly. Clarke looked smug.
"Murphy, Raven has loved you forever. Probably longer than I have loved Bellamy. If people thought we were oblivious...jeeze."
They reached the entrance to the hospital just in time to see Finn leaving, looking like a kicked puppy. He glanced up at Clarke and Murphy, a nearly murderous look on his face that after a second was just replaced with sorrow.
"Be nice." Clarke muttered under her breath, "You two live together, you know." She added dryly.
"Finn!" Murphy called after him, and when his adopted brother turned he added, "I'm, uh, sorry man. Really."
"No, we both know you're not." Finn said, and rocked on the balls of his feet before nodding quietly to him, "But I won't contest it anymore She's not going to chose me, ever. I'll, uh, see you at home for dinner." He said awkwardly before leaving.
"That went as well as I thought it could." Clarke muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.
She helped Murphy get past security, although anyone in the Project had been put on the list of acceptable entrances, and led him to Raven's room. For the first time ever, Murphy felt so nervous that he was going to barf. But it was a good nervous, a very good nervous.
Raven's whole face lit up the second she saw him and he didn't have a doubt in his mind that this whole thing wasn't still a big lie. He took three big glides over to the edge of the bed and before Raven could say anything, he leaned down and kissed her. And he realized...it was their first kiss. Even during that one night which felt like years ago, they'd been cautious not to kiss because a kiss said so much more than words could. He had never thought a sentiment was truer than right now, where he pressed every feeling he had into it.
"I love you too, Raven." He said when he pulled back. Raven's whole face was a wide grin and using the strength of his upper body pulled him down on top of her before kissing him again.
By the door, Clarke gave a couple long claps with her infuriating smirk on her face. But yeah, Murphy decided he and Raven probably deserved that.
FORWARD A LITLE
Clarke took a moment to rest to have some dinner, brought up by Jezila and Roma. Well, it wasn't food for everyone, but they brought up some specifically for their friends that had been hurt- if they had strength enough to eat- and those working tirelessly to save them. Clarke had nearly declined their offer, but seeing the boxes of food and their pleading eyes, it had been hard to resist. Plus, once she had sat down with a plate and her stomach growled she realized it had nearly been a whole day since she'd last eaten.
Salad, some fruit, plates of pasta...it was, indeed, a banquet. Roma and Jez stayed around, watching their friends eat with pleasure, glad to feel as though for once they were of use. They were currently chatting with Fox, the three girls giggling about something. Clarke gave a sad smile...Fox would never be as pretty as she once was. Ana and Diana and Shumway and even Al robbed her of that. But, she didn't seem upset. Sometimes, Clarke forgot just how strong Fox was.
"Oh...peaches." Bellamy said, sitting down next to her and Clarke's parents- who she had invited to share this meal with. They both also needed a rest; Abby running and controlling every patient here and Jake working on the damage scenarios with Sinclair of the attack.
"This is quite the meal, Clarke." Abby said as Clarke pushed a third of her plate to her mom, "Quite the meal..." She echoed softly, thinking.
Clarke knew what was behind her mom's words. This was hard to come by. Fruit was some of the more expensive treats. Salad was middling, pasta was easier to come by, but they'd dressed it with spices and a sauce so it felt like a meal fit for a chancellor.
"It's surprising how many connections you form with forty some people," Clarke said dryly, always reminding her mother firstly that she shouldn't be so surprised that, god forbid their group became close but secondly that they were indeed close and it was her second family, and there were a lot of them.
"It's nice of them to do this," Jake said, eagerly taking some, "They didn't have to. I'm sure we would have gotten fed eventually."
"Yeah, but I think we all want to feel like we're...part of something." Bellamy said, grasping for the words, "This wasn't an attack on the Ark as a whole, but on us the group of forty-four...ahem, excuse, forty-two." He said, amending his count with a blush of anger and sadness draining into his eyes.
"Dr. Griffin, Council Member Kane is starting to wake up," A guard said quietly, alerting Clarke's mother. She stood a little too quickly, her eyes a little too eager, until she looked back at the group watching her intently.
"As, um, a member of the council I should check in right away to monitor his progress." She said, trying to walk as though she wasn't itching to see him.
Bellamy looked away, feeling as though he was intruding on something incredibly private. He did, however, take a moment to watch Clarke's face. It was unreadable.
Clarke was watching her mother go. She knew far more behind her mother's words than it seemed. Her parents didn't fight anymore, and that's honestly what scared her. She felt in their older age their fights were the only indication they cared anymore. Clarke felt like she had known for a while, didn't want to admit it out loud. It was hard to see your parents fall away from each other so hard, like comets blasting in two different directions. She wanted her parents to be happy, but did she want them happy apart?
She looked at her dad, who saw Clarke's questioning expression and rubbed her head.
"Don't worry about it, kiddo. Adult stuff." He said, shrugging.
"I am an adult, dad." Clarke whispered, "I don't want you to be hurt." She said honestly. Okay, so her mom was happy. Yippie for her. But her dad? Stars, Clarke didn't think she could stand to see him depressed.
"Oh, my little princess," He sighed, putting his arm around her and pulling her in close, "I should be the one concerned about you. It's not your job to take care of me, not until I'm old and farty." He said and Clarke broke a smile, swatting him gently.
"Really, dad." She whined, "I...just..."
"Clarke, just know that whatever happens our love for you will never waver. That's all that matters." He said, thinking her upset for all the wrong reasons. And, that one statement said more about where her parents were than anything else did. It cemented something for her. It felt like an end. She didn't know what was going to come next and honestly she was really afraid.
Luckily, or unluckily she'd amend her thoughts later, she didn't have to sit with this uncomfortable knowledge long before a monitor began beeping in one of the patient rooms.
"That's Brad." Clarke sighed in relief. He was the last of their friends to wake up. He'd been closest to the bomb's blast radius, and on the other side of the wall, so he'd sustained the worst injuries.
Keshawn jumped up from his chair where he was eating too, sending Clarke a nod of acknowledgement. How these two ever became friends was sometimes beyond Clarke, but hey, they were both pretty unbearable at times.
Zahira stood, twirling her fingers nervously. She'd been trying to catch up on some sleep on one of the empty waiting room beds. Clarke had advised her as such, since she was pregnant and liable to give birth any day. In general, stress and lack of sleep wasn't good for babies. Even if they didn't love each other, they'd at least come to like each other- Zahira and Brad. Sarah hit Tom awake, who was dozing on one of the most uncomfortable hospital chairs in the whole place, a feat in itself. Their daughter was still with Octavia.
As Clarke began to look around, she realized most of their group had slowly made their way in, visiting various people, flitting around doing this and that. There were only a handful missing, ones that were probably working and would be here if they could.
Clarke and Keshawn came to the edge of the bed. Brad was blinking around, looking heavily confused. Clarke blamed it initially on the pain medication. His whole body was a mishmash of bandages and gauze, and he looked like a mummy that Bellamy had shown Clarke in one of his ancient history books.
"Hey...Brad..." Clarke began, taking a step forward, but he didn't acknowledge her. Instead, he was still swinging his head around, eyes becoming more and more agitated.
"Brad?" Keshawn asked hesitantly. Brad snapped toward him, his eyes focusing hard on Keshawn's mouth, "Buddy, are you okay?"
That's when Brad lost it.
"I can't hear! I can't hear anything. Why can't I hear anything?" He demanded, struggling against his IV. As a Doctor, he should know better, but then again, Clarke couldn't even imagine being in his position.
Keshawn and Tom surged forward, holding him onto the bed while he continued to freak out a little while longer. Clarke watched him, mouth hanging open slightly. From the way he was crying and how scared he looked, Clarke realized he'd never seemed more human, more like the rest of them. In that moment he wasn't his usual haughty, inconsiderate self but a scared boy who had just been through an intense trauma.
Finally, he seemed cooled down enough and shrugged his friends off.
"What happened to me?" He asked, starting to look over his bandages. Clarke opened his mouth to answer, but then realized he wouldn't hear. He probably wasn't going to be the greatest at reading lips yet, but she tried to make one word as clear as possible...bomb.
There was a second where he just stared at her lips, and then like a light bulb, it all hit him. He looked horrified for a second, and his fingers touched his ears. They were doctors, they knew the basics behind ear damage and bombs and other explosions, and while they didn't expect to have to know that specifically, there were plenty of other loud noises out here that could severely damage an eardrum.
"Do you think it's my ears, not damage to my brain?" He asked. Keshawn started to answer and then winced, looking a little embarrassed. He picked up his pad and clicked out a note on it.
We think so. You were found closest to the blast. It literally went off right behind you, in the room. Chances are your eardrums are popped.
Brad read it and his face fell a little.
"Do you think it will ever come back?" He asked. Clarke and Keshawn shared unsure looks, both giving nearly imperceptible winces.
Clarke turned back, giving an apologetic shrug and Keshawn's mouth just turned into a thin frown. Brad deflated a bit, falling back against the bed. Clarke could see him trying to come to terms with his possible permanent disability.
"Excuse me, coming through." Clarke turned to see Jez shouldering her way through the crowd.
"I didn't think you and Brad knew each other all too well," Keshawn said, eyebrows turning up in surprise. Clarke sent him a glare but not before noticing the way Brad's eyes frantically followed the lips of people. It must be infuriating to have people talk, likely about you, with no way to know what they were saying.
"I know sign language. My grandfather went deaf in his old age." Jez said, "He can't have a pad at him at all times." She said, looking at the pad he had on his bed. Clarke gave a nod to that; she was right.
"And maybe you can teach us too," Zahira said, coming in. Everyone let her pass, "We should all know."
The people waiting nodded in acknowledgement. Brad was a jerk at the worst of times but he deserved this from them all. Plus, how cool to know sign language, Clarke thought.
Brad's worry softened a bit when he saw Zahira, who gave him a tight smile. His face fell, and Zahira rubbed his shoulders.
Jez came up, touching his arm to get his attention. He looked at her curiously; since they didn't interact much- Keshawn was correct about that. She took the pad and typed out her message.
I'm going to teach you sign language.
She handed it back to him and when he looked up, processing it, she sighed something that Clarke could only assume was that message, signed out. At first, Clarke wondered how brash Brad would take a statement, not a question if he wanted to. But he ducked his head a bit, almost seeming a bit shy at it, and gave a slow nod of agreement. Maybe he was surprised to see people care enough to do such things. He was good at alienating people, like here at work. But as Jez began to do some simple movements with him, like the alphabet, Clarke could see the flash of her group tattoo under her sleeve and she could see Brad's on his neck, one of the few places he wasn't burned. They were a family, and everyone had those annoying uncles, but you would always be there for them.
"Clarke?"
Clarke turned to see Al, and he coughed, his voice rough. People looked at him with sympathy...even though most knew he'd had a part in it, once Clarke had explained to them that it seemed Diana was cultivating him from a young age they'd just seemed sad for him. He hardly noticed their looks of pity.
"Yeah?"
"Can you get your mom or Bellamy or someone? I think I remember it all now, enough to make a statement." He said, referring to his role in the bomb and leading up to getting knocked out. A lot of the finer details had been previously missing, since he'd taken a nasty blow to the head.
"Of course. I'll get someone right away."
BEFORE
"God, I thought you were never going to show up!" Ana hissed, seeing Al come around the corner. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if he was going to either. It had hit him, halfway here, that he wondered why he was doing this? But, he remembered how nice Diana had been to him and how logical her point had been and he shook his head, continuing on.
"Well, I'm here now." Al said, hoping he didn't sound too nervous, "Are you okay, Ana?" He said, examining her through narrowed eyes, "You don't look so hot..."
"Fine," Ana said, although he didn't think that was true. She had a sickly sheen over her body and she looked like she'd just run a marathon, the way she was sweating. Plus, she winced with every step and there was blood on her clothing. She also seemed twitchy. Maybe she was re-thinking this too? Maybe they wouldn't have to go through with this, maybe-,
"Gimme that." Ana said, grabbing his bag, "You got the stuff, right?" She said, eyeing him.
"Yeah." Al frowned, "Shumway had it all left out. But why did I have to be the one to get it again?" He asked, scowling.
"Because you're two whole stations above me. Threes and above don't get questioned when they're in places they're not supposed to be." Ana said bitterly, "Haven't you listened to anything?" She said, patting the bag meaningfully. Ah, yes, her stance on why she was doing this was clear enough to him.
Al just grunted, still nervous. He saw something flash in the waistband of her pants.
"What's that?" He asked, eyeing it nervously.
Ana flashed him a wicked grin, "A little gift for good luck, you know." She said, taking a gun from its previously half-hidden place and twirling it on her finger.
"Does it work?" Al asked, eyes widening.
"Do you think they'd give us a toy to execute this?" She scoffed, opening the barrel to show him eight bullets. He gave a gulp.
They made their way to the area where they'd be planting the bomb; their meeting room. Al felt bad about blowing it up; he'd had a lot of good memories here. Plus, it was...special in a way. He hated to see it go and had tried to get them to consider other areas. But they'd told him they were choosing this area because it was making a statement about their unrest about this Project and it's rules. It made sense, but Al was still uneasy about it.
"Take guard," Ana said sternly, putting the gun in his hands.
"What? I don't know how to use this!" Al hissed.
"You aim and shoot...not that hard." Ana said in a deadpanned tone, turning back and starting to assemble the bomb.
While watching, he began to hear voices. Worry gripped him. He set the gun down on the floor, seeing Ana was deep into her work and wouldn't notice him. He didn't want to risk putting it in his sweatshirt pocket for it to go off on him...frankly, Al didn't want to be touching this gun at all.
He crept around the side to see...people in the meeting room. Worry clutching him like a vise and a nasty rock fell to the bottom of his stomach.
"Ana!" He ran back to her, "Ana, we got to abort this mission." He said.
"Why?" Ana said, hardly taking the time to turn back to him.
"There's people in there!" He hissed angrily, "We can't...we can do it another time." He had been promised, double-pinky-swore (or, a more adult equivalent of that) by Diana that no one would be hurt by this, that they'd shut down this hallway online under the guise of a faulty vent. Maybe the signal hadn't gone through? Either way, they couldn't do it now. He was a little pleased.
He expected Ana to be equally horrified at this realization, but she just turned, pinching her nose.
"Yes, and?"
Her response disgusted him.
"We can't do that! We might hurt them, or even worse...kill them!" When Ana still looked wholly unconvinced, Al shook his head frantically, "They're our friends in there! Sterling! Matt! Fox!" He shouted, getting more frenzied by the second, yelling out their names to make Ana understand.
Ana looked upset for a second, and he gave a sigh of relief. He thought it finally came through to her, that what they were going to do today would have to wait.
"Oh, Al...stars, you're so naive. It's almost cute."
"But...I only agreed to do this because no one would get hurt..." Al said, frowning, repeating his words as though this time they would make a difference, "I didn't-,"
"Luckily, you're not needed anymore." Ana said, looking back at the bomb, almost completely finished.
Al stared at her in shock before it registered. He took off like a dart down the hallway, opening his mouth to warn everyone. Ana collided into his back, knocking him down. His chin smacked the ground hard and his teeth smashed together. He felt blood trickle down his neck and he was hauled around, Ana straddling him.
"Al, poor Al. We're meat to be martyrs, we aren't meant to come out of this alive. You'd be crucified either way, no one will believe you when you say you 'didn't know people would be hurt'," She mocked in a high-pitched voice, "You see...we're supposed to be something more because of this. We are as much of the symbol as this room. People will look back on this event one day and say this is what changed everything and those are the people that made that happen."
She looked at the gun, and Al screwed his eyes shut, thinking that she was going to shoot him and get it done with. Instead, the next thing he registered- just for a brief second- was Ana knocking him out with the butt of the gun instead.
FORWARD; 1 DAY LATER
Diana Sydney was found unanimously guilty, thanks to Al's accounts, and she was sentenced to be floated in the next twenty-four hours. Ana and Shumway were also found guilty of treason and attempts of harm, despite being dead. Their declarations were more for paperwork anyway, and to say it out loud was to seal it.
There were others too, who were weeded out. Al had been kept in the dark of most of Sydney's exchanges, possibly that she saw he was never 'into' the cause as much as others, but his information was still extremely valuable...and he gave them everything. There was a reason that he wasn't supposed to survive this, because he knew things that would have kept an undercurrent movement alive, even if Diana had the idea that she wouldn't walk away from this.
Al gave the names of guards he'd seen with Diana or Shumway a lot, something that other guards that were untouched agreed with in the case of Shumway. When it was looked into, Jaha realized a lot of these names suspiciously rose in rank soon after Shumway became Commander with not much reason. A whole slew of higher guards were arrested and most guilty with treason too. Then, there was the investigation into anyone that these guards were close to, their protégées, because if Diana showed them anything, it would be how to procure more soldiers.
But then came a difficult choice, much the choice that they were meeting to discuss now. What to do about those cultivated, those like Al?
The trial room was rather a mess. Pretty much all the top-tier guards were found to be in on the scheme, at least in some way if not all the way, so there was a scary amount of decent people left. It was how Bellamy found his way into such a top-secret trial, since he was now one of the most senior members left. That terrified him to no end. They even went as far as inviting back a handful of retired guards members that had been in high ranks, just to make the best choice possible.
Bellamy was glad he got the chance to attend; he had a lot to say.
He half expected to hear Shumway's snide voice when he walked into the room, something along the lines of, 'Oh, look at you, Blake. Here to protect all people, a man of the downtrodden'. So what if Bellamy had a heart and thought everyone deserved a decent trial? So shoot me, he thought.
Sergeant Miller must have seen him tense and known his thoughts because he squeezed his shoulders comfortingly.
Bellamy looked around the room. The people he'd learned from, most of them, all gone. Were they planning to undermine everything all the time? Bellamy wondered back to every interaction with him, wondering if they'd been thinking if it was worth it to try to sway him too?
Al came out, handcuffed. He didn't seem upset by it, but accepted it. Well, when you figured you were supposed to have died...nothing else really could bother you.
Bellamy believed Al. The cameras in the hallway had been damaged pretty badly, but what they'd recovered had indeed been the same story Al had told.
Clarke was shocked when she found out, "Why wouldn't they erase the tapes? Take out the cameras?" She asked.
"They probably figured everyone would be dead, it wouldn't matter." Bellamy shrugged.
"Why wasn't someone watching it? We could have seen it..." Clarke said, shaking her head angrily.
"We can't be watching every camera at every minute of the day. There's just too many, realistically speaking. They're more for the after-crimes." Bellamy said. Clarke knew that this was logical, but she still scrunched up her nose in displeasure.
Jaha grunted quietly, calling the gently murmuring people to his attention. Al sat beside him in the 'guilty chair' head hanging with shame.
"We are here to discuss what should become of Mr. Aloysius Cozens. I'm tiring of professional trials and I feel that this doesn't require such harsh measures. This is more a discussion about his proper course of action. I should make it known, and reminded, that he is more than helpful with this incident of late."
"Yes, so it may be," A guards member a year or two younger than Bellamy, "But there has to be punishment for crimes, doesn't it? He did help to commit one of the worst attacks on the Ark."
"Well, not entirely. He didn't want to hurt people."
"Oh, so he gets an award for not being quite as much of an asshole as he could have been?" The same guard fired back.
"Well, I think we should take into account he is guilty of his actions." Sergeant Miller rubbed his chin, "He has given us the names of everyone who was part of Sydney's cult. He didn't have to do that; he just as easily could have feigned ignorance, pretended he was just caught in the blast. There was nothing to indicate he was a part of it. He gave us the information willingly, not to add that outing others like Diana is dangerous. If he misses even one..." Miller trailed off. There were murmurs of agreement to his point.
"Diana doesn't like to leave loose ends." Nate Miller agreed, "No doubt she's taught her followers similar sentiments."
"But that's not enough." An older guardsmen called back said, "I knew the little girl that was killed in that attack. Had he never helped at all, this wouldn't have happened!" He pointed a finger at Al accusingly, "He still chose to do a great many things."
"If I may..." Bellamy raised his hand slightly, "I'd like to argue he was brainwashed." He paused, letting it sink into the minds of the other guards, "He was procured from a young age, whispered thoughts and manipulated his entire life. I remember once, actually, back when we were picking our jobs and such I heard Al say to someone that he was being pressured to go into politics, even if he didn't like it. I think it was Sydney, the whole time."
"But where does her actions end and his begin?"
"That's the point," Bellamy breathed out, "None of his actions were ever his own. He didn't ever have a choice to think this wasn't right. He was told from the start what to do."
"So what?" the first slightly-younger guard said, "We lock him up in the Skybox like he's still sixteen and stole a bag of chips?"
"I don't think so," Bellamy shook his head, "I think floating him is excessive. But perhaps...something still like an imprisonment?" He looked up, catching Jaha's eye.
Jaha was nodding. Al seemed numb to the whole conversation. Bellamy was sure he thought he was going to die. This was probably almost too much to hear for him.
"Perhaps he shall still regain all aspects of a citizen, but we put certain restrictions on him for varying amounts of time. Six months kept within the walls of his house, another six months where he cannot leave his station, and continue from there. If there's any indication of further criminal activity and his regrets are not as pure as we thought, we will not be as lenient. How many are in favor of this?" Jaha asked. Slowly, people around the room raised their hands. Bellamy was one of the first, along with Murphy. He knew how big Murphy was about second chances.
So, it was decided. Monty or Raven would whip up some sort of monitor for him, but as of now, Al was freed.
As people started to file out of the room, Jaha stopped them.
"I feel as though we have some more business to attend to," Jaha said, looking around the small group, "We are so small. And, there are some places needed filling."
Commander's spot, obviously, Bellamy gathered. But who? Nearly all of the Majors had been revealed to be dirty and Major Bryne wasn't a nice or good person in his opinion, but she got the job done. But still, Bellamy didn't feel good at all looking at Jaha's options.
"I put into motion that Sergeants Miller be promoted to Commander." Jaha said. Shocked whispers broke out.
"But, sir! I'm not a Major!" David began to sputter.
"Shush, dad. You deserve this," Nate said, slapping his dad's shoulder.
"Well, we all know you deserved to be promoted to Lieutenant right away and Major years ago," Jaha said with slight mirth, "And it was likely Shumway's influence that kept you from becoming so, because I think he knew that if he did, it wouldn't be long before you were replacing him. This is, obviously, not the way things are usually done...but I think we can all agree that we need a truly good person to take Shumway's place." Jaha said, "Commander Miller." He said nodding. There was a stunned silence before members of the guard began coming up, patting his back and congratulating him. He blushed with embarrassment and pride, but accepted it.
Jaha also promoted others, to try to show that the force of the guard was still very much a strong entity. That's how, despite some young ages, people found themselves being bumped up. Apparently, not falling for a crazy person's cult made you a good candidate to be in higher positions. Bellamy wasn't sure he all the way agreed, but they needed people with responsibilities more than they needed mere foot soldiers. They still had plenty of those with incoming classes and all. There would always be more children wanting to be in the guard, but you couldn't magically make guardsmen with experience appear.
Bellamy found himself as a Lieutenant, a title he hadn't thought he'd achieve until he was at least seven or so years older, maybe four or five if he showed real initiative.
Miller was promoted to a Sergeant, and merely unclipped his father's tag and put it on his own vest, since it only had title and last names. Murphy became a sergeant as well. Harper and Dax became Inspectors. Bellamy felt a sharp pang in his chest because is Ana and Monroe were still here, no doubt would they have been promoted too. Even if Ana betrayed them...the thought was still there.
He had a feeling the thought would always be there.
FORWARD
Bellamy was there at Diana's floating. She was the last of the insurgents to be floated, and she was forced to watch every single one of them. She was under close guard because Bellamy knew there were a couple generally good guards even that would like nothing more than to make her suffer. Floating would be a mercy.
And maybe it was almost enough, and she did show remorse for what she'd lead people to. But Bellamy didn't think it would ever be enough to take away the pain she caused.
She hadn't been allowed to be present at the funerals of those killed. Bellamy had insisted being at all of them, even Shumway's and Ana's. No one had really stepped forward to honor Shumway in any way, but a good number of the group had come to Ana's, even if it wasn't with the sort of procession the others got. But, she still deserved something, Bellamy thought. All those years of being their friends couldn't have all been a lie...the only lie was started from the moment she found out about the marriage law.
And stars, never in a million years would Bellamy had thought a traitor's-no, Ana's- funeral be so hard.
But, it was nothing compared to Zoe's. The group members had crammed themselves all the way down the hallway to see her be sent off into the cold, starry expanse. She had been nice to everyone, never really said a mean thing. She was funny and could outrun any guy and in general not the sort of person who deserved to die like this. Bellamy knew she was dead but he hoped somewhere her spirit would see how much she was loved and how much she was going to be missed.
Diana would not get a funeral. Her death would not be mourned. Not even her husband, who had thought her to be a generally decent person, seemed disgusted and pleased at her impending death. Yeah, must have been tough for him to realize he married a killer, Bellamy thought.
She was brought in and she fought against the guards that roughly handled her, though not that she was resisting or thought she'd get out of it.
"Spare me my dignity," She muttered to them.
"I think that's long gone," Murphy hissed angrily. Raven had her surgery, but there were some things that would never be completely fixed. Her left leg gave her trouble walking as it was, and Abby couldn't be sure she'd get feeling back into it. Murphy, like many others, had reason to be bitter and angry and upset.
The people to witness this death were a smaller number. Mostly only guards, along with Abby. Clarke had been upset she couldn't be there.
Jaha opened the door to the chamber, motioning for her to step in with a dark expression. She grinned at him as she passed.
"Why smile, Diana?" Abby asked evenly, "You have failed. Even if you expected yourself to fall, you thought there would be others to continue, but your entire faction of rebels have been all killed." She said, "You didn't win."
Bellamy held this to his chest, these words. She didn't win, that was enough. Diana Sydney had not won.
"Oh, my dear." Diana said, pausing before she stepped into the chamber, "But haven't I? I will be infamous and an idea can never truly die, can it? There will be always people like me. It is a tide...a cycle that never ends." She said sagely and sadistically, grinning and laughing to herself like she'd said something incredibly funny.
Jaha closed the door and Bellamy hardly heard his words of the process, only heard the snap as the doors to the outside opened and just like that, Sydney was gone.
His words haunted him...people could be killed, but ideas could not. This would trouble him for a long time.
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So that's it! All caught up with the chapters I have posted elsewhere. When will the next chapter get out? Only time and my writing muse (who is currently being a jerk) will tell.
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