Lauren’s POV
“This is the last time I’m telling you, get up!” My mom groaned and next thing I knew the duvet was pulled off me forcefully, leaving my body exposed to the cooled air in my room.
“I told you, I’m sick!” I countered, retrieving back the safety of my warm duvet and contriving in pulling it over my head.
“Oh honey.” Clara’s voice softened. “You forget that as your mother I’ve seen you sick on multiple occasions, which gives me the ability to also know when you’re not. So school, now.” She barked motherly and grabbed the comforter again, this time taking it with her as she left the room.
“You can’t do that!” I complained after her.
“I just did. It’s called tough love.” My mother screamed back and I let my back fall into the mattress in annoyance.
It took me another five minutes before I had to admit defeat and fought my way into the shower. The heated water soothed down my body and I sighed. My body and mind was a chaos, but I couldn’t deny that it felt good to feel some sort of warmth.
Ever since Camila and I had broken up about a week ago I’d had no desire what to do with my life. It was like everything I used to do and think before Camila had evaporated, delete itself from my mind. I was clueless and the memory of our break-up was still a bit foggy.
Camila had ran out before I could had even started to comprehend the situation and now that she wouldn’t even speak to me it was too late. I couldn’t really believe her request, was it fair of her to give me that kind of ultimatum? Sure I had left out a few crucial details about my past but it didn’t mean that she could force them out of me.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell her, but the past was too painful to relieve. Sienna and my previous friends was a chapter in my life that I wouldn’t like to revisit so I never did. A rough series of knocks on the bathroom door interrupted my train of thoughts.
“You’re not the only one living in this house you know, finish up Lauren!” Taylor drummed on the door and I got out, wrapping a towel around me peacefully instead of arguing back.
I was too drained for energy to fight with my sister right now. I pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a white top and accidentally met the reflection in the mirror. To be honest I looked like a hobo who had been in hibernation for at least a month, although the truth was that I hadn’t been lost more than a week.
The plan of getting Camila back would be a hard task seeing that she refused to talk to me. Her friends were naturally taking her side and joining in on her silence treatment, which meant that there was no chance to get a message through them.
I had been the creator of the rules that determined who you could be and what was unacceptable to be. And now I was paying the most ironical price.
I was deeply in love with a girl who rejected all those rules and certainly wouldn’t play by them. In all honesty I was almost jealous of her courage, she wasn’t bound by anything. Whereas I had been too concerned about everyone else’s opinions that I incessantly managed to ruin it for us.
I had seen my rules as a necessity, to keep balance and stability to my little universe. But it wasn’t longer the admiring glances from others or the promise of no pressure that was keeping my universe sane and collected. It was simply the feature of a petite girl with big, brown eyes.
Walking out of the room I met the eyes of a clearly irritated Taylor, her forehead scrunching up. “Did you die in there or something?” She hissed annoyed but her attempt to provoke didn’t have the usual effect.
“The bathroom is all yours.” I shrugged and left her standing baffled in the doorway.
“Are you alright?” She asked softer and revealed her concern.
“I’m fine.” I said and closed the door to my room. I’d learned that playing soccer didn’t only improve your health. It also taught you how to set goals, and more importantly; how to reach them. I glanced over at my guitar. If I wanted Camila back I couldn’t just show up with a bouquet of flowers and an apology. I had to go all in.
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Camila’s POV
How long has it been? I thought. The correct answer would be a week, but the way my body felt exhausted and retired it could have been much longer. Being without Lauren certainly put a toll on my mood. My lips basically longed after touching hers and I really missed the warmth of her presence, holding me close.
But it hadn’t been my decision to end it. She had taken the choice all by herself, but still. We could say I had a fair share of the reason why we weren’t even talking. To be honest I couldn’t deal with her at all, which meant that all of her calls and voicemails had gone ignored.
It wasn’t as much that I hated her as the fact that I didn’t trust myself to hear her voice again. Most likely I would have agreed to some sort of friendship, and that was not a good thing when you were trying to get over someone.
I shook my head, attempting to rid myself of the thoughts. We were done. Over. Being with me wasn’t worth it for Lauren. I laughed. Ironically I had been going over how to not think about Lauren, but now, the more I tried to forget her, the more she infiltrated my mind. Part of me just couldn’t let her go.
Although, she’d had no problem to let me go in the first place. I knew she wanted me back, or, that was what she stated in her last messages at least. I’d settled with the thought that Lauren would never get over herself, or her desperate need of status. I had needed for her to show me that her words weren’t just words, that she really cared about me.
It wasn’t like I demanded that she’d completely discard her group of old friends. Honestly, as selfish as it sounded, I just wanted to know if she would have.
I hadn’t known Lauren for very long but it wasn’t hard to see that she was strong-headed, passionate, which was why it was so difficult for me to understand why she couldn’t be like that in our relationship.
When I arrived by my locker met by a crowd of my old and new friends. Both Lauren’s set of friends and mine had blended alright. We never thought this would ever happen, but I was glad something good came out of our brief relationship.
I looked at Veronica and Lucy, arching my brow at their intertwined hands before I broke out in a wide grin. “that was ‘bout time!” I teased and they both blushed furiously. The whole deal with Veronica took a lot of time and effort, but in the end I had to admit Vero wasn’t such a terrible person.
But I wouldn’t go as far as saying she was extremely nice either. We were still working on rebuilding some trust and forgetting the past. Which was why it actually surprised me that they had all met up to greet me.
Today was a simple Tuesday and for a short second I panicked, thinking I had mixed up the dates and someone had a birthday coming up. It wouldn’t have surprised me really. Details had become less important to me nowadays.
“Don’t freak out now.” Ally nudged me.
Confused I furrowed my brows. All their eyes sparkled with excitement as I could hear a light strum of a guitar. I swung around, and there she stood, a beanie on top of her head and an acoustic guitar around her neck. Her eyes were glued to me and I could see the bundle nerves. Lauren’s eyes had never been good at disguising her emotions.
Surprisingly, she strummed down the strings again and next thing I knew, her lips parted.
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Lauren’s POV
This was so completely spontaneous that a turmoil of anxiety and nerves formed in my stomach. I really hadn’t planned for all the looks I would get from the other students, which now seemed like a stupid thing to overlook.
It was too late though. My fingers were already pressing the chords and my hand strummed the strings melodically. Before I could rethink my mouth opened and I started on the lyrics to one of my favorite songs.
“And being here without you,
it’s like I’m waking up to,
Only half a blue sky,
kind of there but not quite.”
I sang, the adrenaline in my body spreading like wildfire and the loud thumping of my heart drowned out all sound. Locking my eyes on Camila’s I couldn’t help but smile. As anticipated she looked utterly astounded. Her jaw was slightly dropped and her hands had lost grip of her bag.
“I’m walking around with just one shoe,
I’m half a heart without you.
I’m half a girl at best,
with half an arrow in my chest,”
I took a step forwards, the words spilling from my mind and I had to bite back tears. Pausing in front of her I glanced down at the guitar, my voice slowing down.
“I miss everything we do.
I’m half a heart without you…
Without you, without you..
I’m half a heart without you…”
I strummed the last chord, the music hanging in the air and it wasn’t before now that I could hear her unsteady breathing right in front of me. Meeting her brown eyes I knew I had made the right choice. How could I have not seen it before now? She was looking at me like I was the greatest person alive, and for her I would be.
Sadly, her features went from soft to stern. I couldn’t read it, but she surely didn’t look as appreciative as I had thought she would be. I cleared my throat. It was only fair that I was the one to speak.
“I love you.” I blurted and face palmed myself internally. I really had planned to not start my speech so stereotyped but looking into her eyes I couldn’t help myself.
I inhaled. “I’m in love with you Camila. I have been ever since I ran into your stupid locker. There’s no excuse for the way I treated you, but I guess where I’m going is…can you please forgive me? You’re all I want, friends or more.”
I held my breath as she didn’t answer. She just stood there with her arms crossed and I had never seen her this emotionless. Camila loved all those cheesy movies and seeing that I’d just serenaded her in front of the whole school I had expected some sort of reaction. I scratched the back of my head worried.
I had hoped she’d at least forgive me, ok cross that out. Honestly I had wished she would take me back. I needed her to take me back. Without her I was a mess. I watched in anxiousness as her hand lifted and I closed my eyes. Sink or swim Lauren, sink or swim.
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