Levi had been functionally mute since I'd known him. The therapist said it would fade as he grew to feel more secure and she was right.
On our 73rd day together, he looked right at me and called me 'Momma'.
I sat back on the bench, stunned.
"Momma," he repeated.
"Alice," I smiled.
He didn't parrot it back.
I quickly texted Jeb, *Levi just called me Mom. Trying to get him to say Alice.*
No response.
"Ummi's," Levi demanded.
"You've already had your vitamin gummies today," I shook my head.
Levi pouted then rode off on his Big Wheel one more time around the deck. It was as big again as the house and a wonderland to a toddler who was sick of being inside.
"Hey."
I turned and jumped. "Hey. When did you get back?"
"Just now."
We locked eyes. I hadn't seen Jeb in over two weeks and he was even hotter than I remembered. His skin was tanner, his eyes were bluer, and the muscles on his arms seemed...
I swallowed my spit. No fair.
He shot me an admiring glance like he knew my thoughts and stepped out onto the deck in my direction.
Levi immediately spotted him. With squeals of delight, Jeb lifted him up into his arms and swung him around in a hug.
"Dada! Dada!"
Jeb stepped back in surprise.
"Told you," I shrugged. "Probably from being at school with all the kids and their parents?"
He nodded. "I'm not arguing with it. Talking is good."
"Dada! Ummi's!"
"He's already had his vitamin gummies," I groaned.
"Banana? Can you say Banana?" Jeb asked, carrying him inside.
"Na-Na!!" he shouted.
"We're gonna work on volume, next," I laughed, pouring myself a glass of water. "You're back a day early."
"Marco's on site to clear the pre-pour inspection issues. It's a clusterfuck. The whole thing is political." He peeled the banana and broke it off into chunks on Levi's highchair tray. "But at least I get a break."
I glanced at his face and realized that beneath the hotness - he looked exhausted. And he was still wearing the ring!
Jeb indicated my own hand with raised eyebrows.
"Levi got his cast off and I got one on," I sighed.
"Bright red?"
"Guess who picked it?"
Levi grinned, showing a mouthful of banana.
"Wasn't the splint working?"
I shook my head. "It was actually two kinds of break - articular and spiral. Or, to quote the surgeon, 'spun and snapped'. Pretty gnarly. They had to put a pin in."
"Wait, you had surgery? When did this happen?"
"It was outpatient, last week. I left work at lunch and was home by dinner."
"Alice..."
The buzzer rang and I hopped up and clicked the button. Fed Ex. I went to the door and signed for the envelope. Ripping the cardboard open, it was only a couple of pieces of paper.
Notice of Hearing to Approve Irreconcilable Differences Divorce. This case is set for hearing at the court above on...
My stomach clenched and I stepped back.
"Alice..." Jeb came up behind me. "I was trying to tell you..."
"It's fine," I flashed him a small smile.
"Look..."
"It's. FINE." I scanned the paper again. August 20? That was day 100. "I don't have to go, right?"
"I don't think so."
"Could you check?"
"Yeah, of course. I'm not going to make you..." He rubbed his head. "We should talk, Alice. Really talk."
I nodded. "How about I buy dinner this time?"
"Nah. It's still my turn."
That night, after we went to bed, I could barely close my eyes knowing he was asleep on the other side of the house. I didn't know how to handle the awareness of him. The desire, deep in my belly, to take those steps across the great room to his door.
I rolled around, unable to get comfortable.
The next morning, I had massive raccoon eyes. When Gayle picked up Levi after school she stopped short at the sight of me.
"You OK?"
"Jeb's back." I didn't tell her that my boss, Paul, had been bringing me tea all day - convinced I was coming down with something.
All the concealer in the world didn't fix it. Despite changing into a fuchsia sundress and re-applying my make-up, it was obvious from Jeb's reaction that I still looked unwell.
"You OK?" He asked, standing as I approached the table. I realized he was dressed up for me in pressed khakis, a deep blue polo shirt and oxford shoes. Amazing.
"Yeah," I sighed. I am now.
The waiter came around and gave us our menus and a small plate of grapes - some that that had been infused with champagne, others had a walnut coating. I hadn't realized it was a prix fixe place but clearly Jeb had. He looked pretty smug.
"Finally taking you to a proper dinner," he announced.
Next the waiter brought tiny venison sliders. Since we hadn't talked much while he was gone, we had things to catch up on. I told Jeb about the charges against Lonnie and Garth. How Lonnie had recovered and gone to jail. How Garth had been charged and let go on bond and was even back to preaching.
"Wait. So...the church just took Garth back?"
I nodded. "He made some kind of confession to Jimmy Lee and then they had a meeting with the Elders. And they forgave him. That's all I know."
"That's bullshit. Have you talked to your mom?"
I shook my head. "Not yet."
Cucumber watermelon salad was delivered in blue enamel bowls. One of my favorites.
Jeb told me about the progress on the house and the last, sustained effort to stop construction. "Once the foundation is poured, the argument is pretty much over," he shook his head. "There's really no going back from that."
Jeb had the flat iron steak and I had the lemon chicken with capers. He reached over without me asking and cut mine up into bite sized pieces.
I swooned, just a little.
He asked about Levi's progress at the school and with therapy. I asked about Queenie and Jay's son.
"Oh! I forgot to tell you - they picked a name. Kenen Mohalaleli Scott."
"Mohalaleli?"
"Saint, in Sesotho."
"Ah. It's a strong name."
"It's better than Satsana. Speaking as a man."
"Now you have a Kenen and a Keren?"
"I guess. But I never met Keren. She lives in New Zealand."
"Whoa. Other side of the planet."
"The old man got around," he sighed.
The desert was an assortment of cheesecakes with fruit toppings.
"About the divorce..."
"Before you say anything, I need to tell you that I am leaving that day. August 20."
"Leaving?"
"I told you that I would keep my promise. You should have had more faith."
"Don't doubt my faith," Jeb warned, his eyes dark. "Where are you going?"
"Greece. Refugee work for about 6 months."
"Whoa," he leaned back. "Seriously?"
I nodded.
"What kind of flaky..." Jeb gritted his teeth and looked away from me for few moments.
"I'm going to be bringing art to the children in the camps. It's something I believe in."
"What about the Montessori school?"
"I'm just subbing for another teacher. She'll be back the week before from maternity leave."
"Oh. I don't think I realized she was coming back."
"It's a great gig. She'd be a fool not to."
"But Greece? Is that safe? And what about Levi, Alice? How is he supposed to..."
Oh, God. "I'm just the caretaker, Jeb. The problem is if I don't leave, right? Then he'll keep calling me Momma and..." my heart broke thinking about it. "You're a single father, Jeb. That's what this was all about, remember?"
He met my eyes, his expression full of confusion and anger.
We sat, arguing in silence, for several long minutes. The waiter brought us decaf and a small cheese plate with fruit and thin wafers. Behind us, a singer joined the small jazz band and a few couples headed to the tiny dance floor.
Jeb stood up suddenly and tossed his napkin on the chair.
Then he surprised me by holding out his hand.
My heart flipped inside my chest. For a moment, I didn't know what to do but then I stood. He led me to the floor and took me into his arms. The band was playing 'Que Sera Sera', slow and deep.
I rested my face on his chest and felt his fingers at the small of my back as we swayed in a simple box step.
She ended the song with a small flourish and I regretfully stepped back and tried to clap around my cast. I turned back to our table but Jeb pulled me back into his arms. The band began "Someone to Watch Over Me." I felt his lips in my hair as we began moving again.
"Alicia," He murmured. "Te adoro. Te deseo."
I sighed.
We turned to the music, listening and touching. A spell fell on us and we stayed on the floor for the rest of the set.
Eventually, we were the last ones.
As we stepped in the humid night, he took my hand. "Leave Soylent here until tomorrow. It will be fine in the lot."
I nodded and walked with him towards the truck. He held my door and then went around to climb into the driver's side. He started the engine and gunned the air conditioner but didn't put it in gear.
"When will you be back?"
"From Greece? End of February unless Lonnie's trial goes earlier than that."
"OK," he sighed. "What about..."
"No."
"You don't even know what I'm going to ask."
"You're going to say that when I get back, we should get together and try dating. See where it leads us?"
Through the streetlight's reflection on his face, I could see him nod.
"Jeb, I've been in this one-sided love for a while now. It's heavy. That's not your fault, OK? But I want to put it down. If I can. I don't know. I want..."
He leaned over and kissed me. Hard, pressing, his arm pulling me against him. He opened my mouth with his and tasted me. I tasted him back, suddenly feeling drunk and spinning.
"Not one-sided," he stated, as he pulled back a bit. "Not."
I licked my lips; the were buzzing from his kiss. "So..." I blew out a breath. "What now?"
"Now?"
"Mmmm."
"I don't know," he confessed, cupping my face with his hand and rubbing his thumb over my mouth. "My plan only covered you staying. But once again, you trashed it."
"I am the plan-killer."
"I missed you," Jeb kissed me again, softly.
"Me, too."
"So cancel this Greece thing."
I shook my head. "I'm going."
"All I need is time. Why does it have..."
I could feel the argument boiling back up between us and I didn't want that. It hurt to see this guy I loved work so hard against his instincts. It hurt that we were yoked in this mis-matched marriage. I couldn't bear it.
"Jeb, can we just be together while we're together?"
"What?"
"We've got 20-something days left. Can't we just enjoy them?"
"But..."
"I promise, no more talk about Greece or the divorce. I just..." my chest hurt and I rubbed it. "It's what we agree on, right? Our Venn diagram middle ground? That we have right now."
"Can you at least think about staying? Or at least dating when you get home?"
I nodded. I could promise to do that.
He kissed me again and the fizzles were back in a big way. I practically climbed in his lap from wanting more. Eventually, we came up for air.
"Let's go home?"
I grinned and put on my seat belt.
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I'm having so much fun writing this, I keep forgetting to leave notes reminding you that if you like the story - please vote. And if you'd something in the story or if you want to see something happen - please comment!
/bella